Let’s face it! Every woman has a mental checklist of what they want their husband to be like. Whilst not all of the criterions are going to be realistic, there are certain qualities that every woman needs to look for while they are choosing their life partner. A lot of women complaint about their significant other not being committed enough and they never know the reason why. The reason is generally because they get attracted to the wrong kind of qualities in a man. A guy can be a CEO of a multinational company, but if he is not commitment-minded, the relationship will never work. So there have to be certain qualities to look for in a husband which must not be ignored.
20 Qualities To Look For In A Husband
Marriage is different from a relationship. Getting married to someone means waking up next to someone every day without getting bored of looking at their face or being around them. Here are 20 qualities to look for in a husband. These are not thumbrules, but in the long run they will be beneficial to you so you must pay attention to these qualities while selecting your life partner.
1. He is easy to be with
You would have often heard couples where they talk about how they just “clicked”. This doesn’t necessarily have to be in your case, but you need to make sure you’re not always on your toes around him. You don’t need to go out of your way to impress him. One of the best qualities of a potential husband is when he is also your best friend. You can talk to him about anything, joke about different things and when things get a little rough, you should be able to sail through them with relative ease.
Making active efforts to not turn the little fights into daily battles which are tiring, is one of the best qualities you can find in a husband.
2. He is kind and compassionate
This may seem like a simple idea, but statistics state that a lot of Indian wives are unhappy in their marriage because their husbands are not compassionate and understanding towards them. That’s why it makes its way up here in this list of qualities to look for in a husband. Realising that you have your needs as a separate human being and practicing kindness towards your needs is an important quality of a good husband.
Your potential husband also needs to be kind towards strangers, children, elderly and animals. A man that treats you right but disrespects a waiter in a restaurant or kicks a street dog is not the kind of man you would want to marry. If he feeds the stray animals, donates to charity, or is generally kind towards the people around him, you have hit the jackpot of an amazing husband.
3. He believes in monogamy
Several studies show that human beings are not inherently monogamous. Nearly 75% of Indian men cheat on their wives for different reasons, according to certain sources. A lot of men openly confess to their wives about practicing polyamory as well. Common as it may sound, you need to make sure that your husband is a one woman man.
If he believes in monogamy, there is an assortment of activities that you can do to keep the boredom at bay. Before marrying your man, have a long, detailed conversation with him about his views on monogamy, polyamory and infidelity in general. There is no point marrying a guy who would indulge in emotional or sexual affairs outside of marriage.
4. He has a good sense of humour
Nobody enjoys spending time with a pensive, all-serious person. Life is never a bed of roses for anyone, but if someone manages to deal with the ups and downs of it with a good laugh, then that is the kind of man you would want to be with. Your future husband should be able to joke with you and laugh with you often.
While looking for this quality in a man, you also need to make sure his sense of humour is genuinely good. Sexist, racist, derogatory jokes are funny to no one, and if you find your husband to joke about things like, “my wife belongs to the kitchen”, or “my wife and her friends are always gossiping”, you need to block that man out of your life before the wedlock.
5. Every day is a new learning from him
Chances are that you and your future husband work at different places, or you have different skillsets altogether. Your marriage can get very boring if you’re not able to share these skillsets with each other. You should be inspired by your partner.
Your man might know how to make delicious chhole, or he may be well-versed with the current affairs. Whatever the expertise be, you both should be able to share it with each other and enjoy the process. The ability to have political debates with him or argue with him about the ideal amount of sugar in a cup of tea is one of the best qualities a woman can find in the man of her dreams.
Related Reading: 10 Must-Follow Healthy Relationship Boundaries
6. He makes you a better person
This quality is as simple as it can get. You might know the person you are going to marry very well, but does he make you want to be a better person? Trust us, people do become better after falling in love!
It is very important to tie a lifelong knot with a man who brings out the best in you. Someone who encourages you to push your limits who makes you want to give your best in everything you do. If your potential husband makes you want to be a better person, marry him as soon as you can!
7. He does not restrict you or your relationship
A lot of Indian men tend to be very restrictive towards their wives. Patriarchy demands of them to always know about your whereabouts, what you’re doing, who are you with, what you can or cannot wear, etc. Sadly, women often mistake these restrictions as “care” of their husbands.
We live in the 21st century. Women need not be told what to do and what not to do. The topmost quality of a good husband is when he encourages you to try new things instead of restricting you in a cage. You and your future husband need to share a bond of trust. Knowing that you’re safe should be enough for him. He should not be confining you from doing anything
8. He is ready to compromise when need be
Disagreements are a part of a relationship. It is impossible that the two of you will agree with every decision. You might also get into arguments because of the difference in opinions.
Arguments are normal, and in some sense, even necessary. However, things will begin to go downhill if your future husband always expects you to compromise.
A quality of a good husband is when he is open minded, and is willing to take the high road and compromise when it comes to your needs or desires. Having said this, a healthy relationship calls for both the parties to compromise at some point. Therefore, if you think your husband is the only one compromising, maybe you need to do it too. It does not matter to takes the initiative to sort out an argument.
Related Reading: How Saying Hurtful Things In A Relationship Affects It
9. He is good in bed
There have been innumerable cases where women find their husbands to be very loving, caring, and understanding. However, they are still not completely happy in their marriage because their husbands are unable to satisfy them in bed.
