It took Pam so long to realize that she truly liked Jim in The Office. Even Amy from Brooklyn Nine-Nine took her sweet time in accepting that she had the hots for Jake. If only someone had been there to hurry things along; to tell them that their feelings were definitely romantic. Well, we’ve all been through this agony at some point, not being able to differentiate between romantic feelings and platonic love. Or simply being in denial about how we feel about some. If that’s where you’re at right now, I’m here to help with a list of irrefutable signs that address the dilemma of how to know if you have a crush on someone.
Maybe you’re confused about your romantic feelings. Or maybe you want a good friend to put a stamp of confirmation that what you’re experiencing is indeed a romantic attraction. Perhaps, you don’t want to face the reality of your feelings because you’ve fallen for your best friend and don’t want to risk ruining your friendship. Or you could simply be wrestling with emotional baggage that has made you wary of romantic love.
Whatever the reason that has you wondering how to know if you like someone, instead of proclaiming. “I have a crush on you”, the fact is, once feelings take hold, it’s hard to keep them buried. The harder you try, the stronger they get. So, my friend, together, let’s face the truth and unravel the true nature of your feelings.
What Does Having A Crush Feel Like?
Table of Contents
How to know if you have feelings for someone, you ask? I simply cannot offer answers or talk about having a romantic crush on someone without singing along to Taylor Swift’s You Belong With Me. Let’s all take a moment and do some karaoke from our respective screens:
“If you could see that I’m the one
Who understands you
Been here all along
So, why can’t you see?
You belong with me”
This is pretty much what a crush feels like — a cocktail of excitement, nervousness, and hope. Liking someone romantically means wanting to be around them. It also means letting them live rent-free in your head. And letting them be the reason why you change five shirts in a row because “red isn’t bringing out my eyes”. (My friend did this to get a girl’s attention at work.)
As lovely as the feeling sounds, diagnosing a crush is no piece of cake; it calls for a lot of introspection and a lot of attention to detail. Once the realization dawns on you, it feels like you’re a marshmallow — soft, squishy, and ready to melt in the warm embrace of that special someone whose thoughts have been keeping you up at night.
As our favorite Scarlett Johansson said, “Crushing on someone is so nice. It feels like you’re alive, you know?” Finding answers to questions like, “Do I have a crush on someone?”, “Do I like her?” or “Do I have feelings for him?”, becomes that much easier when you accept all of these feelings bustling inside of you. To help you move toward that acceptance, let’s take a closer look at some clear signs you have a crush.
How To Know If You Like Someone — 20 Signs You Have A Crush
In all honesty, if you’re wondering how to know if you have a crush on someone, you probably like them already. Even if you’re wondering, “Why do I have a crush on someone I barely know?” No one goes looking around for crush signs unless they want to find them. But I think you’re confused about the nature of feelings; is it strictly platonic love, or are you developing romantic feelings? And boy, you do want to be sure of this before you go ‘fessing up, “I have a crush on you.”
After all, the alternative is that you confess to having a crush on someone, ask them out, and as you start dating, you realize your feelings were not what you thought they were. Or maybe, that you were better off as friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or whatever it is you were before this leap. That can set into motion a cycle of heartbreak and pain. To prevent that, you’ve got to be your most objective self as you go through these markers.
How to know if you have feelings for someone, you wonder? Well, being honest with yourself is the first prerequisite. With complete honesty and objectivity view these signs you have a crush and see if you can relate to them:
1. You want to be around them
If you have been wondering how to know if you like someone, here is an easy yardstick for you: a desire to be around that person all the time. Are you drawn to them instinctively, no matter what? The setting doesn’t matter, neither does the conversation. Just being in their proximity is something you do by default. If you’re hanging out in a group, you somehow manage to be by their side, engaging them one-on-one. You can peg this as a general fondness for sure but who are we kidding? What’s that thing people say? “In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.”
Related Reading: 27 Sure Shot Signs Your Crush Likes You
2. Rapid heart rate, butterflies in the stomach — you feel it in your body
The nervous system is always right. When you begin to catch feelings for someone, you feel it in your body long before your mind accepts what’s going on. This gives way to some physiological signs you have a crush on a guy or a girl:
- The heat rises to the cheeks as you blush
- Your posture mirrors theirs
- Not being able to take your eyes off them
- The happy hormones kicking in
- Feeling butterflies in your stomach multiplying by the moment
- Being nervous and fidgety around your crush — slight goof-ups in speech, unsteady hands, a tapping foot perhaps
This is your body’s way of saying, “Cutie alert!” There will be a marked difference in how you (physiologically) feel around the person in question. Body language and attraction go hand in hand.
