20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

Breakups and Scars
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signs your ex will never come back
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A breakup can feel like the end of the world. No amount of Ben & Jerry’s can fill the human-sized hole left in your heart, especially when it is accompanied by signs your ex will never come back to you. Even after the messiest breakup, you grab onto the tiniest sense of hope that you and your ex might rekindle the romance. However, it is time you stopped making excuses to avoid the harsh truth and remove your rose-tinted glasses, because your ex certainly has. 

Being oblivious to signs you will never get back together will do you more harm than good. Of course, the fantasy seems sweeter than the reality but living with false hopes will hamper every aspect of your life. In this article, we have identified 20 sure-shot signs which basically scream that your ex is gone forever. If you can relate to them, you know you have to put in some serious efforts in moving on. 

Here Are The 20 Signs Your Ex Will Never Come Back

It is very natural to hold hope of rekindling the flames, after your relationship ends. Holding on to this hope makes sense only when you know for sure that your ex partner is on the same page. Or is it unrequited love? If there are clear signs you will never hear from your ex again, the sooner you acknowledge them, the better.

Let’s face it, if your ex is a guy, they are hardly inconspicuous. So once you open your eyes, it’ll be blatantly obvious that your ex is moving forward. It’s always a sticky situation when breakups are involved, but it is even stickier when your love is unrequited. You never know if you’re being positive, hopeful, or clingy.

More often than not, if your ex is interested, a mere “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you” would be enough to make them ride your proverbial coattails. However, it has been confirmed by several of my friends that when a person has moved on, they always show clear signs. Here are 20 such signs that scream your ex is indifferent toward you now:

Related Reading: First Breakup – 11 Ways To Deal With It

1. Your relationship ended on a bad note

No one likes to relive sour memories, like messy breakups. But is that what happened with you? Then it would be a bit much to expect them to return post a terrible fight. Hence, if you both lived through a relationship phase where the signs of incompatibility were obvious, and then you broke up on a bitter note, there is a chance your ex is gone forever.

For instance, my college friends, Gary and Andrea, had a falling out regarding their college choices after six months of being together. They both ended up saying things that were better left unsaid. So, it’s likely that neither of them would pour salt over their wounds by returning to each other.

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2. They avoid your texts or calls

In this day and age, when everyone is hooked to their phones, it becomes glaringly obvious when she or he’s ignoring you for someone else. When your ex never contacts you again, it’s a strong sign that they want a fresh start. They won’t avoid your phone calls or texts if they’re looking to clear the air with you or considering getting back together.

3. They don’t look you in the eye

Eye contact is crucial; you can seldom have a serious conversation unless you’re face-to-face with the other person, looking them in the eye. If they avoid meeting your eyes, unless they are autistic, it might suggest that your ex is indifferent or they have started dating someone new. Eye contact attraction can be very intimate and endearing. You gradually start to understand what your loved one is thinking internally. If your ex is avoiding eye contact, it’s one of the signs you will never get back together.

4. They are already in a committed relationship

If they are already in a serious relationship, it’s an obvious sign your ex is never coming back. You might hate yourself if you cost another person their love. So, don’t expect your ex to come back if they’ve started dating someone else. It’s much wiser to accept you are not meant to be and try to focus on new people.

5. They have returned all your belongings

When you still have strong feelings for someone who is no longer in your life, you cling to the memories you shared. You keep their belongings, listen to tunes that remind you of them, they’re basically imprinted in your existence. 

But if your ex has returned all the stuff, they are trying to cut the cord of attachment. And this is one of the top signs you will never hear from your ex again. It’s better to let go of an ex who has moved on for good. Evidently, they want to get rid of anything that acts as a reminder of passionate love and are ready to start a new chapter in your life, as should you.

6. They’ve cut off contact with your mutual friends

Naturally, you and your ex would have mutual contacts that you used to hang out with. But if your ex has unfollowed the social media accounts of your mutual friends as well, it goes to show that your ex is never coming back. Star, a 31-year-old restaurant manager from Texas, shares with us, “If you’ve been blocked from everything, even email, they just want to forget your existence altogether. They definitely want to be left alone to focus on new opportunities or to heal from the breakup in peace.”

