Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. -Joseph Conrad, Polish-British writer
Most men are incapable of picking up even the most evident signs of a girl being into them until it’s too late. And when the realization finally hits, the ship has already sailed. Things get complicated and your perfect love story remains incomplete, leaving you both wondering about what could have been.
When a girl is interested in you and wants a relationship, she will drop hints left right and center and will expect you to pick up on them. These are signs that she wants you to make a move on her. Her body language will reveal that she likes you more than just a friend.
But how can you be certain she likes you? How can you correctly read the signs that she wants to be your girlfriend? Hopefully, after this article, your questions will be answered and you won’t need to scratch your head in perplexity anymore.
Why Does A Girl Want You To Make The First Move?
Call it old school, but most women want men to make the first move. There are several reasons why a girl reserves herself from making the first move. Firstly, unfortunately, it is still the norm for the guy to make the first move so she might expect it from you. Secondly, it may be a plain old fear of rejection. No one wants to put themselves on the spot or be vulnerable. Thirdly, it could be a possibility that she likes you but is too shy to admit it. It is always harder for introverts to make the first move. Lastly, she likes to feel the rush when the other person confesses their feelings in creative ways.
There can be numerous reasons why women won’t make the first move but the fact remains that if a girl is showing signs she wants you to be your girlfriend, someone has to make the first move and take things forward! In a relationship survey conducted by shaadi.com and mentioned in the Hindustan Times1, about 90% of men said they will make the first move in a relationship. Surprisingly, only 19% of women said ‘yes’ and 10.5% said ‘maybe’ to the question.
Related Reading: How do guys feel when girls make the first move?
5 Signs She Wants To Be More Than Friends
If you have a crush on a friend, chances are you’re going to have to make the move and ask her out. However, if you’re not solely wooing her and already share a rapport with her or she is a great friend, your apprehension about making a move and ruining what you already share with her is justified.
The key to getting it right is learning to read the signs a female friend has feelings for you. It will give you a fair idea about where you stand with her and whether the attraction is mutual or you’re reading too much into her platonic love for you. The trouble is most guys find themselves racking their brains over what qualifies as signs she likes you and wants to be more than friends.
Do you have a gut feeling that “she says we are friends but acts like more”? There is a good chance that this gut feeling stems from the subtle hints of interest she’s sending your way. But what EXACTLY are those signs? We know your mind is screaming for answers by now. So let’s break it down for you with this lowdown on the 5 signs she wants to be more than friends
1. She practically behaves like you’re in a relationship
One of the tell-tale signs a female friend has feelings for you is that she practically acts like she is your girlfriend and sticks by you through thick and thin. While it is not uncommon for friends to be there by each other’s sides through the ups and downs of life, the clear difference here is that she’s always there for you, without an exception.
Besides, she may treat you like she already has a certain right over you. From advising you on important matters to forbidding you to do things that she knows aren’t good for you and demanding to know anything and everything about your life, there is already an intense intimacy between you two. Yep, you’re not wrong in thinking “she says we are friends but acts like more”.
2. She flirts with you, albeit subtly
If she has feelings for you, it will be hard for her to keep them under wraps completely, no matter how hard she tries. You’re in the same place as her emotionally, so you know exactly how it feels. There are moments when you want nothing more than to kiss her but stop yourself short of it because you don’t want to overstep the boundaries of friendship.
And so, you may settle for a peck on the cheek. A girl who likes you goes through the same motions. While she may be able to rein her instincts of putting her feelings out there where she’s with you in person, these may slip through in the form of subtle flirting over texts.
If she says things like “Btw, you were looking hot in that blue shirt today *wink emoji*” or “Thinking of you. Wish we could’ve hung out longer today”, you can count them among the signs she wants to be more than friends over text.
3. She wants to spend all her free time with you
Another of the surefire signs she wants to be more than friends is that she just can’t get enough of you. As a result, she wants to spend all her free time with you. You ask her if she wants to get coffee at midnight and she doesn’t think twice before getting out of bed, changing out of her PJs to meet you.
In fact, chilling together whenever you both have time at hand has become such a ritual that you don’t have to even think about it or discuss it anymore. Don’t have plans on Saturday night? You know you’re going to spend it with her, eating pizza and watching movies. Or drinking beer and playing video games.
For a moment pause and think, how is it that she’s always free whenever you are? There is a good chance that she clears her schedule to be with you because she doesn’t want to pass up a single opportunity of being close to you.
Related Reading: 10 Best Ways To Tell A Girl That You Like Her
4. She drops hints about her feelings
If you’re looking for signs a female friend has feelings for you, this one is a no-brainer really. If that friend you’re crushing over has feelings for you too, she will inevitably drop hints to the effect. These hints may be masked as friendly banter or jokes, so have to pay attention to spot the signs.
Have you heard say things to the effect “Any girl would be lucky to have you” or “She is not good enough for you, you deserve better”? Well, that’s her trying to tell you that she sees herself fitting the spot of a significant other in your life perfectly. “She says we are friends but acts like more” isn’t a figment of your imagination. She does have feelings for you.
5. She knows and remembers every little detail about you
When a girl has feelings for you, she will want to get to know you more intimately than just a friend. You may have noticed that she asks a lot of questions about your family, friends, growing up years, likes, dislikes, ambitions and life goals.
This genuine interest in getting to know you better is among the surefire signs she wants to be more than friends. What’s more, she will also remember each of these details vividly, no matter how long ago you may have discussed it.
Want to put your “she says we are friends but acts like more” dilemma to rest? Try bringing up a seemingly irrelevant detail about yourself during a conversation, and then say, “Remember, I told you about this?” And see how she reacts. If she likes you more than a friend, she’d not only remember it but also supplement it with other little things you may have shared with her.
