A majority of men and women complain that their first dates start off well but ultimately end up being ruined due to the lack of etiquette reflected in the actions and behaviour of the other person. Remember, only dressing well during the first date or spending lavishly on the first date is not really going to impress anyone. What you need to do is follow certain basic first date rules of etiquette so that you can create a lasting impression in the mind of the other person.
20 first date rules of etiquette you should religiously follow
If you are wondering as to why you can never proceed to a second date after the first one, then probably you are doing something wrong. Take a step back and evaluate whether you are following proper etiquette on your first date or not. If not, then here are 20 first date rules of etiquette which you must follow religiously in order to make your date successful.
1. Don’t be late
It is absolutely wrong to keep the other person waiting when you decide to go on a first date. It can totally ruin your first impression. Thus, ensure that you plan your time in advance so that you are not late for your date. When you reach on time, it shows that you value the other person’s time as well and this helps kick-start the date in the right manner.
2. Avoid using your phone
You might be a busy person who receives a lot of phone calls and text messages. But on your first date you have to give your time and attention to the other person and avoid using your phone at all costs, unless it is really urgent. In which case too, you should excuse yourself gently with the other person’s permission and keep the phone-call short and crisp.
3. Do not dig up the past
You are about to start something new and special with the other person if everything goes right. Therefore, you have to ensure that you move on from your past relationships and do not talk about them on your first date unless specifically asked about the past. Do not ask the other person about his/her past relationships either, as this might make him/her uncomfortable.
4. Avoid dictating the conversation
When you both talk to each other, it is important that you hear each other’s point of view. Conversation gives you a chance to get to know the other person well. So avoid dictating the conversation and encourage the other person to talk freely and comfortably with you.
5. Do not lead your date on uselessly
Until and unless you honestly feel that things will work out with the other person and you both are meant for each other, you must not lead your date on uselessly. Always be clear about what you want from the first date and do not give false hope to the other person.
6. Marriage or children should not come up in the conversation
It is just your first date with the other person and you do not want to make him/her uncomfortable by talking about marriage or children. How can you talk about the future with him/her when you are not even sure about the second date? Such conversation topics can be a total turn-off for the other person.
7. Pay attention to basic table manners
The way you eat and behave while eating is extremely essential. You must make sure that your table manners are perfect and you do not make a fool of yourself. Bad habits are always noticed and can make you undateable.
8. Avoid overindulgence
Too much drinking on the first date can make you lose control and you can become sloppy. The messy side of you is something that you do not want to show the other person on the first date itself. So avoid overindulgence and be in control of what you do and say.
9. Always be open-minded
It is the first time that you are meeting the other person, so there will be things that you do not know about him/her. As and when you get to know these things you might be shocked, but you have to be open-minded to accept those shocking things and not be judgmental.
10. Be ready to take a stand when required
Following etiquette does not mean that you tolerate each and everything the other person does. In case you feel that the other person has crossed a line, then you must be upfront about it. By letting him/her know about it, you will be doing him/her a favour.
11. Incorporate questions in your conversation
The first date is the chance to get to know the other person better. So you should make it a point to ask appropriate and targeted questions to your date. It will give him/her the indication that you are interested and will make your date comfortable.
12. Avoid bragging
You might be a better person in terms of social status, educational background, etc. than your date. But that does not mean you rub this fact in his/her face during the first date. Showing off is not going to lead you anywhere good, always remember that.
13. Always be ready to pay the bill
This etiquette is usually associated with men. But we think that in today’s modern dating age, this has become part of the dating etiquette for women as well. So whether you are a man or a woman, you must be prepared to pay or split the bill according to what the situation demands.
14. Show respect to people around you as well
Whether it is the waiter at the restaurant or someone else, it is important that you treat that person with respect and dignity. Being rude to the people around you and swearing at them will not help your case.
15. Always do what feels right
It is not necessary to become intimate with the other person on the very first date. But if you both feel that there is nothing wrong in it and it might help you both to make up your minds then go for it. Also indulge in friendly flirting to show your date that you are genuinely interested. But keep it subtle and do not become clingy.
16. Just be yourself
Instead of putting on a show in order to make your date like you, you have to focus on being natural and presenting your true self in front of him/her. If you pretend, then it means you are not respecting the other person.
17. Your body language should give positive signs
Making constant eye contact with your date, leaning towards him/her, genuinely smiling at him/her, all these body language signs are positive and will make the prospect of the second date possible. However, avoid being too clingy and maintain the distance that is necessary.
18. Enjoy yourself
Whether the date is going well or bad, you must remember that you have come out to have some fun. Therefore, enjoy yourself and even encourage your date to enjoy, so that both of you do not regret the decision of going on a first date with each other.
19. Suggest a second date if possible
If deep down you both have felt a connection with each other, then there is no harm in suggesting a second date. So take courage and let him/her know that you want to go out with him/her once again. Letting the other person know about your true intentions is the best thing to do at the end of your first date.
20. Always follow up after the date
Either through a call or a text message, follow up and see where the relationship between the two of you stands. Even if things do not work out between the two of you, following up shows that you are a good person and have no intentions of hurting anyone. It will help give you closure as well.
Why is it important to follow etiquette in the dating world?
Etiquette is a basic guideline which shapes the behaviour of people and helps build good relationships among people. In the dating world, the significance of etiquette cannot be underestimated. By following proper etiquette, you will be able to make your date comfortable and in turn have a smooth conversation with him/her. Etiquette will give a good indication about your family and educational background to the other person on your first date.
Traditional dating etiquette has given way to modern dating etiquette like maintaining an updated social media profile, splitting the bill, avoiding conversations about weather, politics, religion, etc. Dating etiquette for men and for women is much the same with minor subtle differences here and there. Both the sexes must follow appropriate etiquette during the first dates, because the foundation of a strong relationship depends on it.
We know that first dates are extremely awkward. However, with the correct mixture of the dating etiquette and dating advice given in this article, you will be able to seal the deal for sure. All the best!