Panromantic: What Does It Mean to Be One?

If you find that you can develop crushes or romantic feelings for someone regardless of whether they’re a man, a woman, or nonbinary, you might be wondering what that says about your identity. In a world full of labels, panromantic is one term that could describe the way you love. 

Panromantic refers to the ability to feel romantic love or affection for someone of any gender. This is a romantic orientation, which determines who you fall in love with emotionally and is distinct from sexual orientation, which is about who you feel physically attracted to. Clinical psychologist Dr. Monica Johnson explains, “Romantic orientations can be just as diverse as sexual orientations, including terms like panromantic, meaning attraction to people regardless of gender.” 

The concept is still fairly new and many people still find themselves wondering what panromantic means, and that’s okay. In this guide, we’ll break down the panromantic meaning and how it differs from related terms, help you recognize what is panromantic in yourself through clear signs, and offer tips on coming out as panromantic if and when you’re ready. Whether you’re questioning your identity or just educating yourself, remember that your feelings are valid and you’re not alone in experiencing them.

What Is Panromantic?

Panromantic is a romantic orientation in which a person can be romantically attracted to people of all genders. The prefix “pan-” literally means “all,” reflecting that gender is not a limiting factor in whom a panromantic person can develop feelings for. In other words, panromantic individuals feel the stirrings of love, crushes, or deep affection based on who the person is, not what gender they are. Being panromantic is an identity and a movement. A way of saying your heart doesn’t put people into boxes by gender.

Panromantic people come from all walks of life and can have any sexual orientation. Some panromantics experience sexual attraction, and some do not. For example, an individual might identify as an asexual panromantic or panromantic ace, meaning they fall in love with people of any gender but rarely or never feel sexual attraction. Another person could be panromantic and heterosexual, experiencing romantic attraction widely but sexual attraction only to a different gender. There’s a whole spectrum of possibilities. Let’s decode them to help you better understand the panromantic orientation:

• Romantic attraction to all genders: A panromantic person can develop romantic feelings for people of every gender identity. In casual terms, they might say gender doesn’t matter when it comes to who they love
• Separate from sexual orientation: Panromantic describes emotional or romantic attraction. It doesn’t automatically tell you whom someone is sexually attracted to, if anyone at all. For instance, one can be panromantic and asexual, panromantic and bisexual, panromantic and straight, and so on. This aligns with the “split attraction model,” which distinguishes romantic orientation from sexual orientation
• Panromantic vs. other orientations: Panromantic is different from being biromantic or homoromantic. A biromantic person might be attracted to multiple genders, but not necessarily all genders. A panromantic is open to romance with anyone, regardless of gender, and many panromantics feel terms like biromantic or polyromantic are too limiting for their experiences

History and origins of the term

The word panromantic rose out of online ace and queer spaces as people started naming the romantic orientation spectrum separately from sexual orientation, as part of what has come to be known as split attraction model (SAM). “Aromantic” appears on AVEN forums as early as 2005, and the modern phrasing of SAM became common in the 2010s as Tumblr and ace blogs normalized terms like heteroromantic, biromantic, and panromantic.

Researchers and historians also note that the idea of separating emotional attraction vs sexual attraction isn’t new. Karl Heinrich Ulrichs wrote about forms of love and desire that don’t always align back in 1879, and Dorothy Tennov’s work on limerence describes romantic infatuation as distinct from sexual desire. The ace/aro communities popularized today’s language and use. 

Advocacy pages like GLAAD glossaries, Trevor Project resources now include romantic identity labels, which signals mainstream recognition and gives readers supportive definitions they can share.

Panromantic flag: What it stands for 

The panromantic community has its own pride flag, with blue, green, orange, and red stripes symbolizing attraction to men, agender/nonbinary people, gender-diverse people, and women respectively. Here is what the different colors on the flag represent: 

• Blue: Attraction to men
• Green: Attraction to agender/gender-neutral people
• Orange: Attraction to genders beyond or between the binary

Red: Attraction to women

Related Reading: Lesbian And Gay Pride Bracelets – Rainbow LGBTQ Wristbands

Panromantic vs. Pansexual — What Is The Difference?

