Women and masturbation
The idea that women can find pleasure in their own bodies is frowned upon by societies all over the world. We can blame social conditioning, the patriarchal system and the unfortunate fact that women are seen as property just as material wealth, cattle, and assets are.
Any pleasure that may have been discovered by chance is kept under wraps, for fear of censure, by men and the general society. So women have learnt to keep their heads down and deny themselves of any happiness. The lesson here is ‘ignorance is bliss’, you won’t miss anything you don’t know about.
The girl child is taught not to sit with her legs apart and to keep herself adequately covered, so they may not attract attention. There was also a fear that if the girl child discovers her sexuality then the yearning for it will lead her astray. That man will notice and it will lead to sexual abuse. Of course, our men cannot let go of any instance of sexual experience – or so the rape culture of Haryana pontifies. The possibility of such sexual activity is made even more difficult in joint families.
Masturbation has become a significant possibility in today’s time and age
Now that families are becoming nuclear and the woman has the time and space to explore her own body, masturbation has become a significant possibility. When a girl child has the freedom to be on her own, fantasy world, the discovery of pleasure in her own body becomes easier. There is evidence of very small babies enjoying their bodies, without any touching, and of 3-year-old girls using their fingers to pleasure themselves.
Of course, there was my nephew all of 4 who declared that sometimes his penis gets very hard, to a large family gathering, resulting in a guffaw of laughter in the group. As they grow, parents and other elders restrict this free expression and introduce shame and guilt in such a simple natural pleasure.
So many women know nothing of masturbation even after marriage and wonder why they are so unhappy because sex is just a set of actions that seem to make her husband happy and leaves her high and dry.
In early centuries women who were in this state were deemed insane and treated accordingly. This is this the era of information and knowledge and yet women seem to look for all pleasure from their man, not realising that it’s all in their own hands! Here are some reasons why all women, whether married or not, must masturbate.
1. The best way to ensure the HQ
The Happiness Quotient is ensured by masturbation, in both men and women. Sex is a sure shot way to get an orgasm for a man. Not so for a woman. She has to know her body, find out what turns her on and what ensures an orgasm. Masturbation is the right way for a woman to discover her happiness, with or without her man.
2. Keeps your body healthy
I always encourage women to have sex or at least to. It is as good as a good workout but for your sexual organs. An orgasm ensures blood to flow into the vagina, the uterus and the fallopian tubes. If you study the construction of this delicate reproductive apparatus – the uterus is very precariously poised on a stem connected to even more fragile fallopian tubes and the ovaries. These organs need a good flow of blood and nervous energy all of which is ensured by an orgasm. So I say, get a busy woman and brush off the cobwebs!
3. Heightens sex life
Women who masturbate and have different ways to tune their bodies for the best orgasm all on their own have better sex lives with their partners. A little help from the woman can help the man decipher what can make a woman reach her peaks of pleasure. If she is clueless then it’s an uphill task for a man to find out what will get her in the zone. Also, many a partner derives great satisfaction and joy in seeing his woman going into delirious throes of an orgasm. It’s a sense of satisfaction even victory and turns on the man.
4. Helps you discover new erogenous zones
A woman needs to do extra homework to find her erogenous zones. When masturbating you can chance upon what really makes you happy. If you have a partner excited about helping you discover these – all the better. There are an array of sex toys that can help you with this discovery. I must warn you that these can be addictive and you cannot expect your man to be a machine! Explore and find your own G spot so you can guide your man to it, doubling the pleasure in bed.
5. Keeps frustrations away
When my husband had to go away for a year on work, I kept myself busy with a lot of work, hobbies and self-satisfying masturbation. I wonder what it is about hormones that demand this release. From childhood to my early teens I was a wholesome person with no sexual inclinations, but now if I know I am going to be starved of sex, I go into a massive tizzy and have tantrums, teary sulk sessions not realising that the answer is between my legs!
6. Unblocks your mind to new avenues of happiness
I have a stand that I take with all young ones – get sex out of the way, your mind unblocks and sets you free to discover your goals and achieve. You don’t need to have a regular sex partner for that. Just masturbate, keep the cobwebs in your mind away and you will get the energy to follow your dreams in life!
Both men and women must find their choice way of pleasuring themselves without the help of a mate. This will help in keeping their physical, mental and sexual health, vibrant and happy.