13 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Unhappy In New Relationship And What Should You Do

Breakups and Scars | | , Writer
Updated On: May 4, 2024
signs your ex is unhappy in new relationship
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A breakup is hard enough to deal with. So, once it is all over, you don’t really want to know what is happening in your ex-partner’s life or how they are doing or what their new partner is like. Still, you can’t help but wonder if they think about you. You even look for signs your ex is unhappy in their new relationship.

Does your ex-partner miss you or have they moved on with someone else? If they have, are they genuinely happy with their new partner? Or do they feel miserable with this new person? Well, if your mind is more worried about the latter, we have listed ahead a few signs your ex is unhappy in their new relationship.

13 Clear Signs Your Ex Is Unhappy In New Relationship

Getting over someone you love isn’t easy, and a rebound relationship doesn’t always help. Your ex-partner may have started dating someone else after breaking up with you, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are happy with this new person in their life.

It is possible that your ex denies seeing someone else because they are still in love with you. Or they don’t post about their new partner or talk much about them because they’re dissatisfied in that relationship. Here are 13 signs that your ex is not happy with their new partner:

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1. They talk to you a lot

A study identified four reasons to stay friends with exes: security, practicality, civility, and unresolved romantic desires. One of the signs your ex isn’t over you or is unhappy with their new partner is that they talk to you a lot for any of the above reasons. Pay attention to the frequency of the conversations they have with you. Ideally, they wouldn’t be reaching out to you so often if they were happy with the new partner. If it’s just a fling or they are casually dating this person, then this constant contact with you may still mean they are not over you.

But if they’re frequently investing so much of their time and energy into talking to you while claiming to be in a ‘serious’ relationship, then it’s worse – because it’s a sign they aren’t happy with their new partner. Don’t get your hopes up too high though. Frequent conversations don’t mean that your ex is waiting for you or is going to leave their current partner and come back to you. That’s a different discussion altogether.

Related Reading: How To Get Over A Breakup? – 15 Effective Tips To Follow

2. They rely on you for emotional support

One of the most obvious signs your ex is unhappy in a new relationship is that they rely on you for emotional support. The first point was about the frequency of the conversations your ex has with you. This one is about the content of those conversations. Pay attention to the kind of things they share with you. It will give you an idea about whether they’re happy with their current partner or not.

It’s kind of an unsaid rule that there are certain things that you can and cannot share outside of your relationship. These are the signs your breakup is temporary and that your ex-partner probably misses you a lot:

  • They confide in you or share things that they should ideally only share with their current partner
  • They drunk dial you
  • They call you when they feel lonely and upset
  • You wake up to several missed calls and text messages from your ex-partner

3. They try to make you jealous with the new partner

People tend to do this a lot after a breakup. They get into a relationship with someone else just to make their ex-partner jealous. It’s one of the most common signs your ex isn’t over you. It’s a given that if you are truly happy with your new partner, you won’t have to rub your relationship in your ex-partner’s face. However, if your ex-partner is:

  • Constantly finding ways to show how happy they are with their new partner,
  • Constantly sharing pictures with their new partner, or
  • Boasting about how perfect that person is,

Know that it’s a sign your ex is unhappy in a new relationship. They are probably just trying to make you feel jealous. It shows that your ex probably still has feelings for you.

4. They haven’t returned or gotten rid of your stuff yet

There are several things that happen following a breakup and one of them could be getting rid of your ex-partner’s gifts and other things that they have given you. Many also take part in the post-breakup item exchange – returning all the things that their ex-partner left at their place.

If you’ve told them that you want your stuff back and they agreed to it, but keep making up excuses and cancel at the last minute, then it does beg the question – Why won’t they return your stuff? Maybe it’s one of the signs your ex is waiting for you or they are taking it as an opportunity to see you again in case things don’t work out with their current partner.

5. They spend more time with their friends than with their new partner

You might still get to know about what’s happening in your ex-partner’s life through second-hand sources, like mutual friends. If those sources reveal that your ex has been spending more time with their friends than their current partner, then your ex-partner is probably unhappy in their new relationship.

When you love someone and are in a serious relationship with them, you want to spend as much time as you can with them. We’re not saying you cannot have a life outside of your relationship. But there has to be a balance. The lack of it indicates that there’s something wrong between your ex-flame and their new partner.

