21 Ways You Are Unconsciously Saying “I Love You” To Your SO

Love and Romance | | , Content Strategist
love you to significant other

There’s a love that runs beyond the boundaries of our conscious mind, the kind of love that our heart expresses without much control over itself. The kind of love that feels wholesome yet unaware of its existence. The one where you are unconsciously saying I love you to your better half every time you are with them.

‘I love you’ – the most complex phrase for the simplest emotion among humankind. You tend to love every person you build an attachment with but the expression or recognition of it does not come easy in the romantic sphere. There are many ways people say I love you without saying I love you. You cannot really put a finger on one because every person holds different unconscious love signals.

Can You Be Unconsciously In Love?

When you have a repressed feeling in your heart for someone, and it doesn’t let you sleep, then surely, love can be unconscious. It is expressed via dreams, desires, fears, impulses, and emotions; everything that stays boxed inside you while you are still exploring your truth.

Related Reading: 10 Signs From The Universe That Love Is Coming Your Way

You ask – What does it mean to deeply love someone? It could be an impulse to protect a certain someone from everything that might harm them and take care of them without another thought. Like Jon Snow did for Ygritte in The Game of Thrones. Even when someone doesn’t say it outright, the body language signs someone is in love are unmissable. These signs are how we say I love you but not say I love you in these exact words. Basically, it’s an ultimate way of unconsciously saying I love you to your partner or crush.

21 Ways You Are Unconsciously Saying “I Love You” To Your SO

Subconscious love means the love your heart is yet to accept. You know that you care, but expressing your care in a romantic sense to that person is the most difficult thing for you. Unconsciously saying I love you is sometimes a defense mechanism for some to protect themselves from getting hurt. But when it comes to love, it has a way of spilling out, which is why there are ways people say I love you without saying I love you.

1. You stand by them despite everything

You know how Augustus Waters and Hazel Grace stood by each other in the movie, The Fault In Our Stars? They didn’t really have a choice but to live the little love they could siphon from destiny. As you begin to do something for someone despite the odds, that’s when you are unconsciously saying I love you to your significant other. Somehow, you cannot deny the butterflies brimming in your stomach – these butterflies are the body language signs someone is in love!

2. You want to start new traditions with them

You always write a handwritten letter to resolve a fight, or have your morning coffee with them on a video call. You begin to start the smallest of traditions with them in order to feel belongingness and exclusivity, in order to say I love you but not say I love you.

Related Reading: How To Show Someone You Love Them?

3. Even messed up dates are fun with them

The florist chose the wrong flowers to be sent over, your car broke down, you’re late, and yet, you do not lose the charm of the date. The messiest of days turn out to be fun and enjoyable with your significant other because it’s the company that matters. They can see that they bring joy to you even when things are chaotic. They can see what you can’t express.

4. You want to know their love language

One true reality check is when you wish to know more about their expression of love, and how they wish to be loved. You begin to show interest in their interests and what they like while learning about how they feel cherished and safe. Learning their love language for conveying your unsaid feelings will just be easier.

5. You try to stay close

In order to spot the body language signs someone is in love, your subconscious feelings surface when you try to stay physically close to the person you love. Subconscious love means a feeling that remains in the corners of your heart, suppressed yet thriving. You may say I love you but not say I love you by just getting close to your girl/guy to win them over like Will chose to stay with Stella in Five Feet Apart even at the farthest distance he could.

Related Reading: 25 Free Date Ideas To Keep The Love Growing

6. You make more eye contact

When you tend to feel comfortable with someone, you end up not feeling scared of the vulnerability that surrounds your heart. You tend to make more eye contact with them since you are honest with them at all times. Everything that your eyes hold in those loving gazes is a way of unconsciously saying I love you.

7. You tell them you admire them

What does it mean to deeply love someone? It is when you admire them openly and praise their good traits with affection. You admire the way they look too. You pause to admire that smudged ice cream across their lips or the candy floss on their nose before you actually tell them. One of the most unconscious love signals is when you begin to admire your partner when they are asleep, cooking, or even lazing around in their sweatpants with a messy bun.

8. They are the first to know everything

The news might be as insignificant as an argument with your colleague, something as intimate as your dog getting sick, or a major achievement in your professional life, you’ll wish to share it with your subconscious love. Keeping your significant other on priority is one of the ways people say I love you without saying I love you.

9. You value their opinions for future plans

Whether you plan to buy a car, a house, or something as generic as what you’ll wear to your sister’s wedding, you wish to know their opinion on everything. You make sure that you ask them what they think about the little to big things that impact you. This is how you are unconsciously saying I love you.

10. You’re extremely comfortable with them

You’ve reached a point where you do not think much before expressing your true self. It feels okay to not dress up for some meetups or video call them with your early morning bloated face. This comfort that you feel with your significant other is one of the unconscious love signals.

