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In the era of instant gratification, one-night stands serve the purpose of satisfying burning desires for both men and women. One-night stands are expected to be just casual sex with no relationships attached. There’s great sex with no drama afterwards. It’s a win-win situation. But expectations have a tendency of getting shattered! Though these days women have become more upfront in exploring their sexuality, yet the statistics reflect that 35% of those women regret having a one-night stand.
Having a one night stand for pleasure and with no strings attached can actually make you feel ashamed and guilty the next day. The more the brightness of the sun clears the memory of last night, the more you regret it. And before you know it, you are the one doing the walk of shame. We tell you 10 reasosn why women feel guilt, shame and regret after a one-night stand.
10 Reasons Why Women Regret One-Night Stands
Unfortunately, for a woman sex isn’t just a physical affair, as it is usually in the case of most men. No matter how much they try to make it a casual fling, it doesn’t end without strings getting attached. At times, having a fling with a creep is something which makes her dread the whole one-night stand thing and sometimes it’s just their gut telling them that they screwed up.
Here are 10 reasons why women regret one-night stands:
Related reading: 12 Things you need to know about one-night stands
1. A one-night stand was never your fantasy
You might not be among the women whose fantasy included one-night stands. You might have gone for it when you were drunk or sad and now that you have realised it, you can’t look at yourself in the mirror. You feel that you have cheated yourself. You regret the one-night stand.
2. You could not limit it to one night
You thought of having sex just for one night but you could not follow the ‘no commitments’ rule. The physical attraction got you both engaged for a few more meetings and you can’t go back. You feel shame and guilt after a one-night stand.
3. He was no stranger; your one-night stand was with a friend
You had no idea that one night’s fun would open a passage of guilt and awkwardness. You now fear that you might lose your friendship. You are at a crossroads where you might be thinking of never doing it again or wanting some more because of how good it was, but you are not sure what he has in mind.
And because of this awkwardness, there are chances of your friendship being ruined. You regret the one-night stand then.
4. He was a stranger, you cannot find him now
Regret is an unpleasant and negative feeling, but it is never all about guilt or shame. Your stranger was so good that you regret not being able to know more about him. You crave it more and specifically with him.
5. You are the control freak, and you think you lost control
You are usually the one who lives by rules and indulges in some fun without thinking it through. But this time you feel that you lost control. You question your ability to make decisions.
Because choices are the mirrors that show who we actually are. You regret the one-night stand and feel shame and guilt after it.
6. You were sad or depressed, so you wanted an escape
Rebound and regret walk hand in hand. You wanted to forget what he did or the big fight that you both had and you ended up doing something that your soul never would have agreed to. You cannot do away with the shame you feel after the one-night stand.
7. Crisis of faith. You feel love and commitment are overrated
You were cheated by your partner or dumped by him. You lost faith in love and commitment. You now do not want to confront those feelings so you decide to settle for the regret of flings instead, because that’s more comfortable and easier than having to confront the pain of a broken heart.
Related reading: 5 women share their experience of one-night stands
8. You might have found someone worthy enough for a long-term relationship
You wanted a one-night stand to run away from long-term relationships and any sort of commitment, but you ended up befriending the guy and you both get along too well. Now you regret spoiling the fun.
9. You were too drunk to remember if you took enough precautions
Women always have too much to lose. You had a one-night stand with a complete stranger who could have an STD. You regret not taking precautions and dread that he could have passed it on to you. You don’t remember whether you used a condom or had a pill because you were too drunk to do any of it.
10. Women are wired to feel anything and everything deeply
You might go to bed with no fear and shame, but you will wake up feeling the total opposite, because women think about their actions. While having an encounter they might not think it through, but the next morning will bring in an inflow of all kinds of thoughts. Emotions will creep in and shit gets real.
Have you ever woken up to a morning full of regrets? Feeling ashamed after a one-night stand?
5 tips not to feel guilty after a one-night stand
If you are feeling ashamed after a one-night stand here are 5 tips to stop feeling guilty after one-night stands
- If the regret comes because the sex was bad and made you uncomfortable, you can take this as a bad experience and stop thinking about it by diverting your mind by doing other things during the day
- Whatever time you invest in regretting will be a complete waste, because that was a one-night thing. You might not see him ever again, so it’s useless thinking about it
- You have questions in your head, but you need to tell yourself that not all questions need answers. Even if you feel the urge of getting them answered, be straightforward and ask him. You might be surprised to hear his end
- If it was with a friend or an ex of yours, emotions were bound to creep in. Deal with it like an adult. You cannot heal what you cannot confront, so go and talk to him. It might sweep the awkwardness away
- By agreeing to a one-night stand if you have cheated your partner, be bold enough to confess. Only confessing and apologising will make you feel better and your partner might forgive you
The fact is that life changes in one moment. You might also feel that you changed in one moment or your values flipped, but going on a guilt-trip or feeling ashamed of your actions won’t be of much help. You can either sit there regretting what you’ve done or dust away the guilt and stand up to see
what comes next and move on! The choice is yours!