15 Signs Of Attention-Seeking Women In Relationships

Picture this: You meet a girl and you both hit it off. She seems to be a livewire who attracts attention wherever she goes. Initially, you find her cute. Her social media is full of selfies and she keeps flirting with you over text the whole day. Over time, however, her behavior starts to appear irksome. She nags you and becomes irritable when she’s not the center of attention. You begging to wonder if she’s one of those attention-seeking women who stifle their partners.

Eventually, you may find yourself asking why such women need so much attention to function in their day-to-day lives, as she leaves you drained emotionally, physically, and maybe even financially. Well, unfortunately, women who seek attention do exist and can potentially ruin your peace. In this article, we will help you identify the signs of an attention-seeking woman, along with some tried-and-tested tips to deal with attention-seeking personality disorder. 

Who Is An Attention-Seeking Woman? 

Before we get into identifying the typical traits of women who like seeking attention, let’s take a moment to understand who really is an attention seeker? Simply put, an attention-craving woman wants constant recognition and attention from everyone around her. 

A Reddit user says: “I have a ‘friend’ just like this. She’s bright, witty, and artistic. She is also loud, publicly embarrassing, in constant need of attention, talks incessantly, cannot put her cell phone/Facebook down for a second, and is completely unconscious of the greater goings-on in the world. She is the center of the universe. I have learned to avoid her as much as possible even though I appreciate her better qualities. I just can’t take the three-ring circus that is her existence. Twenty minutes in her presence and I’m exhausted, done for.” And we agree. Such a woman:

• Is always seeking validation from others 
• Feels empty and disappointed if they are unable to be the center of attention
• Ends up doing silly things that attract the attention of people around them
• Is good at manipulating people
• Can adapt very easily and might modify her personality based on her surroundings 
• Has the power to draw you toward her and keep you by her side, but might give you too little respect 
• Needs you only to validate her and boost her ego
• Can often act selfishly. 

Having an attention-seeking girlfriend means you might find yourself constantly trying to solve her problems and never get the chance to share any of your own. You may become her unpaid therapist, parent, boyfriend, and best friend, all wrapped into one. But you may not get anything in return.

Types of attention-seeking women you meet in the dating world

So, by now, you know that attention-seeking women usually get into relationships to make sure that there is someone constantly by their side to praise them and put them on a pedestal. It’s just not possible to build a healthy relationship with them. Unfortunately, the dating world, especially the online dating scene, is abuzz with attention-seeking women. Here are three types of attention seekers that you may find while dating:

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• The merrymaking attention seeker: They might seem adventurous and fun in the early stages of dating but tend to be boisterous and loud with their partners eventually. While you may enjoy their willingness for impromptu plans or adventures, you will soon find it hard to keep them entertained and will be drained of all energy 
• The hyper-sexual attention seeker: Such an attention-craving woman will seem irresistible to you because of her physical appearance and her sexy personality. However, you might end up being jealous and angry most of the time due to her flirtatious nature. She may use her sexuality to draw other men even when she is in a relationship with you
• The argumentative attention seeker: This kind loves to dominate others by using her debating skills. Partners of such women generally feel annoyed and drained due to their aggressive ways

15 Signs Of Attention-Seeking Women In Relationships

When a girl is looking for attention, she will make sure you notice her by leaving a lasting impression on your mind. So, how can you tell whether you’re dealing with a typical attention-craving woman or just someone who is putting themselves out there to be noticed by you? 

Well, one telling difference is that for attention-seeking women, this behavior is not uncharacteristic. That is just how they are, irrespective of the situation, circumstances, or who they’re surrounded by. For instance, my friend, Tony, and his ex-girlfriend, Lisa, started their relationship on a high note. 

Lisa was extremely extroverted, but Tony doted on her and went above and beyond to placate her never-ending need for attention. If she fished for compliments, Tony would indulge her with flattery. When she bragged about her accomplishments, he beamed with pride. Soon, the relationship became all about Lisa and Tony became an appendage of sorts. And the lack of space in the relationship became too overwhelming. And tantrums began to surface when Tony couldn’t keep up with her need for attention.

The final straw was when she faked a medical emergency to get him to take her to the ER just so he wouldn’t go out with his friends. Tony told us, “She was only looking for attention,” and made up his mind to break up with her. Now, we don’t want you to end up like Tony. So, we have jotted down 15 warning signs that you’re dating an attention seeker:

Related Reading: 11 Signs You Are Single In A Relationship

1. She fishes for compliments

How do you know if a girl is looking for attention? Pay attention to her vanity quotient. Attention-seeking women focus on their physical beauty a lot more than usual and also fish for compliments. So, here are some things to watch out for if you’re looking for signs she only wants attention:

• She gets irritated when you don’t acknowledge the slightest change in her hair or nails
• While she loves getting flattered, she might be stingy with giving out compliments or give you backhanded compliments
• She makes negative remarks about how she looks so that you can pay her a compliment

2. Bragging is her favorite hobby

One of the signs she only wants attention is that she loves to brag. Such a woman will exaggerate her achievements and positive qualities. She will persistently brag about herself, her life, her job, her family, etc. You will see in her the need to be superior to the people around her, and showing off is just one of the ways to do so. 

