How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose: 15 Psychological Tricks

Dating experience | | , Expert Blogger
Updated On: April 17, 2024
how to get your boyfriend to propose

My friend has been living with her man for 2 years. She wants marriage, but the guy doesn’t seem to be in a rush to propose. According to her, that is too much time to continue to live together without marriage. I realized how badly she wanted to take the relationship when she started asking questions about how to get your boyfriend to propose, how much longer she should wait, and whether she should resort to mind games to get that engagement ring. 

I told her, “Just because he hasn’t asked you yet, does not mean that he doesn’t love you or does not see himself spending the rest of his days with you. He is probably just so happy with the way things are that he sees no reason to change them. Maybe you should have an honest conversation and see where his head is at.”

But, in her usual adamant way, that was not the response she was looking for. She still wanted to know what makes a man finally propose and most importantly, how to make him propose. So I compiled a list of 15 tricks she could try. 

15 Psychological Tricks To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose That Almost Always Work 

“Knowing how to make him propose may require some work on your end,” I said to my friend. It may be time to nudge him in the right direction and show him that there is nothing sweeter than finally sealing the deal. Apart from the wedding cake, there are many other incredible reasons to get married.

That being said, coaxing a marriage proposal out of your partner comes with its own set of risks like making you come across as clingy. And we sure don’t want that. Your clueless boyfriend might indeed need a little nudge from you to finally take that leap. So, what is the answer to how to get a boyfriend to propose? It’s time to hit him with the realization that he’s soon got to make his way to Tiffany’s and practice getting down on one knee. Just remember, the key is to keep it subtle.

All you have to do is sit in the gallery, drop fine yet powerful hints, and wait for him to take care of the rest. Trust me, it’s going to be a fun ride. So, with these 15 tricks up your sleeve, you may be getting married real soon. 

Related Reading: 13 Ways To Make Him Realize Your Worth

1. Hold off on discussing marriage too much

Sounds counter-intuitive, we know, but do make this the first step in this list of how to get your boyfriend to propose. The more you put obvious pressure on your boyfriend, the more he might try to resist it. If you keep urging him to get married to you, he will inevitably keep finding reasons not to. 

Have you ever noticed when you try to grasp a handful of sand so tightly, it only slips away through your fingers? He needs to realize on his own that this is the next step in your relationship instead of roping him into it. The aim is not to force him to marry you and end up in a loveless marriage. Instead of constantly asking yourself, “Will he marry me?”, consider doing the following:

  • Take time to assess the stage of the relationship, whether you both want the same things and are ready for marriage
  • Work on building a strong foundation for the relationship
  • Have honest conversations about the relationship
  • Seek support from a professional therapist if you feel you are struggling with clarity on the relationship

Related Reading: Life After The Wedding And The Honeymoon – Post Marriage Life

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2. How to get him to propose without asking: Become close with his family 

How to get your man to propose 101: Impress his family. One of the major indicators that a relationship is meant to tread down the path of marriage is when both partners become comfortable with each other’s families. Once his mom loves you, there’s no denying that you two are going to be in a serious relationship. Who knows, she might even whisper your wishes into his ear? 

When his family sees that you two are compatible and happy together, they too might urge him to pop the question to you soon. Or better yet, form a rapport with his siblings and tell them how you want to marry your boyfriend soon. If they like you enough, consider the job done.

3.  Go to weddings together

We get to see the most exaggerated and yet wonderful depiction of love at wedding ceremonies. People dance their hearts out, cry in happiness for the couple, and bestow endless wishes and happiness upon them. If that doesn’t completely melt your boyfriend’s heart, we don’t know what will.

How to get him to propose without asking, you wonder? Show him just how beautiful the process can be. So whether your sister is getting hitched or it is just the cousin of the roommate of your sister’s best friend, find a way to go to that wedding and take your boyfriend along with you. Casually ask for his opinion about wedding-related things like the choice of flowers or bands at other people’s receptions. Discuss wedding gift ideas with him and maybe then he’ll see how rewarding getting married can be.

4. Be financially responsible 

This is less of a psychological trick and more of a life skill, an important one nonetheless. Your man needs to see that you are mature enough for marriage before he gets ready to pop the question. Dating an independent woman can be quite alluring. If he sees you as a sound woman who uses her financial independence well, he will trust you more when it comes to combining finances.