3. You may have a crush if you can’t stop thinking about them
Do I like her? Do I have feelings for him? Do I really like him or just the attention? Oh, the dilemma of how to tell if you have a crush on someone! But if you just tune into the changes in your thoughts patterns and behaviors, the answer becomes apparent. One such bittersweet indicator that you have a crush on someone is the endless loop of daydreaming about them. While it’s wonderful to lose yourself in the rosy fantasies, it is also a phenomenal waste of time and energy.
Their thoughts run marathons in your mind and you can’t help but lose yourself. Has this been the case with you lately? Do the most random things remind you of them? I once had a crush on a guy who was a distant acquaintance and a steam iron reminded me of him. I still don’t know why. Crushes are weird.
4. You begin to value their opinion
When we’ve got a crush, their two cents are more like two dollars. No, really! Their opinion takes precedence over the sanest advice. Picture this: You’re working on a group project with your classmates (possible crush included) and you all are struggling to reach a consensus on the topic. Your object of interest recommends something, and your friend suggests the contrary.
Whose opinion do you naturally gravitate toward? I bet it’s option A. In most cases, you will value their perspective a lot, even agree with it. One of the clear answers to how to know if you have a crush on someone is that more often than not, you find yourself nodding in agreement with whatever that someone has to say. I’ll also put in a word of caution: Make sure that you don’t cross the line of having a crush by jumping into limerence which is toxic.
5. You dress/act differently around them
Wondering how to know if you like someone? Being self-conscious and a little too aware of your appearance is a dead giveaway of budding attraction. Brushing extra carefully, styling your hair well, or smoothing down your shirt before you meet them are all telltale signs of what’s cooking in the love department.
Related Reading: 70 Questions To Ask Your Crush And Know Him Better
If you typically don’t care much for dressing up, you’ll feel a tectonic shift in your attitude. It might be something as unconscious as patting down your frizzy hair while talking to your sweetheart. Crush signs manifest in the little things. So, paying attention to your behavior patterns is very important.
Relationship coach Joie Bose says, “When a guy is in the company of a woman he is secretly attracted to, he will touch his hair often for support and reassurance. To see if it’s in place. This is the way his vulnerability comes out in front of someone he likes. This is among the sure-shot involuntary signs of attraction. In front of his friends, he wouldn’t care two hoots about how his hair looks.”
6. Stalker much?
Do I have a crush on someone? Do I like her? Do I have feelings for him? To find the answers to these questions, check your social media activity. Chances are that your special someone is at the top of your search history. If you both are close friends, then they’ll be your most frequently contacted person too. Perhaps you post specific things for them on your social media accounts (you know exactly what I mean).
Maybe you’ve screenshotted a photo of them. Or you’re trying to muster the courage to drop a text but aren’t sure if it’s even possible to get a girl to like you over text or grab a guy’s attention by simply sliding into DMs. Well, here’s the motivation you need – Send that text, spark the conversation already!
7. That person makes you feel warm
This is for my amigos who are quite well-acquainted with their possible crushes and are even friends with them. All of you will feel comfortable spending time with your romantic interests. Even if you have trust issues generally, this particular equation will feel safe to you.
By extension, you will have placed a certain amount of faith in them. It might feel a little like a warm cocoon of familiarity and fondness. You feel you’re on the right track.
Dating coach Pooja Priyamvada says, “When you feel safe with someone, you don’t hesitate to express your feelings because you know the other person won’t respond with judgment or unsolicited suggestion.” So, if you’ve been wondering how to tell if you have a crush on someone, see if:
- There will be an ease in your communication
- Your dynamic feels effortless
- You feel safe being vulnerable with them
- You trust that this person will always try to understand your perspective
8. Your BFFs know you have a crush on someone
How to know if you have a crush on someone, you ask? Well, simply ask your BFFs or the inner circle of your girl gang. They’d have an inkling about your feelings, especially if this crush is a mutual friend or someone they know or know of their equation with you. In general, those closest to us tend to pick up on our emotions quickly.