Related Reading: Can We Be Friends With Our Exes?

7. They aren’t envious of your romantic relationships

If your ex is considering getting back together, they would be curious about your hookups or relationships. Not necessarily saying they would turn into the next Joe Goldberg, but even your rebound relationships will unsettle them. But if your ex shows a keen disinterest when it comes to your romantic engagements, it is one of the signs your ex is never coming back. It’s pretty clear they are in a new chapter of their life and have detached themselves from yours.

8. They hardly make an effort

Will he come back? Will she finally see my love? The answer is “No” if they hardly put any effort into even sending text messages. Similarly, it can be difficult to determine if he or she is playing ‘hard to get’ or if they are plain uninterested. Once you conclude that they might be uninterested, it is better to stop waiting, spend time with yourself, and focus on your own happiness.

9. They ask you to move on

They ask you to move on

It is honestly the cruelest form of torture to walk away from a relationship when you don’t want to. It’s even more arduous if your beloved told you to move on. But in the words of poet Charles Bukowski, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” 

If you ex-partner wishes that you move on, you don’t need any further explanation. They are not looking to revive a romantic relationship with you. The best you can do in a situation like this is to choose and love yourself, and slowly but steadily move on to being a more healed person.

10. They have blocked you on social media

These days, when someone blocks you on social media accounts, it is essentially set in stone that they don’t want to think about your existence. They have chosen to let go of that part of their life. While it is seemingly heartbreaking, it’s not a bad thing after all. Maybe, the emotional baggage of your toxic relationship is beyond repair.

Research has found that 71% of people don’t get back together with their exes, only 15% of those who get back together stay together, and around 14% get back together but break up again. So, before you act on your desire to rekindle a romance with an ex, know that the odds are stacked against you. 

Related Reading: Signs Your Partner Is About To Break Up With You

11. They tell you they don’t love you anymore

The feeling of rejection is almost overwhelming. How to know when your ex is truly done with you? They tell you they have fallen out of love with you. Initially, it might be a bitter pill to swallow but things will start to look up, even if it’s a year from now. Exes eventually fade away but that’s how space gets created for a new partner. Sometimes, we are comfortable in a relationship but not in love anymore. So even if you are on cordial terms with them, see if it’s comfort or love.

12. Sleeping around is a sign your ex is never coming back

When your ex never contacts you again and instead starts sleeping with other people, it’s one of the sure signs your ex will never come back. They are either enjoying experimenting with their newfound independence or it’s their coping mechanism to get over the pain of a breakup. They have no intentions of getting back together if it’s the former.

13. The breakup doesn’t seem to affect them

If they seem unfazed by the breakup, it’s a sign your ex is never coming back. Perhaps they weren’t that involved in the relationship in the first place. It is also time you realize that you need to stop loving someone who does not love you.

Your self-confidence might take a hit, you might feel very lonely, but down the line, you will pick yourself up from these negative emotions. I feel as if this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald might resonate with you, “For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”

am i over my ex quiz

14. Flirting doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore

When they don’t flirt back with you/are not interested in your romantic advances, it’s one of the signs your ex will never come back. Usually, when someone is still interested in you, they look for opportunities to compliment you, make sexual innuendos and sweet gestures. If all these are lacking from your conversation, chances are they are looking at the bright side of the breakup.

15. They give vague and dismissive responses

Of course, it’s not a very pleasant feeling, especially after a long-term relationship, but don’t add love or meaning to their bland responses. See them for what they are. Pratt, a 27-year-old mechanic from Chicago, shares with us, “I kept wondering for five months after we broke up. Will he come back? Will he understand that this was a mistake?

“But no, I can say it now. If he is straight-up dismissive, speaks badly, or shows no interest in engaging in a conversation, your ex is not playing ‘hard to get’ or ‘pining for attention.’ They simply want to be left alone.”

16. “I think we’re better off as friends”

When they ask you to stay “good friends” after the breakup, it is one of the most direct signs your ex is never coming back. It could be difficult to be friend-zoned by them. But it is what it is. You need to get over the breakup. You also need to assess your options and stay away from them if your mental health is in jeopardy. For the benefit of your own life, tell them it would be preferable if you could fully cut the cords.

