Does she love me?
One minute she’s giving you her undivided attention, the next you see her leaving you on read, but uploading stories on her social media. You’ve contemplated asking her friends, you’ve overanalyzed her messages a little too much, and that male “best friend” she has is getting too close for comfort. And you’re still nowhere near having an answer to “Does she love me?”
All the signs she loves you won’t make a difference if you don’t know what you’re looking out for. Instead, you might end up overthinking all her social media stories for clues. No, the funny meme on being single she uploaded doesn’t mean anything.
Does she love me? Does she like being with me? Should I just book our honeymoon tickets right now? – While we can’t help you with that last one, we do hope this list of signs she is madly in love with you will at least be able to answer a couple of your questions and clear your doubts. With the help of relationship and intimacy coach Shivanya Yogmayaa (internationally certified in the therapeutic modalities of EFT, NLP, CBT, and REBT), who specializes in different forms of couple’s counseling, let’s answer all your burning questions.
Does She Love Me? 23 Clear Signs She Does
“Does she love me?” you ask yourself, as she ‘heart reacts’ to your recently updated profile picture. Granted, it’s a nice gesture, but we highly doubt that it’s one of the signs she loves you (sorry).
“Does she love me?” you ask yourself again, as she sends you a “good night”, with a little red heart next to it. All your infatuated senses might tell you she does, and you might even end up dreaming about her that night, but again, we doubt this being one of the signs she loves you deeply over texts.
The point is, it’s easy to get confused between love and infatuation and let it get the better of you. No, that hug that lasted a few seconds longer than usual is not conclusive proof that she’s head over heels in love with you. “Not every sign means she’s into you. If she’s just casual with you, if she’s too relaxed and at ease, you’ll feel that she’s not into you at all,” says Shivanya.
“To answer your questions like “Does she love me?”, you need to be able to pick out very peculiar signs and not let your wishful thinking get the better of you. At the same time, palpable chemistry will be very easy to pick up on. She’ll try to brush her hand against yours, she may try to lean in a bit too close, or she’ll dress in a way that can create chemistry,” she adds.
Answering “How to tell if a girl likes you?” is a bit tricky. When there’s nothing there, you’ll just feel it. But when there’s a bit of chemistry brimming with every conversation you have with her, it’s time to take a closer look. Also, it’s important to note the difference between ‘love’ and ‘like’. While the presence of a few of these signs may signify that this person likes you, you’ll probably need a lot of them for it to be called love.
Even then, the answer to the question “Does she actually love me?” is only hers to answer. To make sure you don’t live under any false assumptions, the following signs she loves you deeply should at least help you decipher what’s brewing in her mind.
1. A little kindness goes a long way
One of the first little signs a woman is in love with you could be that she’s kind to you. No, we don’t mean a courteous wave of a hello or goodbye at work, we mean the kindness that’s clearly visible, even to those around you. Shivanya says, “Kindness is a sign of a good character, not necessarily a sign that she’s into you. However, if she shows extra effort by going out of her way to help you out, you might have something going on.
“Kindness is something that good-natured people do without putting much thought into it. But if she’s doing something that can count as her going out of her way to help you with something, or if she’s willing to listen to you till odd hours just to offer support – basically, if she’s doing something for you that she wouldn’t for other people or her other friends, it’s a sign.”
Does she speak to you softly and kindly? Does she randomly bring you a donut or a coffee? Does she wait for you to finish lunch so that you can leave the table together? Take note of general acts of kindness as well as the times she goes out of her way to help you, and you might have your answer to the burning question, “Does she love me?”
2. She encourages you to do better
When a woman cares for you deeply and loves you, she will show the fundamentals of support and help you to be the best version of yourself. If you notice her wanting to know your future plans and encouraging you to be the best you can be, she’s doing it solely because she cares about you.
Shivanya tells us how this may manifest in her behavior, “Of course, she will not agree with your opinion every single time, especially if it goes against what she believes in. Even so, she’ll show that she respects you and values your opinion and statements. She’ll appreciate certain qualities in you, and encourage you to become a better person overall.”
Related Reading: How To Ask A Girl Out On A Date – 18 Tips To Make Her Say Yes
3. She actually listens to you when you talk
Every time you have a conversation with her, you feel heard and validated. It won’t feel like she’s waiting for you to stop talking, so it’s her turn to talk again. Instead, she’ll not only listen to everything you’re saying, but will also try to remember it as well.
