It took Pam so long to realize that she truly liked Jim in The Office. Even Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine took her sweet time in accepting that she had the hots for Jake. If only someone had been there to hurry things along; to tell them that their feelings were definitely romantic. Well, I’m going to be that someone for you today. I’ve curated this fantabulous list on how to know if you have a crush on someone.
Maybe you’re confused about your romantic feelings. Or maybe you want a good friend to confirm it for you. Your questions have reached me loud and clear, and these telltale signs will be your guiding light as you unravel the true nature of your feelings. Let the red-carpet roll…
What Does Having A Crush Feel Like?
I simply cannot talk about having a romantic crush on someone without singing along to Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Let’s all take a moment and do some karaoke from our respective screens:
“If you could see that I’m the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So, why can’t you see?
You belong with me”
This is pretty much what a crush feels like. A cocktail of excitement, nervousness, and hope. Liking someone romantically means wanting to be around them. It also means letting them live rent-free in your head. And letting them be the reason you change five shirts in a row because “red isn’t really bringing out my eyes”. (This is something my friend actually did to get a girl’s attention at work.)
As lovely as the feeling sounds, diagnosing a crush is no piece of cake; it calls for a lot of introspection and a lot of attention to detail. Once the realization dawns on you, it feels like you’re a marshmallow (I can’t explain it, just take my word). As our favorite Scarlett Johansson said, “Crushing on someone is so nice. It feels like you’re alive, you know?” Without further ado, let’s dive into a few signs you have a crush on a certain someone by understanding the psychology behind a crush.
17 Signs You Have A Crush On Someone
In all honesty, if you’re asking how to know if you have a crush on someone, you probably like them already. Even if you’re wondering, “Why do I have a crush on someone I barely know?” No one goes looking around for crush signs unless they want to find them. But I think you’re confused about the nature of your liking; is it strictly platonic love, is it cute and romantic? And boy, do you want to be sure of things.
You don’t want to date someone and realize that you both were better off as friends. Clarity prevents heartbreak and pain! Be your most objective self as you go through these markers. You can’t know if you really have a crush on someone without being honest to yourself. Now enough with the chit-chat. Here we go:
1. You want to be around them
That’s our easiest tip on how to know if you have a romantic interest in someone. The first physiological sign is your tendency to be around them. Are you drawn to them instinctively, no matter what? It’s exactly how Ross used to feel around Rachel all the time. The setting doesn’t matter, neither does the conversation. Just being in their proximity is something you do by default.
If you’re hanging out in a group, you somehow manage to be by their side, engaging them one on one. You can peg this as a general fondness for sure – But who are we kidding? What’s that thing people say? “In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.”
Related Reading: 27 Sure Shot Signs Your Crush Likes You
2. Rapid heart rate and butterflies in your stomach
The nervous system is always right. It gives you signals long before you recognize your different emotions. The heat rising to the cheeks as you blush, your posture mirroring theirs, not being able to take your eyes off them, the happy hormones kicking in, and you feel butterflies in your stomach multiplying by the moment – These are clear signs you have a crush on a guy or a girl.
You might have noticed that you’re nervous around your (possible) crush. The slight goof-ups in speech, the fidgety hands, a tapping foot perhaps. This is your body’s way of saying, “Cutie alert!” There will be a marked difference in how you (physiologically) feel around the person in question. Body language and attraction go hand in hand.
Scientific research shows that this act of mirroring is a sign someone has a crush. If you mirror their body language and won’t stop with all the eye contact, there’s definitely physical attraction involved. This doesn’t just end at absorbing vocabulary or gesticulations. If they mention having read a book, you may read it too just to share a commonality with them.
3. You may have a crush if you can’t stop thinking about them
This is a bittersweet feature of liking another person. Daydreaming is wonderful with its rosy fantasies but it is also a phenomenal waste of time and energy. Their thoughts run marathons in your mind and you can’t help but lose yourself.
Has this been the case with you lately? Do the most random things remind you of them? I once had a crush on a guy who was a distant acquaintance and a steam iron reminded me of him. I still don’t know why. Crushes are weird.
4. How to know if you have a crush on someone? Their two cents matter
When we’ve got a crush, their two cents are more like two dollars. No, really! Their opinion takes precedence over the sanest advice. Picture this: You’re working on a group project with your classmates (possible crush included) and you all are struggling to reach a consensus on the topic. Your object of interest recommends something, and your friend suggests the contrary.
