Falling in love is easy. But ensuring that the love is reciprocated by the one you love is not always possible. Waiting for the one you like to feel the same for you can be a painful experience. You might have to see that person every day and might have to interact with him/her due to professional commitment.
However, deep down in your heart, you know that the person will never love you back, and you might have to let go. In simple words, you have become prey of unrequited love and dealing with it can be arduous and hurtful for you.
What is unrequited love?
Unrequited love = one-sided love = one-way devotion.
If you are a victim of unrequited love, then you will probably think about that person all day long and do anything to get that person’s attention and love. Emotionally, such love is quite draining, because you will never get to experience what it is like to be in a relationship with that person.
Unrequited love is not to be misjudged as just sexual attraction and desire. The sufferer genuinely feels for the other person and has an immense longing for that person. The unrequited lover keeps hoping that one day maybe that person will respond to his/her love. Sometimes the unrequited lover even realises that he/she is wasting time by waiting for that person, but then the desire for that person never dies down. Eventually, the desire might fade, but some of its imprints will still be in the heart of the unrequited lover.
Related reading: Some of the best Bollywood movies that deal with unrequited love
What are the signs of unrequited love?
When you experience unrequited love, you firmly believe that you need that person in your life and that he/she can make you happy. Your love for that person is pure and genuine. But alas! That person might not even know about your feelings or might be aware of them and ignore them, as he/she is not interested. You might feel unrequited love for either a long-time best friend or an unknown person – this depends on the circumstances.
Here are some signs of unrequited love which might help you figure out where you stand in the gamble of love.
- You imagine your future with that person when you might have not even spoken to him/her properly
- You fail to acknowledge the presence of flaws in that person. To you, the person you love seems perfect and ideal in all aspects
- You tend to ignore other meaningful relationships in your life because this person becomes so significant to you. Ultimately, you end up being all alone in life
- Your level of self-esteem goes so low that you engage in some damaging or self-harming behaviour
- The person you love probably ignores your messages and keeps a distance from you
- Your mood depends on how that person behaves with you. You are happy when he/she acknowledges you. But sad when he/she fails to even look at you
- You might become blind to reality and become extremely relentless. You keep hoping that with your efforts you will be able to make that person fall in love with you as well
- Your day begin and ends with that person. You either keep stalking him/her all day, or you orchestrate the events of your day in such a way that he/she can meet you
The pain of being in love with someone who does not love you back can be debilitating and make you suffer tremendously. However, you should not let this affect you in such a disastrous manner. You have to pick yourself up and get ready to explore the world of love waiting for you out there.
Eight ways to get past one-sided love
Understandably, it will be tough for you to accept the fact that someone does not love you back. You keep searching for the flaws in yourself and your hope for a happy future together with that someone gets shattered. But this should not dishearten you. You must learn to get past the unrequited love. Let us go through 8 ways to deal with unrequited love which can serve as a guide to you.
1. Express your love
The first step to overcome unrequited love is to confess to that person that you love him/her. This way, you will not regret that you did not admit. Also, you will get to know what the other person feels about you. This will give you a reality check and help you move on.
2. Accept the rejection graciously
To survive the heartbreak of unrequited love, you will have to accept the rejection graciously. You have to respect the choice that the other person has made. Do not get upset with the refusal, but learn to let go.
Related reading: What is it about one-sided love that keeps us hooked?
3. Try to pursue your passion
You must have invested a lot of energy and time on someone who is not interested in you. Therefore, it is high time you start pursuing your passion and living the life that you deserve. By refocusing your attention on things that you love to do, you will be able to give yourself the time to heal.
4. Make an effort to know the person well
This way, if you have any illusions about him/her, then those will be shattered. Instead of idealising him/her, try to know his/her flaws and shortcomings. This will just allow you to get over the unrequited love faster.
5. Learn to maintain your distance
You must maintain your distance from the person you love if you truly want to get past this hurtful phase. Do not stalk that person’s profile, do not visit places where that person might bump into you, avoid meeting familiar friends – all this will ensure that you have space and time to get over that person.
6. Give a chance to someone new
If you honestly want to get past the unrequited love, then you have to give an opportunity to another person. You have to date other people and try to find the person who matches your wavelength. Eventually, your new relationship will become the centre of your attention, and you will forget about your past love.
7. Pamper yourself
While experiencing unrequited love, you might have forgotten to love yourself. You might have experienced low levels of self-esteem and confidence. So, make sure you boost your confidence and pamper yourself. Take care of your body and mind. Remember you are worthwhile and deserve all the love in the world.
8. Approach a counsellor or therapist for help
In case you realise that you are not able to overcome the unrequited love on your own, then you can take the help of a counsellor/therapist. This will be helpful, especially if you have a habit of falling for people who do not love you back.
You will not be able to get past the one-sided love overnight. However, you have to keep making honest efforts for it, and one day you will emerge as a happier and better person for sure. Just believe in yourself.