If you are looking for signs he never loved you, then I am quite sure you are at a juncture in your life where you are questioning your current or former lover’s feelings toward you. And you wouldn’t be wrong to do so. You must have felt something really strongly to have arrived at this question. When you are in a relationship and you have poured all your love, time and energy into the man, it is normal to expect the same kind of love to be reciprocated from his end.
There is nothing more brutal and heartbreaking than realizing the man you loved so much never loved you back. To be in a relationship for so long and not being loved back is painful. If you find yourself looking for signs he never loved you at all, then don’t be sorrowful. You are not alone. Many have faced this and come out stronger than ever.
15 Signs He Never Loved You
Love is the chief component of every relationship. If there are any signs he doesn’t love you or he never loved you, then what’s the point of such a relationship? You might as well break it off and be single and happy. There is no need to depend on another person for your happiness. You are responsible for your happiness and peace of mind. There are ways to find happiness after breakup and heal completely.
You can love someone with every fiber of your being. Yet, the sad truth is, that sometimes even such a love isn’t enough for someone to love you back. You need to keep in mind that you are not accountable for his feelings. You have done what was your’s to do by showering him with love, respect and compassion. It’s not your fault that he doesn’t feel the same way about you.
Some women fall prey to the notion that it’s they who are unlovable. That couldn’t be further from the truth. If you are asking the question how to know if someone never loved you, then scroll below and read further.
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1. Lack of communication
This is one of the most obvious signs he never loved you. When there is lack of communication in a relationship, everything starts to fall apart. If you are in love with someone, it becomes an inherent need and desire to talk to them all the time. To get to know everything about them. To know how their day went. To know the littlest details about their meetup with friends. To know how their professional life is going.
When all of that stops, it is one of the signs he doesn’t have feelings for you anymore. Even if there is some kind of communication but it isn’t proving to be effective, then that could be because he doesn’t want to improve the quality of the relationship.
Just understanding why is communication important won’t help. What matters is how you implement those conversations into bettering your relationship. If he doesn’t care about what you said in that conversation or neglects you even when you initiate and try to connect with him, then it is one of the sure signs he never loved you at all.
2. You were never his first priority
The key to living a happy and healthy life is when you learn how to balance your personal and professional life. By saying he never put you first, I am not saying that he should choose you over everyone else all the time. A healthy balance is what I am hinting at as there are so many ways and tips to create a balanced relationship with your significant other. I’ll narrate a personal example of my former partner and how he never loved me, but just used me.
Whenever he would go out with his friends, I was never invited nor even informed. However, often when we had plans, he would ditch them to go hangout with his buddies. It crushed me. I realized that he never loved me, long after I ended things with him. It’s not like he has to choose you over his friends or family or work, but to not matter at all and have all your plans dumped most of the time? Yeah, not on.
My current partner, however, is on the other end of the spectrum. It’s the way he never makes me feel left out. Every time he goes out with his friends or colleagues, he calls me up from his drive back home to ask if I would like to grab some ice cream or, after he comes home, we snuggle on the couch and watch a movie of my choice. Thanks to him, I realized how little acts like these go a long way in keeping together the larger portion of a loving relationship and that there are many cute ways to strengthen relationships.
3. He was never interested in meeting your friends and family
We all have friends and family we would love to introduce special people in our lives to. It’s the same with a man you are madly in love with. If he refused to meet such integral people in your life, then it is certain he never loved you. If he really loved you, he would have wanted to meet your family and get to know them.
Introducing your SO to your parents is a big thing as a relationship becomes serious when you involve family and friends. And even if he has met your family, but never bothered about getting to know them or attending any events thrown by your family and friends just goes to show how precious little you mattered to him.
4. Zero efforts is one of the signs he never loved you
How does a relationship work? It works when two people put in the same effort. No less, no more. It has to be equal from both sides. When a relationship becomes one-sided, it gets tiresome. Effort in a relationship is very crucial. When I realized my ex never loved me but used me, I noticed his patterns. I noticed how he put absolutely no effort in keeping the relationship alive.
From calling you to check if you’ve reached home safely to making a romantic gesture such as cooking for you or just taking you out for dinner to your favorite restaurant – putting in effort can be as simple and easy as that. If you are asking how to know if someone never loved you, think about the amount of effort he put into the relationship.
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5. Nothing about you interested him besides sex
If the only thing he was expecting out of your dinner date was sex, then it’s a big red flag and one of the signs he never loved you at all. There are many ways to know if he loved you or was he into it just for sex. One of the signs he doesn’t have feelings for you is when he is affectionate only while having sex with you. I’ll share some very helpful wisdom here:
You weren’t an object to be used whenever he desired. A man has to want you in order to make love to you. Sex is an intimate act, and most definitely an important aspect of any relationship, but not the kind that makes you feel less about yourself or makes you feel unloved after lovemaking. If he came over just to have sex, it’s one of the telltale signs he never loved you.
6. He threatened to leave you before actually leaving you
I can’t tell you the number of times I’d received break-up threats from my ex. It’s one of the subtle forms of emotional abuse. He would bring it up while we were texting, over phone calls and even when we were out having a good time. At least I thought we were having a good time. And that’s one of the things I realized much later, that he never loved me but just used me.
If he doesn’t threaten to leave you but instead he says you can leave whenever you want, that’s also one of the answers to your question of how to know if someone never loved you. An exit door to a relationship only opens when the love has faded. If he opens that door for you, I suggest you walk out immediately.
7. He never trusted you
Did he accuse you of cheating on him or not loving him enough? Well then, that’s definitely one of the signs he never loved you and had trust issues. A relationship survives on trust and if that is lacking, then you might as well get rid of him and move on.