Shivanya explains further, “If a woman likes someone, you’ll notice all the general signs of her liking you. She’ll be a little shy in front of you, though she’ll try her best to not show it. She might not be able to make eye contact, but her body language will convey that she’s either nervous or interested, but most importantly, she’s going to listen to what you have to say.”
So, if you’re the kind of person who can’t remember what you had for breakfast this morning, you better roll up your sleeves and pay the same kind of attention to her when she talks.
4. Her body language can give you signs she loves you
Without even engaging in conversation with her, you can figure out whether she fancies you or not. The female body language signs of attraction can help you out more than you know. All you’ve got to do is know what to look out for. Does she look deeply into your eyes while talking? Does she lean toward you? These and many other signs will help you figure out the answer to “Does she love me or not?”
Shivanya explains what you need to look out for. “Her entire demeanor can shout out all the signs, even though she might not verbally say anything. One of the main ways she does this is through her body language. The way she feels when she makes eye contact with you, the way she subtly blushes after it and looks away, the way she plays with her hair when she’s talking to you, it’ll all be noticeable if you look closely enough.
“Others might notice that her body language is a lot more relaxed when the person she’s interested in is not around. But when her crush is in the vicinity, she’ll become self-conscious, she’ll become a bit more rigid.”
In most cases, the answer to questions like “Does she love me or is it fake?” can be answered by observing her body language. And if somehow you’re oblivious to the changes in her demeanor, the people around you must have definitely noticed.
5. Is she excited to talk to you?
Does every conversation seem like she’s been looking forward to talk to you, or does she look at you with the same interest as she looks at the label of a shampoo bottle? If she’s genuinely excited to converse with you, you’ll probably be able to see it since you won’t have to think about ways to keep a conversation going with a girl. It’ll come naturally to you.
“She’ll make sure to stay in touch with you through messages and calls, she’d love to hear about your routine, and will always be ready to know what you’re up to. She’ll be waiting for your messages and will respond eagerly. She won’t keep you waiting for a couple of days and make you wonder whether she’s into you or not, she’s going to be very responsive,” explains Shivanya.
6. She’s a little jealous of the other women in your life
If you have a lot of female friends or exes who text you, she might just show a few hints of jealousy when you mention them. She might show an unusual interest in a particular friend and follow it up with a cold or scathing remark. If she texts you something like “Oh, you’re not talking to your other friends nowadays, are you? Just her?”, it definitely means she’s a little bothered by your friendship with this woman.
It may not be one of the signs she loves you deeply over text, but the jealousy could stem from promising foundations. However, just because she’s a bit jealous of you having other female companions doesn’t mean you should get ahead of yourself and ask yourself things like “Does she secretly love me?” As we mentioned earlier, try to spot more signs than just the one.
7. She expects a few things from you
If you disappear with your friends on a Friday night, only to drunk text her “You up?” a day or two later, she might not be too happy about it. One of the signs a woman is in love with you includes when she expects a few things from you like frequent conversation, kindness, respect, and common courtesy.
“On the other hand, if she’s just friends with you, you probably won’t see her fretting too much if you don’t text her or disappear. Also, if you’ve annoyed her after pulled a disappearing act on her, perhaps that’s not the best time to ask, “Does she love me?”” says Shivanya.
8. There’s mutual respect
Love without respect is a toxic relationship. A lack of respect will make itself apparent one way or the other, and mutual respect will result in a better dynamic for both of you. When basic respect is coupled with other signs she loves you, there’s a good chance you’re on to something.
It’s also important to note that playful banter doesn’t necessarily mean disrespect. She may just be trying to get close to you with a bit of humor, and just because she poked fun at how you say a particular word doesn’t mean she doesn’t respect you.
9. Is she making excuses to talk to you?
Perhaps one of the biggest signs she is madly in love with you is when she makes excuses and finds any reason to call you. Going to sleep? That calls for a 5-minute, end-of-day phone conversation, right? Stressed at work? Perhaps a phone call will help you relax.
When she stops trying to hide her attempts at calling you or finding reasons to talk to you, the ‘does she love me’ question just might yield a very favorable answer.
