We Both Have Trust Issues In Our Relationship And Don’t Know What To Do

I am a working person. I have faced some relationship issues in my past and was very afraid to start a new relationship. But someone came to my life and showed me that not everyone is the same and I fell for him. But there are trust issues in a relationship. I need help for the same.

We Have Trust Issues In Our Relationship 

I thought I met my soulmate when I met him. Things were very nice initially. I loved him with all my might. and I thought he loved me the same way.

But he also turned out to be a cheat. He has another girlfriend who is his neighbour, and he always hid her from me. He wanted me to quit my job because he felt insecure about my office colleagues. We keep on doubting each other and haven’t been able to cope. It has made us both miserable, always questioning each other and always thinking the other is cheating.

I think both our past relationships are impacting our new relationship.

I tried to clear his insecurities, but he kept badgering me, so I am thinking of breaking up with him. Am I right, or am I wrong? Please let me know. I need relationship counselling on how to deal with a relationship with trust issues.
Hello My Dear,

Life is full of experiences. We must learn from it. You have two issues at hand.

1) This guy doesn’t trust you.
2) You don’t fully trust this guy.

Now because of this, you are unhappy.

How to deal with a relationship with trust issues?

Firstly, if he doesn’t trust you, this can’t work. Any relationship has to be based on trust. You have to separate your personal and professional life and can’t let either spill on the other. If it does, neither will your life flourish nor will your professional life. A balance needs to be created. If you can’t establish lines to separate these, you will forever be unhappy.

Trust is a key to communication in a relationship

Coming to the second point, your past is prejudicing your present. Again don’t let it happen.

Ask your heart, is this girl only a friend or is there something really fishy? Ask your guy. Have clear communication. Then trust him.

He may not like you misunderstanding this relationship, and perhaps this is why he is not trusting you with your male relationships. Have a honest talk with him. Let him know your apprehensions and wait for him to answer. Listen, do not judge. Tell him you trust him, that you know he would not cheat on you.

And then ask him to trust you. This new relationship has to be based on trust. Can you make it work like this? Only love doesn’t suffice, for love without trust is painful, and we don’t want any more pain.

Write down all your fears and show it to him. Let him clear it out. Then together, burn that paper.

Let’s see if it works? Write to me after a month and let’s work on this further after that. Makes sense?

Love,
Joie Bose