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5 things that happen when introverts fall in love

Introverts love differently than most people and in a world built for extroversion, their silence can be confusing. Yet it is the silence that holds the answers.
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An introvert in love will leave their comfort zone but will also demand respect for their own quiet time.

Introverts, stuck in a world that largely caters to extroverted people, are an oft-misunderstood group. The ways of expression have developed in such a way that many times the silence or non-talkativeness of introverts is misinterpreted. Do these things affect the way they fall in love?

Things happen when an introvert falls in love

1.  Leave the comfort zone

Introverts tend to like their space, they are comfortable in silence and don’t need noise of any sort, be that talking, music, or the sound of the television running in the background to fill up space. They don’t feel that space is empty without chatter, to begin with. Taking this into account, if an introvert falls in love with an ambivert or an extrovert, it reflects in them being willing to leave their comfort zone. We must understand that introverts are wired differently, therefore a busy bar or a coffee shop might not be an ideal setting to hang out for them. However, love trumps the discomfort and you see this when they are willing to put themselves in these settings without much trouble. I’m not trying to suggest that they make a great sacrifice for love, but that the trouble of being in an extroverted environment seems to be worth it if that means they get to spend time with their loved one.

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Related reading: 10 people share how they felt the night before their wedding

2. No small talk

Introverts aren’t a big fan of small talk. (I don’t think anyone is, to be honest; small talk is just plain exhausting, it’s like filler on the television that comes between the shows.) This works when it comes to dating in both of the persons’ favour. Not wanting to talk about the weather, they can often directly go to the important things, the interesting conversations, which makes talking to them particularly enjoyable. You see, chatting is a special occasion of sorts for introverts and they have no time to waste discussing mundane things. When they are getting to know you, they will ask you about life, love, what scares you, what moves you. In many ways, these conversations are more intimate and gratifying than the constant boring chatter that people engage in. While everyone likes good conversations, we often settle for the boring kinds, and introverts by default go silent and don’t converse if such conversations occur. This makes the whole courtship a deeper, more meaningful process.

man in conversation with woman
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3. Actions speak louder than words

Introverts are great at having deep conversations. But even when they aren’t speaking, their actions are more thoughtful. They tend to express love through actions than proclamations. They might buy you a small yet meaningful gift. Their silence often makes them brilliant observers and therefore they might notice more things about you than others would, and follow up those things. They might take you out to a restaurant you passingly mentioned you wanted to visit, surprise you with your favourite bar of chocolate, plan elaborate birthday gifts that have stories attached to them. They say I love you as many times as you might say it out loud, but instead of verbalising it, they put it out there as actions, like a silent proclamation of love.

Related reading:  5 things a girl does in a live-in relationship

4. Slow and steady

If you are about to date an introvert, remember one thing, you HAVE to take things slow. You see, taking things slow is always a good idea when it comes to romance, but it is especially prudent if you’re dealing with someone who is introverted. Remember they don’t share things the way you do; their concept of love and boundaries is different. In the extroverted world, sharing is considered an act of caring; however, this sharing can turn into over-sharing and people tend to become open books on the first date. There’s nothing wrong in that, and honesty is important in a relationship, but just because some people take time to open up about themselves doesn’t mean they are prudes or hiding something. Introverts take time to trust people; the silent person you are falling in love with is going through a storm of emotions in their mind and you must trust that they will reveal everything at the correct time. Introverts tend to say little but mean what they say to the word and therefore patience proves to be the best idea when you are in love with them. They will go out of their way to accommodate you, they’ll go to the party that you want to go to, they’ll even start hanging out outside every day, but they will not rush things, neither will they be able to explain this speed. Just roll with it.

couple hanging out together
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5. Synchronicity

Everyone looks for a perfectly synced relationship. We all want things to be smooth and fun at the same time. But introverts value this synchronicity more than others. Their quiet time is important to them and while they will be willing to leave this quiet time to talk to you and go out, they will also need to go back to it once in a while. An introvert in love is looking for someone whom they can be silent with, with whom space doesn’t feel empty even if you aren’t speaking. Spending a quiet rainy day in bed, reading, making love, watching their favourite TV show is all they want. A partner that can respect this is a partner that introverts will be able to feel synchronicity with. A relationship doesn’t have to be fireworks all the time; the silences are equally important, and it is these shared silences that introverts look for when they are in love.

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