10. Signs she loves you: She’s always finding ways to meet you
She’s not going to waste her precious time on someone she doesn’t like meeting, right? And if she meets you without any other friends, that in itself is a great sign that she loves spending quality time with you. “One of the best ways to figure out how to tell if a girl likes you is by trying to take note of how often she meets you alone. She wouldn’t want to share you with a group of friends since she’s trying to find ways to come close to you and she’ll make sure you both get to spend private time together,” says Shivanya.
Make a note of whether she wants you to accompany her to things she can do alone. It definitely means she’d much rather be in your company than anyone else’s.
Related Reading: 12 Definite Signs She Wants To Be Your Girlfriend
11. She wants to ‘really’ get to know you
By getting to know you, we don’t mean the usual, “Soooo, what do you do for fun?” or “Are you a cat person or a dog person?” This is love we’re talking about here, folks. If she’s in love with you, she’s going to want to know every single thing about you, and all the deep, meaningful stuff.
Shivanya explains further. “If she’s into you, she will ask you direct questions, she’ll want to get to know whether you have a partner or what kind of girls/boys you like. Or maybe even something about your future plans because she wants to see where she can fit into them.
“She will try to inquire about you, she’ll be curious to know you as a person. She’ll ask you everything from what you did on the weekend to what your core opinions and values are.”
Expect questions like: What’s your relationship with your parents like? What have your past relationships been like? What kind of friends do you have? If she asks for your bank details, however, you shouldn’t be asking yourself, “Does she love me?” Instead, figure out how to freeze your bank accounts before you get scammed.
12. If she’s willing to make sacrifices for you, it’s one of the signs she loves you deeply
By sacrifice, we don’t mean the kind that you see in the movies, where one partner lets go of a lucrative job in another city to be with their partner. Sacrifices here look more like being late to something she had to go to, so she could talk to you a while longer. Or helping you out in your time of need, when she had other plans herself. Or even blowing off lunch with her friends, because you happened to mention you need help picking out a bookshelf.
As Shivanya mentioned, notice when when she goes out of her way to help you out or just be supportive. If you see her doing all she can to be kind to you, you shouldn’t be worried about questions like “Does she really love me, or is she using me?”
Although, we do have to add: Don’t expect her to make any sacrifices for you, especially if you’re not even in a relationship. What we’re talking about is the stuff she chooses to do of her own volition. Even then, it’s always a good idea to keep your expectations in a relationship to a minimum.
13. Is she trying to make you laugh?
If she’s into you, she’s obviously going to want you to like her, right? She might try to make you laugh, and she’ll put in more of an effort to be funny around you than when she’s with other people. Look out for signs like her trying to crack jokes or looking at you when you’re all laughing with a group of people.
If she’s laughing AT you, however, consider asking yourself “Does she love me or is she using me for amusement?” We’re kidding, of course. If she was laughing at you, she’d be laughing with her girlfriends.
14. Signs she loves you: She smiles from ear to ear when she sees you
If a bright, wide smile from her when you two meet isn’t just the stuff of dreams and it actually happens in real life, there’s a good chance she has very strong feelings for you. When the “I’m here” or “Open your door, I’m coming upstairs” texts are followed by a warm smile and a long hug in person, we’d say it’s one of the signs she loves you deeply.
Shivanya explains how there’s another clear sign you can take note of when you meet this person. “If she’s into you, she’s going to want to dress up for you as well. She’ll make sure that she’s looking her best when she’s coming to meet you, and she won’t be too casual about it. Of course, that’s because she wants to appear attractive in your eyes and wants you to take note of her.”
So, if she normally goes for comfort wear, but you see her wearing a nice sundress with her hair down in the blistering heat for a coffee with you, there’s really no need to be asking yourself questions like “Does she love me or is it fake?” The effort is clear for you to see.
15. You’re both incredibly comfortable with each other
One of the biggest indicators of a connection is when two people are incredibly comfortable with each other. If your dynamic is the kind where you can share anything with this person, without having to think twice about what you say before you say it, it’s one of the most magical experiences out there.
Shivanya explains how the signs of chemistry between you two will be noticeable. “When you’ve got a case of mutual attraction on your hands, it won’t be difficult to spot the chemistry. For example, she may try to sit closer to you or she may continue to make eye contact with you even in a group. When she likes you, she’d like to physically get closer to you and attract your attention.”
