What is the mindset of straight men who like older women? Conventional wisdom states that men tend to prefer women younger than them, so it can be surprising to see young men chase after older women. Conventional wisdom is wrong, however, and these relationships are very common.
According to research, this number could be as high as 60%. In fact, every teenage boy can tell you about the female professor they had a crush on. To show you how common it is, below is a list of celebrity couples where the man is dating a woman who is older than him:
- Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas: 10-year age gap
- Lisa Bonet and Jason Momoa: 11-year age gap
- Shakira and Gerard Piqué: 10-year age gap
- Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles: 10-year age gap
- Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson: 13-year age gap
Now that we know that such men do exist, I am sure that you are curious to understand more about how these men think, feel, and act. By the end of the article, you will learn the following things:
- Why do men find older women appealing?
- Is sex with older women better?
- What kind of man is attracted to an older woman?
- Can relationships succeed when the woman is older than the man?
Psychology Reveals 7 Traits Of Men Who Like Older Women
So why would a man like an older woman? “Older women know who they are and that makes them more beautiful than the younger ones. I like to see a face with some character. I want to see lines. I want to see wrinkles,” says the actor, Naveen Andrews.
Due to the way some men talk about women, you would not be wrong to assume that most men prefer dating women who are younger than them. Yet quite a few men seem to find older women appealing. As such, you may wonder what traits such men possess which cause them to ignore outdated conventions and follow their hearts. Here are the 7 common characteristics typically found amongst such men. By the end of this list, we can guarantee that you will see why older women dating younger men makes a lot more sense than you previously thought.
1. Younger men who date older women have high libidos
If you have ever wondered why men are sexually attracted to older women, one of the reasons is that these men tend to have a high sex drive. These men also have a wider range of sexual fantasies and kinks that they would like to try. So they prefer to have sex with older women as they tend to be more experienced, open, and versatile in matters of the bedroom.
Younger men who have less experience actively seek out older women for this very reason. They believe that a woman with more experience would be more likely to indulge their fantasies and even teach them a useful trick or two. Studies have shown that older women tend to be better at sex than their younger counterparts.
Related Reading: 16 Ways To Show Affection To Your Partner
2. Such men are inclined toward maturity and competence
Another common trait amongst men who like older women is that they seem to prefer emotionally mature women. Studies like this show how and why men and women are attracted to maturity, and it is no surprise that maturity comes with age. Men seek partners who have experienced life more than them, and their competence on the personal and professional front attracts them too.
As such, they believe that dating an older woman would increase their chances of finding such a partner. There are many reasons that a younger man might be attracted to an emotionally mature older woman:
- A mature woman knows what she wants to do with her life and isn’t as anxious
- There is less relationship drama born out of jealousy
- They are more dependable and competent in their day-to-day lives
- A mature woman can teach him a few things about the world
3. Some younger men are interested in a stable life
Why would a man like an older woman? Well, studies indicate that one reason would be that these men are more interested in a stable, homely, and family-centric relationship. These men are not really interested in casual dating or living life one day at a time. They are looking for a serious relationship, one in which they and their partner can focus on growing their lives together.
Men who adore older women are looking to set down roots and build a home. Such men tend to focus more on creating and maintaining a happy family. They believe that an older woman has a higher chance of feeling the same way they do.
4. Men who like older women are supportive and secure about their masculinity
As surprising as it may sound, research indicates that men who find older women appealing are far more supportive of the women’s actions and goals and are not afraid to flip the traditional gender roles. These men are usually mature enough to be aware of the fact that they are dating individuals who have their own likes, interests, goals, and ambitions. They do not view their partner as someone who exists solely to fulfill their needs.
When it comes to dating older women, men understand that their partner has been working toward achieving her goals for a long time. They even understand that their partners may be more knowledgeable than them. These secure men have absolutely no issues in trusting their partner’s judgment and do their best to be supportive.
5. They have higher degrees of introversion
It can be said that men with higher degrees of introversion are more likely to date older women. You may be confused as to why an introverted man would be attracted to an older woman, and it is actually quite obvious once you understand how an introvert thinks. A study shares a few traits of an introvert and what they like:
- Introverts prefer personal and deep conversations topics
- They do not like large and boisterous affairs like clubs
- They prefer a quiet night in
- They have a low threshold for tolerating drama
If you have been paying attention to this article, the reasons that introverts like older women should be clear by now. All of these are traits that an older woman might possess.
6. Younger men who date older women are open-minded
It might be surprising to hear, but research indicates that men who are sexually attracted to older women are far more open-minded than general society. It is no secret that dating an older woman is seen as a taboo in most cultures. Older women dating younger men are insultingly referred to as ‘cougars’, and are often shamed for not dating men older than them. Men who are attracted to older women find this line of thinking archaic, misogynistic, and repulsive.
Men who like older women are called ‘cubs’, and quite frankly they do not care about these labels. These men tend to be open-minded enough to not care how society would view their affections and focus all their romantic energy toward their partner regardless of the stigma.
7. Such men are low on self-esteem and are seeking validation
Another reason that men like dating older women may be the simplest of them all. They feel a sense of accomplishment when they are able to attract an older woman. Studies have found that men tend to feel better about themselves when an older woman shows them all the female body language signs of attraction. Psychologist Milaine Alarie famously said, “They’re the ones chasing the cougar.”
Now this is not to say that every man who dates an older woman is looking for an ego boost. In fact, as we can see above, there are quite a few who date them without getting their ego and societal norms involved.
- Men who date older women tend to be more open-minded, secure, supportive of their partners’ ambitions, and may have a high sex drive
- Such men are attracted to maturity and stability, traits which are commonly found in older women
- Some men date older women to boost their confidence
By now, it should be very clear why some men would be attracted to older women. Hopefully, this article has helped you understand such men better by providing some insights into their personalities. You might even read this and think that such men possess the perfect characteristics for you to consider dating them.
However, every person is unique. So, not all young men who are attracted to older women would possess each and every single one of these traits. It is quite normal, and common, for younger men to like older women. Chances are, if you’re a woman who knows a few younger men, there is a possibility that one of them is attracted to you already.