Related Reading: 10 Cute Things A Man Will Do Once He Is Comfortable With You

11. You begin to embrace their flaws

Instead of teasing them about what they eat and how they laugh, you begin to love their ‘flaws’. If they prefer to have their chili chicken with mint sauce, well, you’re okay with that too. In fact, over time, you begin to like the taste of it. Amidst the ways, people say I love you without saying I love you, this has to be the sweetest one of them.

12. You completely get over your ex

Whether you randomly see them at that local market you used to sneak around to avoid their face, or at a common friend’s birthday, it no longer makes a difference to you. It might not be easy to get over your someone you see everyday but your significant other makes you do that. You do not feel affected by their impromptu appearance or disappearance in your life and you also get over stalking them online. This is one of the clear unconscious love signals of how you are in love with your significant other.

13. You crave intimacy more than sex

Instead of just being focused on sex, you are more into the intimacy you get to share with your significant other. If you are more inclined towards the gestures of love than the craving for sex, then you surely love your significant other. To name a few, you love the cuddles, sleeping in each other’s arms, or simply holding hands with your partner, making an unconscious call for love.

Related Reading: 8 Ways To Know Whether He Loves You Or Is Into It Just For Sex

14. You tell them every time something reminds you of them

So, what does it mean to deeply love someone and not even know it? The moment your taste buds savor something delicious, you wonder if your significant other would like it too, and you text them that you’d want to visit the place with them. You watch it pour down heavily outside your office window and you wonder how beautiful it would’ve been had you been with that one person to share your love for the rains with. You tell them you await a chai-pakoda session with them the next time it rains. All of these are signs you unconditionally love your partner.

15. You’re not anxious about getting hurt

That feeling in your heart that grips your mind of whether or not this will end well, if it’s gonna be just another episode to your heartbreak diaries, well, that feeling does not exist in your world. You are so sure about how this is something beautiful that you tend to grow comfortable in your skin with them, forgetting all about how you need to acknowledge your love for them in the first place. This surety that you express to your person with your adorable gestures and late-night talks is you unconsciously saying I love you to them.

16. Things you usually hate seem okay now, even fun

You never really liked to watch romantic comedies like 27 Dresses or PS I Love You but damn, now you binge-watch them with your partner because somehow you begin to develop a liking for them. They’re pleasantly surprised at this change too. In fact, now you only make plans for movie nights that showcase your unconscious love for your significant other.

17. They’re the ‘something good’ you think about when the going gets tough

On the days when everything seems to fall apart, you wish they were here to take it all away from you with a hug. In an unrealistic way, you believe they are your hero that might even trigger the heroic instinct in men and somehow they will make the day turn better. Often, when you are overwhelmed with this feeling, a simple text to them saying “I wish you were here” keeps your love rolling. When they are actually there for you, it means the world to you. When they sit next to you, notice how you lean into them, how you long to hold their hand, or how you reach out to them. This is one of the body language signs someone is in love.

18. You are okay being vulnerable with them

You feel comfortable eating your food with your hands or licking the remains out of the bowl of Maggi. They know you don’t do these things with others, so they know they are special to you. You are okay with expressing your deepest fears to them because you completely trust them with your vulnerabilities. They do not make you feel awkward about it and surely do not make you regret it, that is you unconsciously saying I love you.

Related Reading: 9 Tips To Stimulate Vulnerability In Your Relationship

19. You are always there for them

Of course! No matter where you are, how busy you might be, or how consumed your day is, you are always there for them when they need you. They know they can rely on you too. That thought of supporting them in their time of need resides in your heart as a responsibility and an act of love which is one of the ways people say I love you without saying I love you.

20. You’d rather stay in and do nothing with them

Sometimes it is not about dressing up and going to a fancy place, sometimes a good movie and a bowl of Maggi or popcorn is all you need to make it into a fun weeknight date. You dearly appreciate the company of your significant other, so these privacy settings are a lot more intimate for you. You are unconsciously saying I love you by simply enjoying their company, no matter where you are.

21. You plan your future with them

You are silently wondering if your mother would like them or if your brother would enjoy hanging out with them. You even tell them about the things they can do to keep themselves in the good books of your family. Then trust me, you are unconsciously in love with your significant other. You should definitely consider this to be an unconscious love signal specifically if the baby names have already been discussed, even if casually.

It takes time to realize you love someone. But somehow, that’s not the case with your subconscious mind, because your heart truly knows what you don’t – and that’s the subconscious love meaning that lives within you.


1. Is love conscious or subconscious?

Truth be told, before we know it, love does take hold of our subconscious brain. Though day-to-day life can make us unaware of this feeling, that’s what subconscious love means. It’s a feeling that persists in your heart, even if it isn’t completely accepted by your heart.

2. Can one show signs of love unconsciously?

One can definitely show body language signs someone is in love. These signs may not be visible to you but they show up in your silent actions and the little things you do for your partner or crush.

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