Let’s get real, mutual break-ups don’t exist. There’s almost always a dumper and a dumpee. Unless the dumper was never emotionally connected, the breakup is hard on both parties. It doesn’t matter which end the guy was on, we can tell you it hurt him too. But when does a man start to miss you after a breakup?
If you’ve been thinking something like, “Do guys miss their ex?” Of course they do. Guys tend to show a strong persona to hide their true feelings after breakups. Sometimes, they try to act mature, sometimes they try to act uber-cool and nonchalant. Sooner or later, that façade will fall.
If questions like, “What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup?” or “When does a man start to miss you?” have been bothering you, you’ve come to the right place. We’re going to help you take a deep dive into the man’s mind after a breakup, through the collective experience of multiple men, told to you by a man himself. Let’s find out if there’s a heart where naysayers claim a stone to be.
When Do Guys Start To Miss You After A Breakup?
Well, it depends. There isn’t a single solid answer to this question, and it can depend on the nature of the breakup. What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup immediately is if the relationship was a long, nurturing one and ended on a bittersweet note. When relationships end because of distance or societal/family pressure, the impact can be immediate and heavy on both partners. Just like women, guys will have a hard time dealing with a sudden breakup, especially if it seemed like it could go the distance.
Do guys miss their ex even if the ending wasn’t so bittersweet? In most cases, how guys react to a breakup is different from how women do, because the realization hits them a lot later. That is not to say that men are heartless and never cared about the relationship. Naturally, when men become newly single, the common conception of single men being termed as “players” makes them think they’re now free. As if they were “tied down” before.
However, that free feeling lasts only so long. When they’ve exhausted their efforts of running away from their thoughts through partying, drinking, etc, the breakup will finally hit them like a truck. That is when a man misses you. In short, 8 weeks is roughly the answer to the question, “How long does it take a guy to miss you after a breakup?”
If you’re wondering, “Why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?” Know that that’s a very broad claim we’re making. Some men definitely take more time, some take less time too. When does a man start to miss you after a breakup can be a tricky question. Do they ever realize they made a mistake and want to come back? Let’s delve deeper into what makes a man miss a woman after a breakup:
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1. When do guys start to miss you after a breakup? When it finally hits them
Growing up on Johnny Bravo, idolizing James Bond, and wanting to be like Dan Bilzerian, the newly single man will fancy himself as the player. He’ll start partying with his friends and take pride in all the freedom he now thinks he has, even if he did not lack any in the first place. It’s a common strategy men use to try to think they’re looking at the bright side. “She tied me down bro, she wouldn’t let me out of the house!”. Men might even jump into a new relationship, but that won’t last very long.
What makes a man miss a woman after a breakup? If you are wondering, “Is he thinking about me after breakup?”, know that guys start to miss you after a breakup when reality sets in and they’ve tried all the evasive measures they could’ve thought of. Now comes the part where they actually have to confront what they’re feeling, which can get very, very hard for some men.
2. When you stop talking to them for good
When you cut a guy off and stop communicating with him on all platforms, he will naturally start to become more curious about what you’re up to. As long as guys can see your stories and drop in the occasional “Hi,” they won’t realize they have lost you for good.
Someone who is strict with the no-contact rule is the kind of girl guys regret losing. Only when you’re able to tell yourself, “My boyfriend broke up with me and broke my heart, there is no reason we should keep in touch,” will you be able to cut him off. When does a man start to miss you? The simple answer is, block him out everywhere and he won’t be able to stop thinking about you. When he doesn’t get the answers to the questions he has in his mind, he’ll grow frustrated. Maybe even ask your friends about you. Once that happens, that’s when guys start to miss you after a breakup.
3. When wishful thinking sets in
Once a little more time passes, guys will start reminiscing about how good the relationship was. They will often leave out the memories that remind them why the relationship fell apart, choosing to only focus on the good things you shared as a couple. Some might even doubt themselves and ask, “Maybe I was the one who was wrong the entire time”! This ego-diminishing act can make men realize they made a mistake and want their ex back.
This is also the stage where you might probably receive an “I miss you” or “I’m sorry I treated you so bad” text. That’s because most guys convince themselves that the relationship they were was undoubtedly an unhealthy one, and that getting out of it has made their lives a lot easier. Once they realize that that wasn’t necessarily the case, you can probably see a story or two from them on their social media about the places you used to go to or a memory you shared.
So, when do guys start to miss you after a breakup? It’s when they realize that their relationship wasn’t as bad as they thought it was and they start to recall the memories you both spent together.
4. When they realize being single isn’t all that great
It’ll take a little time, but guys eventually come around to realizing that the single life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Yes, you save a little bit more money, but you also lack that constant support, the happiness that you get from loving someone and being loved, and of course, always having someone to do stuff with.
When they realize they now have to do their shopping based on their judgment of fashion, all hell breaks loose. Expect the next few t-shirts to be extremely ill-fitted and the color scheme all over the place. At this stage, guys start to miss you after a breakup; they realize they miss being in a relationship too.
