11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse – Spice Up Your Marriage

Married Romance | | , Mental Health & Psychology Enthusiast
Updated On: February 3, 2023
date your spouse

Do you remember those first few dates with your partner? Do you miss that heady rush of emotions you experienced when you first started dating? Marriage and all the responsibilities that come with it often blunt the romance between a couple. A conscious effort to date your spouse is all it takes to bring it all back with a bang.

All those cute little gestures, holding hands, sipping coffee from the same cup, and the grand confessions of love. It can continue for a lifetime. With a little planning, some extra effort, and a lot of love, you can keep the romance alive. After all, dating your partner is the key to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

What It Means To Date Your Spouse

Couples tend to put a lot of effort into the first few months of their relationship. Aptly put, the honeymoon period is filled with intense love, attraction, and ecstasy. As time passes, people tend to slack off and the magic fizzles out. With adult responsibilities, jobs, household tasks, and children, making time for romance and intimacy (and we don’t just mean the sexual kind) might seem like a chore in itself.

However, you need to give it a try. And that’s exactly what dating your spouse is all about. It means not letting the changing definitions of your relationship change the way you bond and connect with each other. It means finding a way to prioritize your connection as romantic partners even as you go from being a committed couple to being married, becoming parents, or even grandparents. Dating your life partner means not letting the mundane realities of everyday life overpower your connection and finding a way to stay in love forever. Once you start making an effort to spend time for each other, you’ll see a shift in your relationship.

Relaxing and enjoying things together can help you and your spouse connect on a deeper level. It strengthens your bond and amplifies affection. Charm your partner with the same zeal you had at the beginning. Getting married isn’t an excuse to become passive or boring. Instead, a long and successful marriage needs you to be creative and proactive. So, never stop dating your spouse.

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Why Is It Important To Date Your Spouse?

The concept of married dating has caught on in recent times. More and more couples are realizing the importance of scheduling date nights and finding newer ways to connect with each other. But why is it important? After all, you live with your spouse, see them every day, and get some – if not a lot – time with them.

So, why do you need to look for date ideas for couples or make an effort to carve out some quality time just for the two of you? Well, from better communication to greater relationship satisfaction, the benefits are many. In fact, research by the Marriage Foundation and the University of Lincoln found that married couples who had regular date nights were 14% less likely to split. Here are some reasons why that may be the case:

Related Reading: 10 Activities To Spice Up Things With Your Partner Today!

  • Keeps the spark alive: The prospect of going on dates with your spouse can be very exciting and bring back all those giddy feelings you experienced right at beginning of your love story. It’s a surefire way to prevent complacency in the relationship and keep the spark of desire and love sizzling
  • A chance to discover each other: People grow, evolve, and change as they go through life. Over the years, your spouse and you may become very different versions of yourselves than the ones who came together and decided to share a life. Giving each other your undivided attention on dates gives you to keep discovering and understanding newer layers to each other’s personalities. A perfect antidote to the feeling of growing apart and feeling like strangers that so many married couples grapple with
  • Building a deep friendship: Marriages built on friendship and a sense of camaraderie are truly special. Because when the heady rush of romance and desire simmers down – and it inevitably does – this friendship serves as the glue that holds you together. When you make the time to engage with each other, have conversations about anything and everything, and have a great time in each other’s company, you strengthen this friendship in the process
  • It makes you happier: According to a study, people are twice as happy when spending time with their spouses. Naturally, that happiness spills over into your relationship and makes you happier as a couple. So, go explore some date ideas for married couples and take your partner out

11 Lovely Ways To Date Your Spouse – Spice Up Your Marriage

Are you wondering how to date your spouse again? It might seem a bit tricky at first. Before you start looking for date ideas for couples or thinking about romantic things to do for your wife or husband, you need to make a few small changes in your everyday life to carve out space for these dates. Here’s how to start dating again after a lull and make the practice sustainable:

  • Make time for each other: Just the way you would make time for exercise or go the extra mile to eat healthy if a doctor told you that’s what you need to do for your health, make a conscious effort to dedicate some time to each other. Make spending time together a non-negotiable part of your marriage
  • Schedule date nights: Next order of business is to schedule regular date nights – be it at home after you’ve taken care of the household chores and the kids have settled in for the night or someplace outside. Use this time well to check in with each other, talk to each other, and discuss what’s on your mind. Leave conversations about children, the household, bills, finances, and other such mundane aspects of your shared life at the door when you step into your date night
  • Leave room for spontaneity: Apart from making time to date each other, be open to spontaneous plans that allow you to truly connect. Taking a walk together in the evening, going out for ice cream after dinner, and driving around town when you have some time at hand can all be great date ideas for married couples. Steal moments from your hectic lives and just be with each other
  • Cut out the distractions: When you’re on a date with your spouse, make sure there are no distractions and you give each other your undivided attention. No phones, no social media, just you and your partner living in the moment and savoring every bit of the experience

