“Love between two adults is always conditional. You can fall out of love because you are able to fall in love.” – Bryan Cranston, American actor.
Love, as they say, is a many-splendored thing. Sometimes, when things go awry, there is no option but to let go of the very love that holds the key to your heart. The challenge then is to learn how to fall out of love – for your own sake as well as for that of the other person. It could be romantic love shared between partners or feelings of togetherness and care you share with your friend or sibling. When it ends, it ends.
Whatever is the status of your relationship, the fact is, it takes some effort to fall out of love while the opposite happens rather organically. There is a reality check, you get disappointed, disillusioned and hurt, and then begins the process of weaning away from the object of your attention.
How To Fall Out Of Love With Someone – 18 Tips
There are various reasons why you may need to fall out of love. If your love has remained unreciprocated despite all efforts on your part, there is no point in hanging on to an illusion. In such cases, you better teach your heart how to fall out of love before the emotion overwhelms you. This can be painful.
On the other hand, there are occasions when you simply fall out of love with your husband or wife. There might not be any overt reason or episode that triggered it. The attraction that brought you together might simply not be there. These cases require a bit of tact and skill to break the relationship.
Finally, there are instances when you fall out of love with your friend or someone close to you – even though your relationship is not romantic, they may have done something to cause you pain which results in you wanting to walk out of their life. Such episodes can be difficult as you grapple with how to fall out of love with a person who has meant a lot to you.
Related Reading: How To End A Relationship On Good Terms
But it’s okay. We all go through such moments and you can certainly master how to fall out of love and break the relationship just as you learn how to form it. Here are some tips:
1. Know that it will take time
So you walked out of the relationship with your pride intact. Unfortunately, you hadn’t counted for the weepy nights you’d spend thinking about your ex. Relax, you can’t fall out of love with your ex in a jiffy. Healing takes time so allow yourself to despair and pine for them for a while.
2. Practise journaling
If you are having serious doubts about your relationship or marriage, then practice journaling and write down all that is wrong with your partner. List down why it didn’t work out. Later, when you miss them, this list will remind you why it was necessary to end it and teach you how to fall out of love with your husband or boyfriend.
3. Was it really love?
Many people confuse attraction and infatuation for love. You may be crazy about a guy or girl and when the attention isn’t reciprocated, you feel heartbroken. You don’t need to invest too much time in trying to fall out of love with your crush. Learn the difference between love and lust and move on.
4. Don’t get stuck on them
Easier said than done, we know! When love ends abruptly, it is difficult to look ahead. But give yourself a mental deadline about how long you are going to mourn. The art of how to fall out of love includes setting specific targets for your mind too. Divert your attention, don’t spend too much time ruminating over what could have been.
5. One-sided love
Unrequited love is the toughest to forget. Trying to fall out of love with someone you never dated brings its own set of challenges as the heart keeps pining for something that was never yours. Practice mindfulness that might help you accept the situation for what it is. You can’t really change it, can you?
6. Falling out of love with a married man
Seeing someone who is already committed can be blissful while it lasts but when it ends, it causes double the pain as you feel cheated and let down. When you fall out of love with a married man, try not to wallow in guilt. Put the onus on him too as he is equally responsible for the mess that inevitably rises out of such relationships.
7. Cut off all contact
You can’t get them out of your system unless you get them out of your life. One way to do that is to snap all contacts. Don’t visit the places they do, do not stalk them on social media, don’t ask common friends about them. You don’t need memories needling you over and over again.
Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs A Breakup Is Near And Your Partner Wants To Move On
8. Think of it as a lesson
Friendship gone sour is as tricky as a romantic relationship gone bad. When your best friend lets you down, the pain is immense, and the process of falling out of love with a friend leaves you with feelings of cynicism and wariness. But think of it as a learning experience about trust and boundaries.
9. Do not get into the revenge mode
Men, more than women, can find it difficult to accept their love story is over. When you want to fall out of love with your wife or girlfriend, don’t mess it up further by indulging in a relationship on the rebound. It will lead to no solutions. It will only end up complicating your emotions. Entering rebound relationships to cause your ex pain is a bad idea.
10. Channel your negativity into positivity
Learning how to fall out of love with someone does not involve hating that person (however negative you may feel towards them). You can’t be expected to be a saint but how about using the rejection or lack of love to improve yourself and your situation? Get inspired to rise above the hate. Learn how to fall out of love with the person and fall in love with yourself.
11. Face the fear of being single again
You may know that there is no future in the relationship but carry on because the thought of being single again terrifies you. You are technically trying to fall out of love with someone you can’t be with a person who does not excite you or make you feel special again. Being single and trying to rediscover yourself is a far better option.
12. Do not blame yourself
You don’t have to feel guilty about falling out of love. Relationships evolve with time and it’s best to be honest about your feelings. You may suffer from guilt and wonder how to fall out of love without hurting your special someone but don’t be too harsh on yourself. You ended the relationship because it was not working out, it’s that simple.
13. Increase your connections
To ease your journey into singledom again, try and meet new people. No, it doesn’t mean you go on a dating spree but just ensure you have a larger friends’ circle. Having just fallen out of love with your best friend, you may feel no one can replace them but you are not looking at a substitute. You are essentially looking for friends who will add to your life.
14. Develop new hobbies
Admittedly, you will not be able to forget or forgive. But to fall out of love, you need to distract yourself from the pain point. Do new things, sign up for a class, learn a new craft, join a club. When you learn how to fall out of love, you need to release some feelings to allow new ones to come into your heart. Self-love is a good start point.
15. Don’t hold on to their stuff
If you are still struggling to shake off the feeling, try and get rid of things that remind you of your ex. Get rid of their stuff. You do not need these things to make you feel guilty and confused all over again. You have fallen out of love for a reason, stick to that path alone. Give yourself a clean break and then revisit the feelings later on, more objectively.
Related Reading: Looking up your exes on social media? Is there a point?
16. Learn to live in the present
Your love existed in the past. It is hard to let go of memories but, as we said above, practice the art of living in the ‘now’. Bring a conscious change to your routine, paint a wall with a new color or do something symbolic to release the feelings of being stuck. Yoga and meditation can help you cope with the new realities as well.
17. Seek support from your friends
Your bro gang or gal pals will be your best bet when you are trying to fall out of love. Lean on them and make them aware of your thoughts and feelings. They can be your biggest support system as you try and negotiate your own mixed emotions. They may even provide a fresh perspective for you.
18. Seek counseling
Falling out of love can be a hard process. Whatever be the cause – unrequited love, betrayal, developing feelings for someone else, or realizing you do not complement each other – there will be a huge sense of loss. Do not hesitate to approach a professional if you feel stuck or cannot move on or if you are grappling with coming to terms with the situation.
Life does not stop with one relationship or one person. It’s a long journey and sometimes, despite the best of intentions, things don’t go your way. Love is a strong emotion, but unfortunately, it can come with an expiry date. When it’s over, you just need to accept it’s over.
There is no timeline to falling out of love. It can happen after years of being in a relationship or you might want to snap out of it after the initial flush of love fades off. It depends on the trigger for wanting to end the relationship.
You stop feeling attracted, you do not want to spend time with them, the things that made you infatuated no longer excites you and you realize that you are not compatible with them anymore.
It is impossible to fall out of love with your soulmate. The love may evolve and take a new shape but it will remain in some form or the other. Soulmates are meant to be together.