Do you think only girls can be clingy in a relationship? Well, you’re surely mistaken, because nowadays boys tend to be equally needy. We have heard endless complains from our girlfriends telling us about their clingy boyfriend.
Of course, it is good to be emotional, needy and mushy at times, but only to an extent that it is bearable. If it goes beyond the tolerance level of a person it can create distance in the relationship and ultimately endanger it.
Being a possessive and emotionally needy boyfriend who is totally obsessed with someone only makes the relationship difficult to survive. Respecting each other’s privacy and space is really important to build a long-lasting relationship and for making each moment spent together more memorable.
You will not even know when your perfect partner turns into a clingy boyfriend. He might have been someone who re-instilled your faith in the dating process and helped you believe in true love.
But once in the relationship, he makes you feel suffocated and you think to yourself, “Why is my boyfriend clingy and needy all of a sudden?” If yes, then going through this article will surely help you deal with your needy boyfriend.
Why do guys become clingy?
Adults who are in a romantic relationship fall into either of the two categories of attachment style-
- First is the ‘secure attachment style‘ in which they value each other’s personal space and time. They do not feel devastated by the thought of being away from their partners for long periods of time. This attachment style becomes the basis of secure and healthy relationships
- Second is ‘insecure attachment style‘ in which a person falls into either of these two types-
- Anxiously attached is someone who is too dependent on the partner and is constantly anxious that the partner will leave him/her. A dependent partner is anxiously attached
- Someone who avoids attachment and thus remains emotionally detached from the partner. The insecure attachment style gives rise to messy and unhealthy relationships
Related Reading: 23 signs of an unhealthy relationship
A person who becomes clingy basically falls into the category of anxiously attached, because he/she continuously needs support and closeness from the partner, which eventually creates conflict and distance in the relationship.
Reasons a person may exhibit clingy behaviour are-
- The person might have low levels of self-esteem
- He/she might fear abandonment
- Stresses and strains of a modern-day life make the person needy emotionally and physically
- Your emotionally needy boyfriend might exhibit high levels of insecurity and jealousy
- He/she remains highly self-conscious at all times
- The person might have unresolved childhood issues
Is Your Partner Emotionally Dependent? Here Are Some Clingy Boyfriend Signs
Confused as to when cute possessiveness turns into too clingy and needy? Do not worry, as here are some signs that will help you identify your clingy boyfriend immediately.
1. Your clingy boyfriend constantly checks on you
The first of the clingy boyfriend signs is when your partner continuously contacts you via phone calls or desperate text messages when you are away. At the start of the relationship, it might be pleasing to have someone who cares for you and keeps tabs on you.
However, over time if you feel that your partner is constantly interested in what you are doing the entire day and keeps calling you or texting you for every little piece of information which can get quite bugging.
2. He gets a mini heart attack if you do not reply on time
In case you fail to respond on time to the clingy guy’s text messages and calls, it will make your needy boyfriend overly jittery and nervous. This behaviour is absolutely not normal especially if it happens several times. So make sure you pay heed to the clingy boyfriend signs and warning signals on time.
3. Your social media profiles get his undivided attention
This means that your needy boyfriend will be found visiting your social media profiles a little more than normal. He might be overly curious about your posts and stories and even about your followers. He might even have problems with you befriending or chatting with another person on social media.
4. Your clingy boyfriend needs to be in touch with you, literally
Whether you are in public or alone with your partner, you will notice that he will keep looking for ways to be in touch with you constantly. Even while sleeping, you will find him cuddling you in a protective manner and will have issues if you want your own space. This might become uncomfortable for you in the long run.
5. He hates plans made by you that leave him out
Each and every time you plan an outing with your close friends or relatives, do you find your dependent partner making excuses to stop you or to tag along? If yes, then this is one of the clingy boyfriend signs. He will hate plans that leave him out and make him worry about what you are doing without him.
