Why Do Men Come Back Months Later – When You Have Moved On

Break up And Loss | |
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Wondering why men come back months later, back into your life? What’s the reason behind their return after all this time? Why do they have to make things more complicated? Well, we’ll look at the different reasons behind why do men come back after no contact. This will hopefully help you understand their motivations and make decisions based on that. 

There are good chances of your previous partner coming back to you, months after you two have broken off. This really complicates your situation especially if you’ve spent time moving on with your life. And you’re left wondering why men come back months later only to again bring up something that was a part of your past. Let’s look at 11 reasons why he disappeared and came back months later.

11 Reasons Men Come Back Months Later

Why do men come back after no contact? Why do you have to be the girl he always comes back to? When all is said and done and you’re finally past him, why does he have to contact you now and make things complicated? Such types of questions are naturally passing through your mind. This is supposed to be a confusing situation and not without reason. We have 11 reasons to share about why men come back months later. 

Knowing the reason why you’re the girl he always comes back to, is the first step to identifying and solving the issue, therefore it’s crucial that we first try and find out why he came back in the first place.

Related Reading: He Left Me For Another Girl And Now He Wants Me Back

1.  He’s jealous

One of the chief reasons why men come back months later is jealousy. It’s no secret that we often understand the value of a person when they’re not in our lives anymore. On top of that, when we see them with someone else, it makes us feel even more left out. Emotions of envy and regrets surface in our minds. 

This might be the case with him too. If you’ve left him in the past and moved on with your life, advancing in your career and forming new relationships, there are good chances that he’s jealous. This can make him want to come back into your life to try to get back what was once his.

Did you keep thinking for a long time, “He’ll be back, they always come back?” Keep that in mind before letting him back into your life. This is crucial especially if he wants to get back because of his insecurity and jealousy. Remember that usually, only the most insecure people come back after you move on, so it’s best to not get derailed once again. There are several reasons why men become jealous after they see you with someone else, and it’s best to not be bothered by that.

2. He regrets his decisions

Only when one looks back at their decisions from a distance are they able to realize all the mistakes they made. Maybe losing you made him see all the qualities that he took for granted. Maybe he realized that the mistakes that used to irk him all the time weren’t so irksome after all.

Sometimes men forget how much you are worth and begin taking you for granted. Only when they see things from a distant perspective do they understand their mistakes. This is why he might want to come back because there’s no other you. Regret for taking you for granted is one of the main reasons why guys always come back after ghosting.

3. His ego needs satisfaction

Perhaps the sole reason behind him messaging you or coming back might be to check how much you actually miss him. He might also want to know if you have any feelings left for him. This can be for two reasons. Either he wants to stroke his ego by knowing you still remember him or he might want to get back based on your reaction. Ego is often the reason why men come back months later.

It’s important here that you don’t entertain any ideas of getting back with him. Try to remember the hurt he caused you and the days you spent heartbroken after he left. Don’t let all that go away just like that. Show him that he doesn’t matter to you anymore. Only through this can you avoid falling prey to his manipulative tricks and completely move on.

Related Reading: When Her Ex-Boyfriend Came Back After Eight Years She Almost Divorced Her Husband

4. Why men come back months later: he’s changed

Perhaps you two breaking up made him look back on his life and want to change for the better. Sometimes a person leaving the other affects them so much that they want to rehaul their life. And it might be the same case with him. Perhaps he worked on all the qualities you had wished he would change during your relationship. Maybe the reason he ghosts you and comes back was to give himself the time to change for your sake.

After the change, he might want to get back with you or just show you that he’s a changed man. It can also be due to a simple need for validation from you. Or he might want a chance at getting back with you because of these positive changes. This is often the reason behind why he disappeared and came back months later.

Carol remembers the fights she had with her partner over and over. He had a habit of drinking late into the night and sometimes calling her at odd hours to come to pick him up. On other occasions, he would crash at her place in the middle of the night, causing ruckus and chaos. Despite their repeated arguments over this, he wouldn’t change. 

“One day, he went away with a little note on the fridge. I was scared and worried for him. But once he came back, months later, and apologized, I could see he had really worked on himself. Our relationship finally has no conflicts and we’re very happy together. I’m glad he took the chance and time to do this,’’ Carol recalls.

5. He’s not getting any action

why do men come back after no contact
He’s not getting any action

A lot of times, the actual reason is much simpler than you might think. It’s quite likely that he misses all the fun you two used to have. He might have left thinking that finding someone else wouldn’t be that hard. But now after all that time has passed and he hasn’t found anyone else, he’s probably missing you and wants you back.

