Breaking up with a genuinely decent boyfriend can be a nerve-wracking experience in comparison to dumping one who is a complete rascal. Obviously you have spent many days with him to make you realise that he is not the right guy for you or vice versa. But still he is an awesome person who is always there for you and you do not want to hurt him. So the wise move on your part would be to breakup with him respectfully.
You must have made up your mind that you do not want to continue your relationship with your boyfriend. But then you must be thinking that dumping him would really suck and you will end up hurting him, especially emotionally. Instead of having a guilt trip, you should end your relationship in such a humane way that he can recover from the heartbreak expediently. This is the last courtesy that he deserves from you.
What to say when you want to breakup with your boyfriend?
The worse thing that you can do is to dump your boyfriend without giving him enough explanation as to why you want to breakup with him. Do not leave him without any genuine reasons or breakup with him via a text message, email or social media post. Go and meet him face-to-face to make things clear for him, so that he can understand the entire situation.
If you are a woman thinking of breaking up with your boyfriend, chances are that he doesn’t have even any clue about it. That probably makes it even more difficult.
Things that you should say when you want to end your relationship with your boyfriend gracefully are-
- Prepare him: First off, let him know that you have to discuss something really important with him. This will help prepare his mind for a serious conversation with you
- Start with positives: Start by letting him know why you value him in your life and how glad you are that you have got to know him
- Make him comfortable: When you are breaking up with your boyfriend, make sure you don’t do it in a brash or curt way. You owe it to him to make it as smooth as possible and ease the pain whatever little you can. At the end of it, you will walk out of it with more dignity than otherwise
- Tell him why: Guys are less emotional than girls. If you explain to him why you are breaking up with him, chances are that he will understand, and even agree with your points. Do you think you have different aspirations in life? Do you think being in a relationship is making things too complicated? Do you think that it is going too fast for you?
- Accept your mistakes: Chances are that the relationship failed because of both of you. Don’t try to put all the blame on your boyfriend while breaking up, if that’s the case. Accept your mistakes and take responsibility for them. He will respect you more for this and you can end the relationship amicably. After that, tell him about the things that you would fail to provide him as a partner. For instance, let him know that you are not ready for serious commitment; it is not like you have someone else in your life, but you want to breakup with him so that things do not get messed up in the future
- Be frank: If there is something about him that you do not like and are not ready to accept, then let him know about that in a subtle way while breaking up. Tell him how you are finding yourself judging him and are losing touch with him because of that. It is not fair to him and it seems to you that you are not ready to be serious with him – say this to him clearly
- Do not give false hope: Mention it clearly that you want to breakup and you do not think that things are going to work out between the two of you. Do not say things like “Let us take a break for some time”, because that will just give him false hope that you two will get back together later.
- Seek forgiveness: Ask for forgiveness, because the breakup talk will obviously hurt him and make him embarrassed
- End it with a positive or a kind message for him: For example, “I will always remember the memorable moments spent with you.” Or “I hope you find a beautiful and smart girl who deserves you better.”
- Listen: Your boyfriend may have been taken by surprise and shock over the breakup announcement. He may feel angry, upset and deceived. If he opts to release his feelings, listen to him. Listen to what he has to say and give him enough time to digest the entire scenario
Good reasons to break up with your boyfriend
Moving on would be the finest option for the two of you if any of the following reasons are behind your breakup:
- Someone else occupies your mind and your heart
- When you think your life would be better off without him or vice versa
- Fighting becomes way too common among the two of you
- If your future seems bleak with him, then respectfully breaking up is the best thing to do
- When you feel like you both have a bad influence on each other
- Serious mismatch between your dreams and his dreams
- You fail to get along with his friends or relatives despite a lot of effort or the other way round
- Both fail to give enough time to each other to keep the relationship healthy
- People around you start disliking your relationship because they can see it failing
- Your intuition keeps telling you that you are not happy and probably separation is the only way out
- You are unable to grow as a person ever since you both are together
- There are certain flaws that you are unwilling to accept in your partner
How to break up with your boyfriend without hurting him?
Looking for a kind way to break up without hurting your boyfriend? If yes then these tips will surely be of great help to you:
- Be as direct as possible, because this will allow him to understand why you broke up with him and thus give him an opportunity to move on
- Give him a valid reason for the separation. Be honest and in a kind way let him know why you are leaving him
- Even if he begs you to think about the relationship again, ignore the request. You have to stand firm and make sure you do what you are supposed to do
- Make sure you break up when the time is right. In case your boyfriend is already going through certain difficulties, then it will be best to avoid telling him about your decision. When he is stress-free, you can break the news to him
- Before the breakup, discuss the whole situation with a close relative or friend and ask for his/her valued opinion
- Prepare yourself to deal with the outburst of your boyfriend’s emotions and make him feel comfortable
Getting over the breakup
In the aftermath of the breakup, it is essential that you both avoid being friends to each other at least for the first few months. You both need space to get over the heartbreak. So even if your boyfriend calls or texts you, you must not respond. Spend time doing the things you like and hang out with your friends. Depression after breakup is real, so keep a watch on it.
It is normal that you will blame yourself for the breakup. Breakup healing process is slow and takes time. However, in due course of time, you will get rid of the guilt, and feel happy and blessed that you were able to end things with your boyfriend respectfully and maturely.
A breakup is not the end of a relationship. You may still be friends with your ex and over time that may turn out to be more beautiful than when you were partners. But it all depends on how you breakup with your boyfriend in the first place.