Whose opinion do you naturally gravitate toward? I bet it’s option A. In most cases, you will value their perspective a lot, even agree with it. The next time you find yourself nodding your head to what they’re saying, consider the implications behind the same. I’ll also put in a word of caution: Make sure that you don’t cross the line of having a crush by jumping into limerence which is toxic.
5. You dress/act differently around them
How to know if you have strong feelings for someone? Being mindful of your appearance is a dead giveaway of budding attraction. Brushing extra carefully, styling your hair well, or smoothing down your shirt before you meet them are all telltale signs of what’s cooking in the love department.
Related Reading: 70 Questions To Ask Your Crush And Know Him Better
If you’re an individual who doesn’t usually care much for dressing up, you’ll feel a shift in your attitude too. It might be something as unconscious as patting down your frizzy hair while talking to your sweetheart. Crush signs manifest in the little things. So, paying attention to your behavior patterns is very important.
Relationship coach and licensed marriage counselor Joie Bose says, “When a guy is in the company of a woman he is secretly attracted to, he will touch his hair often for support and reassurance. To see if it’s in place. This is the way his vulnerability comes out in front of someone he likes. This is among the sure-shot involuntary signs of attraction. In front of his friends, he wouldn’t care two hoots about how his hair looks.”
6. Stalker much?
Do you think you have a crush on him? To confirm, check your social media activity. Chances are that your special someone is at the top of your search history. If you both are close friends, then they’ll be your most frequently contacted person too. Perhaps you post specific things for them on your social media accounts (you know exactly what I mean).
Maybe you’ve screenshotted a photo of them, and maybe you’re trying to muster the courage to drop a text. All the shy guys might be trying to get a girl to like them over text because it’s a low-pressure situation. Well, here’s the motivation you need – Send that text, spark the conversation already!
7. That person makes you feel warm
Now, this is not applicable if you’re having a crush on someone you barely know. This is for my amigos who are quite well-acquainted with their possible crushes and are even friends with them. All of you will feel comfortable in spending time with your romantic interests. Even if you have trust issues generally, this particular equation will feel safe to you.
There will be an ease in your communication; your dynamic will be effortless. By extension, you will have placed a certain amount of faith in them. It might feel a little like a warm cocoon of familiarity and fondness. You feel you’re on the right track.
Searching for the psychology behind a crush, we turn to dating coach and family therapist Pooja Priyamvada for more insights. She says, “Holding space for someone means letting them process and express their feelings, remaining there to support them without any judgment or unasked-for suggestion.” So, you really like them if you hold space for them in the following ways:
- When they share vulnerabilities, you always listens without criticism/judgment
- You nod along and even ask follow-up questions
- You try to understand where they’re coming from
8. How to know if you have a crush on someone? The BFF factor
Your mutual friends probably tease you a lot these days. They’ve got an inkling of your feelings because their bird’s eye view of the situation is helpful. In general, those around us tend to pick up on our emotions and tendencies quickly. If your friends keep shipping you with someone (while you vehemently deny it), you should have a good think.
I have noted my BFF’s crushes every single time before she becomes aware of them herself. In these events, I have sat her down and presented my observations in an organized manner. And then she’d had her “oh” moment. Listen to your buddies, that’s our best tip on how to know if you have a crush on someone.
9. You orchestrate a run-in
Don’t lie to me, I know you’ve done this. Everyone has. When you orchestrate a run-in with someone, your heart has been taken. Planned ‘oops’ moments are the precursors of romance. And they come in all forms and manners. Maybe you frequent a café that’s their favorite. Or you send the ‘wrong text’ by accident (as if that’s a thing).
These faux internet oopsies are a brilliant way of discerning if you’ve got a crush on someone online. Do you say things like “Wrong chat, sorry”? And follow it up with an explanation that you KNOW will start a conversation. All these tactics are an indicator of one obvious fact: You’d do anything for that person’s attention. Well, a better idea is to use a conversation starter instead.
10. You have a hard time when they give someone undivided attention
I simply love watching different people get jealous. And that too for an individual who is not even a romantic partner yet. There’s no reason for them to be possessive. Yet, their eyes narrow, eyebrows furrow, and hopes tank. Think of the last time you were unsettled because of your crush’s interaction with someone else. Perhaps you were surprised by your own feelings. Jealousy and romance are quite connected: Where love dwells, jealousy follows.
If the (pardon my cliché) green-eyed monster has reared its head in your mind, then maybe there’s more to your feelings than an innocent liking. When you get ticked off about them going on a date, ask yourself a very important question – Why do I care??
