People often say that sex in a marriage dies down after the first few months. That notion is absolutely untrue. Yes, marriage does bring a whole set of challenges and responsibilities, but that does not mean one cannot enjoy intimacy with one’s partner.
Sex after marriage does not have to suffer. The key is keeping intimacy alive is juggling romance and responsibilities. Sex and marriage can be multitasked in a way that is fulfilling to you and your partner both.
So do not be pressurized into choosing one. We have accounts of a couple of individuals who shared with us how they keep their intimacy alive. In fact, if you do it the right way, good sex in marriage can improve the quality of your marital bond by leaps and bounds.
Sex In Marriage – How Do You Make The Time?
Raji di and I had not met each other in 5 years. She’s a busy woman and is not always available. You see, Raji di works in a very famous multinational firm, which also means that she rarely gets the time to meet people.
So, even though she lives just 5 minutes away from my home, I have not met her ever since she married her school sweetheart Arindam. Let’s be fair though, Arindam da and Raji di are both very occupied people in the strictest sense of the word.
He works at a bank all day and she often returns at 11 pm. So, for them to manage time for intimacy is difficult. I was curious all this time. Does the sex in marriage for them suffer because of this?
As soon as I popped the question (after like three cups of tea because it is a loaded one), Raji di broke into a smile. Sex in marriage was not a distant dream for her. For her, it was a mere habit and an easy one at that. What does she do? Well, here’s what she had to say:
1. Always send the kids to bed before 9 pm
Raji di and Arindam da have two kids. Neither are in proper school yet, but, they do spend most of their days away from mama and papa owing to their busy schedules.
Raji di ensures that they have family time on the weekends, but very slyly ensures that they head to bed before 9 pm. To really make the best of sex in your 40s, you have to plan and schedule your free time. This ensures the couple has enough time to spend some quality time with each other.
2. Order in when you are alone
Sunday mornings are chirpy and loud for most couples with children. For Raji di, it starts with a 30-minute drive to a dance class that she takes her kids to.
So, Sunday afternoon lunch for the couple is simply ordered in. This way, they do not have to waste more time cooking. The balancing act of sex and marriage rests on managing one’s time well. What truly matters is the peace that you can share with one another.
Related Reading: 15 Ways To Satisfy A Woman In Bed
3. No work at home
Barsha is one of my friends who recently got married. She has worked as a copywriter for the past three years and often has long tiring days even on the weekends. However, after marriage, she has made it a rule never to bring work home.
This is important for her personal life and helps ensure that the sex in her marriage also does not suffer. She says that it has helped her mornings become much brighter and weekends that much hotter than before.
4. Kitties are for Saturday afternoons
Raji di has a social life. Being so extroverted, she truly is a social butterfly and is liked by people around her. She has been part of social groups and often goes to kitty parties.
However, she has one strict rule that she lives by. Kitty parties are only meant for Saturday afternoons. After that has passed, she can soak herself in a warm bathtub and get ready for some sex games and personal time with her hubby.
5. Discount the television
For Barsha, leaving behind the addiction to soap operas opened up a lot of time in her life for things that were important. Earlier even when she did get the time, she would spend her time relaxing in front of the telly. But Barsha decided to consciously change her priorities.
The fact that both she and her hubby were not sitting before the television all evening on the weekends opened up the avenue for a lot more passion. The sex in marriage got amped up the moment the television was turned off.
6. Do not disturb
As any copywriter would know, work does not end at the home ground. So, clients and bosses keep calling Barsha the whole day. Barsha has thoughtfully made a small basket for her and her hubby to put their phones in when they enter the bedroom.
As soon as the phones are away and put on silent, the night is officially theirs. The fact that the bedroom is devoid of any gadgets like the laptop or phones has augmented their sexual escapades and helped them connect more deeply as a couple.
Related Reading: The art of seduction after a baby
7. Plan your meals ahead
Raji di started this process a few years ago. This may seem like a minor change but it can really help revive sex in marriage. She and her hubby would sit with the kids and plan out the weekend meals beforehand.
This way she does not have to rack her brain over what to cook when the weekend comes, and she can focus on what’s important. Making time by cutting out the little tediums is sometimes the way to work on your sexual compatibility.
8. Buy condoms beforehand
Both the wives ensure that they have a collection of condoms close at hand whenever needed. Running out of condoms is the worst excuse to have to refrain from sex. Not having condoms and having to go out and get them also often kills the mood completely.
This helps both of them avoid any trips to the medicine shops on glaring Sunday afternoons and helps them save up a lot of time.
9. Stock up
How to get in the mood for my husband? Make sure there is nothing else occupying your mind. For Barsha, shopping was one of the things that she did not ever want to do. So, she tries and finishes her shopping for groceries online when it comes to the weekends.
This gives her time, as well as helps her battle the inevitable tiredness from the heat. This way, she does not kill her sex drive and sex in her marriage is as hot as ever.
10. Finally, be honest
Both the wives are working women, and that means some days they would be tired enough and do not want to indulge in sex. So, communication is key. For Raji di snuggling in and watching a movie is the ultimate stress buster while Barsha makes sure that she always has some DVDs handy if they want to sleep in on the weekends.
So, that’s it; a busy life does not mean your sex in marriage simply has to suffer. It is all about making the effort on your end. Just make sure you communicate and plan out your days in advance, and you’ll find opportunities to sneak in some fun.