It’s also possible that he found someone else but could never find what you two shared. And now he’s missing all the good times you two had. But there’s a higher probability that he’s simply not getting any sexual action after having left you. Exes who come back years later don’t always do it from a place of love and value, sometimes it’s just about mere bodily needs.

6. The memories keep coming back

They say the longer the distance, the greater the longing. This is true for all people and things in your life generally. You tend to miss people the most when they’re away from you. And this might be true in his case as well. 

Why do men come back after no contact? It can probably be all the shared memories that keep replaying in his head.

It’s possible that your memories keep coming back to him and he hasn’t been able to get rid of them even after all this time. This is why coming back to you is the only resort left for him, one last attempt to get back what he’s lost.

Related Reading: When Do Guys Start To Miss You After A Breakup?

7. You created standards others can’t reach

With every relationship, we change some parts of ourselves. Those parts include our expectations from the other person. In all probability, you altered his expectations so much that he just can’t find someone out there who fulfills him the way you did. And now after months when he’s finally come to realize this, he wants to make amends with you. 

There’s a reason after all why you’re the girl he always comes back to. This is because he’s realized no one’s going to ever be like you. At the end of the day, there are way too many factors that go into the working of a relationship. So, the chances of him finding relationship compatibility with someone else might be extremely low. 

This is true even more so if you had a long-lasting relationship that made you two come close in ways otherwise not possible. Not being able to reach the standards you created is often the reason behind why guys always come back after ghosting.

8. His comfort zone is you

On paper, dating and finding new partners and forming new relationships might sound exciting but it’s rarely the ground reality. In reality, you have to make an effort to know the other person all over again each time you form a new relationship. This involves discovering their different aspects, and getting used to their various quirks and habits.

Maybe he doesn’t want to go through all that or maybe he tried and got tired in no time. This might have made him want to come back to you. What he shared with you was something he’s not able to find in anyone else and this realization is the reason why he came back after 3 months.

Alice had found a partner whom she loved and trusted blindly until one day he left her without a word. After months, when she was finally ready to move on, he came back. His exact words were, “I was scared by the intensity of your love and was trying to explore a little.” Well, it was her turn to explore and she refused to get back with him again. That doesn’t mean her old feelings didn’t resurface and that she didn’t have to spend days coping with the situation.

Related Reading: Will Your Ex Come Back? These 18 Signs Tell You He Will Be Back

9. Why do men come back after no contact: he wants to stay friends

It’s also possible why men come back months later is because they don’t want to lose your friendship. This is even more probable if your relationship ended on rough terms. With the benefit of a time gap, he probably misses talking to you as a friend even though he might have moved on with his personal life.

It’s also possible that this might be a show for him to get close to you again. If you show zero interest toward him romantically after he first wanted to get back and then he wants your friendship, it’s an indication that he wants to be friends eventually to be with you. And if time and circumstances allow, he can try another hand at winning you over.

He’ll be back, they always come back. Was this you for a long time before you somehow moved on? If yes, then you must keep these things in mind before letting him affect you all over again. They often come back after you move on and it’s not always worth entertaining them.

10. He’s trying to heal his bruised ego

Did you have a toxic relationship with him where he tried to dominate you? And were you the one who decided enough is enough? If yes, it’s possible his ego got bruised when you decided to separate and his coming back is an attempt to bandage his wounds. If you’re doing well after leaving him, he might be even more jealous.

Was he that irrelevant in the broader scheme of things? This realization might be the reason he wants to get back with you just to prove that he, indeed, mattered. We often want to earn that thing that’s out of our reach. This might be the rationale behind why he came back after 3 months.

Related Reading: He Cheated On Me But Wants Me To Take Him Back

11. He’s confused

If you two had an abrupt end to your relationship because of unforeseen circumstances, it can be possible that he wants closure. Maybe he’s been able to muster strength only after all these months, which is why he’s come back after all this time. If this is the case, it’s better to have an adult, healthy relationship without having to avoid each other. 

This can help the two of you move on better with your lives, leaving the past behind. It can also lead to you two developing a great platonic relationship that’s built on mutual respect. 

As we’ve seen above, there can be several reasons why men come back months later. It’s important not to jump to conclusions and, at the same time, avoid getting back with him instantly. No matter what he says, you must remember how he behaved when you were together. Keep all these factors in mind before deciding how you want to proceed with exes who come back years later.

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What To Do When An Ex Contacts You Years Later

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