How To Know If She Is The One

You know what’s fascinating… We’ve accomplished some incredible things – building businesses, conquering mountains, and even exploring other planets. But when it comes to figuring out if we’re dating the right person, it’s like all our superpowers disappear. If you’ve found yourself grappling with the question, “Is she the one?”, you’d know exactly what we’re talking about.

Research in the Archives of Sexual Behavior suggests that millennials, on average, go through about eight partners before they find “the one” and settle down. I mean, let’s face it, finding your lifelong partner right away is about as rare as finding a unicorn in your backyard. And you know it, not everyone gets to marry their high-school sweetheart.

So, it’s time to realize that you’re not alone in asking yourself that eternal question. Since dating requires you to obtain certain emotional skills, it can take a few attempts, twists and turns to figure out if she is the one. So, let’s navigate the twists and turns together, and who knows, we might just discover the right answer you’ve been searching for all along.

Is She The One? 25 Clear Signs She Is!

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Choosing the right partner is like finding the last piece of a puzzle – super important and a total game-changer. And picking the wrong (read: incompatible) partner can negatively influence other areas of your life. According to a study, unhappy marriages account for lower levels of life satisfaction and overall well-being, and increased stress.

Now, we’ve been through the different stages of a relationship – the ups and downs of it all. And those heartbreaks. They can leave a deep wound, making us lose faith in true love. But don’t worry anymore because we’re here to decode the signs that she is the one for you. Whether you’re in the exciting stage of courtship, just got into a relationship, or developed a crush on a girl, this article will answer your question – is she the one for me?

1. She puts in equal effort

Now, here’s the deal: everyone has their own version of what equal effort in a relationship looks like. But when you’re looking for signs she is the one to marry, there are some key fundamentals to consider. Elaborating on what they are, psychologist Dr. Aman Bhonsle previously told Bonobology, “In a meaningful relationship, effort entails paying attention to your partner’s needs. Being present in the connection and making an effort to maintain it is key. Making an effort in a relationship extends far beyond material well-being.” So, to know what kind of girl is right for you, reflect on to what extent are your efforts reciprocated.

2. She brings out the best in you

When you’re starting a relationship or dating someone new, it’s easy to get fixated on your list of expectations. But perhaps you should rather focus on the impact a relationship has on you. For instance, if a partner brings out the worst in you (rings a bell?), it’s one of the signs she is not the one for you.

On the other hand, finding a partner who supports and celebrates you is truly priceless. Look for those moments when she roots for your success and genuinely cares about your well-being. Her appreciation shows how deeply she loves you. So, if you’ve witnessed growth in your personal life and your partner brings out the best in you, these are early signs she is the one for you.

3. She shows up for you during your lows

Is she the one you’ve been waiting for? Wondering how to know if she’s the one? Look for the fundamentals of support in your relationship. The truth is, finding a supportive partner who shows up for you during your lows is like finding a treasure. When life gets rough, having someone who has your back can make all the difference in the world.

Counseling therapist Deepak Kashyap explains, “When it comes to helping your partner through a difficult time, it’s important to recognize the severity of the situation they’re dealing with.” When your partner can recognize your struggles, it shows that she has empathy and deeply cares about your well-being.

4. She respects your wishes

The importance of true love and acts of compassion in a relationship is well-established. But this is what it takes – both partners being committed to prioritizing each other. If she respects your wishes just as you respect hers, then consider yourself lucky. It is one of the early signs she’s the one. You can figure it out through the little things in a relationship as well. For instance, if she agrees to watch your favorite movie with you, it may indicate that she truly loves you.

Related Reading: 160 Ultimate What If Questions About Love For Couples

5. She actively listens to what you have to say

Let’s talk about active listening. It’s not just about hearing the words, but about truly engaging in the conversation. Ask yourself the following questions:

Does she listen to you without unnecessary interruptions?
Does she show a genuine interest in what you have to say?
Do you get the undivided attention in a relationship that you deserve, especially during serious conversations?
Is she transparent with you when she has a different opinion?

