Most of our parents met just before their big day. If they were lucky, that is! Some had to make do with awkward pictures of each other before they finally met at the mandap. And even if some did have a love marriage, they didn’t go on dates. They snuck out of their houses to have a talk under a tree or take a walk together. Back then, it was how our elders interacted.
But times have changed and so has the youth of this era. We go on dates. It could be a blind one. Or one set up through Tinder or even Facebook. We decide a time and place and rendezvous there. We meet, we eat and we talk. At the end of it all, we try and decide whether this is going to continue or if we have had enough. And this is exactly why the impressions you make matter.
If you keep going on first dates that never turn into a second or a third, you might be doing something wrong or something that’s putting them off. But do not fear! I am here to tell you exactly what are the big ‘No’s’ when it comes to first dates. Avoid them at all cost. Or you might end up stuck in a loop of first dates forever.
1. Not arriving on time
I swear to God this is so important on a first date. Imagine this, you have decided on a place and time with this person like a hundred times already. You two like and are anxious to meet each other. And then that person arrives two frigging hours late and gives an excuse like “Oh, I had to shave my beard properly” or “My hair was a bit messy”. Realise one thing now, people hate waiting. Be it anything, for food or for other people. They don’t like it at all. It shows slack and disinterest and can perfectly put off your date.
Moreover, think of it this way, maybe your date planned something or had someplace to go after the date got over. But you waltzed in like one who can do no wrong a whole hour or two late and then you expect a second date? No way! There is a window period – you can be late for the most fifteen minutes, maybe five more if it was an important meeting you are coming from. If there’s an emergency, make sure to update your date and don’t just leave them waiting alone. That’s just rude.
2. Try to avoid scratching different body parts
And you know what I mean, scratching your hand or neck is one thing – don’t go doing that to your crotch. It is rude and people, especially your date, does not want to see that at all. In any case, if you have a problem like this – go to the washroom, scratch everything, pick and clean your nose while you’re at it. Clean your hands and go in there like a free man with nothing to fear. Though many people can’t control it, do not bite your nails as well. It shows nervousness and your date doesn’t need to realise that so early. But a little is okay, I guess. Sometimes a bit of slack can be adorable.
3. Don’t keep on drinking water
It will just make you want to pee and make your date probably think that you want to end the date too quickly. Plus, you can’t really get to talk to a person and know anything about them if you are at the urinal like sixty percent of the time. For all you know, that person could be a serial killer! Just kidding. No one admits to being a serial killer just on the first date.
4. Don’t hog the food
I am sorry if you think this is too much for you, but I have heard and read people who complain that their date or some person at their table was stuffing food in their mouth as if that was the only thing they were able to see. We realise that you love food, and food should be loved, but that is not what you are there for, are you now?
5. Do not ask private or personal questions
Most people know better of course! But there are some who might not. See the thing about personal questions is that you should never ask them. It is just not your business to know whether they are a virgin or how many girlfriends they have had etc. These questions show two things – you have no respect for someone’s privacy and you have no interest in that person but their past. This person won’t give you a second date and might even make sure that you don’t have first dates with some other people.
6. Do not look down on them
If they order pasta and you don’t like it, order something else instead. Don’t judge them or keep asking why they like pasta so much. It is plain sad and shallow. Try and not to be judgemental about others’ choice of drink, food, music or movies. Anything really. It is seriously none of your business. If something makes them happy, who are you to take that away from them?
7. Do not go talking about your ex
Your date is going to be so put off about this. Talk about your childhood, the cities you have visited, favourite television shows or movies. If you do keep talking about your ex, it’s only going to portray that you aren’t over them. And after that? No chance of a second date. No one wants to get into a complicated relationship.
8. Do not avoid splitting the bill
None of us are Mukesh Ambani’s children here. We all are hard working people. Be it guy or a girl, don’t expect the other party to pay the whole damn bill. You enjoyed this equally and you should end this equally too. It’s going to show that you are woke and a no-nonsense person.
And now you know what not to do on a first date. So, don’t worry. It will be all right. Calm down, take deep breaths and go for it. Also, don’t be late.