An introvert in love will leave their comfort zone but will also demand respect for their own quiet time. Introverts, stuck in a world that largely caters to extroverted people, are an oft-misunderstood group. The ideas around the expression of love have developed in such a way that the silence or non-talkativeness of introverts is often misinterpreted.
Do these things affect the way they fall in love? Is an introvert afraid of love? Do introverts only fall in love with introverts? Will an introvert woman in love find it hard to deal with the needs of an extrovert partner? Will an extrovert man in love feel neglected by a partner who finds it difficult to be expressive and outgoing? You probably have questions like these in your mind.
Introverts and extroverts can begin by understanding each other and making a commitment to come to a middle ground with each other’s emotional needs. When an introvert falls in love, there are distinct ways they would show their love that is different from the average person. An extrovert partner can learn about an introvert’s love language. An introvert partner can learn to communicate their needs and boundaries better. Any difference can be mended, any obstacle can be overcome, provided two people are committed to working for the betterment of their relationship.
5 Things That Happen When An Introvert Falls In Love
When shy introverts fall in love, they love differently. Any person in a relationship with an introvert will have to understand an introvert in love is not like any other person. It might help to prepare yourself with the knowledge of what do introverts do when they fall in love.
That knowledge certainly could’ve helped Samantha when she started dating her man-of-few-words partner, David. “A week-long relationship between a girl and an introvert is like a battleground of trying to figure out how the other communicates. In the beginning, I had no idea that he’d rather just shell up than ever tell me the things he wants and the things he dislikes,” Samantha tells us.
“However, as the weeks passed, I realized that when an introvert finds the perfect person to open up to, they try their best to mend their communication. will an introvert say “I love you” in the first week, or even before you? Probably not. But nonetheless, you’ll see them really trying to get out of their comfort zone for you, which is the cutest thing ever,” she adds.
They make the extra effort to do a lot of things because they are shy people and you will have to realize and appreciate that. Here are the things an introvert in love will do. And if you are thinking about how to make an introvert fall in love with you, then these tips on dating a shy introvert person will really come in handy.
1. They leave their comfort zone
Introverts tend to like their space. They are comfortable in silence and don’t need noise of any sort, be it talking, music, or the sound of the television running in the background to fill up space. They don’t feel that space is empty without chatter, to begin with. Taking this into account, if an introvert falls in love with an ambivert or an extrovert, it reflects their willingness to leave their comfort zone.
We must understand that introverts are wired differently, therefore a busy bar or a coffee shop might not be an ideal setting to hang out for them. However, love trumps the discomfort and you see this when they are willing to put themselves in these settings without much trouble. I’m not trying to suggest that they make a great sacrifice for love, but it’s still a stepping stone.
However, the trouble of being in an extroverted environment seems to be worth it if that means they get to spend quality time with their loved ones. An introvert in love wants nothing more than that. Do not mistake an introvert to be someone with social anxiety. They aren’t really people who would break into cold sweats with people around but they simply don’t like to be in crowded places and talk too much.
Related Reading: 5 Effective Tips On Dating An Introvert
2. No small talk
Introverts aren’t a big fan of small talk. (I don’t think anyone is, to be honest; small talk is just plain exhausting, it’s like filler on the television that comes between the shows.) Not wanting to rely on conversation starters such as the weather, they can often directly go to the important things, the interesting conversations, which makes talking to them particularly enjoyable. When it comes to dating, this works in both the person’s favor and is perfect for an introvert relationship.
You see, chatting is a special occasion of sorts for introverts and they have no time to waste discussing mundane things. When they are getting to know you, they will ask you about life, love, what scares you, and what moves you. In many ways, these conversations are more intimate and gratifying than the constant boring chatter that people engage in. An introvert in love will not talk about this and that but will be more specific. Especially when an introvert finds the perfect person to open up to.
While everyone likes good conversations, we often settle for the boring kinds, and introverts by default go silent and don’t participate if such conversations occur. For an introvert in love, this makes the whole courtship a deeper, more meaningful process. An introvert in love is a great conversationalist, they just have to find that right connection and topics of mutual interest.
3. For an introvert in love, actions speak louder than words
First things first, let’s address the bizarre question that some people have: do introverts fall in love? Yes, yes they do. Just because they’re not the best at showing it doesn’t mean they don’t fall in love. Now, it’s important to understand that Introverts are great at having deep conversations. But even when they aren’t speaking, their actions are more thoughtful. Actions are an introvert’s love language. This means they tend to express love through actions rather than proclamations. They might buy you a small but meaningful gift.