If yes, then she is truly the kind of girl you’d be lucky to share your life with.

6. She makes you feel alive

The yin and yang energy acts differently within each one of us. Try to understand if there is a balance of feminine and masculine energy in your relationship. And no, it’s not about gender. It’s about how you complement each other. Feminine energy is all about living life to the fullest – it’s fluid, creative, and giving. Masculine energy is about clarity, power, ambition, and being protective. So here’s the test: think back to how you felt after spending time with your love.

Did you forget your worries?
Did your body feel less tense?
Did you feel recharged?
Did you have a gut feeling that she is a keeper?

If yes, well, that’s the magic of her feminine/masculine energy harmonizing with yours. These are spiritual signs she’s the one.

7. She pushes you to do better in your life

In a mature relationship, both partners focus on winning together as a team. When you’re in a committed long-term relationship, each partner’s individual success plays a crucial role in the direction of the relationship. Therefore, it is a good idea to reflect on what you’re bringing to the table from time to time.

Psychologist Devaleena Ghosh explains, “For a relationship to last long, it’s important that you have a partner who encourages you to do better and grow as an individual.” So if she pushes you to do better and supports your self-improvement, it’s among the signs she’s a keeper.

8. She includes you in her future plans

Planning a future together is the simplest way to take responsibility in a relationship. Since you’re here asking, “Is she the one?”, it’s safe to assume that you want to build your life with this one woman. If the woman you’re dating includes you in her future plans, she’s serious about you and wants the same. This is one of the best early signs she’s the one to marry. In fact, chances are that your girlfriend wants to marry you too. If you’re ready, it’s time to initiate that conversation and take your relationship to the next level.

Related Reading: 5 Brutally Honest Truths About Long-Term Relationships

9. How to know if she’s the one? She doesn’t fixate on your shortcomings

Every relationship sees its rainy days (even storms) but only those who move past the rough patch of the relationship are the ones who survive in the long run. The thing is, conflict in a relationship is natural because we’re all wonderfully unique. And let’s face it, none of us are perfect. So, when you’re wondering if she’s the one, remember:

When your partner focuses on conflict resolution instead of fixating on your flaws, that’s a green flag to build a life together
However, if she constantly belittles you and hurtfully brings up your shortcomings again and again, it’s time to wave goodbye to a possibly toxic relationship
If you cannot have an honest conversation due to the fear that it may lead to a horrible fight about your flaws, your relationship is not really healthy

10. You feel safe being vulnerable with her

Yes, being vulnerable opens us up to the possibility of getting hurt. But guess what? It’s essential for a strong relationship. I mean, we all carry emotional baggage from previous relationships. While it’s up to us to work on it, it helps a lot when your partner holds space for you. It can be very helpful when you feel bad about some important things in your life or simply have a bad day. Some people believe that a man will change for the right woman. Perhaps, what it really means is that when he finds the right one, he will be vulnerable with her.

Although being vulnerable with your partner can generate fear and uncertainty, a study suggests it can also strengthen your intimacy and deepen your relationship connection. So, if you’re vulnerable with a woman, it means you feel safe opening up to her and being your authentic self with her. Try not to let her go because chances are, she’s the one for you.

11. You understand each other’s need for reassurance or withdrawal

Despite the prevailing stereotypes, men are just as capable as women in expressing their emotions. However, the society we live in doesn’t leave much space for men to express themselves. Sometimes, men emotionally withdraw to figure out what’s going on within themselves and to find an appropriate response to the situation.

Every couple has their unique way of dealing with this, and we trust that you do too. So how do you know if she is the one? What are the signs she’s too good for you? The thing is, if you and your partner have found a way to understand each other’s need for reassurance or withdrawal, then she might just be the one. The key here is open communication about your emotional needs.

12. You have all the qualities of a healthy relationship

Is she the one or not? In the initial stages, it is easy to create a happy relationship. But now, after you have been with her for a while, take a look at your relationship and see if you tick all the boxes: mutual trust, transparent communication, mutual respect, and of course, reciprocation and appreciation. These are the hallmarks of a healthy relationship, and if you see them in your bond, it’s one of the clearest signs that you can build a fulfilling life together.

