What To Talk About On A First Date?

what to talk about on a first date

So, Cupid’s arrow has finally struck you, and voila, she has agreed to a first date. But is it a classic beginning to your love tale? Yes, if you hit the right spot with your first date conversations, you can begin the process of translating that palpable chemistry into a long-lasting relationship. This brings us to the million-dollar question: What to talk about on a first date?

Talking to someone you like may sound easy at first, but still one of the greatest challenges many men like you face on a first date is making good ‘conversation’. They fear rejection and find it difficult to open up with their date. Not to mention, the pressure of saying the right things or not saying the wrong ones can leave even the glibbest talkers tongue-tied.

As a result, you end up coming across as clueless in the art of conversing on the first date.

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13 First Date Conversation Tips

Did you know saying the right things at the right time can help you base your relationship on truth and honesty, and draw you both in sync with each other? What you say on the first date sets the tone for the rest of the relationship.

It also determines how your date perceives you and shapes your first impression. So avoid making any first date mistakes and have some conversation starters ready to keep her engaged and make it a good one! Conversations are so crucial; it makes many men wonder what does one talk about on a first date? Should you be serious or funny? Is it okay to crack jokes? Or should you aim to come across as a good listener?

There is no constant for engaging conversations, but still, there are some basics, which if followed, can turn first dates into many more potential dates and a successful relationship. What to talk about on a first date can be dizzying to think of but don’t worry we have your back. Follow these first date conversation tips and thank us later:

Related Reading: 55+ Flirty First Date Questions | Jaw-Dropping List of 2021

1. Approach it like a friend

All great relationships start with friendship, including ‘your potential date’. So, while you may be feeling like a nervous wreck from within, try to ease the situation by thinking of it as meeting a friend. This will ease you from within and bring your inner self out more easily.

Give her great company; nurture her interest in you with interesting conversations.

A tip: Don’t just throw a volley of questions at her. Be curious, and make it an enjoyable exchange of thoughts between you both. Your first date conversation should not be monopolized by you. Be open to hearing her out and think of good follow-up questions to keep the conversation flowing.

first date conversation
Talk to her as a friend

2. Don’t punctuate the first few minutes with an awkward silence

Nervousness is natural, and your date too must be feeling it too. But, don’t let it ruin your first date. Instead, take the casual route and keep it ‘light’ for both of you. You can start simply by sharing your interests and then ask them to share something ‘unique’ about themselves.

Try to engage her in a free-flowing exchange for a pleasant date evening ahead.

A tip: Don’t pry into personal aspects of her life like past relationships and keep the conversation free from any judgments. It would be better if your first date conversation topics did not include anything really intrusive or personal. Keeping it light is key!

Related Reading: How to date a friend?

3. Make eye contact while talking to her

Many men fail to maintain the desired eye contact while chatting with their date. Either they are nervous or they don’t want to intimidate the date. But hey, don’t be so self-conscious that you end up ruining the experience for both her and yourself.

A lot of men express their interest in their date through quality eye contact. If you’re one of them, it’s definitely something you shouldn’t miss out on. Look into her eyes as you talk. She will love that.

While doing so, also shift your focus from eye to eye. This creates the desired sparkle and expresses your involvement and interest in the date. Don’t stare at her creepily though. Instead, show her that you are interested and willing to engage.

first date conversation tips
Look into her eyes

4. Listen to her with great interest

Believe it or not, women love men who are great listeners. Listening to her actively will earn you brownie points, as it’ll help her feel natural and comfortable in your company. You may use this tip to express your genuine interests in her life and know her better. Use some fun get-to-know-me questions to keep the conversation sizzling so you know each other better by the time you say your goodbyes.

Acknowledge her words with ‘umms’, ‘yeah’, ‘is it?’ at appropriate moments and keep the conversation flow natural. Don’t interrupt her in between! Instead, summarize what she said in one sentence, like “Relocating to a new city must be challenging” or “Your life at work sounds very interesting.”

If you have had similar experiences, then you must wait for her to finish. Later, you may add up your version and give your conversation a healthy flow.

5. Ease her out with her ‘favorites’

‘Favorites’ is an engaging and fun ice-breaker for a first date. Your first date conversation topics are sorted with this simple game. Everybody has their favorites and the topic can act as a savior to make your first date engaging and happening. Share an interesting anecdote about your favorite food or hobby and then ask them their faves to keep the conversation light and fun.

This would help you explore more about her personality. And who knows, if you both share your interests over food, then you may spend some time savoring a dessert or a delicacy together on the very first date.

