The 12 Rules Of Having A Sex Chat For The First Time

Spice It Up | |
Updated On: December 4, 2023
how to have a sex chat

Gen-Zers and many millennials knows how to start sex chats. It is growing to be a common texting ritual among young couples these days. But it’s possible that if you’re from an older generation, you’ve experienced sex chats but may not be familiar with how it really goes these days. Apart from that too, there are a lot of feelings of embarrassment and inhibitions that may hinder one’s efforts at sexting.

Many couples find it difficult to have phone sex with each other out of fear of sounding foolish and silly. We know that most of you do not have the confidence to get all steamy and sensuous on the phone with your partner, it’s not easy, and we don’t blame you. So don’t feel down if you’re not some kind of expert on sex chats. However, if you really want to, you must give it a try, because it will surely up the quotient of fun and excitement in your sex life and your relationship.

Sex Chat: A Smart Way Of Pursuing Your Romantic Relationship

Before we get into how to start a sex chat, let us first talk about why people sex chat these days in the first place and how it really goes. Cybersex starts with flirtatious conversations between two people, which soon turn into dirty talk and texts, and ultimately leads up to the sharing of intimate details of what they would love to try with each other or even self-stimulation.

The best thing about sex chats is that you can enjoy yourself without any inhibitions. Those of you who are nervous to have face-to-face discussions and are socially shy can consider having phone sex with your partners in a less intimidating and convenient manner.

Start with a simple conversation and get to know each other first – these two things are essential to establishing a strong romantic/sexual relationship with someone through a first-time sex chat. Also, getting addicted to it is something that one must avoid at all costs. Remember to respect and pay ample attention to the partner and their sexual needs.

Related Reading: Becoming A Sexting Pro! Follow These Tips

The 12 Rules Of Having A Sex Chat For The First Time

Using the power of words through texts to completely enthrall your loved one is not everyone’s cup of tea and does not always come naturally. It takes skill, practice, and a great deal of understanding of the sport. If you want to become better at it, well then, you’ve come to the right place today. Therefore, we are going to help you master the art of cybersex by listing the 12 golden rules of having a sex chat for the very first time.

After going through this article, you won’t be left wondering how to have sex chat confidently. We are sure you will be able to add spice to your sex life in the most efficient way.

Having a sex chat
Having a sex chat takes skill

1. Try to make yourself comfortable

This is first and foremost in the manual of “How to have sex chat?” When you are trying cybersex for the very first time, you have to make efforts to be comfortable with the whole idea of it. You have to get rid of your nervousness and do whatever it takes to shake it off. You can try by taking a shower, sipping a glass of champagne or wine, dancing around for a little while, listening to some soothing music, or whatever else that calms you down. Once you are comfortable, you will be better equipped to make good conversation, building up to a great sex chat. You’ll even get the confidence to initiate the sex chat yourself.

We had a reader who shared with us that she would hold the Superman pose for 30 seconds before initiating phone sex in order to boost her confidence and make her feel more powerful and in charge. Sounds a little crazy at first but it works!

2. How to sex chat 101: Go to a safe and secure place

Imagine this scenario. You are feeling all hot and steamy and whispering sexy things to your loved one on the phone when your kid or your best friend walks in through the back door of your house, heads upstairs to your room, and catches you. This entire fiasco will not only hamper the sexy atmosphere that you were able to create before, but it will be highly embarrassing for you as well. So it is always better to look for a quiet, safe, secure, and private place where there is no possibility of anyone overhearing your conversation or interrupting you.

Related Reading: Housewife Is Addicted To Online Sex Chats And Loves Her New Identity

3. Do not jump right into it

Yup, take your sweet time to find the perfect moment to begin. Neither your loved one nor you can expect to get into the mood the moment you both start chatting with each other. So, both of you must give each other the time to get comfortable. Start with flirtatious talk and gradually move on to dirty talk when you have built the necessary atmosphere for it.

Starting a conversation with “What are you wearing?” instead of “How was your day?” might just make you seem more creepy and desperate instead of hot. Do not jump right into dirty talk, as it might just come across as desperation. You want to have fun, but let’s try to do it more respectfully.

4. Do not laugh

Oh my god, laughter is a big no-no when it comes to sex chats. This rule must be deeply embedded in your mind. No matter how foolish your partner’s or your sexual fantasy sounds, you have to ensure that you do not burst out laughing. We know that a partner gets an extreme dose of happiness when they try to make a girl laugh, but that does not apply to sex chats. If you laugh, then the entire effort of being intimate will fail and it might make your loved one feel insecure and self-conscious.

