Starting a relationship is not as easy as it appears in the movies. In real life, there are doubts, setbacks, personality conflicts, and just about any other situation that you can think of. As such, it is extremely important to understand the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
If you have doubts about a man’s intentions and affections, this article will help you answer the following things:
· What are the signs he does not take me seriously?
· Can he like me but not want to date me?
· What can I do if he doesn’t like me?
Can A Man Like You But Not Want A Relationship?
Well, the short answer is yes. But the truth is a little more complicated. It is true that a man can like you but not want to date you due to the circumstances of his life. That being said, there are many men out there who use their circumstances as an excuse to not date someone, so that is something to look out for.
When someone likes you but doesn’t want a relationship with you, things can get confusing. He will be warm and affectionate one day, but cold on another. There are many reasons that such a man wouldn’t date you:
· Lack of self-esteem, he feels unworthy of you
· Trauma regarding past relationships not ending well, being afraid to make the same mistakes
· People around him always had failed relationships, so that is what he expects too
· He believes he is not responsible or financially stable enough for a relationship
· He’s learned something about your past which makes him uncomfortable
· He believes in a bachelor lifestyle with no serious commitments. Studies indicate that men were more likely than women to indicate that they were single in order to be free to flirt around
• He wants to stay single and focus on his health, career, family, etc. for a while
These are some of the most common reasons that a man has for not dating you, even if he likes you. So while it is possible for someone to like you and not want a relationship, you still need to know how to spot the signs of this mindset.
18 Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
Whether you are in a long-distance relationship or living together, it is important to know if the two of you have a future together. That hope and expectation is what keeps a relationship going after all. Regardless of the status of your relationship, here are some signs that you should watch out for in a man to see if he wants a long-lasting relationship with you.
1. He doesn’t call you back
A sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you notice that he either does not answer your call, takes a long time to call you back, or doesn’t call you back at all. He may claim that he is busy. While that may be true sometimes, if you frequently find him not sparing a little time to call you, it is an obvious sign he doesn’t like you.
2. He puts in minimal effort into the relationship
One way to judge whether he wants a serious relationship with you or not is to see the amount of effort he puts into maintaining the relationship and keeping you happy. A man who is not serious about you would never put in more than a satisfactory effort. If he truly wants to be with you, he would occasionally go above and beyond what is needed to keep you happy.
3. He keeps picking fights with you
During a fight, you’ll see many signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore. You’ll spot them if you pay attention to how often and what you fight about. Studies like this show that people tend to pick fights with their partner when they no longer want to be in a relationship.
Frictions are normal in a healthy relationship, but if you find yourself in a conflict almost all the time, or if you are fighting over absolutely irrelevant reasons, you should realize that he is trying to look for a way to exit the relationship.
4. Your mistakes are unforgivable
One of the burning signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he is unable to let go of any mistake you make, no matter how small or inconsequential. Everyone makes mistakes, and a loving partner would understand that and try to forgive you. However, if your partner holds every single thing you do wrong against you, they don’t care about you.
Related Reading: 10 Important Components Of Trust In A Relationship
5. He doesn’t want a relationship with you if he always prioritizes other things
A common sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you are placed very low on his list of priorities. This is not to say that you should always be his top priority regardless of the circumstances. But if your boyfriend seems to never prioritize you, or always has something more important to do, you should know that he is not serious about you.
6. He does not act like a partner
If you want to date someone, the most basic expectation that you would have is that they act like your partner. If the guy is not serious about you though, there will be signs of an unequal relationship. If he displays these traits, you should know that he does not care for you:
· Does not call you his partner
· Avoids being romantic or intimate
· Does not consult with you on decisions that affect you both
7. He doesn’t want to be your partner if all he displays is fake intimacy
One of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you realize that he is only loving and doting when you are surrounded by other people. However, once the two of you are on your own, there is a clear disinterest in the relationship from his side. Research shows that people tend to fake intimacy when they don’t want a relationship, but don’t want to be alone either.
If your boyfriend is only loving in public, you can be sure that he wants to use you as a way to boost his social standing amongst his peers, and he does not consider this a committed relationship.
8. He tries to make you angry
Another burning sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he is constantly trying to make you angry by disrespecting you or saying hurtful things in the relationship. This is a really toxic method that some people employ so that you break up with them and they can avoid feeling guilty. If you find that your boyfriend constantly tries to make you angry, you can be sure that he does not like you and is looking for a way out.
9. It’s only about sex
Another obvious sign he doesn’t like you much is when there isn’t much substance to your relationship outside of sex. Sex is an important part in many committed dynamics, however, it is not the only thing that’s present in a relationship. If you find that your partnership revolves around sex and lacks intimacy or romance, you need to recognize that your boyfriend does not actually like you and that it is a sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
10. He doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you if he does not get jealous
Another sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when he doesn’t get jealous about you. Now being secure about your partner and trusting them is a healthy thing to do. However, there are still lines in a relationship that you don’t cross. If the guy you are casually dating does not seem to get jealous when those lines are crossed, or pretends that those lines don’t exist, you can be sure that he doesn’t want a relationship with you anymore.
11. He does not keep his promises
Another sign that he does not want a serious relationship with you, that many people miss out on, is that he never manages to keep his promises. These include both minor and major promises such as:
· He fails to show up on time
· He makes plans then bails out at the last moment
· His behavior in general does not match his word
If your boyfriend shows any of these traits, you can be sure that there is a disinterest in the relationship and he is trying to use you.
