Why Has My Husband Lost Interest In Me Sexually?

My Questions and Answers | | Expert Author , Counseling Psychologist
Updated On: December 6, 2023
Husband not Interested Sexually
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I have been married for three years and we had a very good sexual life. But suddenly he has lost interest in sex and just goes off to sleep without any physical intimacy. Why has my husband lost interest in me sexually?

Why Has My Husband Lost Interest In Me Sexually? 

I have tried to ask him many times what’s wrong but he avoids the conversation. We had a very active sex life before but he suddenly lost interest. From three to four times a week it became once or twice a month and then it completely stopped.

How do you know if your husband has lost interest in you?

What worries me is if my husband has lost interest in me. I keep wondering if he is not attracted to me anymore. But I am unable to understand if it’s me or if there is any other reason for his lack of interest in intimacy.

How to deal with a sexless husband?

But this lack of intimacy is killing me. I don’t know how to talk to him about this because he avoids the topic completely. I don’t know if this is happening from any kind of stress or there has been a drop in his libido for some other reason.

Can you please tell me why has my husband lost interest in me sexually? In other things he is pretty normal and caring towards me but when it comes to sex he clams up completely.

What should I do?

Related Reading: You Want To Talk To Your Wife About Lack Of Intimacy? 8 Ways To Do It

Dear Lady,

That the equation in your physical life with the husband has changed is definitely a matter of concern. There could be different reasons for this. Let’s take a look at some of these.

Is there any health issue?

How is your husband’s physical health? Does he have any nagging health issues? Has he been feeling low since some time? Did you notice any changes in his daily schedule?

When the health is not at its best, there might not be any mood for physical intimacy. Talk to him to find out.

Is he under too much stress?

Does he have any problem at work? Financial burdens? Any other issues you know, he could be facing at work? You need to discuss this with him gently.

How has your attitude been towards him?

It’s a myth that men only have to look at women to get turned on. If your behaviour has been aggressive towards him, if you have been nagging him or condemning him over anything, the physical relationship with your spouse can suffer. Please take note of this and look inwards.

Instead of asking, “Why is my husband not intimate with me?” ask yourself if you have done anything that has resulted in this behavior in the bedroom.

Are other interpersonal relationships okay?

Has the extended family had any issues with you both or him? Are the interpersonal relationships alright?
If it isn’t it could lead to stress that could have a negative impact on other things in life.

Our Experts Help

What is intimacy?

Intimacy is not just the union of two bodies as is usually portrayed. It is rather about feelings which are analysed often. So, it’s better to improve your relationship outside the bedroom first in order to restore your physical life with him. This cannot happen by force.

Your needs are genuine but also look at his needs and see where the mismatch lies. Try to deal with those first. I know it’s not easy and can be frustrating but there isn’t any other way to go about this.

So, please talk to him, regain trust, intimacy and your physical life will surely improve.

Good luck

Kavita Panyam


1. Why is my husband not intimate with me?  

There could be a number of reasons starting from health issues, stress or it could even be your behavior towards him. 

2. How do I deal with a sexless husband?

Try to understand what he is going through or if you have done something that has resulted in his lack of interest in sex.

3. How do you know if your husband has lost interest in you?

If all the factors that we mentioned earlier are not the reasons for lack of intimacy then he could have just lost interest in you. But please don’t jump to conclusions. Try to find out first.

4. What can I do to bring back the spark in our sex life?

Be patient, try to understand the real issue and then address it.

5. Will counselling help?

Yes, professional counselling can help you in this situation.

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