Because they both start with “pan-” and involve attraction to all genders, panromantic and pansexual are often thought to be the same thing. However, there is an important difference between the two. Pansexual refers to sexual attraction to all genders, whereas panromantic refers to romantic attraction to all genders. One is about who you are physically or sexually attracted to, and the other is about who you can fall in love with or desire an emotional relationship with. Here are some other ways that the two differ from one another:

How Panromantic Differs From Other Romantic Orientations 

When you look at where panromantic sits on the romantic orientation spectrum, it helps to compare it with nearby labels. A panromantic person feels romantic attraction regardless of gender, while someone who is biromantic is drawn to more than one gender but doesn’t necessarily mean all. Omniromantic folks also feel attraction across genders, but they may notice gendered preferences playing a role. In contrast, heteroromantic and homoromantic identities describe attraction toward a specific gender. Thinking about these labels side by side highlights how the split attraction model lets people capture subtle differences between emotional attraction vs sexual attraction and choose the words that fit their experience best.

Panromantic vs Biromantic

Panromantic vs Omniromantic

Panromantic vs Heteroromantic/Homoromantic

How to Tell If You Are Panromantic: 10 Clear Signs

Wondering what does panromantic mean for you personally, and whether this label fits you? Figuring out your orientation can be a journey, especially when romantic attraction doesn’t fall into the traditional patterns. Here are 10 clear signs and experiences that might indicate you are panromantic. Everyone is unique, so you might relate to some of these more than others, and that’s okay. Take a look and see if these ring true for you:

Related Reading: 18 Types Of Sexualities And Their Meanings

1. Gender is irrelevant in your crushes and romances

If you’ve had crushes that span across the gender spectrum, or you catch yourself saying “I can’t help who I fall for” and truly mean that gender isn’t a factor, it’s a strong sign you could be panromantic. Many panromantic people describe their attraction as gender-blind. They fall for who someone is, not what their gender is. Whether your crush is a guy in your class, a nonbinary coworker, or a girl you met at the coffee shop, you feel that familiar flutter and emotional draw just the same. This openness in your romantic attraction is a hallmark of panromantic orientation.

2. You fall for the person, not their gender

What does love feel like for a panromantic? You might find that what really pulls you in is a person’s personality, heart, and connection, rather than any specific gendered attributes. Panromantic folks often emphasize that it’s the individual’s qualities—their humor, kindness, intellect, vibe—that make them fall in love.

For example, you may find yourself developing feelings for someone after engaging in several deep conversations with them online, before you even know what gender they identify as. When they do tell you, it doesn’t really change anything about how you feel. You’re already smitten with them, the person.

3. You’re a romantic at heart

Another sign is that you prioritize emotional intimacy and romance over sexual attraction. You might find that a deep emotional bond, characterized by cuddling, hand-holding, heartfelt talks, and sharing life together, is far more compelling to you than sexual aspects of a relationship. Panromantic people, especially those who are also on the asexual spectrum, often describe themselves as “big romantics.” 

For some, sex might be off the table or just not that interesting, but they adore the notion of love, dating, and connection. If you catch yourself fantasizing about sweet romantic moments like slow-dancing in the kitchen or stargazing together more than anything sexual, you could be experiencing a split between your romantic and sexual drives. Psychologist Lisa Diamond explains, “Romantic love and sexual desire, while often intertwined, are actually distinct, driven by different needs and impulses.” Panromantic folks may feel this distinction strongly. 

Related Reading: 20 Signs You Are A Hopeless Romantic

4. Other labels felt limiting until you discovered “panromantic”

Many people arrive at identifying as panromantic after a journey of trying on other labels that never quite fit. You might have gone through phases where you wondered if you were bisexual, heteroflexible, or homoromantic, but none of those fully captured your experience. Perhaps you felt that terms like “bi” were too narrow, since your feelings weren’t just toward two genders. Or “straight/gay” didn’t fit because you knew you could fall for more than one gender. This sign often comes with a sort of “light bulb” moment. 

One young woman shared her story on Reddit. She had questioned whether she was demisexual, then gay, then pan, going back and forth, until finally, “I recently saw another user describe themselves as a panromantic homosexual. And let me just say, I’m pretty sure a light turned on inside my head.” For her, learning the word panromantic suddenly clicked. It struck a chord because it explained why none of the other identities felt exactly right. 