Related Reading: 7 Ways To Get The Romance Back After Having A Baby

Once you’ve done the groundwork, married dating can be a lot of fun. You don’t have to go overboard in looking for romantic things to do for your wife or husband during these dates because that won’t be sustainable in the long run. Start small. Maybe with a simple chat. Sit down with a glass of wine and just talk to each other.

As you get more comfortable with the idea of married dating, you can start looking for new ways and avenues to spend time together. Not sure where to get started? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. We’ve brainstormed the perfect date ideas for couples for your benefit:

1. Let’s get coffee

How to start dating again? How about starting with an oldie but goodie? Mingling over a cup of joe is the go-to idea for lovers. A coffee date makes a great first date or the 1000th. Head out to your favorite cafe or a fancy tea parlor, or you can keep it cheap and make it on your own at home. You can make it a daily ritual and keep it quick before heading off to the office or after coming back home. Or head out every Sunday for an hour or two. The type of drink matters less than the conversation that follows.

2. A couple that learns together grows together

Did you know the benefits of learning a new skill together? Besides the obvious mastery of a novel task, couples can gain a lot more from this date idea. They feel an enhanced feeling of satisfaction while learning something together. They tend to feel more connected and passionate toward one another.

It’s time to pick up a skill you both want to learn. You can join a language, dance, pottery, swimming, or art class. However, make sure it’s an activity that you both enjoy. If one person is not interested, it won’t make sense to continue with it. The things that couples should do together must always be the ones that bring them joy.

3. Turn on the heat, let’s cook at home

Usually, cooking is seen as another one of those taxing household chores on our to-do list. You might be the savvy couple who cooks and packs meals for a week in advance or may you just order takeaways. While both those choices are perfectly practical and dandy, cooking together can also be a secret recipe for romance.

Cooking can be a highly sensual and intimate experience. Every once in a while, it can make your relationship seem like a scene from a rom-com film. Pour out your favorite wine, put on some jazz, and get your hands dirty. From rolling the dough together to dipping strawberries in the chocolate fondue, cooking will leave you both hot and heavy. It’s an easy way to keep the dates light and flirty or to make them a bit saucier.

Related Reading: Best Ways to Rekindle Romance in A Relationship

4. Date your spouse on a vacation

Vacations are the best bet when couples want to spend quality time together. Since it’s a break from the routine and daily chores, you can commit all your attention to your spouse. It’s a great stress buster that often paves the way for rewarding experiences.

While it might seem like an expensive date idea, there are ways to keep it under budget. Plan some cheap day outings nearby every other week, and a full-fledged holiday every two-three months. Head out to a nearby resort on the weekend or book a long holiday. You could even plan a weekend sexcation to spice things up.

The ideal vacation spot for you and your spouse is your decision. Backpack in the local forest or spend the day at a wine resort. Relax in a 5-star hot water jacuzzi or book a fun day out to the nearest amusement park. The choice is yours, to make it as fancy or simple as you want. As long as you have a wonderful time, the specifics don’t matter.

5. Late-night rendezvous

Although a long cuddling session can feel like a date in itself, to shake things up a little, you can make plans to get out of the house and enjoy some alone time before hitting the bed. Nights set up a romantic backdrop for couples to enjoy each other’s company. What’s more picturesque than a long drive under the stars? You can relish the soft breeze on the winding roads as you hold hands with your beau.

Don’t have a car? Steal your partner’s sweatshirt and go for a walk around the corner. Put on your favorite Spotify list, share your AirPods, and romantically flirt with your spouse. You can even head out to the beach and let the salty air bring you both closer. Make sure you keep this time free of work or family-related topics.

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6. Pick up a hobby or two

Are you and your partner die-hard comic fans? Or were you both born with a green thumb? Whatever your hobby is, you can share it with your better half and have a blast. It’s easy to find things that you both love. If not, you can just share the same space while indulging in your respective hobbies. Even finding a new common interest could be a pleasurable activity in itself.