So, if you’re wondering, “Does she actually love me?”, just try to take a look at how comfortable she is with you. Can you feel the chemistry you’ve established with her?
16. She worries about you
Be it for your physical health, your career, or your mental health, her concern will be apparent. If she loves you and wants to see you do better, there’s a big chance she’s going to be concerned when you’re not doing so well.
“When a woman is into someone, she will show her worry and her expression of care very naturally, it won’t ever seem forced. Especially if the person is not doing too well, she might ask how she can help or insist on helping out somehow. She’ll constantly inquire about how they are doing, and she’ll make it pretty obvious that she cares about them,” explains Shivanya.
If she makes you soup when you’re sick, stop thinking, “Does she love me?” and just marry her already. Okay, perhaps start with asking her out. When you get better, of course.
17. She’s there for you when the rain starts to pour
Not literally holding an umbrella for you when it’s raining and you’re running around getting wet. We mean she’ll help you out in your times of trouble. Is she someone you can rely on? Is she always willing to offer a helping hand no matter how busy she is? If she is, it’s clear to see why you can get lost in thoughts like, “Does she secretly love me or is she just nice?”
Nonetheless, If she’s someone you can rely on and she actively wants to help you, and if you’ve noticed a lot of other things from this list in her behavior, these are definitely the signs a woman is in love with you.
18. You’re the best of friends
Had this been just the initial stages of a shy romance, one where you’re still figuring out if you even like the person or not, it’s possible you might not be best friends. However, if you’ve reached a point where you’re trying to figure out if she’s in love with you or not, being best friends is a given. And we all know best friends talk a lot. You can’t really love someone you don’t talk to often, now can you? If it feels like you two are close friends with just the slightest hint of sexual tension, it’s a great sign she is madly in love with you.
19. She compliments you often
If you’re a man reading this, we’re not used to getting complimented, are we? So, when we do receive a compliment, it literally makes our whole week. But regardless of your gender, if she really loves you, there’s a good chance she has noticed just how happy these compliments make you. So she praises you every chance she gets, without it becoming creepy.
“If her love language is the kind where she compliments the other person and if she’s expressive enough, she will encourage them, motivate them, and compliment them. If it’s a guy receiving these rare compliments, she’ll make him feel good about himself and try to make him feel loved and special,” Shivanya points out.
However, if all she’s complimenting is your Audi and your expensive watches, you might need to ask yourself, “Does she love me or my money?” or “Does she really love me or is she using me?” You need to look out for the right signs, buddy, because these are important questions too.
20. She values your opinion
Be it shoe shopping or career decisions, she’s definitely going to ask you what you think if she needs a second opinion. The fact that she values your opinion and that it is worth something to her is, in itself, one of the best signs she loves you. It may also be a subtle sign of flirting, since she’s letting you know she respects you and would like to hear what you have to say.
21. Her friends and family know about you
If she’s on the phone with her mom and you hear her tell her mom she’s with you, congratulations, that’s about as big a sign as any that this girl trusts you. If a woman tells her friends and/or parents about you, it’s definitely because she thinks you’re one who’s going to stick around.
Related Reading: Do I Love Her? 30 Signs That Surely Say So!
22. And her friends can’t stop teasing you two
A comment here, a tag there, an “aww” under a photo of the two of you. Her friends will do everything they can to pull your leg, if they’re that kind, of course. If her friends are constantly dropping hints or trying to tease her when you’re around, it’s definitely one of the signs she is madly in love with you and has probably told all her friends about it.
23. Signs she loves you: She has said something along those lines
Okay, granted that she may not have said, “I love you” (you wouldn’t be reading this article if she had), but she might’ve said something along those lines that you have missed. “I love spending time with you, I always have so much fun” or “I love it when you’re around” or “I love talking to you every day” are all great signs a woman is in love with you.
Hopefully, by going through these signs, you’ll now be able to put your burning question – “Does she love me?” – to bed. We hope the conclusion you come to is a positive one, for your sake. And on the off chance that you’re still confused, there’s only one thing left to do: ask her. It’s the quickest way to get an answer to “Does she love me or not?”