Women have (since eternity) claimed to have all the answers in understanding relationships, while we men are the ones who are psyched out. Yet everywhere women go around shouting from the roofs – It’s a Man’s world! How?
I would like to share some of my personal experiences as far as relationships with the proverbial, ‘weaker’ sex’ are concerned.
Wonderful experience :
1, Natasha Singh, 31.
After having spent two months drinking over-priced, insipid coffee, after watching almost every other movie together we graduated to more sought-after late-night hours, over drinking sessions when finally one fine Sunday morning I surprised Natasha by barging into her house with an enviable bouquet of roses and home-made tea that would serve as our bed-tea. She confessed that this was by far the most romantic gesture that she had experienced. I also wanted to confess that I almost failed to recognise her without makeup but wisely kept quiet. By late afternoon we had graduated to intimate lovers and both of us were in bliss.
We had our first fight – rather disagreement – because of the grand toilet seat. She came back from the washroom and politely accused me of being insensitive since I failed to lift the toilet seat. I let it go. Later in the evening she pointed it out again but this time I decided to play the ball back at her suggesting if the toilet seat meant so much then why wasn’t she lifting it after using it, why should this be a man’s prerogative in a society where both sexes are equal?
Suddenly this doe-eyed beauty turned into an aggressive feminist and blamed me for all of womankind’s misery and all this over one toilet seat.
I rushed home and relieved myself of more than just piss.
2. Pragya Rajput (27) a double MA in Literature and Sociology.
Pragya was nothing short of a revelation; a perfect blend of beauty and brains and luckily for me, on the rebound. Adding to her CV was the fact that she felt ‘feminism’ had lost its way as a concept and was now more a means to an end; rather, the end itself. She was one of those women who looked as comfortable at a roadside chai-tapri as she was in a restaurant, a real chill-pill. Until I started finding my phone light ON, whenever I got back from a loo break. Also, whenever she spotted any women in the vicinity, her volume would go up and she would suddenly turn touchy-feely. It took me a while to register that she was obnoxiously possessive and suspicious. I will admit, to an extent this possessiveness and suspicion did boost my male ego and made me feel wanted, but we weren’t so special to each other just yet and what’s the point of having a girlfriend who behaves like a wife?
However, when I did bring it up I discovered I had opened a Pandora’s box. This accusation according to her was a clear ‘give-away’ that I was cheating and that’s why I had a problem with HER checking MY phone and spoiling our relationship! Her tone was shrill and I was sure in a few seconds her well-polished nails would turn into claws. I beat Usain Bolt home.
Home sweet home, thank God for Netflix and whiskey, why complicate life further?
Bridezilla – Naina Shah, 34, well-educated South Bombay girl, half Gujarati-half Punjabi, the perfect candidate for a Big Fat Indian wedding but alas that’s where the problem lay. She had dated the dates, kissed the fools and let the kisses fool her but still no wedding ring to go with her ticking biological clock. In walks ‘yours truly’, and we actually hit it off like Adam and Eve.
We were behaving like teenagers, if we weren’t on the phone then we were texting and if not we would be sitting together, mostly in South Bombay and she would play the tour-guide.
In time, I realised, everything was being summed up in the context of ‘us’, ‘we’, ‘ours’ and worryingly everything had a ‘future’, and that’s when my present got tense. In one of her happier moments she mentioned that she was glad I lived in Bombay and she won’t have to bid adieu to her city.
I hadn’t yet imagined a happily-ever-after moment but even if I had, Naina had already gone too far for me to play catch-up. Eventually when the hints finally gave way to straightforward questions – I played dumb and she played me. Played me for what those romantic evenings implied, played me for what those crazy 3-4 hour phone conversations meant or those million WhatsApp messages that we exchanged. In all honesty given the Bombay traffic and her free Jio sim card, phone conversations were the next best thing to meeting every day but I didn’t have the heart to tell Naina that. I was half threatened with a ‘rape’ complaint if marriage was not happening but I knew my Naina; she was desperate but not a bitch, hurt but not by me and she knew it.
I was and am still sad to not spend more time with her. Maybe things would have been different then but in hindsight I have serious doubts if this really is a Man’s World!