If you’ve felt “there must be a word for how I feel” and then felt a sense of relief or recognition when you encountered panromantic, that’s a powerful indicator. Maybe you knew you weren’t purely straight, gay, or bi, especially if you’re also asexual or otherwise unique in your attractions. Panromantic meaning gave you a term that acknowledged your capacity to love beyond gender without assuming anything about sexual attraction. 

5. You’ve felt attraction beyond the binary

A telltale sign of panromantic orientation is that your romantic attraction isn’t limited to the traditional binary genders. Maybe the first crush you had was on a girl, the next was on a boy, and later you found yourself crushing on someone who’s nonbinary or genderqueer. If you have experienced romantic feelings for individuals who don’t fit neatly into “male” or “female” categories, it’s a strong hint that panromantic could describe you. 

This often overlaps with how bisexual or biromantic people experience love and attraction, which is what makes understanding this romantic orientation somewhat tricky. However, the key differentiating factor here is that while bisexual people can also be attracted to more than one gender and many include nonbinary in their definition, panromantic folks typically resonate with the “all genders” concept very strongly and prefer a term that clearly signals that inclusivity. 

Related Reading: 10 Things That Count As Emotional Attraction And Tips To Recognize It 

6. Even if you’re on the ace spectrum, you experience romantic attraction

One very clear sign you are panromantic, in particular, is if you identify as asexual yet you do feel romantic attraction toward people. Many asexual individuals discover romantic orientation labels to describe how they love, and panromantic is a common one. For instance, you might say, “I’m an asexual panromantic,” meaning you don’t feel sexually attracted to anyone, but you do fall in love with people of any gender. 

As an ace person, you might think, “I don’t want sex with anyone, but I could definitely see myself falling in love with anyone, male, female or beyond.” If this describes you, then panromantic is almost certainly part of your identity. 

People in the asexual community, often nicknamed “aces”, developed terms like panromantic, biromantic, heteroromantic, etc., to articulate the “romantic side” of their orientation separate from the “sexual side.” Research has shown that the majority of asexual adults have a romantic orientation that does not match their sexual orientation. In one study, only 37% of asexual participants had the same romantic orientation as their lack of sexual attraction. 

7. You sense a disconnect between your romantic and sexual attraction patterns

Do you ever feel like who you develop romantic feelings for versus who you find “hot” doesn’t always line up perfectly? Perhaps you’ve noticed, for instance, that you can form romantic crushes on basically any gender, but your sexual feelings, if any, lean a certain way. Not everyone experiences a big split here, but if you do, it’s a significant clue. 

Maybe you’re a guy who realizes, “I could romantically date a man, woman, or nonbinary person, but sexually I’m really only into women.” Or you’re someone who feels intense emotional attraction without much sexual attraction at all. If you identify with that, it implies your romantic orientation might be panromantic. 

Related Reading: “LGBT or Otherwise, Love is Love” – Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil

8. You’ve had romantic feelings without any sexual attraction

This sign is often a personal “aha!” moment for many. Think about your past crushes or loves: Have you ever felt emotionally connected to someone yet felt no particular sexual desire toward them? For instance, maybe you had a deep crush on a friend where you daydreamed about cuddling, dating, and saying “I love you,” but the thought of sex with them either didn’t cross your mind or wasn’t appealing. If you can recall such instances, and especially if gender was irrelevant in those instances, it suggests you experience romantic attraction independently of sexual attraction. 

One Reddit user described their orientation as “romantically attracted far more easily to people than I am sexually, but still not right away, usually. Gender really doesn’t come into romantic attraction much.” They went on to explain that they might develop sexual attraction only after a strong relationship has formed, and even then, it might depend on the person’s gender in complex ways, but the romantic attraction was the part that happened freely and to all genders.

So, if you feel love even in the absence of lust, it’s a pretty clear indicator of panromantic or at least some form of romantic orientation separate from your sexual orientation. You love who you love, even if your body doesn’t “jump” in a sexual way, and the gender of that person is irrelevant to your heart.