I have noted my BFF’s crushes every single time before she becomes aware of them herself. In these events, I have sat her down and presented my observations in an organized manner. And then she’d had her “oh” moment. Listen to your buddies, that’s our best tip on how to tell if you have a crush on someone.
9. You orchestrate a run-in
Don’t lie to me, I know you’ve done this. Everyone has. When you orchestrate a run-in with someone, your heart has been taken. Planned ‘oops’ moments are the precursors to romance. And they come in all forms and manners. Maybe you frequent a café that’s their favorite. Or you send the ‘wrong text’ by accident (as if that’s a thing).
Do you say things like, “Wrong chat, sorry”? And follow it up with an explanation that you KNOW will start a conversation. All these tactics are an indicator of one obvious fact: You’d do anything for that person’s attention. Well, a better idea is to use a conversation starter instead.
10. You have a hard time when they give someone undivided attention
I simply love watching different people get jealous. And that too for an individual who is not even a romantic partner yet. There’s no reason for them to be possessive. Yet, their eyes narrow, eyebrows furrow and hopes tank. Think of the last time you were unsettled because of your crush’s interaction with someone else. Perhaps you were surprised by your own feelings. Jealousy and romance are quite connected: Where love dwells, jealousy follows.
If the (pardon my cliché) green-eyed monster has reared its head in your mind, then maybe there’s more to your feelings than an innocent liking. When you get ticked off about them going on a date, ask yourself a very important question – Why do I care? In that answer, you may find the answer to the question, “Do I like her/him?
11. Conversations circle back to the crush
Here comes one of the biggest signs you have a crush on a guy or a girl: You keep talking about him/her. No matter where the conversation starts, you circle back to them. For example, say you’re talking to a friend about work stress or your annoying boss. Four minutes later, you’re talking about how that specific someone is great at their job.
You’re probably unaware of when the topic transitioned. Their name comes up a lot in conversation (A LOT), and people might be starting to notice that too. Interesting. Very interesting. Still want to how to tell if you have a crush on someone or is the writing on the wall clear enough for you to accept the undercurrent of feelings?
Related Reading: 11 Signs Your Crush On Friend Is More Than It Seems
12. You remember all the little details about them
To decipher how to know if you like someone, turn your attention to your memory. Quiz yourself on the things you remember about the person who seems to be taking up so much of your headspace. What’s their favorite ice cream flavor? At what age did they learn to ride a bike? Who was their first crush? What’s their phone number?
You, who couldn’t remember your own phone number, now remember that person’s mum’s middle name and its origin story. For the first time, you have an elephant’s memory. This should tell you all you need to know about the nature of your feelings for them. You don’t have to worry about whether you’re mistaking infatuation for love or romantic feelings.
This is how we helped my friend, Maria, work through her dilemma about her feelings for her coworker, Kimberly. The girl gang decided to do a fun rapid-fire where they asked questions about Kim to Maria. “What’s her favorite color? What was she wearing yesterday? Does she take her coffee with milk?” And Maria answered each of them instantly. Long story short, she’s been with Kim for a year now.
13. You fantasize about them
Allow me to get a little racy. While this might not be applicable to all of you, a good percentage will relate to what I’m saying. Sexual fantasies can be the answer if you’ve been unsure about your feelings and trying to ascertain how to tell if you have a crush on someone. Vivid scenarios might run through your mind where you both are up to all kinds of hanky-panky.
You might’ve passed this off as a temporary fancy but I’m here to contradict you. Sexual attraction is a very important component of genuine feelings. So, when you wonder how to know if you have a crush on someone, I point to the sexy thought bubble over your head.
14. You jump to their defense
“I swear he looks better in yellow lighting,” a friend says about your special someone. And there’s an INSTANT reaction from you. Why so defensive? If anyone passes a not-so-nice comment on the object of your affection, you jump to their defense like a valiant knight. It could be a friend, a colleague, your boss, or your parents. The comment could’ve been very nonchalant. You, however, take it as an affront.
Get real with me for a second – have you come to that person’s defense in a flash at any point? It could’ve been something as innocent as, “He’s not ‘that’ bad.” For the record, I think it’s cute and also an indicator that your feelings may be strong enough to confess to your crush. And I’ll let you in on a secret; I deliberately say something snarky about my friend’s possible crushes so they can come to the golden realization themselves.
A Reddit user wrote, “This is probably more the ones who are a bit awkward, but I have this bad tendency of glossing over the negatives of women I am into. So if I am saying a lot of nice things about a girl, I’m probably either naïve, interested, or both.”
