Ahana Ray was a lethal combo of beauty and brains. She was not only the college topper but she was pretty as a picture. Her dark long tresses, fair skin, slim waist and dimples drew everyone’s attention instantly. She was an extrovert who would be bringing trophies home after joining debating competitions, quizzes and extempore competitions. Everything was going in her favour except for her financial status. She came from a humble home in the suburbs and stayed in a girl’s hostel in the city. She was always cash strapped and it pained her to see her rich friends bringing out the wads from their purses. She also wanted the branded jeans, the cool perfume and that tote bag that’s so much in fashion. That’s when someone mentioned the word sugar baby to her. Ahana decided to check out what being a sugar baby really meant.
Who Is A Sugar Baby?
In modern-day parlance, it’s a young girl who is studying in college or university but can’t afford the lifestyle she wants to have. So she gets a wealthy man, who is much older, established and loaded and who showers her with expensive gifts and even cash to help her live the lifestyle she wants. There’s no attachment or love involved here just a symbiotic relationship where she gets her financial need met and he gets a young, pretty girl for company.
Most often a sexual relationship is part of the deal but some elderly sugar daddies are okay with the companionship and harp more on dating and exotic holidays.
Sometimes this companionship is quite enjoyable because the young girl gets to learn about life from a person who has lived it and achieved much and the older person feels young in the company of this pretty girl.
What makes this sugar baby-sugar daddy relationship different from that between a prostitute and a client is that it is based on consent. Although money and gifts are the driving force of this relationship but both parties can say a direct “no” if they do not like each other or even if after a few days into the relationship things are not working in their favour. Young girls usually give up sugar daddies when they ask for sexual favours which are too kinky, they lack personal hygiene or are stingy with money.
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How to be a sugar baby?
After finding out what being a sugar baby really meant Ahana started researching how she could become one and land up a really rich and sophisticated sugar daddy.
To her surprise, she found that there were a number of sugar baby hookup sites where she could create a profile and start looking for her sugar daddy. She did precisely that and due to her pretty face, she started getting a rather good response.
But at 20 she was still in her idealistic state of mind when looking for a sugar daddy. She hoped she would land up someone like Christian Grey from 50 Shades Of Grey so she rejected all the men with the balding pate, the paunches or the moustache and beard – something she absolutely loathed. She kept looking for a Prince Charming-turned-sugar daddy something her friend, who already had a sugar daddy, said was a utopian concept. But Ahana wasn’t willing to give up. If she had to become a sugar baby the experience should be well worth it was her mantra.
So according to some tips from a friend she started networking. She started attending the high society parties and making friends with people in the right places. This she was told, was an effective way, because sugar daddies also look for sugar babies at places like this. So there was Ahana attending fashion dos, parties at farmhouses and she was there at corporate events and she had enough business cards to match faces of older men with. Then the calls started, casual ones for coffee meets, of course.
What is a sugar relationship?
A sugar baby-sugar daddy relationship as mentioned earlier is not like a prostitute or an escort because in that case, the woman has a number of clients.
In the case of a sugar relationship, it’s a long-term relationship between two people, where of course the financial perspective is very important.
Nowadays most university students in the US are opting to be sugar babies because it helps them pay their education fees and to tell you the truth people are less judgmental about a sugar relationship. That’s why now Sugar Baby Summits are held in the US and there are beauty pageants meant for Sugar Babies. Back home in India, there are plenty of young women who could be even working, who opt for a sugar relationship to give them a lifestyle they want.
Ahana’s reasoning is the same. But she realised that it’s important to have boundaries from the very beginning otherwise there is a possibility of a sugar relationship going haywire. When she started meeting prospective sugar daddies over coffee she realised it was mostly men over 45, they had a hefty bank balance but they were cautious with their money. They wouldn’t buy her a Jimmy Choo on the first meeting although they could take her to a five-star hotel for the first date.
Rules For A Sugar Baby
It’s important for sugar babies to follow certain rules otherwise they could land up in a spot. After careful research and talking to people Ahana set down the following rules for a sugar relationship.
1. Set boundaries
How far are you willing to go? How much sex is important in the relationship? Is it going to end in sex every time you meet or will it be shopping, eating out, movies and sometimes sex or not at all?
Discuss with your sugar daddy what they exactly want. And also discuss your availability, the need to do your own thing and the need to have your space. Your daddy should understand you are not at his beck and call so every time he calls, you don’t have to rush.
2. Financial arrangement
Will it be a set sum of money given to you every month or it will be mostly in kind and he would be paying some of your bills? Have the financial talk so that there are no misunderstandings later on. Ask for an advance that way you will know how much serious he is about the relationship.
Your sugar daddy might want to keep the relationship hush-hush but you could have no qualms about letting people know. Find out your comfort level about who knows and who doesn’t. Or it could be that your sugar daddy expects you to play the hostess when he is clinching important deals. What does he expect from you and what do you expect from him? Clear that out at the very beginning.
4. Emotional attachment
Some sugar daddies look for emotional attachment and companionship. You have to know how much are you willing to give that. And how you are going to deal with it if you get emotionally attached to your sugar daddy?
5. Will you have a boyfriend?
A sugar relationship is based on financial give and takes so you might want to be in a normal relationship as well. But you have to ask yourself if you can handle both the relationships and also how your sugar daddy feels about you having a boyfriend?
6. What is expected from you in public
In public are you expected to act as his girlfriend or are you supposed to have a business like a relationship? When you are at a party is it okay to dance closely, share a peck on the cheeks or walk around arm in arm? In other words, you have to know if he wants to flaunt his sugar baby or doesn’t?
How a sugar relationship starts
As Ahana found starting a sugar relationship is not really a very hard job once you find the right sugar daddy. It took her a few coffee outings before she spotted her sugar Prince at a party and the attraction was mutual. She was very honest from the beginning what she was looking for in the relationship and since her daddy was 25 years older to her, he also understood how things could work out.
He actually went a step further and drew up a legal contract so that there wouldn’t be any chance of her blackmailing him later on and vice versa.
Ahana found her sugar daddy to be extremely generous and within months she travelled abroad with him and when they were setting boundaries she had said that she would prefer to have separate rooms while travelling and he readily agreed. So she kept her boundaries intact, her purse is stashed with money and she is most often seen in a chauffeur-driven car. It’s a contract that’s working for her at the moment. She just hopes she doesn’t get emotionally attached to her handsome daddy. But right now she is grateful she got herself a gentleman daddy.