It is important for you to openly talk about sex with your potential partner. Many Indian wives end up cheating on their husbands because they are dissatisfied in bed. To avoid infidelity disrupting your marriage, have a conversation with your man about what both of you are expecting in the bedroom. If the man you want to marry really cares about you, he will read about things that he doesn’t know and will make sure you are hundred percent satisfied sexually.
10. He shares the same values as you do
Having a difference in opinion is one thing, but if your to-be partner doesn’t share the same values as you do, chances are your marriage will turn into a battlefield. In case your partner has a difference in values, you need to make sure he at least respects where you stand.
These values can range from religious beliefs, to the kind of household you want, to the preference of your lifestyle. A difference in the most core values can entirely disrupt your marriage.
11. He looks forward to doing new things with you
You cannot expect your husband to surprise you with new activities every day, but he should be excited to try new things with you.
Being adventurous is a great quality to have in your potential husband. It could be as small as trying out the new restaurant that serves Chinese food, or as big as going paragliding in Nainital. Your significant other should be looking forward to experimenting and exploring with you. Bonus points if he surprises you with a bike ride to Ladakh!
12. You can communicate with him about everything
You may be upset with your partner, yet you know that you can talk to him about what is bothering you. That is the kind of quality you need to look for in your husband.
If your man is the right guy, you will be able to talk to him about difficult issues and not be afraid of his reaction. He will listen to you and address your problems instead of declaring your argument as invalid.
The only way any relationship can work is when there is open communication and mutual respect for each other’s opinions.
Related Reading: 11 Ways To Improve Communication In Relationships
13. He appreciates your good qualities, and accepts the bad ones
Every single person has flaws. Nobody is absolutely perfect. You just need to look for the right person who can live with your flaws without complaining.
An ideal husband would appreciate you for all your good qualities, but will also accept your bad ones. This means that he will encourage you to be a better person and overcome your flaws, but he will never let your flaws get in the way of his love. He will not love you less because you don’t keep your cupboard clean or because you are always late, but he will help you to be a better version of yourself for your own benefit. Look for a husband who has this quality, your marriage will definitely be a happy one.
14. He does not always need to ‘win’
Not only one of the qualities to look for in a husband, but in every relationship that thrives on love. There is no denying the fact that arguments and miscommunication is inevitable. A mature couple has the ability to fix the problems and sort it out instead of blame shifting and fighting for the sake of winning.
Look for a husband who is willing to clear out the problem and not continue the argument just to win it by any means. Such a person will only try to bring you down by discouraging you, blaming you and deeming you incapable. You do not want that kind of negativity in your marriage. Hence, find a husband with a quality of not fighting to win.
15. He is supportive of your passions
A lot of Indian men expect their wives to just stay at home, take care of the household and pursue nothing else. This does not work in the modern era. Your potential husband needs to be curious about your passions and do everything in his capability to help you pursue those passions.
Find a man who raises you up in your field of passion instead of bringing you down.
16. He treats your family right
We all know that in India, it’s not only the couple that gets married, but two families that do. Your partner may have no problems showing affection towards you, but if he doesn’t treat your family the way they deserve to be treated, he is not the right one for you.
Behaving sweetly in front of your family, but avoiding spending time with them during festivals, calling them names, arguing with them and just generally disrespecting them at every opportunity is the sign of an immature, hostile man. A sensible partner will respect your family and you need to find a husband with this quality.
17. He is not entirely dependent on you
When a couple gets married, they start getting dependent on each other. A co-dependent relationship is considered healthy, but only as long as they can spend time with themselves as well.
You need to look for a husband who can survive without you being around 24/7. He should be able to manage chores by himself. He should not be lazy. You should not have to be worried about his meals when you’re busy, or you should not have to pack his bags when he has to go on a trip. A man who can manage his activities without your constant attention and is comfortable being by himself is an incredible quality that he should have.
18. He encourages you to have a life outside your relationship
You are a separate human being, which means you will have different friends, different passions and different activities to do. An ideal husband will have the quality to understand that your life does not always revolve around your marriage.
He will encourage you to take up new activities, or hang out with your friends, or just spend some time with yourself. If your future significant other asks you to try new things without him, while always having your back, then that is the kind of man you should spend your life with.
19. He allows himself to be vulnerable with you
It may be one of the most clichéd statements ever, but communication is really the key. So many relationships die out because the couple is unable to communicate their feelings with each other.
Every person has their guards up, but when it comes to you, your husband should be able to let his guards down and be vulnerable in front of you. He should be able to share his past with you and should not be afraid to cry in front of you.
20. He is looking forward to starting a life with you
Your potential partner can have a majority of these qualities, but if he is not really willing to get married and is only doing it out of family pressure, your relationship might rock the boat on bad waters.
A man who genuinely wants to get married will know it from the very beginning. He might take it slow, but he will gradually make it very obvious. If he asks you to wait while he reaches a certain position in a career or earns a certain amount of money, he will still maintain a level of commitment nonetheless. This desire to see you with him in the future without having you to guess or wonder about where your relationship is headed is a beautiful quality that you can find in your husband to-be.
Not every potential husband will have all of these qualities, but if he has at least some of them, he will certainly be willing to make himself better suited for you if he really loves you. Think about which of the aforementioned qualities you need in your man, and look for one accordingly. Happy searching!