A friend of mine, Josh, who was dating such a girl confided in me, saying he constantly felt inadequate because his girlfriend claimed she could do everything better than him. If he cooked for her, she would talk about what an excellent cook she was. Or if he was at the wheel, she would go on and on about being a much better driver than him despite the fact that she had been in several minor accidents and struggled to follow basic traffic laws.

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3. She loves creating a scene

An attention-craving woman’s world comes crumbling down if she has to face even a minor inconvenience, such as a fight with her friend or a bad day at work. One of the trademark characteristics of women looking for attention is that they love creating a scene and telling everyone about their problems. This ensures they keep getting the attention they want. So, this is what you can expect:

• She will blow things out of proportion so that the spotlight always remains on her
• She will dramatize every little inconvenience so that you try to fix things continuously
• Ignoring an attention-seeking woman can seem nearly impossible because they might start crying or yelling in public, embarrassing you to the hilt

4. She’s always active on social media

Attention-seeking women and social media are a match made in heaven. Since they’re always seeking validation, all the likes, comments, and reactions to their posts offer them the attention they need to thrive. So, be prepared to be sidelined by Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, if you’re dating one such woman. Here’s what to expect:

• She may be addicted to online chatting, posting photos and reels on social media, and making friends with random strangers who like her posts
• She will be obsessed with likes and follower counts
• She will probably not reply to your text messages or call you back but you might find her replying to her ‘followers’ on social media posts
• If you have a tiff, she may put up emotional rants or, worse still, stories that show her having the time of her life just to make you jealous and get you to reach out to her

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5. She likes making you jealous

If she feels you are losing interest in her or not giving in to her ways, she may try to win your attention back by making you feel jealous. Here’s what you can expect:

• She will flirt with your friends or with a new friend she’s made
• She will talk to unknown men on social media
• She might even get close to your guy friends 

This can make you feel extremely objectified. Besides, the hot-and-cold dynamics can leave you awfully confused, as her behavior with you will never be consistent. One of my friends, Adrien, once confided in me about a girl he liked, saying, “She wants my attention but has a boyfriend.” It’s weird, but that’s how it works with a girl who loves attention.

6. She is never really there for you

An attention-craving woman expects you to be there for her at all times. But when you need her, she will be too busy to show up or come up with some lame excuse to wriggle out of the responsibility of being a supportive partner. Not only can you not count on her but she also leaves you confused about the future of the relationship. She won’t give you clear answers to questions about commitment or the future. Now, this can be due to the following reasons:

• She could be commitment-phobic due to her need for attention from multiple sources at once
• She may not be emotionally invested in you at all and may just be with you for the attention she’s getting

Either way, it can leave you riddled with feelings of discontentment. That’s when ignoring an attention-seeking girl becomes essential

Related Reading: 8 Things To Do If Your Girlfriend Is Ignoring you

7. She opens up very fast

If she identifies you as the guy she wants attention from, she may become way too comfortable with you and overshare. 

• She will start sharing her feelings and thoughts with you 
• She will treat you like you are an old friend
• She will make sure you know that she is interested in you, albeit for her selfish reasons

However, this is not because she feels some sort of connection with you. Instead, this is just another ploy to draw your attention and keep you hooked. If you try to establish any real emotional intimacy with her, her guard will go up because attention-seeking women aren’t comfortable with vulnerability.

8. She lacks maturity

At first, she might seem like a mature person to you. Eventually, you will see that she is like a child who constantly needs approval and attention from you. If you fail to do what she wants, she will throw temper tantrums and irritate you. She will not feel secure about herself and you will have to continuously validate her. 

When the connection between a couple starts to feel like a full-time job rather than a healthy relationship that brings you joy, consider it as one of the clear signs she’s looking for attention and nothing more. This can truly be an emotionally draining experience.

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9. She never lets you have ‘me-time’

How do you know if a girl is seeking attention? Here is an unmistakable sign: an attention-seeking girlfriend will always want you by her side, to the extent of not giving you any time to yourself. Here are a few instances:

• She might get upset and start throwing tantrums if you decide to ‘chill’ with your friends 
• She can manipulate you to cancel your work trip by feigning illness
• She will force you to take you out even when you’re not in the right mood

So, you see, personal space is a foreign concept to attention-seeking women. They are adept at smothering you, leaving you feeling trapped and suffocated in the relationship. Such a woman will often come across as a clingy girlfriend

10. She argues a lot

Attention-seeking women have this constant need to always be right. So, she will pick fights without any concrete reason. This is just her way of seeking attention and establishing her superiority over you.

At the end of the argument or fight, she might twist the conversation and blame you for everything. A woman who needs an unreasonable amount of attention to feel good about herself is, in all likelihood, also an insecure woman. It is this insecurity that makes being right far more important to her than keeping peace and harmony in the relationship.

11. Flirting comes naturally to her

Not a day goes by without her flirting with people casually. It is like second nature for her. Even if she is in a relationship with you, she will not shy away from interacting with random guys who approach her or with someone else apart from you. She may secretly engage in online flirting or chat with a guy who’s hitting on her or openly reciprocate the advances of a guy who makes a move (even in your presence).