12 Definite Signs She Wants To Be Your Girlfriend
If you’ve been with her for a while, it is easier for you to notice if she wants to be your girlfriend. You can judge a shift in her behavior. If she likes you more than a friend and wants you to make the first move, she will consciously or subconsciously use body language signs of attraction to drop subtle hints or through her conversations to make you realize that she wants you. However complicated you may think women are, their hints are more evident than you imagine. Here are 12 definite signs she wants to be your girlfriend.
Related Reading: 10 Things a Girl Feels When She Is In Love!
1. She wants to be your girlfriend if she leans toward you
Studies show that we tend to lean toward people we are attracted to. If you both are sitting and having a conversation and she leans toward you it means that she is simultaneously trying to show her interest in the conversation and also trying to get closer to you. She definitely wants you to notice the change in her body language and wants you to respond to it as well.
The closer she leans in, the more evident it is that she likes you more than a friend. Even if you think she is out of your league, do not ignore the signs. Maybe you think that way she doesn’t.
2. She wants more from you
You will notice her growing expectations from you. When you make plans with her but end up canceling them, she will get angry with you. She will also expect you to try to cheer her up. She will call you more often and always take your calls no matter how busy she is. Longer conversations are a definite sign that she has fallen for you. These are her ways of telling you that she doesn’t want to be in the friend zone anymore.
3. She acts like your girlfriend
When she likes you a lot, she has already started imagining you as her boyfriend. This is normal for girls as they tend to fantasize about their crush being their boyfriend/girlfriend. She will start getting closer to you, will expect more from you, will start striking up conversations about love or relationships, will try to flirt with you, and even want you to do things for her. It might start feeling like she is already your girlfriend to an extent.
This may leave you wondering, “She says we are friends but acts like more. What does she really want?” Well, if you’re seeing all the signs a female friend has feelings for you, you know exactly what she wants.
4. She wants to be your girlfriend if she starts giving you nicknames
When you tend to move forward from just friends to something more, you start giving each other nicknames. She will try to give you cute nicknames that only she calls you to separate herself from your other friends. She might even blush when she calls you by these names. If she does so, congratulations, she likes you a lot!
5. She leaves things behind
If she comes to your place to visit you, and leaves something behind on purposes like a hair clip, lipstick, or handkerchief, she’s marking her territory. A clear sign that she wants to be your girlfriend. It also means she plans on coming back. This could also be a way of her leaving behind something for you to remember her by even when she isn’t around. You could check on whether she definitely wants to be your girlfriend from this article too.
6. She will occasionally touch you
When you both are alone and having a conversation, she might ‘accidentally’ touch your hand or brush your leg multiple times. She will give you a hug more often than she used to. She might even playfully hit you when you tell a lame joke. It is because she is now comfortable with you and does not refrain from physical contact. This is one of the most obvious signs that she wants you to make a move on her.
Related Reading: 5 Tips To Introduce Your SO To Your Parents
7. She asks you about your family
One of the signs that she wants to be your girlfriend is that she tends to take an interest in your family. She will want to hear childhood stories, know about your parents and siblings, and get to know you better. She will ask you more questions about your family to understand your relationship with them. This is because she wants you to be her boyfriend and hence wants to get to know you at a deeper level.
8. She will include you in all her plans
If she wants to be your girlfriend, she will want to spend most of her time with you. She will include you in almost all of her plans because she wants you by her side. She might make several plans that only involve you two because she wants some alone time with you to figure out if you feel the same way about her. She wants a relationship and needs to know if you do too. If you have been friends for long, these are the signs that you are moving from friend to lovers now.
9. She remembers the smallest things about you
If she wants to be more than a friend she will pay attention to every minute detail and take care of your smallest needs. She will not just listen to you, but will also remember what you tell her. She knows things like how you like your morning coffee or the exact thing that will cheer you up when you feel low. If she remembers things you don’t even remember telling her, it is one of the signs that she wants to be your girlfriend. She practically knows everything about you.
10. Future talks? She wants to be your girlfriend
Amidst those late-night conversations, she will subtly talk about your future together or joke about you being a couple. If she makes long-term future plans with you, she wants a relationship and wants you to be her boyfriend. She may even tease you and will want to analyze your reaction to her suggesting the idea of you both as a couple.
11. She is there for you
A girl who is in love with you will always be there for you through thick and thin. She will be your best friend and confidant and your comfort when you need it the most. She will console you like a partner and stand by you till you feel okay. If she sticks around for the good, bad, and the ugly, she has fallen for you.
12. She confesses her feelings for you
Sometimes when guys can’t figure things out themselves, girls tell them upfront. She has probably dropped enough hints by this point and is tired of waiting for you to make the first move. This takes a lot of courage on her part and she has probably thought it over a billion times in her head. She will tell you she likes you more than a friend and asks you if you feel the same way about her. Do not wait any longer than this to confess your true feelings towards her as well! If you fail to do so at this point, the opportunity is lost for good.
If the girl you like is showing 9 out of these 12 signs, you’re lucky because she definitely doesn’t want to be in the friend zone anymore. The question is whether you’re ready to move forward with her. Don’t wait too long or you might lose her forever. Understand how you feel first before you make your move.
Sometimes men are scared to make the first move as they are afraid they’ll end up ruining a precious friendship they share with their girl. They don’t want to complicate their friendship by acknowledging their feelings as this means risking the friendship in totality. But the truth is, relationships are all about risks and the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward. She deserves the truth and so do you. Don’t let fear ruin something beautiful that you both could share.