If you are new to the dating pool, it can be a little confusing to navigate the dating stages and the frequency with which you are supposed to see your partner. You don’t know how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend and you don’t know where to draw the line. Fret not! We are here to guide you through all the spectrums of dating.
To find out more about the transitions that take place in the dating stages and if there are any limitations in meeting your partner, we reached out to Pragati Surekha (MA in Clinical Psychology). She is also a leadership coach and specializes in dating and loveless marriages.
She says, “Dating someone and how often you ought to or want to meet them can’t be put together in one box. Each couple has a different experience. They grow at different rates. No one size fits all here. However, there are a few dating rules on how often they can meet each other and other dating etiquettes one must follow when they are seeing someone.”
How Often Should You See Your Boyfriend — As Revealed By Experts
Relationships are no easy feat. You have to constantly keep it smooth by learning how to trust, love, and respect each other. Below are some expert-advice notes on how often should you see your boyfriend or girlfriend. As previously mentioned, these are not tailored for every relationship and situation.
The early stage of the relationship
In the early stages of a relationship, we tend to become so involved that we want to do nothing else but talk to this person. We want to know every little detail about them, their childhood, and their future plans. We want to be around them all the time.
But is this advisable? To which, Pragati answers, “The first stage of dating is basically euphoric love bombing but in a less toxic and negative way. You are on your best behavior. It’s almost as if you have a mask on because you don’t want this person to see the real you.
You want them to like you. You try everything you can to impress them. You instantly reply to their text messages. You are extra concerned and mindful about how you look, how you dress, and how you speak. How often should you see your boyfriend in the beginning of the relationship? I would advise less is more.”
This intense attraction is caused by oxytocin which is famously known as “the love hormone”. You aren’t just aesthetically attracted to them. There are also signs of sexual tension you cannot ignore. This deep sexual attraction makes you want to see them almost every single day. This is where you have to tread carefully because they aren’t revealing their authentic self. You might be doing the same thing.
Both of you have put on masks to hide your insecurities and weaknesses. It’s because you want them to like you. This is where mistakes happen. This is where both of you are placing expectations inside Pandora’s Box. What happens when those expectations aren’t met when the two of you make it to the next stage? It starts creating problems. That’s why it’s advised to see each other less during the initial stages of the relationship.
Related Reading: Do Guys Catch Feelings After Hooking Up?
How often should you see your boyfriend/girlfriend if you have been dating for three months?
Pragati shares, “If you have been seeing each other for almost 3 months, then there are chances you have shared your first kiss and you’ve been intimate with each other. You are trying to look for signs of relationship compatibility and see if you are compatible with them in all aspects including emotional, intellectual, financial, and sexual compatibility.
“A few people still keep this very hush-hush because they are either not sure about them or they don’t want to rush things. That’s why it’s important you don’t get too attached in this particular stage because if it’s the former and you have already started to fall in love, then it may result in heartbreak. If they don’t share your feelings, you may end up getting hurt.”
This is the phase where you make memories. You go on dates and you start getting comfortable with each other. You are seeing if your interests align and if your wavelengths match. You want to know if they are an emotionally mature person and if they will be a good partner if this takes a serious turn. Emotional maturity is one of the qualities of a good man which every woman looks for.
There’s a downside to this phase because there are chances you could be the only one who is falling in love. This is where the question of how often should you see your boyfriend/girlfriend becomes crucial. You can meet them once or twice a week just to get to know each other a little better.
If you have been dating for 6 months
Pragati says, “If this stage is not balanced, then it could create a lot of problems. This is where you need to understand and connect on a deeper level. This is where you see how curious they are about getting to know all sides of you. “Vulnerability is steadily stimulating between the two of you and you don’t know how to take it yet. How long should you see your boyfriend in the beginning? The answer depends on how interested you are in pursuing a relationship with them.”
If you have been dating this person for six weeks now, chances are you have made up your mind about them already. You either like them or you don’t because six months is a fairly long time to get to know a person, at least on the surface level. If even the surface level isn’t attractive to you or you aren’t interested, then you can’t easily back out as there isn’t any kind of commitment yet.
