After a relationship is over, why is it that we still want the ex to feel bad about what he/she may have lost out on? How silly can one be? Trying to make your ex feel jealous is the most ridiculous thing you can attempt to do.
(As told to Anish A R)
After a few weeks of dating Rahul, I invited Himanshu to come and meet him. Himanshu, my ex, had decided to move on with his life. For some odd reasons, I felt the need to make him realize what he was missing out on. But why?
These are the reasons we try to make our ex feel jealous
Deriving pleasure out of his/her misery
When Himanshu met my new boyfriend, I could see it in Himanshu’s eyes that he was jealous. As cruel as it may be, I was happy to see him still single while I had moved on. I wanted him to see how Rahul was better than him in every sense. He was taller, more handsome and definitely more of a passionate lover.
While my ex sat alone on a couch, Rahul and I were holding hands, kissing and caressing each other on one small sofa.
A few days later when I began to get over my ex, in a true sense, I realized how silly it was to have called him to meet Rahul and put up a show in front of him. Here’s why it was foolish and silly of me to have tried to make him feel jealous.
Perhaps, I was still getting over him
I might have started my new relationship with Rahul only to make an attempt to get over Himanshu. I was convinced that to get over someone, I’d have to get under someone. The reason for having a new boyfriend was so immature that I felt it was absolutely not necessary to have gotten into any new relationship until I was completely out of the previous one.
It made me look shallow
Not only did I have a wrong reason to begin a new relationship, I also made a blunder by making my ex feel jealous by showing off my new man.
I realized after a couple of days, that it made me look shallow because my focus was not being happy but to make my ex feel sad. Why is it that to look good, we need to make our ex look bad, I wondered.
My new relationship began with the baggage of my past
If I think about what Rahul must have felt about this entire failed attempt to make Himanshu feel jealous, I can only be ashamed for having gotten the baggage of my past into my present and possibly a brighter future. Moreover, I also began to feel that I may have made Rahul uncomfortable.
It made me look bitchy in front of my new found lover
What’s worse, I also began to think how I made myself look bitchy, wicked and cruel in front of my new boyfriend. In the process, I did not present myself as the real me, but as a bad reaction of a break-up and a nasty desire to make my ex feel jealous and needy.
The ex, may have moved on
And finally, I also felt stupid to have even tried to make my ex feel jealous because, maybe he had moved on. After all, he did not seem uncomfortable with meeting Rahul.
I strongly recommend to men and women to keep away from your feelings of wanting to derive pleasure out of your ex’s misery.
It is silly to do what I did impulsively because
- It makes you look bad.
- Your ex may be laughing at you behind your back.
- It does not give a fresh start to a new relationship.
- Your new boyfriend might think of you as a bitch.
Your efforts of making your ex feel jealous won’t bring him or her back to you. In order to really move on, you can instead go on a break, join hobby classes, spend time with your friends and family, etc. After a break-up, always remember to keep a distance from all old things. Try to change the pattern of your thoughts, feelings and actions.