6. Their new partner asks you to stay away from them

This is one of the sure-shot signs that there’s trouble in paradise. A partner being on good terms or staying in touch with their exes doesn’t sit well with some people. Their insecurity can wreak havoc on the relationship. Emily Cook, a marriage and family therapist in Bethesda, Maryland, says here, “Like ordinary jealousy, retroactive jealousy is fairly common. It doesn’t always create problems, but it can sometimes become obsessive and show up in unhealthy or destructive ways.”

If that’s the case, then know that they have already communicated their discomfort to your ex about them staying friends with you. But those conversations might not have yielded any results, which is why they are reaching out to you to tell you to back off. Doesn’t seem like a sign of a happy relationship, does it?

7. They regularly check your social media updates

If you want to know whether your ex-partner is unhappy in their new relationship, pay attention to their social media activity around your updates.

  • Are they quick to like or comment on your status updates, photos, or any other posts?
  • Does every single post, small/big update, or picture have a like or comment by your ex-partner?
  • Has it become a pattern since you broke up or since they got together with this new person?

If yes, then it’s one of the signs your ex is unhappy in their new relationship. Nikita, a friend of mine who went through a similar experience, says, “My ex-boyfriend and I broke up after two years of dating. Soon after, he got into a relationship with this new person. However, every time I would post any update on Facebook or Instagram, I would receive a ‘like’ or a comment from him within minutes of doing so. It eventually became a pattern where he would be the first to react to my posts or view my stories.”

8. There’s a sudden increase in their social media posts or a lack of them

Though this isn’t foolproof, you will be able to gauge your ex-partner’s feelings through their use of social media because you know them so well. There are two ways this works – either your ex doesn’t post about the new relationship or they post about it a lot. Both are signs your ex is unhappy in their new relationship.

A sudden increase in the number of posts on social media since your ex started dating the new person does not mean that they are happy with them. If they were, they would focus on spending time with their current partner rather than updating every minute’s detail online. The other side is the almost non-existent use of social media. It could indicate an ex keeping their new relationship a secret, either because they are not proud to be in a relationship with this person or because things aren’t going well.

There’s another sign your ex is unhappy in their new relationship. Like this Reddit user explains, “I had a co-worker who would literally force her boyfriend to post about them … she forced him to ask her to be his valentine … She executed the proposal and said that if he didn’t ask her to be his valentine, she was gonna dump him. Their social media posts are hilarious … She treats him like absolute sh*t yet all his posts and stories on IG are like declarations of love for her orchestrated by her.”

Related Reading: Stalking Your Ex On Social Media?

9. They speak ill about your new relationship

A breakup usually causes a lot of bitterness between partners. Amidst all this, the fact that you have moved on with someone else and are genuinely happy with the new person might make your ex feel all the more terrible, especially if they’re miserable in their new relationship. For them, to see you thriving with someone else is unacceptable.

  • This bitterness causes them to speak ill about your new relationship
  • They tend to gossip behind your back
  • They’ll go to any lengths to convince other people that it’s a bad idea and that it won’t work out
  • They’ll also make fun of or try to demean or insult your new partner and the equation you share with them

Basically, such an ex will try to prove to the world how messed up your relationship is just because they feel bitter about how things ended between the two of you, and because they still haven’t found peace in their current relationship.

10. They keep finding reasons to see or meet you

A recent study of young adults in romantic relationships claimed that those in frequent contact with their ex-partner after a breakup are more likely to witness a decline in life satisfaction. These are the signs your ex isn’t over you:

  • They will always come up with an excuse to see you
  • They’ll then try their best to justify their reasons to meet up
  • Whether it’s at a gathering of mutual friends or any shared obligation, you’ll end up seeing your ex-partner everywhere
  • They insist on meeting you alone

These are major signs your ex is waiting for you because they are not over you.

11. Their new partner has, suddenly, become their soulmate

People tend to jump into a rebound relationship right after a breakup to get over their ex-partners. Sometimes, such relationships suddenly turn serious where they begin to think that they’ve found their soulmate even though they haven’t spent any time getting to know each other to build that bond. It feels too good to be true.