If he constantly checked your phone, then there was no evidence of love in that relationship. There’s no way he could have loved you without trusting you. If you are wondering how to know if someone never loved you, the answer is in the level of trust he had on you.
8. He never compromised
The willingness to compromise is one of the significant things that every relationship demands. You can’t always have your way and he can’t always have his. If he never compromised, then it’s one of the signs of a selfish boyfriend. The ability to compromise comes only when there is true love involved. If he never compromised, then that’s another one of the signs he never loved you.
If he always insisted on doing things his own way, if the two of you did the things that only he liked, watched the shows that only he enjoyed, ate only at his favorite restaurants, then he never really cared about your interests and likes.
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9. Acting like you are a burden is one of the signs he never loved you
If you are asking how to know if someone never loved you, then answer this – did he act like you were a burden to him? Did your needs become a burden to him and you, a source of inconvenience? If yes, then those are sure-shot signs he pretended to love you.
We all want to be loved and cared for. If the answers to the above questions are in the affirmative, then pretending as if your wants are a burden is in no way an act of love. It’s one of the signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you. It’s a selfish way to try to make you feel inferior.
10. He abused you
It doesn’t matter if it was physical or mental or verbal abuse. Even not saying anything and stonewalling is abuse. What matters is he had the inclination to harm you in the name of love. When you love someone truly, you would never harm them intentionally. If he ever tried to physically harm you, it is one of the signs he never loved you.
It’s never direct physical harm. It starts when his tone gets louder when the two of you are having an argument. It will slowly shift to throwing things around you. It’s wrong even if his throw isn’t aimed at you. There’s a famous saying, before he punches you, he will punch the wall near you. This is one of the most alarming signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
11. He never expressed his love
The expression of love doesn’t just mean the admission of it. You can express love in many ways – by indulging in sweet and romantic gestures, by pampering them, or just by spending quality time with them, watching a movie or cooking together. If he wasn’t romantic with you, then it’s time you start accepting that he never loved you.
Do you even remember the last time you felt loved by him? Were you constantly feeling you were lonely, disrespected, ignored and had to put in all the effort just by yourself? Well, that’s what a one-sided relationship looks like. You might as well have had a relationship with a tree rather than being with a man who doesn’t love you.
12. He never spoke about the future
When you love someone, you want to have a future with them. To move in with them, get married and have babies together. If he never spoke about his future with you, then it’s one of the signs he never loved you and one of the signs he will never come back to you. There’s no point in being in a committed relationship that doesn’t have a future.
Has he ever asked questions like where you would want to live maybe a few years down the line? If he never spoke about his future, it means he never saw you in it or wanted you in it. That’s reason enough for you to start accepting that he never loved you.
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13. He brought up other women
Did he bring up other women just to make you feel insecure and jealous? Boy, is that one of the signs he never loved you at all! He can’t claim to love you if he rubs the existence of other women in your face and boasts about it. It is not healthy jealousy in relationships if the purpose is only to hurt you.
If he did that, it’s one of the clear signs he never loved you. He never respected you either. You should be glad the relationship is over. It was a toxic relationship and you deserve better.
14. Cheating is one of the signs he never loved you
For some women, cheating is a dealbreaker. But some women forgive their significant other and give the relationship one more chance. The real reason why someone cheats is they no longer love you or respect you. Cheating affects a woman in extremely harmful ways. If you forgave him once but he just kept cheating on you, then it’s one of the signs he never loved you.
He was just taking advantage of your love for him. It takes an immense amount of love to forgive a cheating boyfriend and if you’ve done that, then you are either desperate for him to be in your life or you are just too afraid to imagine a life without him. Make wise choices if you want to stay happy.
15. He moved on right after the breakup
The moment it became concrete that he didn’t love me but had just used me, was when my ex moved on right after the breakup. He began dating a week after we broke up and had a few rebound relationships. And within the next couple of months, he got married.
When two people break up, a lot of time is needed to heal and move on from it. But if he moved on in lightning speed after breaking up with you, then it is one of the sure shot signs he never loved you in the first place.
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How To Get Over A Man Who Never Loved You
Getting over someone is never easy, especially if you were completely dedicated to that man. If he treated you poorly, then he must have dented your self-esteem and confidence. But you’re a queen. Below are some of the ways you can get over a man who never loved you.
1. Cry it out
Relationship failures are a part of life. Don’t hold back or suppress your emotions. You will have to learn how to move on without closure. Acknowledge them and have a good cry. Once you are done crying, cut him off. Block him everywhere and delete those pictures. Don’t revisit the pictures. It will only remind you of him and the times you both shared.
2. Acceptance is the key
You need to accept the fact that you two are over, done, finito. It is okay to stay single for a while. Tell yourself that you’re better off without him. When that person didn’t need you or want you, why would you want such a person? The next time you feel like calling them or texting them, stop for a moment and think of the ways they made you feel miserable. Do you want to be a slave to a person who doesn’t care about you? It’s better to swallow the urge and try to move on.
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3. Distract yourself
Breakups are difficult. You need to distract yourself from bad thoughts during this phase. Pick up a hobby. Travel. Meet your family and friends. Work out. Go jogging. Have a rebound relationship. Learn things about yourself from past relationships. There are so many things you can do to distract yourself.
4. Go to therapy
If it becomes unbearable, this is the best way to deal with the situation. Talk about it with a trusted friend or go to therapy. A sane mind is all you need to get your life back on track. If you are looking for professional help, Bonobology’s panel of experienced counselors is only a click away.
The only thing you need to keep in mind is, it wasn’t you. It was him. Be determined and focus on becoming a stronger person. You need to believe that you will find love again. Get back out there in the dating pool. After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea and you are way to good for the small fry. Now, go fish!