This is the most important stage in deciding whether or not you want to keep seeing this person. Before you ask how often should you see your boyfriend/girlfriend, you need to ask yourself if you want to pursue a relationship with them.
Related Reading: 11 Early Signs He’s A Player And Isn’t Serious About You
When you have been dating for 12 months
When asked Pragati how long should you see your boyfriend if you have been dating for nearly a year, she says, “This is the stage of declaration. You either declare you love them or you don’t. Others know you are together but you haven’t labeled each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.
“You can see them once or twice a week to settle into the idea that this relationship may go on forever or it may face an inevitable end if either of you isn’t ready to commit.”
This stage is known as exclusive dating. It’s the point where it’s ready to turn into a relationship. You can confess your feelings for them if you love them. If you don’t, you can be honest and tell them you want to commit to them. If either of you doesn’t share this feeling, it’s high time you let go of the relationship.
If you have been dating for over a year
If you have been dating for over a year, there are chances you are in love and in a committed relationship. When asked on Reddit how long should you see your boyfriend, a user shared, “This is all very very personal on what the people in the said relationship are comfortable with.
“That being said, I could not date someone I only saw once a week. In fact, the guy I dated before my now boyfriend, kept us at every 7-10 days and it drove me insane. It’s not enough to form any kind of real bond with someone, and I felt like we never covered any ground. Of course, looking back, that is exactly what he wanted and I was just too dumb to see it at the time.
“In the very very early stages, once a week is okay, but as things progress I expect to see someone more and more. I have been with my guy for about 4 months now, and we see each other 2- 5 days a week depending on when I have my child for the week. That may be a lot for some people, but we almost always end up spending my free weekends together which is how it tallies up to 5 sometimes.”
How long should you see your boyfriend depends on what you are expecting and wanting from that person. It depends on your goals for the relationship and how busy or free you are in a week. Just because you started seeing someone, doesn’t mean you will let go of all your old hobbies and interests. This is one of the mistakes many people make. They stop hanging out with their friends because they dedicate all their time and energy to the person they are falling in love with. It’s all about creating a healthy balance with your SO.
How often should you see your boyfriend in a long-distance relationship?
Long-distance relationships are quite difficult to navigate. We asked Pragati if there are any rules on how often should you see your boyfriend in a long-distance relationship, she says, “It all comes down to how well you can manage everything. There are many long-distance relationship problems that you need to be aware of. How good are you at expressing your love despite being apart from each other? If you can manage the distance without affecting the quality of love, then nothing can separate you from each other.
“I have known a couple who were physically apart because one of them moved to a different city to study. They were in a long-distance relationship for two years and they came out stronger than ever. Absence and distance made their hearts grow fonder.”
On the contrary, there are couples who terminate their relationship after just two or three months of being in long-distance relationships. What matters in a long-distance relationship isn’t how often should you see your boyfriend/girlfriend. What matters is how loyal you can be.
- If you have just started dating, then avoid meeting them too often
- When you have been dating for 3 months, you are starting to make memories by meeting them once or twice a week
- Exclusive dating is where you are ready to commit and you’re seeing them every alternate day
There are many benefits to understanding how often should you see your boyfriend in the beginning and in the later stages of dating. It will help you know if the relationship is being rushed and whether you want to slow things down. You will be able to understand who they are at a steady pace rather than jumping at every chance to meet them. This will eventually save your relationship from crashing and burning.
If you go to the same university or work at the same office, then you have no other option but to see them every day. But if the relationship is new, it can be unhealthy and you need to avoid spending so much time in order to save your relationship from burnout. If the two of you have been dating for over a year, then seeing each other every day is not such a big deal.
It’s perfectly normal not to see your boyfriend every day. There’s no rule that you have to meet them every single day. We are all busy people living in a busy world. We have to focus on our work, give time to our family, and take a day off just for ourselves to relax and rejuvenate.