Research points out that staying friends with exes out of suppressed feelings for them led to negative outcomes, whereas staying friends due to security and practical reasons led to more positive outcomes. So, the question of the hour is: Have you agreed to stay friends with your ex out of suppressed feelings for them or because you want to be civil and don’t want them to hold grudges against you?

17. It’s been a while since you called it quits

How long have you been apart from your ex-partner? The longer you are separated, the less likely you are to rekindle those long-lost feelings. You are unlikely to contact each other if it has been a long time since you last spoke or saw each other. 

Related Reading: 7 Reasons You Lose Feelings For Someone Fast

If your ex never reached out, it means they have completely revamped their life. If they meant to return, they would have tried to contact you every now and then to see how you were doing. Or just generally tried to spike a conversation, hoping it advances to a romantic level. 

18. Your relationship ended due to infidelity

If either one of you was unfaithful, there is a slim chance of your relationship reigniting. You should know you can do ‘much’ better than dating a red flag. And if you were the one who cheated, then maybe you need to take a step back and assess if you can love your partner the way they deserve.

Research suggests that re-trusting a partner who has caused you emotional trauma – be it through infidelity, lying, dishonesty, or manipulation – requires openness, the intention to cooperate, sharing, and mutual support between partners. Being cheated on changes you and makes you more sensitive to betrayal and abandonment, and if your ex is showing zero intention to fix things, it’s better to walk away.

19. You’re not a topic of conversation

Have you contacted your mutual pals since splitting up with your ex? Does your ex keep referencing you, asking how you’ve been doing? One of the signs your ex will never come back is if they never mention you to other people. You’re the only person who’s waiting around. Let them go. In the words of C.S. Lewis, “There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind.”

Research shows that cyclical partners (couples who break up and got back together multiple times) report lower relational quality— less love, need satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction. So, if you want a healthy relationship in your life, reuniting with your ex will take you far away from that goal. Dating someone new would be more advisable.

stories about breakup and loss

20. They aren’t the supportive figure in your life anymore

There is nothing more validating than being a ‘relationship hero.’ James Bauer, a relationship expert, coined the term ‘hero instinct,’ which means that men have a psychological need to feel needed by their partners. This is one of the factors that makes a man fall in love with a woman. 

How to know when your ex is truly done with you? They are no longer there for you as your support system. Small things like not checking in can indicate that you are not a big part of their life anymore. It’s not a bad thing after all. You can be your own hero.

Key Pointers

  • If your ex got a glow-up minutes after things ended, it could be one of the worst things to process, especially if you’re still in pain
  • If they jumped to a new relationship a few weeks after the breakup, it’s sign they won’t come back
  • If your ex keeps telling you how life is simpler since long-distance is over, they’re moving on
  • Everyone has their own way to get closure but make sure you contact your ex just for closure
  • You don’t need to bad-mouth your ex to your other friends; it’s better to silently move on

We have reached the end of this bittersweet guide for how to notice the signs your ex will never come back. I hope your nerves are settled and all your questions have been answered. I’m one of the biggest supporters of optimism and hope. There is nothing wrong with wanting to clear the air with your ex. 

But I also urge you to draw a line when it starts affecting your mental health. Your life is never dictated by the presence of a particular person and I hope you understand your worth soon. If you feel lost and are low-key obsessed with your ex’s life, Bonobology has a panel of experienced counselors who can guide you through this phase of life.

FAQs

1. What are the signs he will come back?

If he is still in contact with you, talks to your friends, stalks you on social media, and has not jumped to a new partner, these are all the signs he still wants to make the relationship work. However, if your ex never reached out, it’s not a good sign.

2. Why do men come back months later?

In many cases, he might come back months later because he needs some clarity. Or he might just want to talk to you about what happened and why, so that he can finally get some closure.

3. Why do I have this strong gut feeling that he’s going to come back to me?

Maybe you still have feelings for him and are still clinging to false hopes. It can also be because he has friend-zoned you and is keeping you around for validation. However, remember one thing: it ended for a reason.

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