9. You can imagine dating anyone if the connection is strong

Panromantic people tend to be very open-minded about the gender of their potential partners. You might catch yourself saying things like, “Honestly, I could see myself ending up with a man or a woman or someone nonbinary. It just depends on who I meet.” Perhaps while others had a “type” limited by gender, you never really did. 

You might have grown up assuming you’d marry the opposite gender, due to societal default, but as you got older, you realized you could be perfectly happy in a same-gender relationship, or with someone who’s gender-nonconforming, so long as the love is there. This hypothetical flexibility is a strong sign of panromantic orientation. 

Even if you haven’t dated all genders in practice, the idea doesn’t faze you at all. You may even feel excited by the notion that your soulmate could be anyone. Contrast this with someone who is, say, strictly heteroromantic. They usually cannot picture themselves in love with someone of their own gender. But you can. That is a beautiful indicator of a panromantic heart.

Related Reading: Top 12 Best LGBTQ Dating Apps

10. Discovering the word “panromantic” felt perfectly right

Many people questioning their orientation have a moment of relief when they finally stumble upon the description that fits them. If, when you learned about the term panromantic, you immediately thought, “That’s me!”, it’s a major sign. Perhaps you literally gasped and felt understood for the first time. Or you might have felt a wave of calm, as things fell into place. 

That kind of strong recognition usually means you’ve found an identity that matches your experience. Many people report that adopting the panromantic label brought them a sense of belonging and self-acceptance. Dr. Johnson says, “Pansexuality, and by extension panromanticism, offers people an opportunity not to rule out anyone solely because of their sex or gender.” For those who always felt that way, finding a term for it is powerful.

How To Come Out As Panromantic

Coming out as panromantic can feel a bit daunting. After all, not everyone is familiar with the term, and you might worry about how to explain that you’re “romantically attracted to all genders.” The good news is that you get to choose when, how, and to whom you come out. There’s no one right way to do it, just what works best for you. Whether you’re already out about part of your identity or this is brand new information for people, here are some tips to help you navigate the coming-out process as panromantic:

1. Make sure you’re ready and feel safe

First and foremost, come out on your own terms. Coming out is an incredibly personal decision, and you should do it when you feel ready, emotionally and in terms of personal safety. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to come out, and no fixed timeline you must follow. Take the time you need to understand and accept your panromantic identity yourself before sharing it with others. This might involve, 

• Sitting with it for a while
• Journaling
• Talking privately with a counselor or a close friend

Gauge your environment, too. Will the people you tell react supportively? Unfortunately, not everyone is immediately understanding of lesser-known orientations. If you’re dependent on family or in a conservative environment, consider whether it’s safe to be fully open right now. Your safety and well-being come first. If you suspect a very negative reaction from certain folks—for example, if you fear being kicked out of your home or bullied—you might choose to hold off or only tell a select few supportive people. 

If you suspect a very negative reaction from certain folks—for example, if you fear being kicked out of your home or bullied—you might choose to hold off or only tell a select few supportive people. 

Related Reading: How LGBTQ+ Individuals Can Benefit From Online Therapy

2. Start with someone you trust

When you decide to share, it can help to start with one supportive person. Think of a friend, sibling, or mentor who has shown themselves to be open-minded or who is part of the LGBTQ+ community. Telling just one ally first can give you a confidence boost and a support system. For instance, you might pull aside your closest friend and say, “Hey, I’ve been doing some soul-searching and I realized something about myself. Can I talk to you about it?” Then let them know you identify as panromantic and explain in your own words what that means. 

A good friend will likely respond with love or at least acceptance. If they already know about your sexual orientation, you can clarify how this fits in. For example, “I’m still ace, but panromantic, which means I can have romantic feelings for anyone regardless of gender.” If you’re not sure anyone in your immediate circle would get it, you might consider coming out to an online friend or community first. 

Sometimes telling strangers or online buddies is easier because there’s less risk, and you can practice how you articulate it. Having even one person say “I’m happy you told me” can be incredibly affirming and make it easier to tell others. This trusted person can also be your ally if you later come out to more people.

3. Pick the right moment

Choosing an appropriate time and setting for coming out can make a big difference. Ideally, find a moment when the person you’re telling is calm, unoccupied, and in a private or comfortable space. You want to avoid stressful or rushed moments. 

