I got remarried recently. While this is my second marriage, it is the first marriage for my 27-year-old wife. When I had sex with her for the first time, I was shocked to note that my wife had no bleeding. She didn’t at all bleed on the first night.
There was no first night bleeding
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My wife went on to report that she has never had sex before with anyone. How is it that she did not bleed then on the first night, during our first intercourse? If a woman does not bleed on her wedding night what does it mean? Is first night bleeding necessary to prove she is a virgin?
My first wife had bled on the first night in my first marriage when we had sex. I know what first wedding night bleeding is like. I am confused and disturbed that my second wife did not have first night bleeding. Is my second wife a virgin? Please help me. Is it a must that all women will have first night bleeding?
Related Reading: How I Found Out My Boyfriend Was A Virgin
Dear Remarried Man,
Vaginal bleeding isn’t imperative
Vaginal bleeding while having sex for the first time need not necessarily happen even if a woman is a virgin. It is also possible that a woman’s hymen is absent since her birth or that it was ruptured without her knowledge during sports, dancing, athletics or other similar physical activities like horse riding, cycling or acrobatics. So first night bleeding does not happen always. If the hymen is torn, a small quantity of bleeding may take place during the first penetrative sexual intercourse.
Understand female anatomy
The hymen is a thin membrane at the opening of the vagina. It may or may not be present in every girl at birth.
In the case of some girls, the hymen only has few small openings through which menstrual blood comes out. However, in other girls, the hymen is merely a rim of tissue. Sometimes it may also just fold along the walls of the vagina naturally.
Not every virgin girl has the type of hymen that could appear to “pop” with the very first act of penetrative intercourse. This is likely to have caused the bleeding that you have described in the case of your first wife. The hymen may also get torn during masturbation or if a girl uses tampons.
The rupturing of the hymen cannot be regarded as a test of a woman’s virginity or chastity.
Related Reading: 5 Things Men Should Know About A Woman’s Vagina
Love your wife
As there are no means to be sure of your second wife’s virginity, perhaps you could steer your concerns more towards the way you nurture the relationship with your second wife.
Marriages are meant to provide people with companionship, the pleasure of intimacy, sexual expression, a socially sanctioned and legitimate family unit, a life partner and a close friend. This will help your relationship blossom and truly grow as you both evolve as human beings.
Wishing you the best
Aman Bhonsle
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I was definitely a virgin and was shocked and surprised when I went to the doctor before marriage and found out I didn’t have a hymen. I felt so frustrated that I felt like the doctor didn’t believe I was a virgin. I did not even masturbate before marriage. I didn’t know a woman’s hymen can break during sports or anything, or she just might not even have one. Please don’t treat her any differently because a woman can definitely be a virgin and bite have a hymen. The problem is not her not having one. The problem would be if you started disbelieving her and not trusting her. My first time was with my husband on our honeymoon. Just be grateful she could be comfortable. Treat her well. Besides, you weren’t a virgin when you married her. There’s no way to prove if a man is a virgin or if a woman is. People just have to trust each other. That’s what a relationship is about. I didn’t bleed my first time, and I had never done anything with anyone in my life besides my husband.
Believe her.
Hello Pikaje, We completely agree to you! Trust is one of the most important pillars in marriage.