13. You’ve become more goal-oriented after you’ve met her

Still wondering if she’s right for you? Is she the one you’ve been waiting for? Here’s a quick way to find out: have you noticed a positive change in your life since meeting your girlfriend? Take a moment to compare your life before and after meeting her. True love has a way of empowering us and pushing us to become the best version of ourselves. If she’s been your inspiration to level up and chase your goals, then hold on tight. This is among the subtle signs she is the one for you which are easy to miss.

14. It’s more than just sex

When the intimacy in a relationship goes beyond just sex or physical attraction, you know you’ve hit the jackpot – yes, it’s a good sign you’ve found the one. This means that the connection between you two goes deeper than physical attraction and pleasure. It’s about emotional intimacy and a bond that goes beyond the bedroom. In such relationships, the intimacy can be deep and beautiful.

15. You don’t have to worry about separation

Let’s talk about feeling secure in your relationship. Emotional security is vital for your well-being. If you constantly worry about your partner walking out on you at the slightest disagreement, it can leave you feeling anxious and unsettled. But, if your partner believes in resolving issues rather than ending the relationship in the blink of an eye, it is one of the signs she’s a keeper. Just remember, it’s a two-way street.

16. You feel it in your gut she is the one

Here’s the thing: as we move forward in this article, it’s time to turn the spotlight back to you and how you feel about her. So, take a moment and ask yourself this question: is she the one? If your gut is screaming YES!, accompanied by a flurry of butterflies in the stomach, then congratulations, your girlfriend is the one! The universe is giving you a big thumbs up, affirming that she’s your soulmate.

Related Reading: 25 Fun Long-Distance Relationship Games For Couples To Grow Closer

17. You accept her flaws but also see the untapped potential

Is she the one or not? When you know she’s the one for you, her flaws don’t bother you. I mean, we all have strengths and weaknesses. None of us are perfect, and that’s okay. Accepting your partner for who they are, minimizes a lot of unnecessary friction in the relationship. Here’s a simple way of assessing whether that’s the case for you:

Visualize a Venn diagram of your relationship compatibility
Draw it on a piece of paper if you wish
Then assess for yourself whether your personality traits are compatible and if you can tolerate each other’s flaws and annoying things
Figure out if are willing to guide each other toward becoming better versions of yourselves

18. You want her to be a part of everything in your life

And here’s a simple yet good sign she is the one: you want her to be a part of every aspect of your life. It’s really that simple, isn’t it? You love her, and you want her by your side through thick and thin.

When you share new experiences and create special moments together, you can build an incredible bond with another person. Whether it’s ticking off items from your couple’s bucket list, exploring new places, cherishing personal rituals, or making a list of things you want to do with her, you’ve found the one!

19. Your mom loves her

Now, let’s talk about the ultimate litmus test: your mom’s approval! When you’re in a committed relationship, the reaction of your friends and family can matter a lot. Moms have a sixth sense that can gauge when someone isn’t right for you. If your mom can’t stop talking about how amazing your girlfriend is, you’ve got the OG seal of approval! When mom’s happy with your choice, do you need any more good signs that she’s the one?

20. You swore you’d never date again but she seemed worth another shot

Remember that phone call you made to your best friend where you vowed to stay away from love for the rest of your life? And yet, here you are, trying to figure out how to know if she’s the one. Just when you’d given up on love and dating, she came along and restored your faith in love. She makes it seem like it’s worth the effort once again. Some call it destiny or fate, others refer to it as meeting your twin flame. Whatever you want to call it, it’s a good sign that she’s worth another shot at love.

