Have you ever found yourself zoning out while staring at your crush, lost in your daydream of a scenario where you’d both be drinking one milkshake with two straws, and then quickly acting like you were looking elsewhere when they caught you? Developing feelings for someone can be an exciting and nervy affair. Part of the fun (read: anxiety) is when you’re trying to figure out if the feelings are mutual. So, when you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too? And if they do, how can you tell?
No, the answer doesn’t lie in how they “heart react” to every message you send them or how they respond to your stories (although they are definitely positive signs). Intense attraction signs will often be a lot less ambiguous.
When you’re feeling drawn to someone, the only thing you want to know is if they feel the same way about you. So, when you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too? If you know what signs to look for, you can figure out in no time if they feel the same way or if they’d prefer a night of Netflix and ice cream over you.
When You Feel Attracted To Someone, Do They Feel It Too?
It could be that person you met through a dating app, a friend you’ve known for a while or someone who you were introduced to at a social gathering. Feeling magnetically drawn to someone will leave you daydreaming about going on dates with this person, trying to be their personal stand-up comedian just to make them laugh.
Here’s a tip though: don’t overthink your comedy routine yet. It’ll be of no use when you end up nervously babbling about your hobbies on your first date. Anna tells us about how she overthought the question, “When you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too?” and ended up hurting her chances because of it.
“I met someone through an art class I recently joined, and he definitely saw me staring at him on more than one occasion. I tried to calm my anxiety and spoke with him a couple of times, all the while thinking to myself, “Does he feel the same connection?”
“I didn’t even know it was possible to feel a strong connection with someone I barely know. When he returned my gaze with a smile one fine day, I thought I was in! I sent him cryptic flirts on Instagram but to no avail. I assumed the energetic connection I had cooked up in my own head would be enough to kickstart a romantic journey. It wasn’t,” she says.
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When Anna hopefully asked herself, “I’m so obsessed with him, does he feel it too?”, she let her wishful thinking take hold and ended up assuming that he did. Unfortunately for her, things didn’t go too well. To make sure you don’t end up like Anna and that there’s a first, second and third date (fingers crossed!), you need to be able to tell if they fancy you as much as you fancy them.
So, when you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too? Or could it just be all in your head? Let’s get into the 7 surefire signs that tell us the feelings are mutual and the multiple date scenarios you’ve made up in your head might one day become a reality:
1. When you’re feeling attracted to someone, the conversation flows smoothly
One of the biggest intense attraction signs is when the conversations you two have with each other don’t feel like interrogations and are naturally fun. Even if you’re texting, you won’t have to overthink every reply, trying to find the optimum balance between witty and charming. You won’t be overthinking things like how to keep a conversation going.
You’ll say what comes to your mind, without being too worried about if what you’re saying is lame or not, and you won’t be memorizing topics of conversation before you go see this person. To try and assess if this happens to you, take note of the next phone/face-to-face conversation you have with this person.
Compare that to when you weren’t attracted to them or when you had just met them. You’ll notice there’s a significant change in the way you two talk to each other. Don’t ponder over, “I’m having so much fun in this conversation, does s/he feel it too?” and focus on enjoying the conversation as much as you can.
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2. They’re interested in getting to know you
What happens when you feel attracted to someone? You’d like to get to know everything about this person, right? Their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their favorite haunts, the way their voice breaks when they get excited.
You’ll see a noticeable interest from the other person in getting to know you as well. Your conversations won’t just be centered around them. They’ll ask you questions to get to know you better and you’ll feel more than comfortable sharing details about yourself (please don’t share your Netflix password, you’re not there yet).
Feeling magnetically drawn to someone inclines you toward getting to know the person better. If you’re trying to answer the question, “When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?”, take note of how interested they are in getting to know you.
3. You’re both happy in each other’s company
If you have a gut feeling someone is attracted to you, you’ll be certain of it if you see it translated on their face. Think of your professional meetings and conversations with clients/colleagues. In those conversations, there’s no denying that most of you wish for it to end as soon as possible, right? That’s pretty much what all of us are thinking the minute we press “mute” on the zoom call.
But when you’re conversing with someone you like, you’ll notice a sudden lift in your mood and theirs as well. Without doing anything together, you’ll end up having a better time than you do with most other people.
If their smiles have got you thinking you’re the funniest person on earth, you need to know that you currently have an easy-to-please crowd, because they’re already gaga over you. So, if you’ve been wondering about, “When you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too?”, your friends can probably tell you that by the amount of fake laughing this person does around you.
