Love, a partner for life, a relationship that becomes your happily ever after – everyone covets these things. Some do it unabashedly, others secretly. With dating becoming more complex and relationships more transient than ever before, the answer to how to find love in itself has become an eternal quest.
Whether you’ve loved and lost before or just haven’t found someone you could lose your heart to, you know that the path to find true love in life isn’t easy. But it’s not impossible either. A change in your outlook toward what love is can make the journey much simpler.
To help you in your quest, we’re here to help you understand the secret to finding love.
21 Unrevealed Tips To Help You Find Love
Being in a relationship or finding your forever partner is not the be-all and end-all of life. But your life can become a sordid mess if you’re actively trying to find love without success. When love remains elusive, it can leave you overwhelmed with a sense of inadequacy and dent your sense of self-worth too.
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The first order of business is to consciously avoid falling in that trap. After you’ve done so successfully, use these 21 unrevealed tips on how to find love in your life:
1. Love yourself to find love
As they say, you cannot pour from an empty cup. So, the first and the most important secret to finding love is to inculcate copious amounts of self-love. It is the only way to ensure that you don’t let your choices be curtailed by your own limiting beliefs. Or settle for less than you deserve.
Besides, nurturing your body, mind and soul with love can truly make you thrive. In turn, making you more attractive and appealing to prospective love interests.
2. Don’t leave love to fate
The love of your life knocking on your door on a lazy summer afternoon and ushering in a whirlwind romance that sweeps you off your feet happens only in the Bridges of Madison County. Real life is far removed from such fairy tale fiction.
Don’t make the mistake of leaving love to fate if you really desire a romantic partnership. Put in some effort and actively seek out opportunities to find someone to love. However, this doesn’t mean being desperate. Go about your life as you normally would but carve out time to put yourself out there.
3. Know what you want
Before you start seeking an answer to how to find love, figure out what love means to you. Are you looking for a passionate romance the thought of which will leave you weak in the knees years from now? Do you want a partner for life? Be honest about what you want because your pursuit to find love will differ depending on your goals.
These goals may change over time, and that’s perfectly okay. But you need to be sure of exactly what you want in the present to be able to seek it. Don’t set your goals just for the sake of conforming with societal norms or pressure. It’d be a disservice to yourself and any potential partner.
4. Be ready to invest
If you’re looking to meet the love of your life and build a long-term relationship with them, you have to be prepared to invest. Your time, your emotions, and a part of yourself. So, introspect a little to understand if you’re ready for that kind of commitment.
Don’t just desire love because the idea of it seems aspirational to you. Understand what you’re signing up beforehand.
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5. Know your value as a partner
This is an extension to the idea of inculcating self-love before you love someone else. That said, these are two underrated yet crucial tips to find love soon. Knowing your value as a potential partner can be difficult, as it is hard to see yourself through someone else’s eyes.
It can become that much harder if you have been in toxic relationships in the past where your partner thrived on deprecating your sense of self. Try, nonetheless. An assessment of your own value can help steer your search toward practically viable partners.
6. Focus on self-growth
Becoming a well-rounded, balanced person holds the key to how to find love. Start by accepting that you don’t need another person to complete you or bring meaning to your existence. Your partner’s role in your life is to complement you. Someone with whom you can be the best version of yourself. And the same is true for them.
Focusing on self-growth allows you to be the partner who is complete enough to complement the other perfectly.
7. Set the bar for relationship standards
Every so often, we’re told to adjust, compromise, settle that we begin to feel guilty about expecting our partners and relationships to meet certain standards. Expecting a relationship to live up to your standards is not a bad thing. As long as, you are equipped to meet them too.
While it’s true that any relationship requires adjustments and compromises from both partners, these should be confused with making peace with unsatisfying relationships. Before you set out to meet the love of your life, gain clarity on how high you want to set the bar for relationship standards.
This will help you separate the wheat from chaff when you meet potential partners.
8. How to find love? Try humor
Everyone enjoys a hearty laugh. People feel comfortable when the vibe around them is upbeat and light-hearted. That’s why the secret to finding love may lie in honing your humorous side. Positive humor and a witty streak can enhance your appeal manifold.
At the same time, you may want to steer clear of sarcasm or dry humor that may make you come across as prudish or insecure even. No one finds that attractive.
9. Look for opportunities to connect with like-minded people
Want to know how to find love? How about starting with small efforts like frequenting places where you’re likely to meet people you have a lot in common with? Let’s say, you are passionate about cycling. Join a local cyclists’ club. It will naturally augment your chances of meeting someone like-minded and hitting it off instantly.
It’s a whole lot better than being caught in the rut of left swipes and bad dates.
10. Ask your friends for help
The good old-fashioned wingman is still an effective approach to find true love in life. They can help you break social barrier, introduce you to potential partners. Heck, they can spot red flags and prevent you from making poor choices that you may be blind to. So, if you’re intent on finding love in your life, don’t hesitate in accepting help from your friends.
In fact, there is no reason why you can’t ask them for it upfront too.
11. Put away your phone
Have you found yourself wondering why do people always say when you meet the right person you know it, except you never do? How do you expect to meet the love of your life with your head buried in your phone at all time?
