Breaking Up Over Text – How Cool Is It?

Break up And Loss | |
Updated On: May 6, 2024
is it okay to break up over text

Thinking of breaking up over text? If yes, think again. Typically, it is considered to be a thoughtless act but ultimately it all depends on your relationship and circumstances. When you are in a relationship, you both share happiness, sadness as well as special moments with each other on a daily basis. Some of you might not just be spending quality time with one another but also living together.

No matter what situation your relationship is going through, breaking up over text should be your last resort. When a guy breaks up with you over text or a girl calls it quits with a message, the first thing that comes to mind is that they are not ready to take accountability and face the consequences of a breakup. In a way, breaking up with someone over text is like taking an escape route.

Is it okay to break up over text? We get this query quite often. Despite its shortcomings, people often choose this path to avoid sentimental confrontation. No doubt that it is one of the most recent and trendiest ways of breaking up in this digital era, but its own pros and cons. So, you must think carefully while weighing the option of breaking up via text messages.

Is It Okay To Break Up Over Text?

There is nothing happy or joyful or funny about a breakup. If you’re getting out of a violent/abusive/codependent relationship that was sucking the life out of you, the breakup may bring a sense of relief but it is still far from a happy or joyful experience. That notwithstanding, if you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you should break up for good and it doesn’t matter how you do it – in person or breaking up via text.

If you had a good relationship that has, for some reason, run its course for you, you must remember that a breakup will be an emotionally crushing experience for your partner. So you must be mindful of the way in which you try to end the relationship. Yes, summing up all your feelings in a text message can seem like an easier alternative to having that tough conversation in person. That’s why breaking up over text has become immensely popular among millennials and Gen-Zers. Before you hop on this bandwagon, ask yourself, “Is it really okay to break up over text?”

While it is very convenient for the person pulling the plug, it may feel demeaning to the partner on the receiving end. So then, why do guys break up over text messages? Or why do girls send break-up texts to their partners? And is it ever okay to do so? There are so many questions to be addressed here, and we’ll get to them all, one by one. So, hang in there!

It could be okay to break up over text if your entire relationship has been virtual and you’ve been conveying your feelings through love messages over text, otherwise receiving a text like that could be a jolt and you can expect an instant phone call from them. What to do when your boyfriend breaks up with you over text or your girlfriend ends the relationship with a single message? Well, is there really much left to do when one person in the relationship has already made up their mind to end things once and for all? It may hurt you deeply that they didn’t bother to discuss such an important decision in person. But sometimes breaking up over texts works, we tell you when.

Related Reading: How To Respond To A Breakup Text

Breaking Up Over Text – When Is It Okay?

There is a good side to breaking up over text and here is a list of benefits of choosing to end a relationship in this manner. You might be wondering what good can come out of a text message along the lines of “This will be my last message to you”. But sometimes the distance that breaking up over text offers can help you avoid an ugly scene that you could be dreading from afar.

Or maybe you’ve realized that your long-distance relationship isn’t working and calling it quits in person isn’t an option. This could also leave you in a dilemma over whether you should be breaking up over text or not. In such a situation, it can prove to be a blessing that liberates you from the captivity of a relationship that was getting more difficult to maintain with each passing day. So, you see, there are instances and situations where it’s okay to send a breakup text.

1. You can dodge unwanted questions

Breaking up on text is suited for those who do not want to get caught up in questions to which there are no answers. What can you really say when you are falling out of love and there is no valid explanation? Or, maybe there is but you cannot express it without hurting your partner. So, coming back to questions like why do guys break up over text messages or why do girls end relationships with a message, the answer could be because it is the best way to avoid the tears, confrontation, and questions this way.

2. It helps to prevent the dirty breakup fight

It is not a given that there will always be a fight after a breakup. But it is better to be on the safer side and break up on text to avoid the fights that can escalate in no time. In most cases, people try to do what’s right for them and their soon-to-be-ex partners and end the relationship on good terms. But it’s possible that a breakup conversation may not go as planned.

Just because you are trying to handle the matter in a mature way doesn’t mean your partner will always see your point of view. You can also find yourself at the receiving end of a great deal of screaming, shouting and fighting if they did not see the breakup coming or are not ready to end the relationship. Not everyone can break up amicably. Breaking up with someone over text removes the drama from the equation.

Related Reading: Does The No Contact Rule After Break Up Work?

3. No need to give long explanations

A short and crisp reason to end your relationship is enough when breaking up through text. There is no need for long passages of explanations and reasons, making it convenient for you to cite your rationale unhesitatingly. As you don’t have to face your partner while breaking up via text, you get the scope to think and choose your words carefully.

You can decide how much you want to say and the extent of clarification you want to offer for your decision to break up. The more you talk about something, the more you go into circles where you can’t really give a convincing explanation to your partner. In that case, breaking up over text is better.

4. Avoid awkward moments

Awkward moments like farewell hugs or promises to remain friends forever are common when a couple mutually feels that the relationship can no longer go on. These situations are entirely unavoidable if you try to break up with a partner who lives with you under the same roof.

Is it okay to break up over text? Well, it would certainly give you an edge if you don’t excel at confrontations. At least, once you’ve vocalized your decision to break up and the tensions have simmered down, having a conversation with your partner may not be that difficult. So, yes, if you want to evade these awkward moments, then break up over a text.