6. Your partner distances himself from his friends
The thought of spending time away from you can actually make a clingy boyfriend very anxious. As a result, he will obviously prefer spending all his spare time with you instead of his friends. This is unhealthy because your needy boyfriend will distance himself from his friends and in the process end up being all alone and needier.
7. He gives up his own hobbies and interests too
Did you get attracted to your boyfriend because of the unique hobbies and interests he pursued? Well and good, but if you notice him giving up his own hobbies and interests once you’re in the relationship, then something is certainly amiss. He will probably pursue hobbies and interests you cherish to feel secure and happy in the relationship.
8. Your dependent partner fails to express his opinions
It is very important for the survival of a healthy relationship that both partners express themselves honestly. However, a clingy boyfriend will make your perspective his own perspective and fail to express himself frankly, because you will be the centre of his world and he does not want to drive you away.
He might stop being honest to his own self to please you.
9. He is just too friendly with your relatives or friends
Well, obviously you want your boyfriend to be close to your relatives and friends. But you must always take things at their own pace. If you find your partner texting your best friend or planning outings with your relatives behind your back, then it means he is taking it too fast and is becoming clingy.
10. Your clingy boyfriend gets jealous easily
It does not take much for your needy boyfriend to have a jealous outburst. He is insecure and it’s more than obvious sometimes. He’s visibly jealous of your guy friends and any guys you have a lot of interaction with.
Relationship red flag right here.
How To Deal With A Clingy Boyfriend
Dealing with a clingy boyfriend can be very daunting and some of you might prefer breaking up. However, you must be understanding and try to work things out and use breaking up as the last resort. Below are certain tips to handle a clingy boyfriend:
- Communicate with each other as much as possible: Until and unless you take a step forward and give him a helping hand, you will not be able to deal with your needy boyfriend. Listen to his grievances and insecurities. Once you listen to him, make sure you put forward your opinion as well in a polite and loving manner. Communicating with each other is essential to clear misunderstandings and for building a truthful relationship
- Reconsider the feelings you have for him: If you think your boyfriend is clingy, then it means that something is going wrong in the relationship. The problem might not be with him but with you. You might not be as invested in the relationship as he is and hence might find him too needy. So take a step back and see whether you really do like him or not
- Assert yourself in a firm but nice way: It is essential that you take a stand and assert yourself as and when required when it comes to your dependent partner. If you need time on your own or want to spend the day with your friends apart from your boyfriend, then make sure you tell him that nicely but firmly. Be diplomatic when you have to turn him down and make him realise that your personal time is important
- Shower him with reasonable love and care: Your boyfriend will become clingy if he thinks you love him less and might run off to another person. So why not defuse his anxiousness and give him reasonable love and care? Assure him that he is the one for you and he does not have to keep tabs on you all day long. Compliment him and appreciate him to let him know he is important in your life
- Ensure that your boyfriend spends time with his friends: Encourage your boyfriend to go and spend time with his friends or invite his friends over for a night out at your place. All this will help him reconnect with his friends and thus lessen his emotional dependency on you
How do I tell my boyfriend he’s too clingy
Is this a question that plagues you? You desperately need space in the relationship and have no option but to let him know. Here’s how to do it:
- Be honest but not blunt: It is important to be honest about how you feel about your clingy boyfriend but you should still make sure you do not hurt his feelings
- Ask him about his feelings: There could be a possibility that your needy boyfriend is behaving this way due to some underlying reason that you aren’t aware of yet. Hence, it is important to ask him about his feelings
- Hear him out: If he shares his issues and problems with you or tells you about a particular thing that is making him insecure, make sure you hear him out properly
- Know what you want from him: You must know what you want from him and the relationship before you start the conversation with him. Once you do, stick to your guns and explain the matter to him
- Explain your views calmly: Explain to your clingy boyfriend why you feel the way you do and do this with calm composure. Make sure you do not lose your cool and as anger has a way of ruining things
Understanding your clingy boyfriend should be a priority because you know he might clingy because of his love for you. Sometimes even you might have been clingy with him, right? So deal with him lovingly and help your relationship succeed. Good luck!