This trust is foundational to a good marriage anyway. Get your finances sorted so that the pressure doesn’t fall entirely on him. For all you know, he’s sitting there ready to propose marriage but is just waiting for you to show him that you’re ready too. 

Related Reading: My Boyfriend Is Marrying Someone Else And I Am Feeling Broken

5. Awaken the hero instinct in him

how to know he wants to marry you
if you make him feel needed he will want to marry you

Do you want to know how to get your boyfriend to propose ASAP? Well, it is time to trigger his hero instinct. Men, at least most of them, have an innate need to be needed. So, even if you can change that tire in less than a minute, stifle the urge to do that. Call him to come to the rescue. When he feels needed and appreciated, he will be more invested in the relationship. Let’s not forget the confidence boost you give him each time. 

6. Show him what he is missing

This genius trick could well be the answer to how to get your boyfriend to propose. I know it worked like a charm for my friend, Jeanine. She started dragging Peter to all her office parties and introduced him to many other older, married couples. Seeing them, Peter felt like he had been missing out on something. He became more serious about getting his life and finances in order so he could tie the knot with Jeanine soon. Cut to three months later, Jeanine walked into her office wearing a big rock on her finger!

7. Prioritize yourself

Prioritize yourself in the relationship and continue to live your life as an independent woman who goes after what she deserves. Instead of petty plays like trying to make your man jealous, try a more mature approach.

  • Show him that you are happy to do things by yourself
  • Prioritize self-care for your mental and emotional well-being
  • Take up new hobbies or interests and be ok with being alone
  • Lean on your support system more instead of him all the time

On how to get a man to marry you, a Reddit user says, “Give him less of your time and attention, make him feel less adequate, and when he asks you why the shift in energy let him know this has been fun but ultimately you have life goals and you’re not sure if he fits them. If he wants all of you, he needs to marry you.”

Related Reading: Avoidant Attachment: Causes And How it Affects Relationships

8. Talk about your future more

A marriage proposal will become a reality the moment he sees the wholesome picture of you two starting a life together — getting a house, adopting a dog, planning vacations, and starting a family. Talking about the future could be one of the tricks on how to get your boyfriend to propose.

It’s okay for a woman to make the first move. So, talk about how amazing it’d be to share a life and grow old together. Or amazing it’d be to wake up next to each other and enjoy a few quiet moments, as you sip your coffee, before heading out to face the hustle of everyday life. Basically, show him that you are getting ready for your lives to merge.

how to make him propose
Talking about your future may get him to pop the question

9. Be invested in the relationship, but not desperate

How to get a boyfriend to propose, you ask? Instead of being the clingy girlfriend desperate to seem like wifey material, care for him like a mature woman. Don’t call him ten times a day or throw a tantrum if he doesn’t make it home for dinner. Instead,

  • Maintain your independence
  • Nurture your individual interests
  • Set healthy boundaries that accommodate the needs of both you and your partner
  • Work on your growth to increase your self-worth
  • Be patient and allow for a natural progression in the relationship

Instead of stressing about how to get a man to marry you, just focus on being a good girlfriend. The more you care for him, the more you can reassure him that you two are meant to be together.

Related Reading: Avoidant Attachment: Causes And How it Affects Relationships

10. Show him how indispensable you are

To make him want to be married to you, you have to show him just how good it can be for him. You have to do everything you can to make him feel like you are the perfect partner for him. Not to say that you aren’t already, but you’ve got to make it more obvious that you are indeed the one for him.

From memorizing exactly what his coffee order mean to knowing how to placate him on bad days, go out there, and be the woman he wants to marry. And, that is what makes a man finally propose. You should also: 

  • Be supportive and offer genuine encouragement to him
  • Demonstrate that he can count on you
  • Show appreciation for the things he does
  • Be a positive influence and a source of inspiration 
  • Show empathy and understanding so that he always comes to you in times of need
When will he propose? Quiz

11. Tell him how you feel about weddings and rings

“A big ring isn’t that important.” “How beautiful would a wedding at the beach be?” Statements like these can help steer the conversation in the direction you desire. Bring it up while watching a wedding scene on TV or discuss a celebrity getting hitched and then steer the conversation toward what you imagine your dream wedding to be like.

If you are not sure how to get your man to propose, give this a shot. In this indirect way, he will realize that you are already harboring some hopes and aspirations of what a wedding may be like for you. This further indicates that you really are dating for marriage and it might just entice your man to put a spring in his step and move faster.