15. You like them before you LIKE them
This is an important food for thought. The foundation of a healthy crush or any secure relationship is mutual respect. Before you develop romantic feelings for someone, you like them for the person they are. You hold them in high regard and think of them as a good human being.
As you read this, look back at your time with them. Do you feel like you’re savoring a mouthful of hot chocolate? Is the warmth spreading all the way to your tummy? They’re so nice, aren’t they? Just adorable. Still thinking how to know if you have a crush on someone? Probably not.
16. You can’t stop smiling
“Yo bro, who got you smiling like that?” Do you get tongue-tied when you’re feeling excited? As Koi Fresco said, “The people who make you smile from just seeing them, those are my favorite people.” Think about your own favorite people for a moment. Is that person on the list? I bet they are.
If they are the reason behind your goofy grin, if their presence is enough to make your heart race, and you feel excited when you’re with them, then you’ve got yourself a crush. The smiles are the answer if you have been wondering how to know if you have feelings for someone. Take a chance and ask her out on a date, you might just get a good surprise.
17. Flirting is one of the obvious signs you have a crush
Maybe you’ve taken yourself by surprise recently because you’re unknowingly flirting with this special someone. While talking to your crush, did you let a saucy retort slip? Or did a midnight conversation lead you to drop an unconscious hint? You must have been as astonished as them. But this slip of text has made things clear — you’ve got a crush. Don’t try to reign it in, please. Go all out with your feelings, and flirt like a pro! That “I want to” is a sufficient reason to do something.
18. Step out of your comfort zone to get their attention
How to know if you have a crush on someone, you ask? Here is a simple rule of thumb that is yet to disappoint me: notice if you’re eager to step out of your comfort zone just to get a girl’s attention or get a guy to notice you because she/he has been on your mind a lot. Remember, all those crazy stunts Rachel pulls to catch the attention of Joshua, who she has a massive crush on — and in the process, ends up freaking him out? Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.
When you have a crush on someone, you may find yourself doing absolutely uncharacteristic things. For example, if the person you have a crush on is extremely active and sporty, you might just offer to join them on a 10-mile hike on Sunday morning when you can’t even remember when was the last time you took a walk around the block. Your cramped legs and sore muscles will curse you for a week, but hey, tell them to take it up with all those feelings you don’t seem to have any control over.
19. You wait for a notification with their name on it
Do I like her? Do I have feelings for him? To help answer your question, I have a few counters,
- Do you wait for a notification with their name on it?
- Do you check your phone even if it hasn’t buzzed or beeped, just in case you missed a text from them?
- When that notification pops up, does it bring a huge grin to your face?
- Do you leave everything aside to talk to them?
Well, my friend, I’m surprised you’re even wondering about how to know if you like someone. Could your feelings BE any clearer? It’s time to shake off the doubts and denial and embrace those bubbling bursts of romantic love. Don’t let the fear of what if your crush doesn’t like you hold you back.
20. You mirror their behavior
Research shows that when we have romantic feelings for someone, we unwittingly start mirroring their behavior. If you mirror their body language and won’t stop with all the eye contact, there’s definitely physical attraction involved. This doesn’t just end at absorbing vocabulary or gesticulations. If they mention having read a book, you may read it too just to share a commonality with them. This is as clear an indicator as any that this person has been tugging at your heartstrings.
Key Pointers
- Having a crush on someone can make you act in uncharacteristic ways
- However, even if some clear changes in your behavior, thought patterns, and even body language, you may be unsure of your feelings
- In such cases, it can help to be aware of the signs of a crush and see if you can relate to them
- These include looking for excuses to be in that person’s proximity, paying extra attention to how to dress and look, daydreaming about them, flirting, and mirroring their behavior
So, how did you fare? Do you feel ready to tell them, “I have a crush on you”? Well, hold thy horses! The next step is figuring out if they are on the same page. Are there any signs of mutual attraction present? If yes, then go ahead and ask them out. I’m so thrilled for you. Remember, things happen if you make them happen. On the off chance that you don’t like the person you thought you did, it’s good news in a way of speaking. You have clarity and can focus on leading your best life. And the next time you like someone, you won’t wrestle with similar apprehensions and dilemmas.
12 Creative And Impressive Ways To Tell Your Crush You Like Him Over Text
Ask Our Expert
You must be Logged in to ask a question.
