Is that guy attracted to you? Or are you imagining it? This is one of the most common guessing games, and can even be a disaster for your love life if you guess it wrong. Which is why it is important to learn how to detect the more obvious and powerful signs of male attraction, as well as the subtle signs which he can’t help but throw around. Once you are able to detect his feelings with a certain degree of confidence, you will be much more at ease in responding to any confession of romantic interest that comes your way.
So how do you tell when a guy is into you? As a man, I’m pretty qualified to tell you all about the signs of male interest. In this article, I have shared some of my own experiences too. By the end of it, I hope that learning about a guy’s interest in you either encourages you to take the relationship forward, or to state your expectations clearly.
19 Obvious Signs Of Male Attraction
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Paying attention to a man’s words and deeds is essential if you are to decipher whether or not he is flirting with you. While every person has a different manner of expressing their feelings, their initial style of showing attraction is indicative of their flirting style.
According to Jeffery Hall, associate professor of communication at the University of Kansas, a man’s flirting style says a lot about what flirting means to him. Flirting is an outgrowth of your feelings toward another person – something you can’t easily hinder. His studies have detected numerous verbal as well as nonverbal behaviors that people use while flirting with someone.
He also goes on to say, “We’re really bad at detecting if people are flirting with us. We’re great at knowing when they’re not interested. But the reason we’re bad at seeing when they are interested is because people show it in such a variety of ways.”
So let us look at some of these powerful signs of male attraction that can help give you a better understanding of whether or not he is attracted to you:
Related Reading: 11 Signs Of Magnetic Attraction Between Two People
1. He starts disclosing his personal details
A man opening up about his personal feelings is a great indicator that he may be interested in you, and I say this from experience. Even my male friends are reticent about opening up about their personal lives. Having deep conversations with someone and talking about these things is an intimate gesture for them, a powerful sign of male attraction.
Vulnerability is not a weakness. According to Emma Allen and Madison Bird at the Brigham Young University, “Without vulnerability, we are less likely to develop the kind of meaningful and deep relationships we seek.” So when he starts talking about personal things, he is expressing genuine interest and is getting comfortable with you.
2. If he likes you a lot, he’ll get nervous around you
Getting unusually nervous around you is one of the more obvious signs that he is attracted to you. If he is normally the confident, outgoing sort, then his nervousness in your presence could be one of many involuntary signs of attraction. The reason we get so nervous is that we are secretly attracted to someone and want to be extra careful not to make any mistakes around them. This is something that used to happen all too often to me, much to my dismay.
Other signs of nervousness could include:
- Being clumsy
- Stuttering
- Getting tongue-tied
- Avoiding eye contact
Related Reading: 21 Signs That A Man Is Pursuing You
3. He gets very quiet around you
Some men, and I am one of those, tend to get very quiet around a woman they find attractive. My wife likes to joke that the only reason she knew I was attracted to her was because I would listen to her without uttering a word. She knew this was unusual because I was known to never shut up. Of course, I thought I was being discreet.
The same holds true at the workplace. Being very quiet around you might be the sign a shy male coworker likes you and is secretly attracted to you. You may have a difficult time getting him to open up, but that is half the battle won.
4. He wants to know more about you
One of the more obvious signs he finds you attractive is when he starts asking you questions about your personal life in a bid to get to know you better. As one of the subconscious signs of male attraction, he may not even realize that he is developing an attraction toward you. It happens only when he is genuinely interested in getting to know you better, trying to figure out whether or not you are a potential partner for him.
Some curious yet caring questions I asked my wife years ago, when she was not my wife yet:
- How difficult is it being a single mom?
- Do you get enough time for yourself?
- Does your ex help in any way?
5. He tries to be alone with you
Of all the signs he finds you attractive, this one is perhaps one of the most telling. But hold on, there are other sure signs of his feelings too and you can almost sense it when someone likes you:
- He likes spending time with you, preferably when you are alone
- He is always finding excuses to be with you: This is an obvious sign of male attraction that is common among my entire group of friends (including me)
- You will notice that he also makes an effort to be available despite his busy schedule
Related Reading: Could You Be In A Romantic Friendship With Someone? 7 Signs That Say So
6. He smiles at you a lot — One of many male body language signs that he is genuinely interested in you
Of all the nonverbal signs of male attraction, this one’s pretty helpful. You can gain a lot of clarity about his feelings when he’s smiling at you. Even studies have shown that romantic or physical attraction, including sexual interest, can be conveyed to others by nonverbal facial expressions, such as a smile.
