Let’s tell you this, if you are looking for signs if your wife cheated in the past, then you are poking a sleeping dragon that would unleash destruction the moment it wakes up.
If your wife had an affair and you didn’t know about it it’s best to treat ignorance as bliss. Just tell yourself that if you didn’t find out then, you don’t need to find out now.
Related Reading: 11 Smart Ways To Catch A Cheating Wife
However, if the aftermath of the supposed affair still exists or if you feel your wife is still cheating on you then maybe you should focus on the question: How to know if your wife cheated in the past?
Any kind of affair leaves behind a trail, clues and some lies. If you look back you might be able to get your answers.
Can I Tell If My Wife Cheated In the Past?
Insecure, possessive, overcautious husbands often ask this question. However, when two people are together, and the emotional and intellectual bond is strong, your gut feeling tells you your wife is not into you.
A husband might not be able to pin point exactly what’s irking the marriage but they would know if something is amiss.
When a husband feels that the wife cheated in the past the usual advice given to him is not to rake up the issue if the affair is over.
If your wife has buried the affair, has moved on and is giving 100% to your relationship now, then there is no point to keep thinking about what really transpired.
It’s hard to look for signs that she cheated in the past because it could also be that her affair was not a full-blown one. It could have been a quick fling or a one-night stand or an office romance that fizzled out.
But if you want to know if your wife was unfaithful or not then you can look for these subtle signs if your wife cheated on you in the past.
There could have been a phase when she recoiled from physical contact. She became lost in her own world and spent long hours in the workplace. That could have been the time when she was grappling with cheating guilt.
9 Not So Obvious Signs That Your Wife Had Cheated In The Past
The obvious signs of cheating are easy to look for. But here we are talking about the not so obvious signs that tell you that your wife cheated in the past.
Here’s how you can look for the signs that your wife had an affair.
1. Social media behavior changed
Was there a time period in recent years when her social media behavior changed drastically? Look back and take notice.
Your wife could have been the kind of person who was always clicking couple selfies and putting it up on social media. Then suddenly she had stopped putting your photos out there. Did she actually deactivate her old profile and make a new one with new photos where you never figured?
This is a not so obvious clue that your wife cheated in the past. She was not comfortable showing off those love dovey photos to the world when she was mentally and physically involved with someone else.
Is she back to putting your photos on her wall? The affair is long over then. This is a sign of cheating that you may have completely ignored treating it as a moody phase.
Related Reading: 15 Shocking Things Cheaters Say When Confronted
2. Wife was always stressed and distracted
There could have been a phase where she was perpetually stressed and distracted. When you asked her she told you that it was work pressure.
Did she get bogged down under work pressure before? If she has been the kind who hasn’t been that effected by work pressure but suddenly became stressed and distracted over a certain period, then it could have been because of an affair.
The affair partner could have been in the workplace or elsewhere, but she was definitely dealing with the guilt of the affair.
3. She is more interested in friendship with you
Has your relationship changed? You probably didn’t notice that she isn’t generous with the cuddles and kisses anymore.
She talks to you, has interesting conversations and keeps telling how you are her best friend. She avoids physical intimacy, prefers to hang out in a gang. She might have cheated in the past and maybe her relationship is over now but she hasn’t gone back to being her old self with you either.
All your birthdays are spent with family or friends. When was the last time she took you out on your birthday for a candlelight dinner?
4. You saw her welling up without any reason
There is no denying the fact that women are more emotional than men and they well up thinking of certain memories. Thinking of dear ones, who have passed away or even the memory of a past lover make them cry.
But was there a time when you saw your wife holding her cup of coffee and looking out of the window with tears in her eyes?
When you asked her she looked away and gave you some flimsy excuse. Chances are she was thinking of her affair partner and feeling guilty or upset.
Your wife was cheating in the past if she was emotionally unstable for a certain period of time. You had tried to find the reason but she never told you. Then she became fine on her own.
5. She kept a tab on your timings
You always told her when you would be back home or if you would be late at work. Did she ever show too much curiosity about your work timings?
You even thought she was thinking you were having an affair. But when you look back you realize she was doing it to keep a tab on your movements so that she could sync her own with yours.
She was always fresh out of the shower when you arrived home. Or she reached home just minutes before you did.
These are not so obvious signs that your wife cheated in the past. Does she still do it? Make those incessant calls? No? She just calls you at lunch time. That explains something. Doesn’t it?
Related Reading: How Can I Fall In Love With Someone Else When I Am Happily Married?
6. Her dressing had changed
Your wife loved her LBDs and high heels but there was a time period when she put it all away in the closet. She only wore the pant suits and went for power dressing.
Your dashing, fashionista wife suddenly became very conservative when it came to her style. She justified her change of style to suit her age. She said she felt dignified dressing like that.
While this change never bothered you, when you look at her now you realize that she is back to her shirts and jeans and LBDs.
Was it just a fad or the need to impress a man with a conservative dressing sense? A boss perhaps, who doted on her, but has moved to another city now.
7. She’s on a dating app
If you ask her, chances are she would not tell you. If you find ways to check if she is on Tinder then this is a tell-tale sign that your wife cheated in the past. She could do so in the future too. Her presence on Tinder is not without a reason.
She isn’t game for serious affairs but hookups work for her. And if you confronted her she could have told you it’s a joke her friends pulled on her. She could delete her profile in front of you.
She’s cheated on you in the past, it’s like she’s been there done that. If she is not on Tinder anymore it doesn’t matter.
8. Experimental in bed
Was there a time in your relationship when she was super enthusiastic in bed and experimented all the time? Then suddenly she became withdrawn and sex became a chore.
Chances are your wife was cheating on you with someone else and was replicating their bedroom moves in your own bedroom.
But when the affair fizzled out her need to experiment also ended because it was the other man who got her excited and whom she fantasized about it when she was with you.
That adventurous woman soon became a staid wife, who gave you a boring sex life. Your wife cheated in the past, that’s for sure.
Related Reading: Has Your Husband Checked Out Emotionally? 12 Signs Of a Failing Marriage
9. You catch the lies
She could be talking about a day trip with her friends a year back. She had told you it was a girl gang of four but now she tells you they were six. She had told you they had stopped at a cafeteria for tea but when you ask her now where they had tea on the way, she talks about a restaurant.
It’s possible to repeat the truth again and again. But when it’s a lie it becomes distorted every time you ask them to repeat it.
This is an absolute tell-tale sign that your wife cheated in the past and covered her tracks well enough. But the lies keep surfacing now and you silently bear with it.
To find out if your wife cheated in the past you have to look for the subtle signs which we discussed in the article.
Another subtle hint: If she was in an emotional affair there was a time she used her phone as an extension of her body. Now you find it lying around on the couch, on the dining table, just about anywhere. Do we need to say more?
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