Relationships 101

The 12 rules of having a sex chat for the first time

Having a sex chat can be an enthralling experience, if you play by the rules.
woman laughing while chating

Many couples find it difficult to have phone sex with each other for fear of sounding foolish and silly. We know that most of you do not have the confidence to get all steamy and sensuous on the phone with your partner. However, you must give it a try, because it will surely up the quotient of fun and excitement in your sex life.

Sex chat: A smart way of pursuing your romantic relationship

Cybersex basically starts with flirtatious conversations between two people, which soon turns to dirty talk and ultimately ends with sharing of intimate details of what they would love to try with each other or even self-stimulation. The best thing about sex chat is that you can enjoy yourself without any inhibitions. Those of you who are nervous to have face-to-face discussions and are socially shy can have phone sex with their partners in a very convenient manner.

Starting with simple conversation and getting to know each other first – these two things are very essential in order to establish a strong romantic relationship with someone through sex chat. In addition, getting addicted to it is something that one must avoid at all costs. Remember to respect and pay ample attention to the partner and his/her sexual needs.

The 12 rules of having a sex chat for the first time

Using the power of your texts/words to mesmerise your loved one is not everyone’s cup of tea. Therefore, we are going to help you master the art of cyber sex by listing 12 rules of having sex chat for the very first time. After going through these, we are sure you will be able to add spice to your sex life in the most suitable way.

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1. Try to make yourself comfortable

When you are trying cybersex for the very first time you have to make efforts to be comfortable with the whole idea of it. You have to get rid of your nervousness by taking a shower, sipping a glass of champagne or wine, dancing around for a little while, listening to some soothing music, etc. Once you are comfortable, you will be better equipped to not only have sex chat but also get the confidence to initiate it yourself.

2. Go to a safe and secure place

Imagine this scenario: you are all hot and steamy and whispering sexy things to your loved one on the phone, when your kid or a relative walks in and catches you. This entire scenario will not only hamper the sexy atmosphere that you were able to create before, but it will be highly embarrassing for you as well. So it is always better to look for a quiet, safe, secure and private place where there is less possibility of anyone overhearing your conversation.

3. Do not jump right into it

Neither your loved one nor you can expect to get into the mood the moment you both start chatting with each other. So, both of you must give each other the time to get comfortable. Start off with flirtatious talk and gradually move onto dirty talk when you have built the necessary atmosphere for it. Do not jump right into dirty talk, as it might just exhibit your desperation.

4. Do not laugh

This rule must be deeply embedded in your mind. No matter how foolish your partner’s or your sexual fantasy sounds, you have to ensure that you do not burst out laughing. If you laugh, then the entire effort of being intimate will fail and it might make your loved one feel insecure and self-conscious as well.

5. Technical issues must be avoided

It will be very disappointing if your phone’s battery gets low while having phone sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Therefore, ensure that your battery is full. In addition, call waiting option must be turned off. To avoid cramping your neck while talking to your partner, you can actually connect your phone to a Bluetooth speaker or a headphone. In this way, your hands will remain free as well. If there is some important call that you cannot miss, then you must postpone the sex chat.

6. Keep asking questions

Popping questions like what are you wearing, what do you want me to do to you, do you miss my touch and so on during the sex chat will ensure that your partner remains in the mood for it. Questions will help release the awkwardness between the two of you and you both will able to enjoy yourself to the fullest.

7. Update your vocabulary with the best of words

Your attempt to have cybersex with your partner will fail if you do not know how to express the sexy feelings through the use of appropriate words. Thus, you must make it a point to update your vocabulary with the best of sensuous and thought-provoking words. Keep in mind the word preferences of your partner so that you can engage with him/her on the same footing. Know about the latest abbreviations on sex.

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8. Get as imaginative as possible

During the sex chat, avoid talking about the usual moves that one has probably tried in bed. Think out of the box, as there is no pressure to execute these imaginative moves in reality. Remember, you are free on the phone to talk about any naughty and deepest, darkest desires that you have within you and you can get as graphic as you want. Being creative will help both of you concentrate and remain sexually aroused.

9. Do not send pictures until asked for

While having a sex chat, there is a time for everything, which many fail to understand. Easing into the dirty talk through casual conversation is essential. But what a majority end up doing is sending lots of private pictures to their partners and they do not have a proper conversation, which just portrays them as perverts. Therefore, you must avoid sending private or naked pictures until your partner specifically asks for such pictures. Instead, send hot sexts.

10. Praise your partner as and when required

Whenever there is something that your partner does on the phone to make you feel aroused and sexually excited, you must make it a point to let him/her know about how you like it. Compliment your partner as and when required, as it will help raise his/her level of confidence and make the whole phone sex experience memorable for the two of you.

11. Alter the tone of your voice

This is a very important rule, because you cannot expect to have phone sex with your normal voice tone. You have to sound sensuous and seductive in order to bind your partner in your spell of words. A soft, soothing and slow paced voice will be able to help both of you get into the mood in a convenient manner.


12. Do not shy away from orgasms

Even if you feel like masturbating or are getting an orgasm, do not shy away. Do it with immense pleasure and pride. Share your feelings and imaginations with your loved one, even if he/she does not join you in masturbating.

Once you religiously follow these 12 rules, talking dirty to your partner will come naturally to you and it will add new features to your sex life, making it more enjoyable.

Erotic things you might want to say to your partner

My husband sexts with others, doesn’t talk to me or the kids. What do I do?

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