While this could be one of the many signs of male attraction from him, it could also be purely innocent. So how do you tell?
- To be sure that he is interested in you, observe how he smiles at others and compare it with how he smiles at you. For example, my smile would be shy or extra bright whenever I’d see my crush (now wife) looking at me from across the room
- Keep an eye on other aspects of his male body language such as his posture and his hand gestures
- Read his smiles in conjunction with his other facial expressions, like the direction of his gaze and the type of smile. Is it a private smile meant only for you or does it verge on laughter?
7. He gets protective toward you
One of the most powerful signs of male attraction psychology is centered on his protectiveness around you. Any of the following behaviors indicate that he feels protective toward you and by inference, he is attracted to you:
- Does he always spring to your defense in an argument or a debate?
- Does he defend you even when you are not around?
- Does he get jealous of other guys sometimes?
- Does he insist on walking you home even if it is safe for you to walk alone?
- Does he try to keep other guys away from you at social gatherings when he can see they are drunk or crossing limits?
If the answer is mostly yes, then these are obvious signs that he’s smitten with you.
Related Reading: 15 Clear Signs He Likes You More Than You Think
8. If his body is always bent toward you, then it’s one of the subconscious signs of male attraction
Body language is key to understanding the signs a man is attracted to you sexually or otherwise. One clue is his posture when he is around you.
- Does he lean in closer while talking to you?
- Does he turn his body completely around to face you when he is talking to you?
- Does he close the distance between you two when you’re both walking, or does his body at least twist toward you?
I used to act like a human sunflower every time my sunny wife was around. So trust me, this is a good indicator of interest. There are many other male body language signs of attraction like these, and we shall look at some of them.
9. He keeps looking at you
Another body language aspect, maybe one of many involuntary signs of attraction, is when he constantly steals glances at you. This is usually done subconsciously, so if you happen to make eye contact, he quickly looks away. Or he may smile wryly, like a little kid caught in the act. This was true in my case. My wife likes to joke that I flirted with her by staring at her and then pretending that I wasn’t.
And if we talk about workplace affairs, this may be the only physical sign a shy male coworker likes you, something you have to pick up on. Were you to speak to him at such a point, he may very well appear at a loss for words. These are common signs of attraction between a man and woman at work since there’s fear of being perceived as unprofessional or crossing a personal line.
10. He seems to expand his body when you’re around
Studies have shown that an expansive body language is a sign of strong attraction from a man. By ‘expansive body language,’ we mean open postures involving widespread limbs, a stretched torso, and/or enlargement of the occupied space. The studies found that it worked both ways and increased romantic attractiveness.
Open physical signs where he keeps his arms and legs uncrossed and doesn’t slouch inward on himself can be classified as nonverbal signs of male attraction.
Related Reading: 27 Undeniable Signs He Secretly Loves You, But Is Too Shy To Admit It
11. Mirroring behavior is always a sure indicator of romantic interest
One of the surefire signs of strong attraction from a man is him mirroring your behavior. He smiles at you when you smile at him; he winks at you if you wink at him; he laughs when you laugh. I remember, I would even use my wife’s pet phrases in conversations, not just with her, but with others as well. This is a powerful sign of male attraction psychology and you can clearly tell that a guy is genuinely interested in you and not just being friendly.
12. He enjoys touching you — One of the most powerful signs of male attraction
Another sure sign of strong attraction from a man is that he touches you at every opportunity he gets. Not the creepy, pawing action that is a turn-off for so many, but the casual touch, light and brief. For example, he might mirror your actions after you place a hand on his.
He also initiates touch while talking to you. What I would do was lightly touch my wife’s arm with my fingers when I wanted to draw her attention to something I’m saying, or I’d press my hand lightly on her back. I still think that this physical touch with each other during the course of a conversation is one of the sweetest signs of attraction between a man and woman.
