If you’ve heard that becoming a parent is the greatest bliss in life, then there’s no argument from my side. Ever since I held my child in my arms, I was immediately introduced to how a child changes your life and brings manifold happiness. And no, by changes I don’t just mean the cleaning up after them and running into a million debts. Having a child is an experience that is indeed exhaustive but there are also a million takeaways for us to evolve as people and as parents.
Being a better father and person has become my primary goal in life now, all thanks to what my child has taught and given me. Without him, I would hardly be the person that I am today.
How Fatherhood Changed My Life for the Better
Anyone who tells you that life didn’t change much after parenthood is either a passive parent or an indifferent partner. Parenthood is like an OS upgrade. It brings a set of new functionalities. Most that you never even knew that your body can perform. But in addition to the new bells and whistles, it also brings with it a lot of malware, bloatware and bugs. Yes, life changes after having a baby and not always in the best ways.
And if the ‘beta’ testing has not been properly done, (which is to say, you were not quite ready for the plunge) it will require a series of patches before it becomes stable. It’s okay though we all make parenting mistakes. Life continues, but it doesn’t resemble anything one would have experienced before. Read about how my son and changed my life and how my entire life only circled around being a better father.
Falling in love
My wife and I are high-school (well, maybe college) sweethearts who got married 4.5 years ago after 8 years of knowing each other. We started ‘life’ by dodging parallel connections and talking long hours on the phone. Our conversations used to be a combination of sharing of life goals, exaggeration of our own traits, a good measure of silence and a whole lot of sweet-nothings.
And then we were three
We became parents about 8 months ago. Although my initiation into daddy-hood is still a work in progress, my wife took to motherhood like fish to water (or at least that is what she’d have me believe). She somehow knows exactly what the baby wants – when she’s hungry, when she’s sleepy, when she’s in a playful mood or just plain cranky. Almost like my wife herself was born ready for parenthood!
She even knows when the baby is pooing, just by looking at her and hearing a grunt that is seemingly inaudible to anyone else. I guess clairvoyance comes naturally to all mothers and I feel so incredibly proud of her too. How does a baby change your life? Well I guess it makes you see your partner in a much better light too.
Related Reading: Our marriage survived a kid
These days our phone conversations are a lot shorter and built around an agenda. “Did you eat?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Did the baby get any sleep?”, “Did you get any sleep?”, “Did the baby eat well?” and, pièce de résistance, “How were his poops today?”. I really wonder how poo became an integral part of our conversation and psyche; it has already featured this article twice! Moreover, dinner excursions are planned well in advance and executed like clockwork. Yup, this is how a child changes your life and even though it doesn’t exactly sound glamorous, it is indeed beautiful.
Life changes after having a baby
If we are taking the baby with us, the place has got to be neither too hot, nor too cold; well-lit but not too loud; have a sofa type seating or a high-chair; and a decent washroom (just in case a nappy change is imminent). And if we are not taking her with us, the place has got to be within 15-20 minutes distance of our home so that we can make a run for it, if required. Yup, these are some of the big parenting issues for a couple.
And about movies… Well, with a life as busy and bustling as a film itself, who needs to go to the theatre, right? (Right.)
Parenthood also brings with it a set of weird, hypothetical and (almost always) rhetorical questions. “Are we doing a good job as parents?”, “Is she happy being with us?”, “We shouldn’t have left her home with grandparents and come out for dinner. What if she holds this against us?” It’s crazy how life changes when you have a baby but I am so incredibly thankful for it.
Every once in a while, my wife asks me a loaded question: “If I cry and if the baby cries, who will you pacify first?” This leaves me in a dilemma of choosing between being either a careless father or a heartless husband. But I always choose her. Because I know that as long as I’m taking care of her, she’ll take care of everything else. Just loving her is me being a better father. Because I know that as long as I’m taking care of her, she’ll take care of everything else. Considering that I’m typing this article right now, I guess I’ve cracked the code already!
Well, your life pretty much starts to revolve around this new, little person who lives with you now. Sleepless nights, sudden runs to the store for extra nappies and canceling plans on your friends – it is all just the beginning of it. But the love and warmth shared is priceless and completely worth it at the end of the day.
It is indeed an amazing thing how a child changes your life. They make you realize the value of love, showing affection and having somebody to really care for. It teaches you that there is no greater bliss than being a better father to a child who loves you so dearly.