The fact that the answer to the question, “When do guys start missing their ex?” is when they start missing the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean that they valued being in a relationship more than they valued the person they were with. Once they realize they long for the companionship once again, they understand that the only person they want it from is their ex-partner. That’s why rebound relationships don’t work out.
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5. When you upload that Instagram selfie with a new bae
When do guys start to miss you after a breakup? When they see you smiling with another man. There’s nothing in the world that stings more than this to a newly single guy. Especially, if there’s zero contact between the exes. Whether he’s stalking his ex on social media or not, that new photo of you with your new love interest will find its way into his phone and it’ll leave him shattered.
After this happens, guys suddenly seem to be in love with their ex. The memories of the relationship will come flooding back to him and more often than not this is when a man realizes he lost a good woman. The reason why this is what makes a man miss a woman after a breakup is because it’s around this time that he totally accepts the fact that you’re never coming back, and he unwillingly accepts that he’s jealous of this new man in your life.
6. When he goes through a challenging phase in his life
When does a man start to miss you? When life eventually gets hard, guys will crave emotional support more than ever. Unfortunately, society hasn’t taught men how to be emotionally vulnerable with other male friends. It is often seen as effeminate to discuss topics such as sadness and emotional hurt with other men.
This eventually results in men having no idea how to help out their male friends in times of emotional distress. This is when guys start to miss you after a breakup. Men don’t experience the kind of support and answers they get from their girlfriends anywhere else.
‘When does a man start to miss you? I used to ponder over that question after my breakup with my boyfriend of 9 months. The way he cut me out of his life felt like he never cared much for me and the relationship meant nothing to him. Two months after our breakup, he broke down in front of me, crying about not being able to deal with the loneliness. After that day, the only question I was left with was, why does it take guys 8 weeks to miss you?” Jessica told us.
7. When do guys start missing their ex? When they miss being in a relationship
Loneliness is what makes a man miss a woman after a breakup. When a man misses you, they will crave the cuddles and the emotional stability and always having someone to do things with. Naturally, they will miss you when this happens.
Guys will miss the security and sexual intimacy that they shared with you. This is when they start wishing they treated you better so they could still have the emotional support and the sex. This can take anywhere between 8-16 weeks, depending on how quickly they see their friends enjoying being in relationships.
How Long Does It Take A Man To Realize What He Lost?
When do guys start to miss you after a breakup is different to realizing the quantum of the loss. They will miss you first, then build you up in their heads. When guys start to try and date again and realize that there aren’t that many fish in the sea, that’s when a man realizes he lost a good woman.
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The kind of girl guys regret losing is one who was nurturing, loving and just clicked when it came to a sense of humor. The idea of dating again can seem exhausting as he’ll have to connect with a different woman all over again and even then it might not last.
Guys will then start remembering the good things about you and how you both connected. He will keep aside the qualities of you he didn’t like and will start to realize he lost a good woman. However, if a new relationship does find its way into the guy’s life (which will almost always be after you’ve already moved on), he will not think about you much.
If you’re struggling to come to terms with your breakup and feel like you need some help, Bonobology’s panel of experienced therapists can help you understand how to move on effectively and resume your life.
Yes, guys do miss their girlfriends after they break up. When do guys start to miss you after a breakup, however, is a little more tricky. It can be immediate if the breakup was caused by outside influences. But in most other cases guys do tend to miss their girlfriends a little after the woman has already started moving on. This is because guys tend to run away from their feelings and are not great at dealing with the difficult emotions they might have stirring inside of them.
Yes, guys will eventually realize what they lost when they try to start dating again. Unless the perfect partner comes into their life without them even trying, which is highly unlikely, they will realize that finding a partner is extremely hard and maybe they let a good girl go. When guys see their ex with another person, they suddenly seem to be in love with their ex.
When guys start asking your friends about how you’re doing, when they send you an inconspicuous “What’s up?” to see how you’re doing and when they start being less active on social media, are all tell-tale signs of guys missing you after a breakup.
Guys might even send you an “I miss you, I wish I treated you better” message long after the relationship is over too. That’s because they miss the emotional stability and sexual intimacy the relationship brought with it.
If the relationship was unfruitful and you cheated or did something equally bad, chances are he won’t. However, he will start missing you if the breakup was the guy’s fault. Or if outside influences caused the breakup, or even if it just didn’t work out, chances are he will think about coming back to you. When a man realizes he lost a good woman, he wants to make amends.
The probability of the man acting on those impulses can never be penned down since it depends on how emotionally strong he is or how bad he wants you back. Rest assured, he will at least think about wanting you back.
Most guys tend to run away from their feelings as a defense mechanism. They assume that by never confronting the negative thoughts brewing inside of them, they’ll never have to face them. That is, of course, until they finally acknowledge and accept the breakup and reality hits them like a truck. Though some may take 8 weeks to get there, other can take a lot longer or some may even miss you a few weeks after the breakup.