13. He walks by your side
Another sign of male attraction is walking side by side rather than ahead of or behind you. His body language is expressing to you that he values your company and likes being around you. It also signifies a degree of protectiveness toward you.
Let me tell you about my friend who displays this strong sign whenever he feels attracted to someone romantically. He shares, “I go out of my way to accompany her, either openly or nonchalantly by keeping the conversation going with her. Just so I can walk with this perfect human. I get to spend more time with her this way, and get to know her more too.”
Related Reading: 17 Sureshot Signs He Likes You But Is Playing It Cool
14. Watch out for prolonged eye contact: The eyes don’t lie
Of all the subconscious signs that signal male attraction, the signals from his eyes will be the most telling. Studies show that eye movements provide a rich amount of information about visual perception and can be used to evaluate visual attraction. So pay attention to these obvious signs that he is attracted to you:
- The frequency of his eye contact with you
- The length of his eye contact and other facial expressions
Keeping track of his eye movements will help you figure out what you need to know. Studies also suggest that dilated pupils are a subconscious sign of male sexual attraction which cannot be hidden, but this may be difficult for you to observe. Be warned: If you can see his pupils dilate, then you are probably too close (well, unless you want to be).
15. He is keen to meet your friends and family
A clear sign that he is romantically interested in you would be that he shows a genuine interest in your personal affairs. Wanting to meet your friends and family is one of the most undeniable signs of romantic interest.
He will make all efforts to familiarize himself with the backgrounds of your loved ones, wanting to create a favorable impression of himself. He will do this by paying attention to all the small details you mention about them.
Related Reading: 10 Things You Can Do When A Guy Acts Interested, Then Backs Off
16. He is a fan of yours
An obvious sign of male attraction is when he keeps praising you to others. He will always have something good to say about you, both to your face as well as in your absence. He will make it clear in no uncertain terms that he has your back and keep showering you with beautiful compliments – an undeniable sign that he feels attracted to you. Some of the things I’ve said about or to my crushes over the years:
- “I am quite sure she will accomplish her goals. She’s such a go-getter!”
- “Your political write-ups are the best I have ever read”
- “Even without formal training, I think you will make a great chef”
17. He dresses well when he is with you — This could be one of the signs a man is attracted to you sexually
A subtle sign that he is physically attracted to you is that he pays attention to how he looks when he knows you will be around. If you notice that he takes extra care of his appearance in your presence and invests in high-end men’s fashion accessories, then it could very well mean that he is romantically interested in you.
I would do this every time I was to meet my wife, even if it was a brief encounter. I would wear an outfit that I knew she liked before or a color that she loves. In retrospect, it was a powerful indicator of my genuine interest in her.
18. He asks for your opinion
One of the subtle signs of male attraction is when he seeks your opinion or advice on matters that are important to him. Asking for your thoughts before making an important decision is his way of telling you that you are important to him and that he deeply cares about you and respects you. At the very least, it says that he has a genuine interest in you. Here are some things I still ask my wife’s suggestions for, a habit I formed long ago:
- Help in writing or editing cover letters for job applications
- Suggestions for prioritizing house purchases so that we are within our budget
- The best way to deal with situations involving our teenage kids
Related Reading: 21 Elements Of Developing Respect In A Relationship
19. He expresses unhappiness with his current relationship
One of the most powerful signs of male attraction, even though it’s unfortunate. You may consider him to be ‘a close friend’ but if he regularly talks or complains about his current partner or other romantic interests, then he may be giving subtle signs that he is romantically interested in you. It’s possible that he hasn’t realized his own feelings for you and is simply displaying a subconscious sign of attraction that is worth paying attention to.
While these signs, taken individually, may not each signify that he is romantically interested or experiencing sexual attraction for you, a combination of them might add up to the truth. Paying attention to his body language signs, including his facial expressions, might give you a better understanding of his feelings for you. So, observe his behavior in different social settings, whether he makes time for you from his busy schedule, his comfort levels during deeper conversations, and other attraction signs listed above.
In the words of Hall, “When it comes to flirting, most people are pretty subtle. What’s more, everybody does it differently. Because flirting is low-key and varied, we’re often oblivious when people send us signals of romantic attraction. Perhaps that’s why Cupid’s arrow misses the mark all too often.”
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