You will note that their silence often makes them brilliant observers. Therefore they might notice more things about you than others would, and follow up on those things. They might take you out to a restaurant you passingly mentioned you wanted to visit, surprise you with your favorite bar of chocolate, and plan elaborate birthday gifts that have stories attached to them.
Introverts in relationships say I love you as many times as you might say it out loud, but instead of verbalizing it, they put it out there as actions, like proclamations of love without saying anything at all. When an introvert goes silent, it doesn’t mean they’re not feeling anything. But that only means that when an introvert says I love you, in words, it is a big deal, and they must really mean it. An introvert in love is an absolute delight. Since they are keen observers, if they like you they will keep everything you say in their mind and you will be surprised with their elephantine memory.
4. An introvert in love is slow and steady
If you are about to date an introvert, remember one thing, you should take it slowly. You see, falling in love too fast isn’t a great idea to begin with, but it is especially prudent to slow down in romance if you’re dealing with an introvert in love. Even if you’re figuring out how to make an introvert fall in love with you, remember how introverts show love is different. They don’t share things the way you do; their concept of love and boundaries is different.
In the extroverted world, sharing is considered an act of caring; however, this sharing can turn into over-sharing and people tend to become open books on the first date. There’s nothing wrong with that. Honesty is important in a relationship, but just because some people take time to open up about themselves doesn’t mean they are hiding something. Introverts take time to trust people; the silent person you are falling in love with is going through a storm of emotions in their mind.
You must trust that they will reveal everything at the correct time. An introvert in love tends to say little but means what he or she says to the word. Therefore patience proves to be the best idea when you are in love with them. They will go out of their way to accommodate you. They’ll go to the party that you want to go to, they’ll even start hanging out outside every day. But they will not rush things, nor will they be able to explain why. You have to just roll with it.
5. Introverts in love value synchronicity
Everyone looks for a perfectly synced relationship. We all want things to be smooth and fun at the same time. But introverts in relationships value this synchronicity more than others. Their quiet time is important to them and while they will be willing to leave this quiet time to talk to you and go out, they will also need to go back to it once in a while. Hence, when an introvert goes silent, it doesn’t mean they’re annoyed with you, they’re just doing what they need to do.
An introvert in love is looking for someone whom they can be silent with. A person with whom they can enjoy a golden silence. They would want to sit with you with a cuppa and just watch the sunset. Spending a quiet rainy day in bed, reading, making love, or watching their favorite TV show is all they want. A partner that shows acceptance, love, and respect for their needs is a blessing to them. Someone who can understand introvert love language is a partner that introverts will be able to feel synchronicity with.
Now that we know all about what happens when an introvert falls in love, the next question that arises comes to our mind is if introverts falling in love is easy.
Related Reading: 13 Red Flags In Women You Should Never Ignore
Do Introverts Fall In Love Easy?
Well, yes and no. Introverts, like any other personality type, fall in love at a pace that is subjective to each individual. However introverts, unlike extroverts and ambiverts, don’t share how they feel with everyone around them. So, if you have an introverted friend who suddenly tells you that they are in love, it might take you by surprise.
But the truth is, they have silently been falling in love with this person for a long time. It’s just that they have only become comfortable enough to tell you now. That’s also the reason why signs an introvert guy is falling for you may not be too easy to spot since they never really tell you what they’re thinking. This gap in communication because of an introvert’s non-sharing habits causes two kinds of assumptions around introverts and love, both of which could be incorrect.
1. Yes, they fall in love easy
It might seem like an introvert falls in love easily. But the truth is, introverts in love aren’t like the rest. When an extrovert or even an ambivert starts developing feelings, they have to share their thoughts with someone. They speak to their friends and family and seek their opinion or just rant about their feelings.
This is not the case with introverts. They internalize their feelings instead of sharing them because they may be too shy to admit they are in fact in love. In fact, as their romantic interests, you may have to look for signs a guy loves you secretly or a girl has been harboring feelings for you. This is why, to you, it might seem like they fall in love easier than the rest since you don’t know all the mental prep work they were dealing with.
If you’re wondering how to make an introvert fall in love with you, your best bit is to hope that they let you on about what’s going through their mind at least once in a while. Apart from that, just be yourself and don’t push them too much, they’ll come around.
2. No, they don’t fall in love easy
For the same reason, it might also seem like they have a hard time falling in love. They might be in love with someone but they chose to tread with caution and not announce it. Because the process of introverts falling in love is not something they share often, you as their friend, wouldn’t come to know of the many times they fell in love. You wouldn’t know of the little things people usually share when they are falling in love with someone.
