So, you’re “happily married” and are wondering if this person is your soulmate. In those first few months (or even years) of love and marriage, it’s totally normal to feel kind of awestruck and truly believe it when you say, “My husband is my soulmate.” The conversations are thrilling, the sex is amazing and you really can’t get enough of each other.
After all, that’s why you’re contemplating terms like soulmates. You are head over heels with the idea of finding your soulmate, and you’re wondering if you’ve truly hit the jackpot. But yet, there’s this sneaky feeling that maybe this person isn’t the one your soul seeks.
So the question starts to nag you — are you married to your soulmate? Is the person you share a roof with really supposed to be the one? Let’s take a look at the signs your spouse is your soulmate, and what our readers think of soulmates in the first place.
How Do You Define A Soulmate?
We, as individuals, require a physical mate. That’s nature’s design. Some of us would like an intellectual mate – that’s a need generated by our intellect, our mind. Our soul supposedly transcends both our body and our mind. In that case, is it required to have a mate, wonders Commander Jae Rajesh. “Is it necessary for your spouse or partner to be your soulmate too? Will your relationship suffer if otherwise?” the fitness aficionado asks.
Relationships can be strong even if your life partner isn’t your soulmate. “Understanding and compatibility are very important as well. Instead of spending your days worrying about, “Who is my soulmate?”, you must also think about who you’re compatible with,” says Neha, who has been a teacher for the past 22 years.
Danseuse Joyeeta Talukdar believes that it is often possible that your spouse can be a good partner without being your soulmate. There’s always a difference between the two but one has to be very lucky to find both in one.
Telecommunications engineer Sid Balachandran used to think otherwise for a long time, but the more he experienced in life and the more relationships he saw, he realized that sometimes your partner/spouse and your soulmate could be two different people. “And there’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think the strength of your relationship depends on whether your partner is your soulmate or not – just communicate, try and give each other some space, and keep the spark alive; it’ll be fine,” Sid adds.
Have you heard of the concept of losing yourself? With a soulmate, that happens more often than not. “In all other relationships, once the novelty wears down, being one with each other also fades. But with a soulmate, there might be real promise there for a lasting bond,” believes Raksha Bharadia, the founder of Bonobology.
Surgeon Kamal Nagpal believes a soulmate need not be permanent, need not be a spouse or even a romantic interest, it may be anyone, who helps you move to the next level of self-development. “We often develop deep connections with people based on our deep subconscious and conscious needs, which are consistent with our phase of life evolution. These connections, therefore, feel very intense and can truly be thought of like soulmates because they fulfill important roles in our life at that point in time,” Kamal says.
Can someone be your soulmate, and you not be theirs? Can you confidently say, “My husband is my soulmate”? What does it even feel like when you’re marrying your soulmate? With the help of the signs we’ll be listing out, all your questions will be put to rest.
Related Reading: 10 Signs My Best Friend Is My Soulmate
Signs Your Spouse Is Your Soulmate
Not everyone believes in soulmates, but it can be a beautiful thing to believe in. The idea of someone loving you no matter what, the damn near-magical feeling when a single glance communicates all of your thoughts. A soulmate understands you, supports you, and gives you warm bear hugs even when you are smelly or sick.
If you believe in the kind of soulmates found in fiction and fairy tales and dream that you’re married to your soulmate, here are some sure shot signs for you to know if you are on the right track or not:
1. You feel like you’ve known your partner forever
Remember the “I feel like I’ve known you my whole life” dialogues we see in the movies? Well, if your husband is truly your soulmate, you’re definitely going to feel like that. Owing to the instant emotional intimacy you established, you’re going to feel extremely comfortable and at peace with each other.
2. You easily comprehend each other and have a similar way of thinking
No, you don’t necessarily have to complete each other’s sentences, but you get what we mean. If you can honestly say, “My husband is my soulmate”, you most probably share a very similar way of thinking with your spouse. You understand each other without much effort and you pretty much already know what’s going on in your partner’s mind even before they share it with you.