Do yourself a favor and make it a habit to put away your phone when you’re out and about socializing. That email from work, that Instagram notification, that Tinder alert can all wait a couple of hours. Practice the art of being present in the moment if you want to keep the hopes of meeting someone interesting alive.
One smart way of doing this is to put your phone on silent and stashing it away in your handbag or pocket.
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12. Seek partnership, not romance
If your idea of finding love is a relationship that sustains for the long haul, then you should seek a partnership and not romance per se. This is not to say that you end up with someone you have no romantic feelings for or aren’t attracted to. But that, you should prioritize a potential mate who can bring stability, rhythm, and maturity to the table rather than someone with a promise of a dizzying romance.
This is one of those practical tips to find love soon that will save you from getting your heart skinned over and over again.
13. You attract what you are
If you’re a happy, confident person, you will attract someone who has the same vibe. Similarly, if you’re forever riddled with self-doubt, you will inevitably draw attention from people who’re wallowing in a similar negative sense of self.
That can’t lead to a happy, enduring relationship. So, pay attention to any underlying, unresolved issues that may be meddling with your state of mind. Fixing these can unlock the secret to finding love.
14. Embrace your flaws
No one is perfect. That includes you. So, stop being too harsh on yourself or exalting yourself to unreasonably high standards. Your crooked nose, your tendency to cry at the drop of a hat, your over-thinking mind – they make you who you’re.
So, don’t focus all your energies into figuring out how you can ‘fix yourself’. Instead, embrace your flaws. It will make it easier for you to accept that any potential partner will come with their share of flaws and shortcoming too. And you won’t bolt the moment you begin to spot them.
15. Don’t be desperate to find love
While leaving love to fate is not the way to go, being desperate in your attempts to find love isn’t the best recourse either. Don’t obsess over why you’re single or why your relationships don’t work out.
If you’re spending sleepless nights fretting over the lack of a partner in your life or are talking to your mailman about how difficult it is to get by life alone, know that you’re already wading into desperate waters.
Invest your time and energies into pursuing ambitions, hobbies or other relationships that bring you joy. When you see there is more to life than just being in love, your desperation will begin to wane.
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16. Say ‘yes’ to more dates
Waiting for that ‘I think I found the one’ eureka moment in your life? Well, waiting alone ain’t gonna cut it. You have to meet new people to able to find the one for you. One of the simplest tips to find love soon is to say ‘yes’ to more dates.
We know that surviving a string of bad dates that lead nowhere can be exhausting. Remind yourself that it takes only one good one to put an end to that cycles forever. So, venture out and meet prospective partners as often as you can.
17. Don’t seek love out of fear
To find true love in life, your motivation needs to be right. If you’re doing it out of the fear that you will end up alone in life or the anxiety of a ticking body clock, you will end of making hasty decisions.
You know how that pans out more often than not. A hasty decision means ending up with someone who is not right for you. Such relationships end badly. When that happens, you will end up alone again and that body clock will still be ticking. Round and round in circles you’ll go.
So, don’t let these pressures get to you. Take your time before you decide, ‘I think I found the one’.
18. Don’t put your life on hold
Don’t put your life on hold until you meet the love of your life. Doing so will only make you bitter and devoid of any zest for life. These traits, in turn, would repel any potential partner with whom you see a future. Such rejections further push you down the rabbit hole of poor self-esteem.
So, take that trip you’ve been wanting to. Build a rock-solid career. Buy that dream car or house whilst you go about your quest for love. These things can happen alongside one another. Not having love is no reason to punish or deny yourself little joys of life.
19. Don’t tie down love to life milestones
If you’re fixated on life goals like get married by 30, have the first kid by 32 and the second by 35, you’d naturally rush through the process of finding love. In the process, you may end up settling for the person you’re dating at 28 to make sure you stay on track to meet these milestones.
This person may turn out to be someone who makes you miserable or just isn’t right for you. What if you, then, come across your one true love at 35, as a person trapped in an unhappy marriage with kids?
So, don’t tie down love to life milestones. Sometimes it’s best to let life take its own course. This is definitely, one such situation.
Related Reading: 8 Signs From The Universe That Love Is Coming Your Way
20. Opposites attract is a juvenile take on love
Beware of the ‘opposites attract’ notion that has been propagated in the name of love for eons. It may work well for a high school romance or a fleeting fling but certainly not in the case of stable, long-term relationships.
When two people are fundamentally different from each other, friction points are bound to arise sooner or later. These can take a toll on your relationship, peace of mind and future together.
21. Embrace love when you find it
As they say, when you meet the right person you know it. If you’re at that point, don’t self-sabotage a relationship by overthinking or being consumed with self-doubt. When the right person comes along in your life, they just fit in. Perfectly. Sometimes you may not be able to pinpoint why but you can definitely feel it in your gut. If you do, learn to trust your instincts, and take a leap of faith.
These tips will help broaden your horizons on how to find love. With this newfound perspective, go look for the love of your life. The world is your oyster.
Unfortunately, there is no science to predict one’s chances of finding love. That said, you can definitely succeed if you know what you want and look for it in the right places.
You can increase your chances of finding love by putting yourself out there, saying yes to dates and figuring out what you’re seeking from love.
Anywhere you can meet and connect with like-minded people you have a lot in common with is the best place to find love.