We had a reader tell us how her partner was sexually aroused by women putting on teddy-bear costumes and she was not able to contain her laughter. Instead of gently talking about how she didn’t find it comfortable enacting that fantasy, she ended up mocking her partner. Needless to say, their relationship ended soon after.

5. Technical issues must be avoided

It will be very disappointing if your phone’s battery dies while having phone sex or when you are trying to be romantic on phone with your partner. Therefore, ensure that your battery is full. Also, the call waiting option must be turned off. To avoid cramping your neck while talking to your partner, you can connect your phone to a Bluetooth speaker or a headphone.

In this way, your hands will remain free as well. If you are expecting an important call that you cannot miss, then you must postpone the sex chat.

On Sexting

6. Keep asking suggestive questions

Popping questions like “What do you want me to do to you?” will add great zest to your dirty talk. Maybe even consider something more raunchy such as “Do you miss my touch?”, “Where do you want me to place my hands?”, and so on during the sex chat. It will ensure that your partner remains in the mood for it. Questions will help release the awkwardness between the two of you, get your partner engaged even when they are shy, and you both will be able to enjoy yourself to the fullest.

Related Reading: Romantic Texting: The 11 Tips To Swear By (With Examples)

7. Update your vocabulary with the best words

The thing with sex chat is, that even if you use photos, it is actually words that do the trick in turning on another person. The way you say things and how you use words can make a huge difference in the whole experience.

Your attempt to have cybersex with your partner will fail if you do not know how to express your sexy feelings through the use of appropriate words. Thus, you must make it a point to update your vocabulary with the most sensuous and thought-provoking language. Keep in mind the word preferences of your partner so that you can engage with them on the same footing. Know about the latest abbreviations on sex to make them feel like you are up to date.

8. Be as imaginative as you can possibly be

During the sex chat, avoid talking about the usual moves that one is familiar with in bed. Think out of the box, as there is no pressure to execute these imaginative moves in reality. Remember, you are free on the phone to talk about any naughty and deepest, darkest desires that you have within you and you can get as graphic as you want. Being creative will help both of you concentrate and remain sexually aroused.

But do remember, do not get carried away and say things that the other person might not be comfortable with. On text, it’s very easy for a person to hide their feelings and your partner may not reveal what is making them uncomfortable. For this, make sure you have a conversation beforehand to discuss sexual boundaries.

9. Do not send pictures until asked for

Valuing consent in the relationship is the biggest rule on how to have sex chat respectfully. During sex chat, there is a time for everything, which many fail to understand. Easing into the dirty talk through casual conversation is essential. But what a majority of people end up doing is sending lots of private pictures to their partners and they do not have a proper conversation, which just portrays them as perverts. Therefore, you must avoid sending private or naked pictures until your partner specifically asks for them. Instead, send hot sexts!

10. Praise your partner as and when required

Actually, do it often. Do it pretty damn often. Whenever there is something that your partner does on the phone to make you feel aroused and sexually excited, you must make it a point to let them know that you like it. Compliment your partner as and when required, as it will help raise their level of confidence and make the whole phone sex experience memorable for the two of you.

When they feel like you are enjoying them as much as they are enjoying you, they will feel more confident about the whole experience and might even open up to you a little more.

11. Alter the tone of your voice

This is a very important rule because you cannot expect to have phone sex with your normal voice tone. So if you are sexting your office romance, don’t talk to them in the way that you do during meetings. You have to sound sensuous and seductive to bind your partner in your spell of words. A soft, soothing, and slow-paced voice will be able to help both of you get into the mood conveniently. Unless of course your office romance ‘likes’ what they hear on those zoom meetings. In that case, be as business-like as you want!

Related Reading: Things About The Female Orgasm You Didn’t Know

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12. How to have sex chat? Do not shy away from orgasms

If you feel like masturbating or are getting an orgasm, do not shy away from it. Do it with immense pleasure and pride. Share your feelings and imaginations with your loved one, even if they do not join you in masturbating. It is hot and sexy, and trust us when we tell you, your partner is going to love it.

We understand the awkwardness that surrounds masturbation or moaning as a woman in front of someone else, but it’s time to put all those thoughts away. You’re here to have a great time, and you should do it all the way to the end!

Once you religiously follow these 12 rules of how to have a sex chat, then talking dirty to your partner will come naturally to you and it will add new features to your sex life, making it more enjoyable than ever. Take your time to ease into it. You don’t need to show all your cards at once or even go all the way. As and when you’re ready for it, you’ll start to realize that there’s nothing to worry about!

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