The end of the year has been rather chaotic for me. In December, as the temperatures have dipped and I have been dressing up pretty much nicely in woollens and scarves, happily hiding those increasing love handles, I have found myself way more irritable and intolerant than I have been in the last few months. The spouse and the kids have been bearing the brunt of my mood swings and sometimes the bestie too. But no matter how much wine and plum cake I devour it’s doing nothing for my messed up mood. I have tried to pinpoint my issues and jotted it down in a journal. That’s when I wrote down my 20 New Year’s resolutions for couples that I would try my level best to stick to with help from the better half, for better mood maintenance and a lot of romance in 2020.
20 New Year’s Resolutions For Couples In 2020
Yes, the way life has become today, we do need some New Year’s couple resolutions to keep the spark alive in the marriage and keep those constant bickerings and irritability at bay. There are things we should do and have forgotten doing, the pressures we should not care about and most importantly make resolutions we should stick to. Here’s goes my 20 New Year’s resolutions for couples in 2020.
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1. Not whine over other’s social media snaps
All those snowed out photos from trips to Switzerland, Finland, Norway and Denmark have made my heart icy cold with jealousy. I have been sitting in the most polluted city in India and have nowhere to go because of a variety of reasons and have been whining over those holiday pictures posted on FB at 2-minute intervals.
New Year Resolution: I wouldn’t go to social media that often anymore. Even If I do I would not take a green-eyed look at other couple photos. That’s our New Year’s resolution as a couple because hubby has also agreed no discussions at the dinner table about other people’s travel photos.
2. We would look at the reality
A friend of mine who is rather over active on Facebook was visiting town recently and told me all about her health issues and I didn’t even know that the husband and wife live months apart in the US for their jobs. Everyone has a reality that they don’t show. We have ours too and we have to embrace it as a couple.
3. Coffee and not WhatsApp in the morning
There was a time when we would have coffee together in the morning and then have a proper conversation before getting ready for work. Now the first thing that we reach for is WhatsApp, check work messages, have coffee not even realizing how it tastes, and then rush to get ready without a single word with each other.
New Year Resolution: We would reach for WhatsApp only after our morning coffee date in the bed is done.
4. Text each other more often
In the initial years of marriage, we would call and share a few words on a workday but now interaction takes off only when we are back home in the evening. If I will increase my WhatsApp activity this New Year, that’s going to be only for my spouse. That’s one of our most important New Year’s resolution for couples.
5. The mean words would be buried
We would lock away those mean words we end up saying while fighting, in a treasure chest at the bottom of a sea. Sometimes I feel astonished how mean we become when the tempers fly only to regret it later. No more mean words is our New Year’s resolution for couples in 2020.
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6. No taking it out on the children
A bad day at work and the children bear the brunt. Terrible but true. You can’t shout back at your boss so you shout at the children. Easy way out! The children should get it if they have to be disciplined but not because mom had a bad day at work and there’s talk of pink slips at dad’s office. No way! This is our No.1 New Year’s resolution as a couple.
7. Family activities together
That’s a great way to bond as a family. The chess, ludo and monopoly boards will be out and we will play with the kids. That would be a great way to bond as a family. We also plan to bake with the kids and watch their cartoons together. A bit of time management is what we will have to do. But if we want to stick to our New Year’s resolution as a couple, we will work it out together.
8. Lock time for mobiles at home
Every evening we would have a stipulated time when we would keep the mobiles off bounds. We would do homework together, watch TV or even cook together. That’s any day better than scrolling Facebook and Instagram.
9. Do enjoyable things
I am buying my new sewing machine and am going back to my dance classes, the spouse has joined an NGO that work for street children and has joined a book club. So he is going to wear shirts made by me (the ones you can wear when you are going grocery shopping only) and he would get me more books. That’s one of our best New Year’s resolutions for couples so far.
10. Less sleep more sex
It’s funny after years of marriage how sleep becomes a priority and not some action between the sheets. Jumping into bed and dozing off is more important than having sex. That has to be reversed no matter what. Sleep can wait but sex can’t.
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11. Go for surprises
I was talking to a friend yesterday and she was saying her husband would stand by the basement door sometimes when she would get the laundry and scare the wits out of her by pouncing on her suddenly. That could sound a bit scary but I thought this kind of surprise needs just a thought and nothing more. The fact that you are waiting there to surprise your wife or play a prank on her says a lot about your relationship. So we are going to surprise each other much more in the New Year and bring back those post-honeymoon fun days. Everyone loves surprises it could be a surprise hug or a surprise dinner date. This should be the most important New Year’s resolution for couples.
12. Do a nostalgia walk
Got this idea from a friend who was here from Singapore recently. She and her husband did the nostalgia walk by going to all the places they went when they dated. I thought that’s a great idea to inject the long lost romance in a marriage. So hubby and I are doing our nostalgia walk this New Year. That would mean we will be going back to college, then all the eateries we used to frequent and we would have to knock on the doors of a few friend’s homes too. That would be so much fun.
13. Look at things positively
Hubby had a car accident a few days back and the front part was smashed. I thanked my lucky stars that he was fine and we laughed that we had been procrastinating sending our very old car for a garage makeover. Now the car decided for itself. At other times I would have said, “Oh! This is again unnecessary expense!” But my New Year’s resolution is to look at all untoward incidents positively and we have already started.
Positivity should be the New Year’s resolution for couples in 2020.
14. Socialise together more often
Most often he is hanging out with his office crowd and I am with my girl gang after work. Now we want to party as a couple more often and include the kids also in our socializing. That would mean spending more together time as family and bonding with friends we don’t get to see that often.
15. Talk about the things we enjoy
I love watching movies and he loves reading books. Earlier we would discuss for hours about the movies and books but now for the past few years, we have been in a rush to get things done. Earn money, take the children to school, put them to bed, work out the investments, look after parents, it’s an endless to-do list. So a normal enjoyable conversation on a book eludes us. As a couple this is our New Year’s resolution, we will discuss what we enjoy.
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16. Explore India
No succumbing to the fad of holidaying abroad. We haven’t seen enough of our own country yet. We will go to all those small, quaint, unexplored places in India and make the most of our quick vacations.
17. Keep our private lives private
We wouldn’t succumb to the pressure of Facebook. No one would get to know all the fun we are having. There’s a strange kick in not letting people know what we are up to. We would have our “happening” lives but free of FB judgment. If I am talking about New Year’s resolutions for couples, this is the one that works most for me.
18. Say it with a kiss
We usually kiss each other when we are going for work or retiring to bed. But we plan to say things with a kiss now.
A “Yes” would be replaced by a kiss. This is going to be fun isn’t it?
19. De-clutter the house
This is what we are going to do in the first week of January. Human beings are by nature hoarders and if you look at your closet, drawer or kitchen cupboards you will be amazed at how much you have hoarded and how much you don’t use. We will sift through all our belongings together and de-clutter.
20. Laugh more
Sometimes in your struggles with life you tend to lose your sense of humour. But laughing can do things for a couple that a million dollars cant. In 2020 we are laughing more for sure and we are going to take the small things in life less seriously.
Now I will have to write another page in my gratitude journal about how we will stick to our New Year’s resolutions. With a little bit of effort it’s not going to be that hard, for sure. But we have to find ways everyday to make our New Year’s resolutions for couples work.