To tell your parents you have a girlfriend seems like a mission, especially if you have been raised in a protective environment. But then, if you are dating and are not comfortable keeping secrets from your parents, you will feel as if you are betraying them.
When you are in a serious relationship, you feel like telling the entire world that you are in one. You want to post cute pictures on social media and tag each other in cute posts. You are happy and you want to share it with your friends and family. But all those feelings get suppressed and you feel this pit in your stomach when you think about telling your parents.
And that’s when you start to think about ways that you can break the news of having a girlfriend to your parents without much ado. That’s exactly where we are going to help you.
Dating When You Have Strict Parents
Dating when you have strict parents is like feeling like a thief in your own house. You can’t text or call your girlfriend without the entire house noticing you and you feel like you’re being constantly monitored. Not to forget those bunch of lies that you have to tell to cover all those dates.
Dating when you have strict parents becomes a big ordeal as you constantly delete your girlfriend’s texts and clear your call logs.
Late night conversations are a big no-no. Even having a friend who is a girl raises suspicion. Strict parents are all about rules and regulations. If you’re caught, you’re dead.
To tell your parents you have a girlfriend can be a nightmare for some men as well. Some parents feel that relationships are a bad influence and can distract you from your important commitments. They don’t want you to feel used and heartbroken.
For your parents, there’s never a right age to start dating. It’s because they also feel insecure about another person taking up an important place in your life. The fear of their little boy becoming all grown-up so fast also haunts them and activates their protective instincts.
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10 Ways To Tell Your Parents You Have A Girlfriend
So, how to tell your parents you have a girlfriend? Actually, there’s never a right or a wrong time to tell your parents about your girlfriend. Their reaction will be pretty much the same no matter when you tell them. This is because parents begin to prepare themselves for this day since your childhood. They have a speech ready for the time when their son tells them that he is in love. So, it all depends on how sure you are about the girl. If you feel that she’s becoming an integral part of your life and makes you happy, your parents should know about her. They should know that you’ve chosen someone really great and that they have nothing to worry about when it comes to your relationship. Here are 10 ways to tell your parents you have a girlfriend.
1. Introduce her as your friend
Imagine yourself not telling your parents about the existence of your girlfriend and suddenly dropping a bomb that you have one. It is not going to go well. You need to first introduce her as a friend and let them know that she exists in the first place.
Let them interact with her and get to know her as your friend first. Your parents will be more open to knowing her when they know that she is your friend. Introducing her first as your girlfriend will activate their protective instincts and there is a possibility for them to react negatively to it.
2. Start dropping hints
Start dropping hints to your parents that she is close to you by including her in your conversations. “Rachel brought me soup when I told her I was sick“, is a subtle yet effective way of dropping hints. It shows that Rachel cares for you and is a close friend. Your parents will like the fact that someone is there to take care of you in their absence. This will also make them more comfortable will her presence and will give a positive idea about her.
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3. Show that you’re doing well in life
Most parents fear that having a girlfriend/boyfriend will hamper their son’s/daughter’s studies/work/ideals and ambitions. You need to make sure that none of your personal and professional goals are being hampered because of your relationship.
Try becoming more productive instead. Do all the things that you excel in and take up more projects if possible. This will show that your girlfriend is having a positive influence on you and you can balance your relationship with all your other chores. When you tell them about the relationship, they will see that they have nothing to worry about.
4. Tell your girlfriend about it first
Tell your girlfriend that you are considering telling your parents about your relationship. Ask her whether she is comfortable with it. If she is comfortable with it and thinks that it is a good idea, ask her for suggestions. She can give you advice on how to approach your parents and can even help you to prepare for it.
If she has already told her parents about you then she can give you pointers and will also assure you that there’s nothing to worry about.
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5. Talk to them in private
Try talking to them when there are no judgemental relatives around. Imagine yourself telling your parents that you have a girlfriend, in front of them, and them passing comments about how bad dating was for their children.
Pick a day and time when none of your relatives are around. This is about you and only the opinions of your parents should matter when it comes to relationships. Ask them to listen to your point of view and they will understand.
6. Be respectful to them
When you are breaking news like this, it is important to be respectful to your parents. It is normal for them to react negatively to the news as it will take them time to get used to the fact that you have someone else in your life now. Talk to them in an empathetic voice and help them understand how important this relationship is to you.
Show them how much importantly their feelings and reactions matter to you.
7. Keep it simple
You don’t need to prepare a long and elaborate speech to tell them about your relationship. Simple things are most effective. Just tell them about how you two know each other and how it started. “Hey dad, I wanted to talk to you about something. You know Amita, she’s actually my girlfriend. I really like her. She makes me happy.” Tell them about how the relationship makes you feel and how much it meant to tell them about it.
8. Remind them that they were once your age
If you see your entire plan going south, ask them to remember that they were once your age. They obviously are being protective because they don’t want you to make the same mistakes that they made when they were young.
But you need to make them realize that people learn from their mistakes and this may not be one of them. At your age dating is normal and they need to let you also experience it.
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9. Ask them how they feel about it
It is normal for parents to react negatively when they find out about their son’s relationship. Getting used to something like this takes time. Ask them how they feel about your relationship. Be open to criticism.
How they feel about it will help you understand the amount of effort that you and your girlfriend will need to put in to show them that she’s the right one for you. Take their criticism as pointers to work on so that you can change those negatives into positives.
10. Don’t force them to accept it
If your parents don’t react well to your relationship, don’t feel bad or get mad at them. You need to give them time to accept it. You need to understand that they don’t know your girlfriend like you do and letting someone else into their lives is a big step. Don’t force them to accept the relationship. Instead, arrange occasions for your girlfriend to meet your parents and get them to know her better. Once they know her, all their fears about the relationship will slowly start to diminish.
If you’ve told your parents about the relationship and are planning for her to meet them, make sure that you prep her well. You don’t want to unwillingly create a bad impression of her. Make sure she knows all about your parents and is prepared for what is to come. If your parents are against the relationship, don’t act out.
Understand their perspective and know that they have a right to feel this way. Step into their shoes and think about it. Give them time to wrap this news around their heads and they will eventually come around.