A couple from Rhode Island, California, United States has taken the online world by storm by defining their relationship with a new term, ‘Fluid’. Suddenly ‘Fluid Relationships’ have become an accepted term in related terminology and lexicon with a definition pioneered by the couple, called Brittany Taylor and Conor McMillen.
Brittany is 29 years old and Connor is 33 and together they host a YouTube channel on relationships as well. Their followers have swelled to more than 20K people who want to have a lifestyle like theirs. You can see their video over here.
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What Is A Fluid Relationship?
According to their definition, a Fluid Relationship between a couple is when there is always a space for more people in the relationship. While other partners come and go out of the relationship, the nature of the relationship between Brittany and Conor keeps on changing (that is fluid), but they never break off being partners.
The changing nature of the fluidity of the relationship includes boyfriend-girlfriend, best friends, soul mates, BFFs, exercise partners, dance partners etc. Because of their fluid relationship, it can assume any definition at any point in time.
Of course, the relationship offers frequent changing of sexual partners as per their wish. The definition of Fluid Relationships also allows more people into the same relationship.
Fluid Relationship meaning
Fluid relationship definition, therefore, allows threesomes or foursomes with the two or with one of them. They can also share the same lover simultaneously or one after another. Yes, same-sex love is also allowed under this definition.
This fluid relationship has attracted so much attention that they have been covered in all leading media outlets including this one.
The two say that they have stumbled upon this definition of a relationship when they were struggling to define their own relationship.
“Our relationships are so fluid that a lot of people in our lives that could be considered friends, we have shared sexual intimacy or romantic relationships with.
We have had relationships that range from short term to long term relationships, we have partners we enjoy moving our bodies with while dancing or practising acrobatics but do not share other intimacy with. We have shared lovers simultaneously with one another, we have had three-person relationships, and the list goes on,” says the couple, when asked to define Fluid Relationships.
Brittany and Conor, who met at a health festival in New York four years ago, say their relationships with others only serve to make their love stronger.
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Other people in sexually fluid relationships
Apart from Brittany and Conor now there are a number of people on the net who are coming out with their sexually fluid relationships. Fluidity does not mean sexual preferences but it does mean the infinite capacity to be able to love many people together.
Like in the case of Darrian and Ryan from San Diego who met on an app, fell in love instantly but made it very clear to each other that a sexually fluid relationship is what is going to work for them. Now they have a YouTube channel About Our Fluid Relationship where they keep updating about the direction their relationship is going in.
What Does It Mean To Have Fluid Sexuality
There is still a lot of ambiguity in people’s minds as to what it really means to have fluid sexuality. While the majority of the population experiences a certain attraction to one sex, it isn’t always this way. There is a possibility that your sexual orientation is not fixed but changes with time or circumstances. (1)
In this case, your sexual orientation is not fixed but fluid. Every day, we are moving closer to a concept that says gender is a spectrum. As we realise this, we also need to open ourselves to the possibility that sexual orientations are nor fixed. Our preferences, what attracts us at a moment in life can change due to different factors and circumstances and this is where fluid relationships come into play.
Fluid sexuality Vs Bisexuality
This is not to be confused with bisexuality either. According to this article on The Conversation:
Bisexuality is defined as the romantic or sexual attraction to other people who identify as either male or female (“bi” meaning two genders). If you ask people who identify as straight, but then have sex with someone else of the same gender, this experience does not necessarily make them “bisexual”, but it does make them sexually fluid.
Sexual fluidity can also be a spectrum. This is to say that some people find themselves to be more fluid than others. There is a possibility that you identify as “straight” but then experience a magnetism or attraction to someone who is of the same gender. This could be person-specific attraction and hence, this does not make you bi-sexual but makes you sexually fluid.
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Do you need to have fluid sexuality to be in a fluid relationship?
No, you do not! You can be completely straight, gay or bi and have a fluid relationship. Fluid relationships are about flexibility. They do not contain you to a single partner and give you the freedom to bring in partners that you prefer according to your own sexual orientation and connection. Your partners don’t even have to be sexual in nature.
The beauty of a fluid relationship lies in the very fact that there is no concrete fluid relationship definition. It does not stop to define boundaries or draw lines. The idea is to be comfortable and give yourself and your partner absolute freedom. Therefore, you can have any sexual orientation and be in a fluid relationship. Chances are that you will discover your own sexual fluidity on this journey.
For too long we have put sexuality in boxes. With people finally finding the freedom to be open about their sexual preferences, there are more and more ways to define different sexualities or sexual orientations. And then we have a certain school of thought that suggests that we shouldn’t feel the need to define sexuality at all!
Nevertheless, sexuality is becoming an increasingly subjective phenomenon, unique to every person. The coining of sexual fluidity has done a lot to allow people to be more flexible about their sexual orientations and preferences without being ashamed. At the end of the day, we all have the right to be happy and find love in our relationships, whatever form they may take.
More and more couples are discussing sexual fluidity on the net and like polyamory and open relationships, people are keener to experiment with relationships and move beyond the normative monogamy.