How I Found Out My Boyfriend Was A Virgin

When we met I was 28 and he was 29. I was already through two relationships and he told me that he had one relationship, for a few months that did not go beyond holding hands and a few light pecks. I wasn’t a virgin but he claimed he was. That’s how I found out my boyfriend was a virgin. He told me upfront.

I never asked how he was still a virgin at 29, neither did he ask me any details of my passionate encounters. We let our relationship bloom. The fact that my boyfriend is a virgin but I’m not didn’t impact those initial days of heady romance.

I must say that he was an ace kisser and the way he held me when he hugged me turned me on instantly. Seeing his confidence I sometimes had doubts if he was really a virgin or he was just telling me a lie. I thought there would be telling signs a guy is a virgin but in his case, there didn’t seem to be any. Well, at least for as long as our physical intimacy was still in nascent stages.

I did not dwell on this and enjoyed the intimacy. But I soon found out that he was a virgin – completely, truly.

5 Signs That Showed My Boyfriend Was A Virgin

Within a few months of dating, after a party, we went for coffee to my apartment. I lived in a small apartment alone. Prior to this, he had never expressed any desire to come to my place but that night he was keen and I went with the flow.

That’s how I found out my boyfriend was a virgin, and also what it meant for our sex life:

1. He was inexperienced

The coffee was made but we didn’t have the patience to sip it. We were all desire. It was absolutely crazy until it came to the time to go all the way. He couldn’t make out where he could go in.

One of the most telling signs a guy is still a virgin is when he doesn’t know his way around a woman’s body. By that, I don’t mean not knowing the right pleasure spots and buttons but that he is absolutely clueless about what goes where.

Since my boyfriend was a virgin before me, it was hardly a surprise when he struggled to figure out the technicalities of intercourse. So, putting my experience to good use, I took the lead and guided him in.

2. He had no control over the motion

Men always wonder do girls mind being with a virgin. Well, picture yourself in a situation where you are burning up with desire but instead of hot and happening action, you get abrupt staccatos of thrusts that just don’t go on smoothly long enough for you to feel the pleasure.

This was also one of the revelations that really drove home the realization that my boyfriend is a virgin. He had no idea how much thrust was needed to keep the act going. He didn’t have control over the motion and kept slipping out.

It actually took us three-four sessions to get it right. But finally, when he got it right there was no stopping him. 

3. He wasn’t shy at all but didn’t know how to unhook

When discussing the pros and cons of being a male virgin, it is often said that men who are virgins are shy in bed. My virgin boyfriend wasn’t shy at all. He didn’t think that the lack of sexual experience was a reflection of his ability to please a woman in bed. That I truly admired.

But that admiration didn’t quite come close to compensating for the fact that he did not know how to unhook my bra. Since my boyfriend was a virgin before me and had not been with a woman before, not even going to the second base, I guess, it was to be expected.

It was somewhat new to me to see a guy trying to solve the puzzle of two hooks but I didn’t really mind. I would help him to unhook in those initial days but now he is a pro.  

4. He was in pain

It is said that with women the first time sometimes it hurts. The hymen could break or it could be broken earlier too. So a woman might bleed on her first time and she might not too. Bleeding is not really a sign if she is a virgin or not. But since the passage is still narrow because of no earlier sexual activity it sometimes hurts the first time.

Little did I know that pain and discomfort were also among the signs a guy is a virgin. My boyfriend also went through it the first few times. He was in a bit of pain and did get flushed out there. There were a few drops of blood too. But soon it became alright as we started making out more often.

Related Reading: Stop Conditioning Your Girl To Be A Virgin Bride

5. He had all the theoretical knowledge

Among the pros and cons of being a male virgin, the question of his knowledge about sex does come up. While a lot of people would see it as a clear disadvantage that his knowledge is all theoretical, derived from porn and B-grade erotic fiction, it can actually prove to be a huge plus mark in his favor.

As the days went by, my boyfriend started suggesting different pleasurable sex positions and touch me in places that I didn’t know were my erotic zones. I often asked him how knew so much? He would laugh and say that he had been reading up for years. It finally gave him immense pleasure that he could try everything with me.

Now, I often tease him about how I came to know he was a virgin. All the classic signs a guy is still a virgin were too apparent in the case of my boyfriend. He told me that he didn’t want to go all the way unless he was absolutely sure of the relationship. I am glad he felt sure and secure with me to lose his virginity. Even more so that the whole ‘my boyfriend is virgin but I’m not’ situation did not become a hindrance in our relationship.

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