5. It can be more considerate

Breaking up over text can be a kinder and more considerate choice than doing it in person. If you plan to break up in person, you’d have to meet over dinner, lunch, or at least, coffee in order to talk about it. Because your friend Dan recommended breaking up in a public place so that you can minimize the crying and leave whenever you want.

Boy, little did you know how it may backfire! Maybe you called your partner and said those four dreaded words, “We need to talk”, but they completely misread the situation and were expecting some good news, maybe even a proposal. But you drop the breakup bomb on the table all of a sudden. Some people take breakups harder than others and it will be more hurtful for your girlfriend/boyfriend. Therefore, opting for breaking up over text can be less hurtful.

Related Reading: Why Do Breakups Hit Guys Later?

Is It Rude To Break Up Over Text?

Letting your partner know at the right time that you no longer have feelings for him/her or that you do not want to continue the relationship can save both of you from hardships. But it could come across as rude if you just drop them a text to that effect, or worse still, copy-paste a breakup text and send it to your partner.

Breakups don’t happen suddenly, there are always signs that indicate a breakup is coming. But letting your partner know about all this via a text message is not a viable option for all. Breaking up over text is not always the right way to go about it. Why? Continue reading.

Breaking up over text is a cowardly and sloppy move on your side, akin to running away from a situation. It shows that you are not handling your relationship maturely. Besides, break up over text lacks proper clarification on the part of the sender. So it is difficult for the partner who receives the news of a breakup to deal with it.

Such a way of breaking up usually leaves behind a messy trail of unresolved feelings and guilt in the mind of your partner. Your partner may feel they deserved a more respectable ending rather than being forced to deal with moving on without proper closure. What to do when your boyfriend breaks up with you over text or your girlfriend calls it quits with a message? Any self-respectful person should accept the deal and move on without begging them to stay.

When one breaks up with someone face-to-face, there is still a chance of reviving the relationship. However, a breakup over a text leaves little room for reconciliation. You cannot expect a broken relationship to go back on track as there is no room left for any kind of communication and dialogue between the two partners.

The text comes as a rude jolt and leaves a bitter aftertaste that you simply don’t see any signs that the relationship is worth saving. Breaking up over text might be less brutal than ghosting or entirely shunning your partner, but there is no denying that it is a rude gesture.

breaking up via text
Ask your partner whether she is sure about it

How Do You Respond To A Break-Up Text?

Imagine your boyfriend or girlfriend has ended your relationship over a text and now you are wondering how to respond to the text. Remember the smart move is to act maturely and respond in a peaceful manner. Following are a few of the points to be kept in mind while responding to break up text:

Related Reading: How To Get Through A Breakup Alone?

1. Ask your partner whether he/she is sure about it

First of all, when a guy breaks up with you over text or a girl tells you she doesn’t want to be with you anymore in a message, don’t jump right to shouting at them. Going into a spiral as soon as you receive the breakup text will not do you any good. Take your time to comprehend what went wrong, and try to reflect if there were always the signs your relationship is over that you never really noticed. Once you have calmed yourself down, respond to the text now. Ask him (or her) whether he (or she) is serious about the decision and is not playing a prank on you.

2. Do not beg him/her to stay

Remember breakups are a part and parcel of a relationship. If you both are not meant to be, then it is something that you must accept with grace. Accept that your relationship is over and your life is not going to end without him/her. You cannot force someone to stay in an unfulfilling relationship and love you back. Instead of pondering over if it is okay to break up over text, you should save the last bit of your dignity and let them go instead of begging hopelessly.

3. Avoid insulting your partner

When someone breaks up with you over text, you should respect their decision. Getting over someone you love deeply is not an easy task, especially when they don’t offer you a proper explanation. But it will still be disrespectful on your part to insult your partner and behave rudely with them. Try to be polite and calm while talking even if you are broken from the inside and want to have an ugly fight. Avoid all this, so that you do not regret it later.

4. Ask for an explanation

Why do guys break up over text? Why do girls end relationships with a text? Perhaps, it is a feeble attempt to avoid the exhausting questions about the what, when, why and how of it all. But for the sake of your satisfaction, you should definitely try your best to know the reason behind the breakup. This will give you peace of mind and free you of your dilemmas over your partner’s decision to pull the plug on your relationship. Knowing the reason for the breakup will help you deal with your emotions better. You won’t be kept grappling in the dark.

Related Reading: 18 Definite Signs Your Ex Will Eventually Come Back

5. Say your goodbyes maturely

It is always recommended that you end your relationship on a good note. When it’s finally time to say goodbye to someone you loved once, try to be as compassionate as you can. Give it some time to compose a proper farewell text and send it to him or her so that you can move on with your life and let them off the hook for good. It is always right to fight for your loved one but a big part of love is letting go of the person you love.

stories about breakup and loss

What does it mean when someone breaks up with you over a text?

It simply means the person did not value you or the relationship enough to work on saving it or even discussing the differences and coming to a mutual decision to break up. It means the person who sent you the breakup text wants an easy way out of the relationship and is not capable of understanding your feelings. Also, they find it difficult to express their emotions in a proper way.

We feel a breakup text should help you to move on faster because you realize that being in a relationship with this person could spell more trouble in the future. They are incapable of handling high-pressure situations and could desert you again at the first hint of trouble by dropping a text.

Instead of being intimidated as to how to end your relationship, you need to pick the right way to break the news to your partner. Definitely, a breakup over text should not be your first choice as it reduces the scope of the conversation. However, if your relationship is unsafe for your physical and mental health or it is just a casual fling, then breaking up over text does not seem to be a very bad option to try out.

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