12. She pretends to be nice

A girl thriving on attention might pretend to be nice and kind-hearted. Try ignoring a girl who’s seeking attention, and her true colors will come out. You will see that she helps people to win their approval more than out of pure intentions. When such signs of an attention-seeking woman start becoming apparent, they can shift your perspective about her and your relationship. You can begin to realize that she is not the woman you thought she was. She is someone else altogether.

Related reading: My Outgoing Girlfriend Hates Restrictions And I Feel Insecure. How Should I Handle This Situation?

13. She knows everyone

It seems that people all over the world are her friends. She has so many contacts and acquaintances that you fail to keep up and remember them. Her social media profiles have lengthy friend lists, and even if she may not have met them in person, she might behave as if she knows them quite well. This can be detrimental to your relationship, as:

• Her social activities may leave little time for you to bond with her
• You may find that she has no time or intention to build a meaningful connection with you a
• You may be reduced to a trophy husband/partner she likes to flaunt in her social circles

14. She likes hanging out in public places

Instead of going out with you for a peaceful and quiet date, an attention-seeking girl will make plans to go to a nightclub or the hottest place in town. Why? Because she wants to be noticed, and maybe even clicked. She’s, after all, a wanna-be celebrity of sorts, who loves the spotlight to be on her all the time. If you can’t get her to agree to even one at-home date night and the whole ‘painting the town red’ routine is getting a bit taxing, you may rest assured she is only interested in seeking attention.

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15. Her friends are like her clones

Most of the time, the friends she hangs out with will be just like her. They will also exhibit the same attention-seeking signs. Attention-seeking girls are unable to build strong and healthy relationships with others because it does not give them the ‘celebrity feel’ or any sense of stimulation. So, they are often surrounded by fake friends. Look out for these signs of women who seek attention:

• She may not have too many genuine friends around her who will help her in need
• She may have a group of people who flatter her to get attention  
• She may be even used by such ‘friends’ for the social glare around her

How To Deal With Attention-Seeking Behavior?

Now that you know the signs of an attention seeker, the next order of business is understanding what to do if you land an attention-seeking girlfriend. Here are a couple of suggestions for those who have fallen for attention-seeking girls or attention-seeking women would be the following:

• Be mature: Deal with the entire situation with a lot of patience, self-assurance and self-security
• Set boundaries: Be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries
• Be honest: Talk to her honestly and let her know that such behavior will not be tolerated by you
• Ignoring an attention-seeking girl: And finally, back off from the relationship. Do not allow her to use and hurt you. If there is no hope for the relationship then you must have the courage to break up with such a girl

Types Of Attention-Seeking Women You Meet In The Dating World

Now that you know the signs of an attention seeker, the next order of business is understanding what to do if you land an attention-seeking girlfriend. Here’s how to deal with attention-seeking behavior:

1. Be mature

The first step to deal with the entire situation is to handle it with a lot of patience, self-assurance, and self-security. Don’t indulge in a blame game or make sarcastic comments. Instead, get to the core of the issue and try to unearth the underlying cause of her attention-seeking personality disorder. Be a gentle companion.

2. Set boundaries

Women who seek attention often disrespect your boundaries. Be strong enough to set boundaries in your relationship and do not let it go if she crosses those boundaries. So, let her know that you’re not okay with her:

• Crossing the line on social media by posting rants on private matters
• Creating a scene in public
• Bragging in front of friends and relatives and embarrassing you

Related Reading: 9 Examples Of Emotional Boundaries In Relationships

3. Help her calm her mind

Talk to her honestly and help her address her attention-seeking personality disorder. Suggest ways such as:

• Meditation
• Journaling
• Yoga
• Unwinding in nature
• Engaging in a hobby

4. Ignore her

To discourage her attention-seeking behavior, back off from the relationship for a while. Not encouraging her behavior will take away positive reinforcement and force her to mend her ways. Do not allow her to use and hurt you. Likewise, if there is no hope for the relationship to get better, you must have the courage to break up with her.

Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships

5. Address her low self-esteem

A lot of attention-seeking behavior stems from low self-esteem. So, you, as a partner can help her build her own self-worth. Here’s how:

• Give her positive affirmations on a regular basis to boost her self-worth. Tell her she’s beautiful, hardworking, and worth all that she aspires to get in life
• Ask her to focus on her career goals
• Divert her mind to something productive, such as self-development through learning a new language or joining a new course

6. Help her get therapy

Since attention-seeking behavior can stem from multiple psychological issues, it’s always a good idea to get her therapy if she’s showing signs she needs help. Ask her to seek professional help or accompany her to a counselor. Get in touch with Bonobology’s counseling services if you need any help.

So, if you meet a girl and feel that all she wants is your attention and is least bothered about your feelings, try not to be shocked because this is how attention-seeking women usually behave. Keeping your distance and ignoring an attention-seeking girl may be your best recourse if you think she won’t be able to get rid of her attention-seeking ways. But, we hope, after reading this article, you now know how to deal with attention-seeking behavior. So, don’t let such people get to you or your inner peace. 

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