Married Life

Here’s how to flirt when you’re already married

Some tips to keep the spice levels up in your married life through flirting with your spouse (or others!)
happy flirty couple eating icecream

Like cats, Tinder, and dying alone, flirting is usually associated with single people. At this point married folks are planning to drop off with a sigh! Nope don’t, nada, hold on! This is for you; the married and the committed and the taken! All those reasons why you should flirt! With your spouse and those charming others! Remember wanting to be noticed and pampered is not a crime.

Awaken the giant within:

Flirt with husbandYou both are stark naked and go about your work in the bathroom without a glance at each other? Sad, isn’t it? Flirt with that hot boy/girl in the party. Then lock your gaze with your partner and caress him softly on his butt, just for two seconds! Ask innocently, ‘Aren’t you tired? Want to hit the bed now?” Flirting awakens the sleeping giant!

“Sex is a lot like food. We have staples. But we all want some variety,” says Dr Avani Tiwari, Psychiatrist and Sexologist in Delhi

Checking your am-I-still-desirable quotient:

Am I desirable

Your tummy has enveloped your new tan belt. You can’t suck your belly in all night, can you? Go flirt! Charm that ‘other’ person you have been eyeing. Nothing wrong in checking out if you’re still interesting. There will always be someone who appreciates something about you and there comes your adrenalin shot.

Caution for women flirts though! Research shows men tend to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women. If you start receiving texts from the other men while you were trying to catch your husband’s attention, please don’t blame Bonobology! Enjoy the attention and find a polite way to decline it (if that is what you want that is!)

 Keep the sugar and spice alive:

Sugar and spice in married lifeYour wife does not laugh so hard on your jokes anymore/ your husband does not praise your culinary skills as much. Anything unappreciated dies a slow death with time, he stops being witty, she stops trying new recipes! Try impressing the ‘other’, they will more than make-up for all missed compliments! It takes flirting with someone else to remember how good, amusing and fun we are. And then your spouse is forced to see what you have been telling them all along! Bonus: Flirting with your gym instructor or that sexy lady can double your motivation for fitness!

At your best ever:

Flirt with spouseThe desire to flirt automatically makes you work to stay on top! At work, you will work harder, smarter because you want to impress the person you want to flirt with. At home you will take care of your body, hair, dressing because you want to look good! With the spouse you can flirt your way out of daily tasks. Just a word of caution: Use the last one ‘sparingly’ for it to be effective!

Checking-in with partner’s mood:

Flirt with partnerYou have flirted with a colleague and are now ready for a steamy session with spouse (because let’s accept it when you flirt with someone else, you usually think about sex more often). But, you don’t know what mood he is in? Give him a small backrub and let your hands be more lingering than massage-y! You have conveyed your good mood and he can take up from there. Remember we usually flirt when we are in a good mood. Caution: When flirting with others, remember to leave it strictly outside your door and instead reap the benefits of all that positive energy with your spouse in the bedroom.

Just make sure you don’t carry the flirting too far!

Happiness begets happiness:

Flirting, guilt and happiness

When you flirt with that person out there, you come home feeling happy and maybe a tad bit guilty. You now want to pamper your partner! Make her/him happy too! Voila you start a chain reaction of happiness! Caution: Do not reveal the source of happiness, just share the fruits of it!

Published in Married Life

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