11. Conversations circle back to the crush
Here comes one of the biggest signs you have a crush on a guy: You keep talking about him. No matter where the conversation starts, you circle back to him or something related to him.
Say, you’re talking to a friend about work stress or your annoying boss. Four minutes later, you’re talking about how that guy is great at his job. And you’re probably unaware of when the topic transitioned. His name comes up a lot in conversation (A LOT), and people might be starting to notice that too. Interesting. Very interesting.
Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Crush On Friend Is More Than It Seems
12. All in the details
And you, who couldn’t remember your own phone number, now remember that person’s mum’s middle name and its origin story. For the first time, you have an elephant’s memory. I have a wild story for everyone trying to know if you have a crush on someone of the same gender.
My friend, Maria, was in two minds about a coworker (Kimberly) of hers. The girl gang decided to do a fun rapid-fire where they asked questions about Kim to Maria. “What’s her favorite color? What was she wearing yesterday? Does she take her coffee with milk?” And Maria answered each of them instantly. Long story short, she’s been with Kim for a year now.
13. How to know if you have a crush on someone? Your mind is a good place to be in
Allow me to get a little racy. While this might not be applicable to all of you, a good percentage will relate to what I’m saying. Sexual fantasies about the individual in question are quite common. Vivid scenarios might run through your mind where you both are up to all kinds of hanky-panky.
You might’ve passed this off as a temporary fancy but I’m here to contradict you. Sexual attraction is a very important component of genuine feelings. So, when you wonder how to know if you have a crush on someone, I point to the sexy thought bubble over your head.
14. You jump to their defense
“I swear he looks better in yellow lighting,” a friend says about your special someone. And there’s an INSTANT reaction from you. Why so defensive? If anyone passes a not-so-nice comment on the object of your affection, you jump to their defense like a valiant knight. It could be a friend, a colleague, your boss, or your parents. The comment could’ve been very nonchalant. You, however, take it as an affront.
Get real with me for a second – Have you come to that person’s defense in a flash at any point? It could’ve been something as innocent as, “He’s not ‘that’ bad.” For the record, I think it’s cute. And I’ll let you in on a secret; I deliberately say something snarky about my friend’s possible crushes so they can come to the golden realization themselves.
A Reddit user wrote, “This is probably more the ones who are a bit awkward, but I have this bad tendency of glossing over the negatives of women I am into. So if I am saying a lot of nice things about a girl, I’m probably either naïve, interested, or both.”
15. You like them before you LIKE them
This is really important food for thought. The foundation of a healthy crush or any secure relationship is general respect for the other person. Before liking them romantic-style, you like them person-style. You hold them in high regard and think of them as a good human being.
As you read this, you’re looking back to your time with them. Do you feel like you’re savoring a mouthful of hot chocolate? Is the warmth spreading all the way to your tummy? They’re so nice, aren’t they? Just adorable. Still thinking how to know if you have a crush on someone? Probably not.
16. You can’t stop smiling
“Yo bro, who got you smiling like that?” Do you get tongue-tied when you’re feeling excited? As Koi Fresco said, “The people who make you smile from just seeing them, those are my favorite people.” Think about your own favorite people for a moment. Is that person on the list? I bet they are.
If they are the reason behind your goofy grin, if their presence is enough to make your heart race, and you feel excited when you’re with them, then you’ve got yourself a crush. The smiles are how you know if you really have a crush on someone. Take a chance and ask her out on a date, you might just get a good surprise.
17. Flirting is one of the obvious signs you have a crush
Maybe you’ve taken yourself by surprise recently. While talking to your crush, did you let a saucy retort slip? Or did a midnight conversation lead you to drop an unconscious hint? You must have been as astonished as them. But this slip of text has made things clear – You have a crush on someone online and you want to get flirty.
Don’t try to reign it in, please. Go all out with your feelings, and flirt like a pro! That “I want to” is a sufficient reason to do something.
- If you look for excuses to be in physical proximity with a person, you certainly like them a lot
- Another sign is that you dress well and take care of your looks when you meet them
- If you keep daydreaming about them and don’t want to come back to real life, it’s a crush
- Another indicator is that you always have a good time with them
So. How did you fare? You think you have a crush on him/her? The next step is figuring out if they are on the same page. Are there any signs of mutual attraction present? If yes, then go about planning the perfect proposal to seal the deal. I’m so thrilled for you. Remember, things happen if you make them happen.
On the off chance that you don’t like the person you thought you did, it’s good news in a way of speaking. You have clarity and can focus on leading your best life. And the next time you like someone, there won’t be two ways about it. You can thank me for these handy tips later.