Mid-argument or five minutes before everyone has to be out the door for work is definitely not a good time. There’s no such thing as a perfect moment, but some moments are certainly better than others. Maybe catch your friend during a relaxed hangout, or talk to your parent during a quiet evening at home. Ensure you’ll have enough time to talk and that you won’t be interrupted. 

Privacy is important too, especially if you’re nervous. In such situations, a quiet one-on-one conversation in your room or on a walk might feel safer than making an announcement in a crowded living room. Consider where you feel most at ease having this conversation and choose accordingly. 

Related Reading: My Fantasy Sexual Life

4. Explain what “panromantic” means in clear, simple terms

Since panromantic is not a term everyone knows, be prepared to impart a little information. You might say something like, “So, panromantic means that I can feel romantic attraction to anyone, regardless of their gender.” Tailor your explanation to the person’s level of understanding. If they’re pretty savvy about LGBTQ+ concepts, you can add, “It’s like being pansexual, but specifically about romantic, not sexual attraction.” 

If you’re coming out to family, who might not even know what pansexual is, you could relate it to something they understand: “Basically, it means I can fall in love with a person of any gender. I don’t limit who I can have a relationship with based on whether they’re a guy, girl, or nonbinary.” Keep it short and straightforward. Be patient in explaining.

At the same time, remember, you don’t owe anyone a long lecture, but a brief definition will help prevent confusion. The key is to communicate your truth in a way they can digest. You might be the first panromantic person they’ve known, so a clear explanation sets the stage for their understanding and support.

5. Be patient and ready for questions

Because panromantic is relatively specific, you should be prepared for some questions, blank stares, or even misconceptions. Don’t be surprised if someone asks, “So does that mean you’ll date literally anyone?” or “How is this different from being bi/pansexual?” They aren’t necessarily trying to invalidate you, but more likely, just need to wrap their head around it. Try to stay patient and answer questions as long as you’re comfortable. 

It might help to emphasize the basics again. You can say, “It doesn’t mean I’m attracted to everyone I meet. It just means there is potential for any gender, if I’m going to be attracted at all.” If you’re also coming out as part of the ace spectrum, you might get questions like “How can you love someone if you don’t want sex?” You can explain that romantic love and sexual desire are different. Remember, you are not obligated to be a walking encyclopedia. If you don’t have an answer or you feel put on the spot, it’s okay to say, “I’m still learning about it myself, but I know this is how I feel.” 

Related Reading: Open about his sexuality and buoyant about his art: Sujoy Prosad Chatterjee

6. Have support and resources lined up

If possible, connect with the broader community or resources for panromantic or pansexual folks. Knowing you have support can make coming out easier. This could mean joining an online group or confiding in an LGBTQ+ support group at school or in your city. If coming out to family, maybe have the phone number of a supportive friend on standby to call afterward, just in case you need to vent or celebrate. In case things don’t go as well as hoped, have a backup plan. 

For instance, if you fear a very negative reaction from parents, identify a safe place you could stay temporarily or at least someone you can talk to for emotional support. Hopefully, you won’t need it, but knowing it’s there can ease some anxiety. It can also be helpful to provide your loved ones with resources to learn more. After coming out, you might share a link like, “Here’s an article that explains panromantic really well,” in case they want to educate themselves beyond your initial conversation.

FAQs

Final Thoughts

Being panromantic means your capacity for love knows no gender boundaries, and that’s a beautiful thing. It might be a newer or lesser-known term, but it captures a very real experience for many people, perhaps including you. As our understanding of sexuality and romance evolves, more individuals are finding labels that adequately reflect their internal compass of attraction. If panromantic is that label for you, wear it with pride. Remember that it doesn’t box you in. In fact, it celebrates the freedom of your heart to love anyone who connects with your soul.

Fluid Relationship Is A New Thing And This Couple Is Breaking The Internet With It

8 Myths about Asexuals (ASE)

“Am I Gay Or Not?” Take This Quiz To Find Out

Your contribution does not constitute a charitable donation. It will allow Bonobology to continue bringing you new and up-to-date information in our pursuit of helping anyone in the world to learn how to do anything.

See Our Editorial Process

Meet Our Review Board

Share Feedback

What is your feedback?

×

Helpful Report an Error Other

Submit