Related Reading: My boyfriend is very demanding

12. How to get your boyfriend to propose: Give him space

Sounds surprising right? Why would you be giving him space when you are looking for a solution to how to get a man to marry you? But remember, the fact that he hasn’t talked about marriage doesn’t mean he won’t. The truth is that he may simply not be ready. It’s important to learn how and when to talk about marriage with your significant other.

Forcing him to give you that engagement ring won’t work. There are many tips we can give on how to get your boyfriend to propose but forcing him isn’t one of them. After all a relationship can work only if both partners want the same things.

On how to know he wants to marry you, a Reddit user says, “He won’t propose until he’s ready to. It’s not about you being a good cook or housewife or sexual partner. He’ll ask you to marry him when he’s ready to take that plunge. If you try to trick him or force him to propose, it won’t end well.”

more on dating tips

13. Make him miss you

Have you ever wondered about the phrase absence makes the heart grow fonder? If you want to know how to get your boyfriend to propose, trying this old adage might just do the trick. ‘Forget’ to call him back, start planning weekly girls’ night outs with your friends, or take a solo trip. Give him a chance to miss you and experience what his life would be like without you around.

My cousin, Normani, was so tired of waiting for her boyfriend, Andrew, to propose that she pulled back completely and went on a girls’ trip to the Dominican Republic. While Andrew was more than okay with this, her absence left quite a mark on him. After this, combined with a few other tricks, it didn’t take long for Andrew to realize that he just couldn’t live without her.

Related Reading: Eternal Love: What It Is And Does It Really Exist?

14. Take the money pressure off of him

Conversations around finances could be the response to how to make him propose. For all you know, the real reason he is holding off on asking you to marry him is that he’s saving up to buy you a ring. Little does he know that you don’t care all that much about the ring but only about speeding up the process (unless you do). If you are sure a big fancy ring or wedding doesn’t matter to you, let your partner know.

Mention to him that a big ring isn’t important for marriage or say something cute like, “Even a Play-Doh ring is beautiful when you’re marrying the right person.” It’s not, but he gets it. Pro-tip: Put this line in your wedding vows.

15. Tell him your future expectations

Cut to the chase if you want to know how to make a man marry you in 30 days. If none of the above tricks have given you your desired results, it’s a sign you now have to really put your foot down. To get that engagement ring, you might just have to spell your wishes out clearly. And that can be as simple as going up to him and asking for a timeline. You need to:

  • Reflect on your expectations before broaching the topic with him
  • Be mindful of the time and place to have the discussion
  • Have clarity on what you want
  • Be ready to listen to his perspective and find a middle-ground
  • Have realistic expectations, as things may not go your way

Remember, don’t give him an ultimatum, but just give him a clear sign that you want to take things to the next level. He may then show signs he wants to marry you too.

Key Pointers

  • Laying down your expectations may be the best answer to how to make a man marry you in 30 days
  • Instead of focusing on the question, will he marry me, try to live your life. If he doesn’t see your value, someone else will
  • How to make him propose could require that you stop discussing marriage altogether to avoid too much pressure on him
  • How to know he wants to marry you: He discusses the future with you and includes you in his plans

On that note, this list of how to get your boyfriend to propose finally comes to an end. The important thing to remember here is to not deceive him. Give him a few shockers and realizations but don’t cause any emotional harm to him. At the end of the day, he is still the love of your life. More importantly, if he’s not ready to marry yet, be receptive to that too.

FAQs

1. How long should you wait for a man to propose?

As they say, “When it’s right, it’s right.” Your gut feeling will tell when is the perfect time to ask this very special question to your special woman. Ideally, date for at least 1-2 years before getting engaged. You should give your relationship this time to get to know each other well enough to spend a lifetime together.

2. What do you do when your boyfriend won’t propose?

Before directly asking him about his plans for marriage, you can play a few tricks to speed up the process. Slide in subtle hints about a perfect wedding or your future together into your regular conversations. Attend a few weddings with him and cross your fingers that his heart will warm up so that he cannot wait to see you walking down that aisle. Be so caring, sensitive, and sensible, that he cannot look in any other direction for a better match.

3. What keeps a man from proposing?

It could be his financial status. Until he is sure about giving you a comfortable life, he is probably postponing the proposal. He should also be able to see you as a responsible and mature person who can take care of the home and the families standing by his side.

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