You can pick up a two-player sport or find some books couples can read together. It can be anything – from photography and pressing flowers to playing the piano and collecting movie posters. When partners share common passions and hobbies, they open up to each other in a meaningful manner. They feel a heightened level of attraction toward one another, which further solidifies their bond.

7. Date your spouse the wine way

We all have the Italian dream of escaping to a vineyard and sipping velvety wines day in and out. While that may or may not come true, there are plenty of viable alternatives available. You can have an opulent experience and say “Cheers” without a flight to Florence.

Browse around and you’ll find various wineries and vineyards that organize special events. For instance, you can go out for a wine-tasting date night with your husband/wife. Or enroll in a workshop for making wines. You both can chase wine festivals, become connoisseurs, and build your own collection in the process. As you soak in new experiences on dates with your spouse, you expand your horizons and add new layers to your personality.

8. Get the game on

You don’t have to be a pro-level gamer to enjoy a board game or a trivia night. Schedule some dates to play your favorite games together. Or even better, call up your friends and make it a double date idea that is fun. One can even go for a sports date night. Against popular belief, women do enjoy baseball as much as an average joe.

Have a big game coming around? Maybe swap your buddy time with your partner and have a blast. Unable to find tickets to the baseball game? No worries, head down to your favorite bar and cheer together. However, make sure it doesn’t become a point of conflict. If your opinions clash a lot during a game or you are too competitive in Borderlands, then it’s best to not add it to the list. Keep your egos aside and aim for a fun evening.

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9. Go for a live show

If you and your spouse are a fan of performing arts, you will never find yourself wanting for date ideas and avenues. You can go for a comedy stand-up, drama, live music show, opera, spoken word events, etc. The options are endless. It’s a great way to explore the world around you and pursue your artistic inclinations – together. Besides, you get a chance to develop and share a common interest while being entertained.

keep romance alive

10. Date your spouse while volunteering

Having a mutual altruistic goal is a profound experience. Sharing that moment with your beloved will make it infinitely more special. Spend some time working for charitable causes with your partner. Not only will it give you a sense of peace and calm, but it will also bring you both closer. Couples can even gain a new sense of respect and admiration for each other.

It’s an impactful way to make a difference while spending meaningful time with your spouse. You can volunteer at a community hospital or a local garden, join a donation or awareness drive, foster a pet or take part in a cleanliness initiative. There are many ways to direct your energy toward a greater purpose and grow together.

Related Reading: 5 Romantic Indoor Date Ideas To Keep Things Spicy

11. DIY dates for creative couples

Not everyone is an outdoorsy person, nor does everybody enjoy social activities. Do you want to date your spouse at home? Then, a home improvement project could be the way to go. Did you always want to change your kitchen tiles or did you envision a koi pond in the backyard? Well, what are you waiting for? Make a plan, pick up the tools, scour YouTube for tutorials, and get to it.

You don’t have to remodel the whole house at once. Discuss and decide on the easiest and the biggest priority to start with. Slowly, as your skills improve, take up bigger projects. Make sure you both are equally invested in the task, that you stay on the same page, and keep arguments at bay.

Key Pointers

  • Going on dates with your spouse can improve your relationship quality, bring you closer, keep you happier
  • Make time for each other, schedule date nights, go along with spontaneous plans, and use these moments to give your spouse your undivided attention
  • From going out for coffee to trying out new activities or even volunteering together, there are so many different ways you can spend quality time with your spouse
  • Choose what works best for you both, prioritize each other, and never stop dating your spouse

Now that you are aware of how to date your spouse again and its endless perks, it’s time to get on with it. Remember not every date has to be a lavish, extravagant, over-the-top experience. The idea is for you and your spouse to create moments where you can connect with each other. And for that, it’s always the little things like a comforting meal at your favorite restaurant or a relaxing walk on a trail that work like magic. So, go woo your partner and rekindle the spark in your relationship.


1- How often should you date your spouse?

There is no set rule or a fixed amount of dates. The couple can decide the when and the how, as well as the things to do for a quality time together. The decision depends on your time, interest, and convenience. Discuss with your partner and align your schedules to find the perfect time for a date. Making a habit of weekly date nights and a long vacation once in a while can work wonders.

2- Why is it important to date your spouse?

Dating your spouse is the sure-fire way to keep the romance alive. Dating strengthens the bond and intimacy between couples and helps you develop a deeper friendship. Spending time in pleasurable activities will bring you both closer than ever. It provides the perfect opportunity to connect and enjoy your life together. As a result, your married life will become even more exciting and satisfying.

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