Related Reading: 55 Hobbies For Couples To Feel Closer And Strengthen Their Bond

21. You daydream your life with her

You’ll be surprised to know that research suggests daydreaming about your partner and your life together can improve your mental health and motivate you to do better. Daydreams are nothing but a reflection of the things that are dear to us. Have you ever been occupied with work but a fleeting thought about her turns into a 10-minute musing? If you’re often lost in thoughts of cute things to do with her, spoiling her with kisses, taking her out on dates, then you’re head over heels in love with her.

22. Her goals and values align with yours

We’re certain that you have set goals for yourself, envisioned your life a certain way, and have plans in place for your career. To know if she is the one or not, have an open conversation about your future together. If your partner shares the same goals and ambitions, you have your answer.

And here’s the cherry on top: if your values and ethics align, it’s like a match made in heaven. It means you’re on the same page about the things that matter the most. And having this common ground will lead to a meaningful relationship.

23. Spiritual signs she is the one – you’ve crossed paths before

You and your partner may have crossed paths before but never met until the time was right. And when you finally meet, you were surprised at how close you were to meeting them before but never did. These are spiritual signs she’s the one. This is typically true for a twin-flame connection – where you cross paths in life, but don’t get together until you’re fully equipped to deal with such an intense connection in your life.

24. She brings a smile to your face even when she’s not there

How do you know when you find the one? Wondering how to know if a girl is worth pursuing? And when do you know she’s right? Here’s the answer: if she makes you happy, it is one of the signs of a great girlfriend. And if she is the one, truly the one, then you won’t feel happy only when she is around. It’s like she has this magical power to brighten your day, even when she’s not physically present. Here are a few subtle signs she is the one for you:

Your phone buzzes and you see a cute picture of her pop up. Instantly, your face lights up with a big grin
She sends you a sweet goodnight text and your heart feels all warm and fuzzy
Small things, like a romantic emoji or even a memory of a special moment you shared, can make you smile without even realizing it
The mere thought of her brings a smile to your face and makes your heart flutter

25. You’re still friends with her

Think about the relationship between Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. The reason why they are the favorite celebrity couple on the internet is: they act like best friends with each other even after years of marriage. So, if you can still be best friends with your spouse or partner, you’ve hit the jackpot! Honestly, it’s like having the best of both worlds. Here’s why she’s your soulmate if you are lovers as well as friends with each other:

You can laugh together, share secrets, and support each other in a way that only true friends can
You can get along together and create good things even if they take time and effort
Being friends in addition to being lovers eliminates tension
It promotes open communication
You understand and fulfill each other’s needs on multiple levels

Key Pointers

If she’s always there, giving you that extra push and cheering you on to be the best version of yourself, she just might be the one
When you imagine your future, she’s right there in the picture because life without her just doesn’t make sense
To you can build a happy and healthy relationship, you need to figure out whether you value her perspective and accept her the way she is
If she makes you believe in love again, has honest conversations with you, and indicates that she wants a future with you, you know she’s the one

“Is she the one for me?” It is super important to ask yourself this question – especially if you’re planning to tie the knot with a long-term girlfriend or make a big decision in your love life. If she checks off most of the boxes in this article and makes your soul do a happy dance, then congratulations, you might have found the one! From those adorable little quirks to the way she supports and challenges you, these signs reflect a truly special connection. So, keep your eyes open for those magical sparks, listen to your gut, and enjoy the journey of your happily ever after!

This article was updated in June 2023.

FAQs

1. How do you know if someone is the one for you?

Knowing if someone is the one for you is a deeply personal experience. But there are a few key factors you can consider. Do your beliefs and dreams high-five each other? It’s like finding a partner in crime who wants the same things as you – a match made in rom-com heaven! Also, do you feel a deep emotional connection and genuine happiness when you’re together? Can you share your deepest thoughts and feelings, knowing they’ve got your back? Last but not least, are they your biggest cheerleader? If yes, there is a high chance that this person is the one for you!

2. How long does it take to know if she’s the one?

There is no fixed time period to determine if she is the one for you. Many people suggest that it takes around six months or 172 days of dating a girl before deciding if she is the one to marry. Ultimately, it’s important to trust your instincts, communicate openly with your partner, and allow the relationship to develop naturally.