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4. If you like someone, can they feel it through your body language?
Nothing on this list answers the question, “When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?”, better than noticing their body language. The next time you’re with this person, pay attention to their body language. You’ll get way more information than you ever thought possible, without even listening to what they’re saying (make sure you do notice what they’re saying though, you don’t want them to feel like they’re talking to themselves).
Think about this – what do you feel when you’re attracted to someone? You feel happy with them, you long for them, and you want to make a great impression when you’re with them, right? If they feel the same, it’ll be obvious through how they conduct themselves. Look out for signs like blushing cheeks, an inviting stance (un-crossed arms and legs, eye contact, standing close to each other) and things like dilated pupils.
You might end up creepily staring into their eyes for that last one, but the others will be pretty easy to spot. And if you’re wondering something along the lines of, “I feel a strong connection with someone I barely know”, you can tell if it’s mutual by the way they look and smile at you. The difference between a cordial smile and one that’s inviting you to have a conversation will make itself apparent.
5. There will be hints of sexual tension when you’re feeling drawn to someone
If you’re a few weeks/months into your crush and have a gut feeling someone is attracted to you, you may notice mild hints of sexual tension. A lingering gaze, a flirtatious remark, or physical contact are all signs of mutual attraction. However, it’s important to note that if you’re in the nascent stages of your crush, you won’t see many glaring signs of sexual tension.
So, if you’re thinking, “I feel a strong connection with someone I barely know, will I see signs of sexual tension?”, the answer is, no, you won’t. Sometimes, sexual attraction take a while to build up. It all depends on how comfortable you are with each other and what scenario you see each other in. If you’re both colleagues, we hope for the sake of your jobs that you’ve kept a lid on the flirting and the physical contact while at work.
On the other hand, if you’re next-door neighbors, you’re probably always kidding around about calling each other over. And once you do manage to call the other over, the dinner date is probably going to involve a lot of flirting. It just goes to show, “If you like someone, can they feel it too?” is a question that’s only going to be answered if you dare to find out.
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6. You copy each other
This sign might be harder for you to catch, simply because you’re so lost in this person’s eyes (and you’re also trying to flirt with your eyes) but it’ll be clear as day for the people around you. You’ll both start talking similarly, you’ll move your hands the same way, you’ll copy each other’s tones, you’ll start liking the same things.
Unbeknownst to you, you may have adopted the high-pitched tone this person talks in when they’re excited/laughing. The way you roll your eyes when you hear something lame isn’t uniquely yours anymore, it’s something this person has adopted as well.
“I stopped asking myself, “Does he feel the same connection?”, when he started copying the way I talk sometimes. In the break room, he’d mock the high-pitched tone I talk in sometimes. Even though he was kidding around, I knew I felt a connection with him,” Joleen told us.
Pretty soon after they started talking, Joleen stopped asking herself the question, “When you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?” since her colleague, Matt, surprised her by asking her out. If you’re copying each other’s nuances like so, you don’t even need to ask, “When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?” And yes, get ready for a lot of teasing and good-natured ribbing from friends who have picked up on these signs.
7. You can just feel something brewing
The best answer to the question, “When you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?”, is the gut feeling that someone is attracted to you. You might even be lying to yourself by ignoring the signs of interest, but deep down, you’ll know if they like you or not.
In most cases, you can probably gauge from their general demeanor toward you whether they’re interested in you or not. When you’re feeling attracted to someone, you don’t act cold in front of them, do you? Similarly, if they’re feeling drawn to someone, chances are they’re going to be on their best behavior.
Are they indifferent? Or does their face light up when they see you? Chances are, you know the answer already. You might even be reading this article since you’re too scared to ask them out. If you’re convinced there are signs of mutual attraction, just go for it!
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With the signs we listed out for you, we hope you can now comfortably answer the question, “When you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?” If, unfortunately, the signs aren’t there, well, at least now you know better than to let infatuation take hold of you and drift off into a land of daydreaming. On the other hand, if the signs all seem positive, congratulations, you’ve just found yourself someone to share a day-old Chinese takeaway with in the future.
By noticing the signs of attraction in body language or in their demeanor, you will be able to tell if someone finds you attractive. Around you, their body language will be more open and inviting, they will want to get within close proximity of you and they’ll always try to initiate physical contact.
You’ll be able to tell if there’s a spark between you two if you feel chemistry establishing in your dynamic and if you two can have free-flowing conversations, among other signs. The other signs of a spark include displaying a genuine interest in getting to know each other and feeling authentic happiness in the presence of this person.