If you see this happening, it can be because:

  • Your ex is pretending that you were the wrong person for them and that they’re over you and don’t need you anymore
  • They’re probably trying to convince themselves that they’ve found their soulmate in this new person
  • They brag and say that it’s the most perfect relationship they’ve ever been in because, deep down, they know it isn’t

If that’s the case, know that it’s one of the signs your ex is unhappy in a new relationship.

On Ex

12. Their friends still keep checking on you

This is one of the most common signs your ex isn’t over you. If your ex-partner’s friends still keep tabs on you or show way too much interest in the happenings of your personal life, know that they’re acting as spies to get as much information as they can about you. They want to know about your dating life so that they can report about it to your ex.

13. They fight a lot with their new partner

Fights and arguments in a relationship are normal and healthy. But if that becomes the dominant aspect, then there’s a problem. If your ex is constantly fighting with their new partner, then it’s a sign they aren’t happy in the relationship. This does not necessarily mean that it’s a sign your breakup is temporary. But it definitely shows that there’s trouble in paradise.

If you notice any of these 13 behavior patterns, know that these are signs your ex is unhappy in a new relationship. Once you’ve figured it out, what do you do? Do you help them find a way out or let sleeping dogs lie? Well, we suggest that you do not go on a rescue mission unless they’re looking to get back together with you and if that’s what you want as well. Besides, there’s a reason they are your ex-partner. If you’ve broken up for good, then the happenings of their personal life shouldn’t be your concern.

How To Cope When Your Ex Is Dating Someone New

A 2015 study stated that those who live in the fear of being single are more likely to long for their former partners and make an attempt to renew the relationship. It is hard to see someone you once loved and were in a relationship with move on and date a new person. But such is life and, at some point, you have to accept it and move on. Below are four ways to cope when your ex-partner gets into a new relationship with someone else. Practicing these steps will help you move on:

1. Process the news and take stock of your feelings

The first step to cope with a breakup is to process it and let yourself go through all the emotions you’re feeling.

  • You will have to take stock of your feelings
  • Cry or jot down your feelings if you want to. Don’t bottle them up
  • Accept the reality and move on
  • Don’t compare yourself to your ex-flame’s new partner
  • Try to resist the urge to know more about them

2. Focus on yourself

Shift your focus from your ex-partner to yourself. Do what makes you happy. You could:

  • Indulge in activities that you enjoy
  • Take care of your physical and mental well-being
  • Forgive yourself and figure out what the relationship taught you
  • Keep yourself busy
  • Practice self-love
  • Travel if you want to
  • Maintain a journal
  • Engage in positive self-talk
  • Focus on your career and personal growth

3. Cut off all contact

One of the best ways to cope when your ex-partner is dating someone else is to establish a no-contact rule. Stop calling them or receiving their calls. Don’t reply to their text messages. Block them on all social media platforms and avoid meeting them at all costs. You need time to cope and heal. Maybe you can be on good terms or even be friends later. But for the time being, snap all ties with your ex.

Related Reading: The 7 Stages Of A Breakup That Everyone Goes Through

4. Spend time with your friends and family

Talk to them about how you are feeling. Go out with your friends or plan a family get-together. Surround yourself with people you love and who love you back. Avoid mutual friends though. You might just spill some details about your ex-partner and it could put you in a spot, or they might share things about your ex’s new life that you don’t want to know about.

Key Pointers

  • If your ex-partner talks to you a lot, is emotionally dependent on you, and finds reasons to meet you often, then know that these are signs that your ex-partner is not happy in their new relationship
  • If your ex doesn’t post on social media about the new relationship at all, it could indicate that they are unhappy. Don’t be surprised if your ex is keeping the new relationship a secret
  • Pay attention to their response to your social media posts and updates. If you regularly receive notifications from them, then it’s a sign your ex isn’t over you
  • Cut off all contact with your ex and focus on yourself and your happiness
  • Don’t go on a rescue mission unless both of you want to get back together

We hope the above signs help you determine whether your ex-partner is happy in their new relationship or not. A breakup can be hard to deal with, but it’s not impossible. It’s also normal to stay friends with an ex after a breakup. However, don’t get too involved if you smell trouble in paradise. It might unnecessarily complicate things. Unless both of you really want to start afresh, it’s best to not wake the sleeping dog.

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