3. The déjà vu just won’t stop
Ever get the feeling like you’ve experienced something before, even if you haven’t? When you constantly feel like that with your partner, it could be a great sign you’re both literally weaved from the same energetic cloth, and are, hence, soulmates.
4. You’ve got a spiritual connection with your spouse
Your connection is intense and so is your relationship, often moving from extreme highs to extreme lows. You probably feel very much in tune and connected with your partner’s thoughts and actions. You intuitively know what the other person is thinking and/or feeling.
Even though you know your relationship may not remain, you’re certain the love will last forever. When you can confidently say, “My husband is my soulmate”, you probably feel a spiritual connection with him.
Related Reading: 12 Signs You Have Found Your Soulmate
5. You feel in sync even when you’re not physically with each other
You feel like you’re a part of each other, even when you are not together physically. You work together, like a team, when faced with odds. Your relationship is not just physical, but emotional too. It can bring things out in you that you never knew existed.
Now that you know what the signs look like, hopefully, you won’t be spending your time thinking, “Who is my soulmate? Am I married to the right person?” And just in case the signs don’t seem like they’re defining your bond, let’s take a look at a few signs your spouse might not be what you hope they’d be.
Signs Your Spouse Is Not Your Soulmate
“My husband is not my soulmate,” Trish told us, adding, “Though I hoped we’d be, I just don’t feel the connection I always yearned for with him. The thing is, I also truly believe that I’m his soulmate but he’s not mine. You might be asking, “Can someone be your soulmate and you not be theirs?” I didn’t believe it at first either but witnessing just how connected he feels to me, I’m sure of it.”
Even though Trish believes Dick is not her soulmate, they don’t have many marital conflicts. It’s entirely possible to sustain a blossoming relationship with your partner even if they’re not your soulmate. First things first, let’s take a look at the signs your spouse is not your soulmate:
1. You can’t trust them
No matter how much you try, no matter how much assurance they try to give you, if you find yourself incapable of completely trusting your partner, it could be because you’re not soulmates. However, keep in mind that building trust is a two-way street. You can’t hope to build it if you do nothing for it.
Nonetheless, if you’ve tried everything – from therapy to productive communication and trust exercises – and still feel like your partner is hiding a bit of information every time they talk to you, it could be because you’re not soulmates.
2. You don’t have intuitive communication
You’re not the kind of couple who understands exactly what your partner is saying through one glance. You often need a lot of clarity and you may even get in some fights because of miscommunication. Once you realize how trivial the miscommunication was, you can’t help but question why you don’t understand each other well enough.
3. A deep emotional connection is missing
Of course, when you spend your life with someone, you feel emotionally connected with them. However, there’s a difference between the truly empathetic connection of soulmates versus the rather mild emotional connection you have. If you were never able to establish true emotional intimacy with your partner, it could be because you’re not soulmates.
Related Reading: Cosmic Connection — You Don’t Meet These 9 People By Accident
4. You don’t have as much fun with them as you used to
Sure, the beginning of your relationship must have been all rainbows and butterflies. But once the humdrum of life sets in, it’s possible you stopped having fun with your partner. You might not even remember the last time you shared a fun moment with them, though there’s nothing really wrong with your relationship.
5. You don’t enhance each other’s lives
“Want to know how I know my husband is not my soulmate? I knew it the day I realized we don’t add value to each other’s lives anymore. We’re drifting through life with each other, but it’s not like we’re helping each other every single day or even teaching each other anything,” explains Trish. If Trish’s description resonates with your dynamic, it’s probably because you’ve grown complacent in your marriage and you’re not soulmates.
With the help of the signs we’ve listed out, you can probably tell where your marriage lies on the soulmate spectrum. And in case you’ve found “the one” who knows you, truly understands you (and still loves you), don’t let the person go — they don’t come around too often.