I no longer want to fall in love. In fact, lovey-dovey couples make me laugh. They seem to exist in a make-believe world, fully aware of its futility. These lovers wear many masks. Especially, far from their beloved’s loving gaze, captured and much-flaunted in many a picture on their Facebook pages. Just go through their cellphones and you will know what I mean. Cellphones and relationship problems are going hand in hand actually.
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Cellphones And Relationship Problems
Cellphones and romantic relationships are paired together in more ways than one. While cellphones can give rise to a new relationship through apps and online dating, cellphones can be responsible for the demise of a relationship too. Simply because it’s far easier to get into affair through cellphones.
What starts as innocuous messaging on WhatsApp can become a full blown affair and you might not even realise what just happened.
How cellphones affect relationships? Cellphones can ruin relationships by tearing two people apart. Millennials who opt for therapy say that social media insecurity and WhatsApp wars are two of the main reasons that couples are constantly fighting and are being suspicious of each other.
In the US 92% divorces use the cellphone as evidence of infidelity in court. This divorce statistics is evidence of how cellphones affect marriages. In fact a study shows that cellphone addiction has adverse effects not only on your relationship but also it has impact on the food you will eat and the dress you will wear.
When there is some problem in the marriage people find an escape route in social media, or even get on to dating apps instead of having a conversation and solving the issue.
One’s obsession with the cellphone becomes reason for a partner to be distrustful of their phone interactions and they might even end up going through their partner’s cellphone because of the insecurity they feel.
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Do cellphones effect a marriage?
When Mehek and Saugat got married after 15 years of courtship, we were all thrilled. After years of battling the caste barrier, the couple had finally united.
Then I bumped into Saugat at a restaurant recently. I was with a couple of friends. He was with a friend, maybe a female colleague. Who cares? One can have friends outside of marriage. I didn’t see anything wrong with him having dinner with a woman other than his wife.
I was pleased to see him. He didn’t seem all that pleased. He flinched at my hearty greeting. Then he reached for his handkerchief to wipe the tiny beads of sweat on his forehead; it was winter and we were in an AC restaurant. After a short exchange of pleasantries, we settled at our respective tables.
The scary SM reveal
As we waited for our orders, I pulled out my phone to scan my Facebook page…I was greeted by pictures of newborns, selfies with besties quotes from a book read long ago.
And then I came upon a post by Mahek… “Hubby darling is off on a business trip…one night passed somehow without you, four more to kill…come back soon…miss you so much, my love…Hope Mumbai’s treating you well…”
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I was aghast at the post. Now I could make out the reason for Saugat’s discomfort. This wasn’t just a dinner with a colleague, this was a full-blown extra marital affair he was having behind his wife’s back. And I was now privy to it.
I looked at my cell phone. If there hadn’t been social media I wouldn’t have known. Social media updates can put you in unprecedented situations. No wonder cell phones and relationship problems go hand-in-hand.
Spouses and cellphones
Spouses and cellphones can complicate things big time. If it hadn’t been for Mahek’s update I wouldn’t have known what was cooking.
But here I was – in Bangalore, sitting a few tables across from her husband, who in turn was with an unknown woman…stealthily stealing glances at me, his handkerchief soaking with guilty perspiration.
Finally, he worked up the nerve to walk up to me. Unable to look me in the eye, he seemed to be debating his choice of words.
“It’s okay, Saugat,” I said. “I have known you guys since primary school. Have seen your love blossom, your struggle, your marriage, and now I am seeing you here.
But for this one time, I will un-see you from my memory. This meeting never happened.” I put him at ease.
What goes on behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors. I have no idea whose fault it is. I don’t want to know who ignited the fire and who is fanning it. I don’t want to judge.
Maybe Mahek hasn’t been compassionate enough. Or perhaps Saugat is shamelessly cheating on her. In either case, the real loser here is Love.
The love I have been laughing at. Today, I will laugh at it just a little bit louder. Not that I never believed in it. But the kind of love I believed in is lost on today’s rushed times.
Cellphones and relationship problems have taken over that love. There is no ever after anymore, the love can be broken at any point. This twisted representation of love is something I can live without. If this is all I get in the name of love, I think I will pass.
Cellphones are all over romantic relationships. You are looking for love on SM, on apps and on WhatsApp, while the love of your life might be sitting right there in front of you. A situation can’t be more pathetic. Right?
Love in the time of cellphones is really a misnomer. Wouldn’t you agree?