This might make you think that introverts falling in love is not a common occurrence. In fact, it may even appear as though a week-long relationship between a girl and an introvert seems like the introvert is not interested at all. So, do they fall in love easily or don’t they? If you have really caught an introvert’s fancy, they will take their time before figuring out ways to express their feelings to you. Even if you are an extrovert. But once they do, they might free fall for you. And you can rest assured that you have on your hands a committed partner for life.
There is much debate around the topic of introvert-extrovert relationships. If you are an extrovert falling for an introvert and vice versa, you needn’t fret. We are here to answer your question
Do Extrovert And Introvert Relationships Work?
Ever heard the phrase, opposites attract? This is true to a large extent. However, sometimes, our differences can also separate us. Yes, opposites attract. But attraction is not the answer to making a relationship work. That takes consistent effort on the part of both partners. So, do extrovert and introvert relationships work? The answer is yes, if you both want to make it work. If you love your partner and value your relationship, chances are that your extrovert-introvert relationship will work and that you and your partner as opposites will stay happy together.
There are several challenges an extrovert-introvert relationship is faced with due to their stark opposite nature. especially in the beginning, since the signs an introvert guy is falling for you are scarce, and the way an introvert girl expresses her love doesn’t necessarily bode too well with the extrovert. Moreover, the extrovert is probably always thinking, “Will an introvert even say I love you to me?”
But what makes a relationship work is similarities in values, principles, and goals. All relationships need work, commitment, and some amount of adjustment. Or finding a common ground. All healthy relationships work on the foundations of trust, security, mutual respect, and constant communication.
The differences between an extrovert and an introvert can also become their strength. An introvert will bring much-needed rest, rejuvenation, and contemplation to the relationship. An extrovert will complement that with things like expressions of love, fun and recreation, good communication, etc.
How to make an introvert-extrovert relationship work
When shy introverts fall in love with outgoing extroverts, a commitment to honor the differences must be taken. Introverts and love is tricky territory. Love requires communication and introverts find it particularly difficult to convey every little thing that goes on their mind. This means a lot of their needs go unnoticed and unheard. Here are a few things that you can be mindful of while dating someone of a different personality type:
- Embrace your differences: Accept them the way they are, for who they are. You love this person and with love comes accepting both the good and the not-so-good parts of your partner. Differences can also make a partnership a success
- Learn to give each other space: Loving an introvert is not easy for an extrovert and vice versa. But one of the best things you can do while dating an introvert is to give them personal space when they seem like they need it
- Listen to them: Listening and not just hearing, is important. They need it most from an expressive extroverted partner
- Communicate with your partner: This is exceedingly important in introvert-extrovert relationships since you both look at the world in completely different ways. Making the other person understand your PoV is essential and can only be done through effective communication
- Find activities that you both enjoy: Finding common ground on things will make your relationship work. Yes, you are very different people but as long as you have things you agree on and activities you can do together and enjoy together, you have a strong bond
- Reject the “my way or the highway” theory: If you refuse to alter and adjust to your partner, this isn’t going to work. We all love doing things a certain way. But to make relationships work, we have to accommodate our partners’ ways of doing things too as change is a part of every relationship
If you already find yourself doing these things, then your introvert-extrovert relationship is going to work. A relationship doesn’t have to be fireworks all the time; the silences are equally important. It is these shared silences that introverts look for when they are in love. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if you are an introvert or an extrovert. You know when you are in love. And if you really love someone and they love you, you will find ways to be with them because your relationship will be worth it.
What do introverts do when they fall in love, you wonder? How introverts show love is by stepping out of their comfort zone. A lot of what is normal for you, might be difficult for them. But they chose to do a lot of those things because they like to spend time with you. Other than that, they will make you their go-to person which will feel like a privilege, because they are not really high on sharing.
When introverts fall in love, they love deeply. Because an introvert’s love language is definitely not talking a lot and sharing every little emotion, they take their time alone with their feelings. This means that when an introvert says I love you, they are sure they want to commit to the relationship and are willing to do the work. Isn’t that what loving deeply is about?
Yes, absolutely. And vice versa. In fact, their opposite traits might seem very attractive to the other partner. For example, to an extrovert man, a quiet laid back woman who needs her own space and is most comfortable around herself might seem very attractive. Similarly, an introvert woman in love with an extrovert man might feel extremely grateful to be with him at a party. She knows that she can depend on him to rescue her from all awkward social interactions.