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“Why do I attract married men?” This is a question she usually asks accompanied by a dramatic eye roll. Barking up the wrong tree has shaken her confidence. After two unsuccessful attempts to find an eligible bachelor and ending up in the company of married monsters, she read a lot to find out how to identify married men with accuracy.
She consulted several relationship experts who offered ingenious tricks to dig up the correct marital status of a man before seeing him. She discussed it with her friends who suggested nothing better than the trial and error method. At the end of it, she was left wondering: “For god’s sake, why do I attract so many married men? Why do I attract unavailable guys?”
Related Reading: What I Learned From My Affair With A Married Man
5 Reasons Why You Attract Married Men
If you are thinking, “Why do married guys flirt with me?” then have you ever thought that you might be giving out the wrong signals r maybe mixed signals. But it’s that you are responsible for a married man hitting on you all the time. But if a guy with a steady girlfriend is showing signs of liking you, then these reasons could be there.
1.You show you are looking for friendship
If you have also found yourself in a similar situation where a married man has been hitting on yu, it is time to rethink how to proceed with men. The lack of seriousness pans out to be a big advantage for men-folk. As the woman is keen on friendship alone and wants to keep it restricted to that, he finds plenty of time to play games and impress her.
His charming personality melts her heart and she does not realise how quickly she goes weak in the knees. Even if she keeps repeating that she is just checking him out, she is already emotionally hitched.
She does not convey it yet, but through her expressions and submissive behaviour she makes it fairly clear that she finds him irresistible.
2. Married man single woman syndrome – playing it safe
Needless to say her hourglass frame, her pretty face, her chirpy demeanor, but there is something more.
From her point of view, she wants to play safe all the way. She does not want to give him the chance to think she is seriously exploring the possibility of a long-term relationship. This is something married men cash in on.
While doing so, she cannot keep herself emotionally detached and this is how things get complicated. She ends up hurting herself more when she comes to know at a much later stage that he is already married.
The long period of courtship shatters her but for the man it is good fun all the way. Without any commitment, he derives all the benefits of friendship. Exactly what he was looking for. Wasn’t he?
While the woman keeps thinking, “Why do I attract married men?” the man keeps thinking, “Why do single women find me so attractive?” and with a broad smile.
3. A no-strings attached relationship feels like fun to you
You keep thinking, “Why do married guys flirt with me?” then the whole no-strings attached relationship seems like an exciting idea. Married men are aware that single women find their wealth and experience in bed exciting, so they cash in on that.
Many single women enjoy this momentary excitement and no-strings attached fun. There’s expensive holidays, fine dining dates and great action between the sheets. In this debate between dating vs relationship, you just choose some fun dating and married men are aware of that.
Related Reading: 7 Ways To Handle A Married Man Flirting With You
4. The whole relationship is fuzzy, and you are ok with it
When she realises her mistake, she cannot blame him for hiding the truth of his marital status. It was never discussed as she did not want to let him think she was planning something life-long.
She did not want to raise his hopes or encourage him because she feared men are emotionally reckless and cannot handle rejection. They often end up hurting themselves or causing harm to others in case they are dumped. She wanted to have the moral advantage if it did not work out in her favour.
5. You end up giving the wrong impression
You are a successful lady, who smokes and drinks, loves to put the dance floor on fire at a party and you have loads of friends to hang out with. That’s perfectly fine. We believe you should do exactly what makes you happy.
But we bring this up because you could be thinking that why you attract married men. Well, the patriarchal mindset still exists in every society and men do end up thinking that being independent, progressive and fun-loving could also be a signal that you are game to breach the social barriers as well.
So if you like someone whether they are married or single does not really matter to you. That’s why they take their chance. Sometimes some women relent and sometimes some women don’t.
How can I stop attracting unavailable guys?
This should be more the question for a single attractive lady and we are coming to the answer.
Flip the scenario and think what happens if she begins with a clear focus on long-term relationship instead of just checking out the guy. Let a couple of meetings be enough to extract the basic important facts before proceeding further.
There is no harm if he is asked a few straight questions. He has to answer honestly. He cannot talk in circles.
If you still think he cannot be relied upon, seek a valid identity document like passport to know about his spouse or get his address and drop in at his place one fine evening to get the real picture.
All you need is directness in approach, the strength to pose some tough questions and look straight into his eyes to see whether he tries to evade.
You should not suffer for no fault of yours
Why should you waste valuable time and suffer without any fault of yours? You really need to know whether the guy is already hitched or not.
As there are no visible signs of his matrimony dangling from his neck or clinging to his finger or anything smeared right in the middle of his head, it is safer to avoid the married types at the very beginning before you start investing emotionally in the courtship. Apply the rule of prevention to stay safe.
Related Reading: How I Took My Revenge On A Married Man And Became The She-Devil
Why are you a target for married men?
Married men are more focused on their needs and have limited objectives. They are always looking for attractive women and it is not your fault if you appeal to them. You have the right to attract the right kind of men and if the process gets needlessly entangled, it makes sense to chase away the married pests at the outset.
This move does not leave any scope for deception to crop up later. Break-up is possible but you are assured that your suffering is not the outcome of an engagement with a married bloke.
Why married men pursue you
If you are thinking why married men pursue you then you have to realize that there are all kinds of men on the lookout for a relationship with a single, young lady.
This appears slightly intricate if you are okay with exploring the possibility of a relationship with the married kind. Particularly the ones who are also looking for a mint fresh relationship after a divorce.
Maybe they have not divorced yet because they do not know whether they can get a suitable partner and so they are continuing with their lifeless marriage as an act of destiny. A brush with the married honcho proves to be a blessing in disguise in such a case.
Related Reading: 6 reasons why you shouldn’t fall for a married man
Dating a married man could be complicated
If a married man confesses he is married but says he is ready to split and remarry in case it works out with her, then it becomes complex because you do not know the kind of parameters he applies to assess you as a potential life partner, the kind of person he is living with and the great expectations he has in mind.
But if he is still married or fighting a divorce case you still get embroiled in his complicated life and the recurring stress of his life would spill into your life too. Dating a married man does come with complications, be aware of that.
So there are a few questions you should ask yourself before you decide to get into a relationship with a married man who is just stepping out of his marriage.
Some women like a married man’s attention
There are some who do not feel outraged if they attract married men. If the married fellow is seriously pursuing her, she is happy to play along as her feminine spirit gets a high. In most of the cases, married men are mature in understanding a woman’s needs.
Some are likely to consider married men are safer options as life partners because they make fewer mistakes after a failed marriage.
Besides, the possibility of a second marital split is much lower due to the age factor. But do you seriously think the man will honestly explain why his previous marriage or the existing one did not click? In all probability, the blame gets shifted to his partner.
Attracting married men is never the intent in the first place and every woman looking for a mate needs to avoid married variants unless she is comfortable with the idea of seeking their pleasurable company. Stop thinking why you attract so many married men and concentrate on building your defence to avoid such entrapment. Here lies the key to happiness during your long, tiring search for an ideal soulmate.
Avoid getting into a relationship with him. If he is still married or fighting a divorce case you still get embroiled in his complicated life and the recurring stress of his life would spill into your life too. Dating a married man does come with complications, be aware of that.
A married man flirts with you because he feels that you are interested in friendship and then eventually some short-term fun. Something that he is looking for.
A married man will woo you but be aware that he is not looking for conversations and candlelight dinners only. He will drop hints in every possible way that he wants to sleep with you.
You cannot really stop them from flirting with you or hitting on you, but at the very outset you can make it clear that you are looking for a long-term relationship and run a background check or ask for validity documents to know if they are married or single.