Related Reading: 15 Subtle Signs A Breakup Is Near And Your Partner Wants To Move On
12. He takes you for granted
A major red flag to watch out for in a guy is to see if he appreciates you for the little things you do or if he feels entitled to the services you perform and refuses to acknowledge them. This should be easy to spot as it is very obvious when a man is just using you and it is one of the signs he is taking you for granted.
13. He does not engage in quality conversations
In any relationship, especially long-distance relationships, communication is the key to a healthy partnership. So if your partner refuses to communicate with you, be it on call or text, he is not interested in having a real relationship with you. This could manifest in the following ways:
- His responses are short and lack any details
- His texts don’t display any curiosity about you
- He shuts down conversations and refuses to set a time to discuss it again
- He is ignoring you and does not respond to your texts on time
14. Everything is a lie
Another heartbreaking sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is when you realize that he always lies to you. It’s not even a major lie like infidelity, but he lies about the little things such as:
· Lies about who he met and what he did
· Lies about being busy or not having time
· Lies of omission, where he leaves out the details he thinks might upset you
Related Reading: 15 Warning Signs Your Partner Is Losing Interest In The Relationship
15. He violates your boundaries
A sure-fire sign that he doesn’t want to date you is when he is constantly violating, or trying to push, your boundaries. This is when he deliberately uses the information he has about you to try and make you as uncomfortable as possible. This is a highly toxic and manipulative behavior that you should always be watchful for. If he violates your boundaries, he does not respect you and doesn’t want a relationship with you.
16. He doesn’t plan a future with you
The clearest sign that he doesn’t see himself being in a relationship with you is when he refuses to talk about, or plan, your future together. If a man really wants to be with you, he would be open to discussing moving somewhere together, or how to move ahead in your respective careers while still being with each other.
If you find that a man doesn’t talk about these things, and his answers regarding the future are “I don’t know” or “Let’s see”, he is not looking for a relationship with you. Furthermore, it is also one of the signs that he is not into you.
17. He doesn’t want to be your partner if he openly flirts with others
This sign is so common that it can be considered a cliché. The best way to know if a man wants a monogamous relationship with you is to see if he flirts with others. When a man is into you, he will focus all his attention on you and only you. But if he still flirts with others, or accepts their advances toward him, he is most definitely not interested in having a committed relationship with you.
18. He ghosts you
This really should be the final and most definitive sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. Ghosting in relationships is an act of completely cutting off all contact from a person. For all intents and purposes, they are dead to you. If a man ghosts you, the message is pretty clear. He does not like you, he does not want a relationship, and he does not want to see you again. A painful truth to hear, but one that is necessary for you to move on.
Now there is no need to panic if your partner displays any of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. While the feeling stings, it’s important to know that it is not the end of the world. There are steps you can take to ensure that your life does get better and that you eventually find someone who deserves you.
Related Reading: Is Caspering Less Brutal Than Ghosting?
5 Things You Can Do If He Doesn’t Want To Date You
It can be devastating to find out that someone doesn’t want to date you. However, being sad about it is not going to help you in any way. In order to heal in a healthy way, here are 5 things you can do if you realize he doesn’t want to date you.
1. Cut him off
If you see no hope for a future, the best thing you can do is cut him off if he doesn’t want a relationship with you. There is no point in trying to fight a losing battle. Cutting him off will make him miss you. It may feel hard at first, but it will help you in the following ways:
• It will give you time to reflect and heal, you’ll find out that you don’t need him in the first place
• It distances you from the source of your pain, making it easier to deal with
• You don’t carry around the hope of somehow still being with him, allowing you to pursue other interests and improve your life
2. Explore new possibilities
No matter how much you like the guy, you should realize that he is not unique. There are plenty of men just like him, and possibly better. So you should not give up hope – keep exploring your options, there is someone for you out there.
3. Spend time with friends and family
Nothing heals a broken heart better than love from a trusted individual. After being rejected, it’s a good idea to spend time with your friends and family to reorient yourself and focus on the people who are important in your life.
4. Focus on yourself
As weird and counterproductive as it sounds, heartbreak is a really good motivator. While being rejected can sting, it’s best to channel those energies toward improving aspects of your life that you are unhappy with. Here are some things you can do to focus on yourself:
• Learn a skill, like an instrument or something related to your professional field
• Dive deeper into your hobbies
• Learn how to love yourself again by practicing self-care
• Change your look or get a makeover
The point here is to try and feel good about yourself again.
5. Take some space
If you really liked the guy and are unable to cut him off when he doesn’t want a relationship with you, the next best thing is to take some space from him and go low contact for a while. This will let you see that there is more to life than just him and gives you some time to work through your emotions. Taking a relationship break and giving each other some space will help both of you reassess the importance of this relationship.
- When a man wants a relationship with you, he will make it clear and won’t leave room for any doubt
- If he does not make any efforts to keep you happy or make you feel seen, he does not care about you
- If he is emotionally manipulative or dismissive and makes your life uncomfortable, he does not see a future with you
- If he does not want to date you, you should leave as quickly as possible for your own mental well-being
By now, you are well-armed with all the knowledge and little tips needed for you to understand how serious he is about you. If you had any doubt about your standing with a man before, this should clear that up.
However, you should also understand that even if a man is serious about you, he might still display some of these traits. It is important to understand that people aren’t perfect, and everyone is still a work in progress. Give him some time to show you that he can improve if you want a successful relationship.