Related Reading: 20 Valuable Tips For A First Date After Meeting Online

6. Engage with their travel favorites

Travel is on the wish list of every millennial. We all harbor our desires to visit one dream destination. You may ask your date about it and see how she gets into the groove of the conversation. You will instantly see a twinkle in her eyes and notice her overcome with an animated excitement just at the mere mention of dream destinations.

Besides, almost everybody has had a memorable trip in their lives. Share an interesting or a goofy incident from your travels and share a great laugh. The idea is to get her talking and enjoy your company. Your first date conversation starters must include something about traveling or asking your date about her favorite trip. Travel stories are fun to listen to and are often filled with interesting incidents.

7. Reciprocate her questions openly

The millennial folks encourage frank exchanges and if you are on a first date with a woman, this tip may come in handy for you. Women these days are assertive and would like to know what’s going on in the mind of their date.

How to talk to women and impress them is about being involved in the conversation and speaking your own mind too. So, if she asks you a question, be honest and confident in your answers. If she asks you about what you like about your dreams, then expressing your heart out will make her gain some interesting insights about you, which is great.

8. Engage her with your sense of humor

If you have a good sense of humor, then don’t be afraid to show it. There is no better ice breaker than laughter. Everybody likes a person who has a good sense of humor. Tell her a funny story; discuss a funny incident at work or in your life or crack a joke or two. Laugh with her. Help her loosen up a little bit in your company.

Chances are that if she enjoys her first date she would want a second. Just be careful not to go overboard with your jokes or to crack inappropriate ones! Add this to your first date conversation tips and you will be all set to sweep her off her feet!

first date conversation starters
Make her laugh

9. Understand her ambitious side

Still wondering what to talk about on a first date? Well, the list is not over. To really get to know her better, you must tap into her ambitious side. A modern woman always appreciates a man who acknowledges her talents and ambitions.

When you are dating an independent woman, she would love to share her hopes and dreams with you. So, why not let her know that you’re invested in that aspect of her life on the first date itself. Your doing so will make her feel valued, and that’s why this is one of the best first date conversation starters that you cannot go wrong with.

It opens up the chance for you to understand her and also talk about your own dreams and see how similar they are to each other.

10. Talk about her best friend/or mutual friends

Another one of the best first date conversation topics is to ask her about her best friends. This one really works well because it’s not too invasive a topic. Neither is it too generic to be boring. Everybody has a best friend and they love to tell others how crazy he/she is!

If you both have mutual friends, then this could be another reason to connect with each other on your first date. You can start with, “So how do you know him/her?” It helps you both connect over a common person, and bridge the gap with a safe topic.

A tip: But don’t let the mutual friends dominate your date.

Related Reading: Why every girl needs a guy best friend

11. Don’t risk the date with cheesy pick-up lines

Pick-up lines can go wrong, even with the Casanovas. And if you are nervous on your first date, avoid the prospect of using a pick-up line on your date at all costs. In your nervous attempts to salvage the date that may not be going well at least in your mind, you may end up saying something that puts her off completely.

The pick-up lines are a tricky territory and the thing with them is that they can very quickly make your date go wrong. These may also backfire if you are not comfortable and confident while using such unbearable chat-up lines. So, avoid it to be on the safer side.

12. Bond over bad date stories

Everybody has their share of date gone wrong experiences. And in the age of Tinder and dating apps, the horrendous dating encounters continue for both men and women. Turns out, if you have such funny, silly stories; you can share it with your date, and laugh a little.

Related Reading: How to date on Tinder?

13. Thank her for a memorable date

Whether you enjoyed her company or not, graciously acknowledge the time spent together during the date. If you want to block the next date, you can lock the plan before bidding adieu. Either way, you must tell her that you had a really great time and her company made your evening much, much better. That is the key to being a real gentleman!

art of wooing


As per our Bonobology relationship experts, first date conversations can stir up curiosity on both sides and give her a sense that you could be ‘the one’. Your first impression can indeed be a lasting one. So if you’re worried about what to talk about on a first date, you must tread that path carefully to avoid any faux pas.

Use these first date conversation topics to make your date as memorable as ever.

FAQs

1. What should you never say on a first date?

Try not to use any cheesy pick-up lines or have any dark conversations from your past. Avoid talking about your ex-flames too as this could easily give the wrong idea that you may still be hung up on them.

2. What are good questions to ask on a first date?

Ask about her friends, her job, where she sees herself in 5 years, her favorite books, what movies she likes and other simple yet engaging topics.

3. How can I impress my first date?

By working your conversation like a charmer. Yes, the key to a great first date is fascinating conversation. If you really want to impress her, put the effort into what you say to her and how you conduct your responses.

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